by V. Vaughn
Fortunately Matt says, “She’s right. Once we take care of Jax we can celebrate.” He waggles his eyebrows at me as he grabs his crotch. “A kill always makes fucking better. Ain’t that right, Sasha?”
I offer a fake smile as if I agree, and I move away from Sean to say, “I’m hungry. Let’s go get breakfast, and I’ll lay out the places Jax would go.”
Matt swings his arm toward the diner and says, “Lead the way.”
The aroma of cinnamon wafts toward me when we enter, and I’m reminded of the waffles I had yesterday. Sadness washes over me, but I shake it off. I haven’t got time for emotions, and I focus on rebuilding my stone heart. When the hostess seats us in the same booth I shared with Jax, my resolve crumbles as the threat of tears rushes forward.
I blink them back as I say, “I’m going to go to the restroom for a minute, guys. Be right back.”
As I walk farther away from Matt and Sean, the urge to run is strong. I don’t want to go back to the Eradicators. But where else is there for me to go? I’m lost in my thoughts as I approach the ladies’ room, and when fingers dig into my arm I’m caught off guard. I glance up at Jax as he yanks me into the men’s room. Once he shuts the door I notice a big window set up high, and it’s wide open. “So the men get a window.”
Jax speaks in a low voice. “Be glad for it. Now climb out, because I need to talk to you.”
I open my mouth to object, and his hand slaps over it, making my teeth cut into my lip. The coppery flavor of blood coats my tongue as Jax hoists me up, and I raise my legs to stick them out the opening. I bend to land softly behind a Dumpster with a light thud. I’m not sure what Jax wants from me, and I should probably run to get away, but going back to Sean and Matt to be their plaything is less appealing than whatever Jax has planned for me. The sour smell of spoiled milk makes me grimace as he thuds down beside me.
He grabs my arm again and drags me over to his SUV. Neither of us talk as he opens the door, and I get inside before he decides to push me. Jax gets in behind the wheel, and his gaze cuts right to my heart when he says, “Tell me the truth, Sasha. Are you leaving because you want to?”
I should lie so he’ll leave, but my damn emotions make my eyes fill with tears and give me away. I shake my head, and he sighs. “God, I’m stupid. Sorry.” He starts the engine as he says, “I let the pain of rejection cloud my judgement.”
“Wait.” I’m the one that’s being stupid. “I can’t go with you. They’re going to kill you, Jax.”
He chuckles. “Do you have any idea how many of us are in this town? You can’t go anywhere without stumbling on one of us, Sasha.”
“Oh.” I glance forward as movement catches my eye, and through the windshield I discover Sean and Matt coming our way. “Shit.” I jump out of the car as I yell to Jax. “Go!”
But as I walk toward the two men, Jax doesn’t leave. I begin to jog in the hope that I can stop them from going to get Jax. I say, “Sean, Matt.” I lie in desperation. “I was wrong. He’s not one of them.”
Neither of the men acknowledge me as they push me out of their way and continue toward the SUV. Their heavy boots stomp, and I grab Sean’s arm as I say, “Please, he has no idea what this is about!”
Sean shoves me hard enough this time I stumble back as Matt spits out, “Kill or be killed.” It’s one of Drake’s favorite mantras, and ice floods my veins. Why the hell isn’t Jax driving away?
I watch as Jax steps out of the car and crosses his arms over his massive chest. He says, “Gentlemen. Do we have a problem?”
Oh god. Jax thinks he can take on these two? I move beside Matt and say, “Please, let’s just walk away and--”
Matt turns to me, and I don’t even see his fist before the smack of it sends pain shooting through my jaw. His reflexes aren’t the only ones that are quick, because before I slam to the ground, Jax’s familiar growl sounds. I blink in shock as Jax sends Matt and Sean flying with a set of his own punches, and the pavement beneath me shudders before I snap up to my feet in a ready position to fight.
A car door slams hard in the distance, and I swear I hear more growling, but it doesn’t register, because the glint of Sean’s gun captures my attention instead. I scream, “No!” as the muscles in my thighs explode with power, and I launch myself through the air to get between the gun and Jax.
I’m midair when the crack of a shot deafens me. It’s followed by white-hot pain exploding in my chest before asphalt meets me with its agonizing hardness once again. Oh god. The world before me swims in front of my eyes as muffled noises carry to me. I think I hear a fight, and I know I attempt a scream when I slam my hand on my wound to try to stop the bleeding. I gasp for air, but it won’t come, and Jax’s face appears in my sight.
He scoops me up, and I hear his voice faintly as he says, “I need to bite you if you want to live. Say yes.”
I nod as the blackness takes over. I try not to shut my eyes so I can keep Jax as my last memory before I die.
11
When I was fifteen Rand took me out hunting. I’d been training on our courses for two years with a gun and was an excellent shot for both stationary and moving targets. But I’d never killed, and I was finally getting the chance to test my skills. The two of us waited in a deer stand set high in a tree. As I struggled to keep still, a doe walked into the clearing. Rand nudged me gently, and I lifted my gun to shoot. She was in my sights, and all I had to do was pull the trigger, but when her two fawns appeared, I hesitated. Our scent must have travelled to the doe, because she bolted.
That was the first time I’d ever experienced Rand’s anger. He grabbed my throat and slammed me against the tree so hard stars swam before my eyes. His strong hand squeezed as he said, “You’re dead. If that had been a werebear, they’d be shredding you to pieces, and you’d wish that I’d killed you like this instead.” He didn’t stop strangling me until I passed out. And apparently I almost died, because he crushed a portion of my esophagus. The damage to my vocal cords gave me my raspy voice for life.
As I breathe, my chest aches where I was shot. Last night, I recall wishing Rand had killed me as I had many fantasies of dying. Tori lied about the pain of the change, because there’s no way childbirth can be that bad. Women wouldn’t have children if it were. The sound of my bones breaking is still fresh in my mind, and I recall the torture of my body letting my bear out. My skin was stretched to the point it must have torn, and a whimper escapes my lips at the memory of the intense burning that made me feel as if I were being torched alive. Thank god I passed out.
The scent of Jax was the first thing I noticed when I woke earlier. He told me my senses would be intensified. Shame over trying to leave yesterday has made me keep my eyes shut so I don’t have to face him yet.
I stretch my leg a little to check on my pain level. It’s not too bad. Apparently my body is okay with being a werebear, but it’s going to take a while for my mind to accept this. I suppress a shudder as I hope I can learn to control my animal tendencies.
“I know you’re awake, Sasha,” says Jax. “You’re fidgeting. Talk to me.”
I whisper. “Fine.”
Jax chuckles, and the sound caresses me. I blink to clear my vision, and when I see Jax I smile. He asks, “How do you feel?”
“I bet you have an idea. That really sucked.”
My mate leans down over me and says, “Yeah. But you’re alive. The bullet punctured your lung and probably shredded part of your heart.”
He kisses me tenderly before he pulls away, and I sigh, “You saved me. How?”
Jax smiles as he leans over me, and a lock clicks as he opens one of my restraints. “Werebear heal at an amazing rate. I had to change you to keep you alive. But man, your change was so much worse than Courtney’s. Even Tori was impressed with how you pulled through.”
“Tori?” My muscles groan in pain as if I were beat up as I sit and slide back to lean against the headboard of the bed. It thuds against the wall, and a flush rushes to my cheek
s when I recall the last time I made that sound.
Jax grins at me as if he knows what I’m thinking. He says, “She just left. And she wants you to be a warrior.”
I’m nude under the sheet that covers me, and Jax’s appreciative gaze makes my insides tremble as he says, “But we’ll talk