by Auriane Bell
“Hush, hush,” he said, continuing to support her. “It will be over soon. Try to control your breathing.”
“It’s no use,” she gasped.
“Try to focus. You are going to be alright, don’t worry. Repeat after me: Hilf, Ma-,“ Adrijan remembered Vivian’s wish at the last moment. “Never mind that.” Quickly he tried to think of something else he knew by heart – something, that wasn’t a prayer.
“Hm?” Even though Mairin sounded weak she still seemed to have plenty of energy to be upset.
“Repeat after me: Gallia est omnia divisa in partes tres.”
“Gallia…omnia…partes tres,” she mumbled.
“Good, good,” he encouraged her. “… quarum unam incolunt Belgae…”
Mairin obediently echoed his words and he continued the procedure until she finally seemed to have calmed down. The monotonous sound of the running water came to the fore as they were both silently recovering from their fight. Awkwardly Adrijan let go of her arm.
“Do you want to catch some fresh air?”
He waited for her agreement before opening the bathroom door to talk to Hilda. He was still keeping an eye on Mairin, ready to jump to her aid if need be.
“Could you please fetch a coat and some warm boots for Miss Muriel, Hilda? We’ll go for a walk.”
“But…”
“I won’t let anything happen to her,” he interrupted her.
“Uh, Father, I just wanted to know if you needed your coat as well,” Hilda meekly explained.
Adrijan cleared his throat, annoyed that he had leapt to the wrong conclusion.
“If you don’t mind, Hilda…”
The maid left and he stepped back into the bathroom. Unlike when he had acted subconsciously, he was no longer able to get close to Mairin or to find the right words to say. Silently he observed her image in the mirror, noticing her embarrassment and her weakened state. She had cleaned up as good as possible and seemed to have regained her calm but Adrijan was certain that she could feel his eyes resting on her, heavily like a balance weight and even though he wanted to look at her just a bit longer, he decided to lower his gaze.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have come.
Wrapped into her warm, white fake fur coat, with her head covered by a corresponding cap and her hands tucked into a muff she braved the cold. Leaving the walls of Mondstein castle had curiously improved her condition very quickly.
Adrijan was walking next to her, keeping his distance and hiding his bare hands in the pockets of his long black coat.
“Are you feeling better?”
Mairin lifted her chin so her words wouldn’t be muffled by the scarf. Her breath turned clearly visible in the biting cold.
“Mhm. I’m sorry for taking up your time.”
Adrijan didn’t reply. He was probably annoyed that he had to take care of her.
“Did anything happen during the dress viewing?” he asked bluntly.
Her stomach answered with a growl which she hoped he hadn’t been able to hear.
“No. I’ve even found a dress I like.”
“So there was nothing upsetting, nothing peculiar?”
“Well… there was gossip,” she admitted.
“What did they say?”
“I’d rather not repeat it.”
“You can tell me.”
Had he asked her if she wanted to go for a walk because he had wanted to question her without being disturbed?
“It made me think of the wedding.”
Adrijan remained firm.
“There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“The… night,” she gave in.
“The wedding night?”
Did he have to put it into words?
“Mhm.”
Mairin halted. She was starting to feel sick again. Adrijan turned to her.
“Breathe steadily,” he reminded her. “Everything is going to be alright. He won’t force you into doing anything you don’t want.”
Mairin didn’t think ill of Vivian but he had made the rules after all. How was she to believe that he wouldn’t do anything of the kind, after demanding that she slept with him if she wanted to stay at Mondstein castle? Now that Adrijan had made clear that he wasn’t available to her not many options remained. If she decided to change her mind, she would have to go back to Traumstadt, to live in an artificial past she was no longer used to and her family was likely to lose the immortal’s support. Perhaps Renga would even have to give up the position as the headmistress of Sunflower Garden she was so fond of.
Yet Adrijan was right. She had made her choice to become the immortal’s wife. She hadn’t been forced into it.
Mairin sank to the ground, fighting against the knotty feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I can see why you would be scared, but I believe that you’ve made the right choice. Vivian will surely make you happy.”
Happiness. Mairin removed one hand from the muff and started to draw a random pattern into the snow. This wasn’t what she had wanted to hear. Couldn’t he try to persuade her to reconsider? Why did he have to sound like he didn’t care that she was going to marry his brother?
“Because he doesn’t,” she replied to her own question.
Adrijan crouched down next to her and began to extend her drawings. It was this hand she wanted to touch, not Vivian’s. Mairin hid her cold fingers in the muff and clenched her fist where it couldn’t be seen.
“Mhm. He will make me happy.”
Mairin shivered.
“I feel much better now,” she lied and got up from the floor. “Let’s return to the castle so we can proceed with the dress fitting. I’m certain Hilda will be waiting for me.”
Adrijan nodded, smiling at her.
Why did he have to smile?
The dress fit her better than she had expected and she was neither wearing any makeup or accessories besides her mother’s necklace, nor was her hairstyle the way she had decided it to be for the wedding.
“It suits you well, Miss,” Hilda complimented her.
Patiently Mairin stood still in front of the mirror as the tailor slowly circled her, carefully and skilfully pinning one part of the dress after the other until a violent knocking at the door made them turn their heads.
“Would you go and see who it is, Hilda?” Mairin asked. Had Adrijan changed his mind and come to save her after all?
The maid obediently went to the other end of the bathroom to answer the door.
Engelin rushed through the gap, too quickly for the maid to catch her and halted in front of Mairin, curiously examining her with innocent eyes.
“It doesn’t even look that bad on you. I guess two ugly things make a less ugly whole.”
“Thank you,” Mairin replied nonchalantly.
“Should I… remove her, Miss?”
Mairin shook her head.
“Why have you come, Engelin?”
The pretty tomboy grabbed her hand and tried to drag her off the low pedestal she was standing on.
“I have to talk to you in private,” she announced still tearing at her arm.
Mairin gave in and allowed the child to take her away, hoping that Engelin would leave once she had told her what she had come for.
The girl had chosen the staircase to Mairin’s bedroom as the place where she wanted to reveal her private information and after pulling Mairin up with her, she sneakily went back to the last step and threw a glance around the corner to make certain that nobody had followed them. Satisfied she returned to her side.
“What is it, Engelin?”
“It’s about Vivian,” she said, glaring at her.
Vivian? Was this the right way for a child to address the immortal master of Mondstein castle?
“What abou-“
“Don’t marry him. In fact it would be best if you left him alone altogether.”
“Why should I listen to you?”
“You said you didn’t care for him,” Engelin reminded her.
“I said no such thing,” Mairin denied her accusation.
“But I want him, and you don’t.”
Mairin frowned. Was this the reason for Engelin’s hostility – the mere phantasies of a child?
“Don’t you think your Prince Charming is a little too old for you?”
“Isn’t he too old for both of us?” Engelin replied stubbornly.
Sadly the girl had a point.
“Then you’re too young for him,” Mairin corrected her statement.
Engelin pouted and folded her arms.
“He’ll remain the same but I’ll grow older. Just look at me, I’m a big girl already!”
Mairin rolled her eyes.
“You don’t know what you’re saying, Engelin.”
“But I do know-“
Mairin was getting tired of the girl’s nonsense.
“Come,” she said, grabbing one of her hands and leading her downstairs. “Does your mother even know you’re here?”
“Let go, silly cow!” Engelin snapped at her, resisting her grip.
“No, I won’t. I don’t have time for your wild ideas.”
Mairin continued to drag her forward.
“Alright,” Engelin gave in. “Stop, I’ll leave, I promise.”
Mairin sighed, letting go of her hand. The girl stood in front of her on the bathroom floor, gazing at her without saying a word. Engelin let her eyes wander down over her figure and then she suddenly jumped forward and kicked Mairin’s shin.
They had done their very best to cover the bruise with makeup but Mairin could feel the anger swell just by thinking of the little brat who had caused it. She welcomed the feeling, considering that it helped her to push away the nervousness and anxiety.
The days until the wedding had passed as quickly as it was usual for the waiting period before a dreaded event. Every single day had gone by within the blink of an eye, but the night had dragged on. She had wanted to fall asleep, knowing that she would need all the energy she could gather for her wedding day. Instead she had lain awake, conscious of her own heartbeat and with eyes that had refused to remain closed. In the end she hadn’t even been certain if she had slept at all. When the morning had come she had desperately wished to be able to make it last and realising that it wasn’t going to happen she had just gotten up to confront the day.
“It’s a very exceptional dress, Miss Muriel. I’m certain Master Adrijan will be surprised.” Alfred noted.
“Adrijan? Don’t you mean Vivian?” she asked confused.
“Certainly both of them will be surprised, Miss,” the butler replied.
They were already lined up in front of the door to the great hall. Engelin looked charming in her custom made dress, ready to lead the small procession. Behind the girl stood six maids in two groups of three, waiting like everyone else for the door to open. Hilda once again adjusted Mairin’s veil and returned to her place behind the bride, where she would follow Alfred and Mairin together with Corinne. Without jealousy she noticed that her personal maid looked as radiant as if it were her own wedding.
The knotty feeling in her stomach had returned and Mairin tried to put Adrijan’s advice to good use. There was no running away now.
While focusing on her breathing she nervously observed Änlin who tried to give Engelin some instructions. The girl protested and vigorously tossed a handful of white petals to the ground. Mairin hoped she was going to behave more civilised when she was walking down the aisle.
Involuntarily she smiled. Did it really matter if this farce was going well?
The doors were finally opened, commencing the ceremony, yet her mind was occupied by only one thought: Tonight Winther would have to sleep alone.
The flower girl had appeared in the entrance and the special music ensemble started to play as soon as Engelin began to hurl her white flower petals into the air. Considering the child’s enthusiasm Adrijan was wondering if the content of the basket was even going to suffice for the moderately short distance she would have to cover. The bridesmaids behind Engelin were casting red petals to the ground. Though they were fewer in count they stood out like drops of blood on the white carpet with the silver margin.
Adrijan closed his eyes, listening to Pachelbel’s canon in D. The gifted musicians were using instruments from the time the composition originated – baroque violins, baroque cello and baroque organ as well as a theorbo.
As the music progressed, Adrijan caught himself afraid of opening his eyes again. By now Mairin had to have appeared in the hall and was most likely already close to him and the groom.
“Ade? Just look at her…”
It was Vivian’s unbelieving voice that penetrated the sound of the music and the clustered thoughts that occupied his mind. Unwillingly Adrijan followed his brother’s request.
Engelin had put back the distance more quickly than the others and was about to step off the carpet to join her mother Änlin who was standing near to them. His gaze focused on the small procession behind the girl. The remaining bridesmaids were splitting up into two groups, creating an alleyway for Mairin and Alfred and giving Adrijan a clear view of the bride.
Mairin’s dark brown hair was loosely put up and held in place by a broad silvery white headband. Attached to it was a beautiful veil that was like gossamer and reached from her head to the floor, enveloping her without hiding the revealing wedding gown she had chosen.
The soft curve of the sleeveless bust line top peaked in the centre, where it touched Mairin’s treasured necklace.
Astonished he examined the angelic wings that were protruding to her sides. As far as he could see they were ingeniously crafted out of white feathers and showed a hint of grey closer to her body. The choice of colour turned them into more than a feature of a heavenly being – they induced the observer to draw a comparison to the ugly duckling that had turned into a beautiful swan.
Even though Adrijan felt that it was wrong to stare at the bride this intently, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Underneath the low, slim waistline the dress was in the front no more than an almost too short skirt and cut in a smooth zigzag pattern that bore a resemblance to the tips of flower petals. Every one of the four smoothly edged pieces was adorned with tiny silver embroidery at their borders. The external parts opened out into the rest of the gown where it was carrying the same decoration and reached down to the floor. The dress was longest in the back, where part of its fine fabric rested on the carpet, gently ruffled and almost in a semicircle, reminding of the white swash on the beach, the last breath of a wave of the sea.
Due to the lack of material in the front, Adrijan had a clear view of Mairin’s long pale legs. Hastily he turned his eyes down and found himself trying to focus on her silver pumps. Ribbons of the same colour as her shoes were tied around her lower legs, entangling one of them almost up to her knee, while only covering the ankle of the other. Before he was able to take notice of it, following the first had led his gaze back up again. Adrijan quickly searched for something that was safe to look at and found it in Mairin’s hands.
Unlike the other brides he had seen before, Mairin wasn’t carrying a bridal bouquet. He wasn’t entirely certain what kind of plant it was, but his best guess was that the huge white blossom she was balancing on her palms was an exotic water lily. It had a diameter of at least twenty centimetres, fit her outfit perfectly – and had most likely been Vivian’s idea.
Adrijan suppressed a sigh.
Mairin looked no less than breath-taking. Without a doubt, she and the master of Mondstein castle would make a lovely pair.
Mairin was taken in by the magic of the ceremony as she was walking down the aisle. The wedding surpassed her wildest expectations. Even when she had been a child with a vivid imagination and often pondering about her future, she hadn’t been able to dream up this moment in such a way. Of course back then she also hadn’t quite expected to feel the desire to marry the priest instead of the prince on that fated day.
Mairin was driv
en forward, following the rhythm of the enticing music. The last steps into a spider web had never before been accompanied by a melody this lovely, nor had a nightmare ever been so beautifully disguised by being dipped into shining and shimmering tones of white and silver.
Vivian was waiting for her next to Adrijan, smiling encouragingly. Besides Alfred, the two of them were the only people in black. Even though she had expected something more festive, the priest wore his usual garments as well as the emotionless expression that brought back unpleasant memories of her visit at Mrs Crouse’s home.
Her groom had chosen a simple black cutaway and trousers, a white shirt and an ascot tie. After many weeks of dressing up, she was almost disappointed that Vivian hadn’t shown up in a ceremonial uniform she was certain he possessed. Despite his – considering Vivian’s usually extravagant behaviour – average outfit and the lack of a crown he still managed to look regal.
His brother Adrijan had chosen the bride well. Vivian was almost looking forward to the wedding night – almost. It was certainly regrettable that everything had come to be like this after his brother had finally fallen in love after all those centuries. Perhaps love and sadness were indeed sisters.
Vivian continued smiling at the girl as she halted next to him. Over the years he had learnt that the only way to survive was to move on. After all, even impaired pleasure, was still pleasure.
Hilda hurried to Mairin’s side, as devoutly as possible. Her utter lack of knowledge about classical music left her in the dark about the length of the composition and she was in a rush to complete her task. The maid didn’t quite understand why Vivian had asked the music ensemble to come after having a whole orchestra to his disposal. But what did she know about the likes of him?
Corinne helped her lift the veil over Mairin’s head and she carefully removed most of the pins and loosened the rest like she had been instructed.
Her mistress looked very pretty in her gown and a glance at Father Adrijan told her, that she wasn’t the only one thinking that way.
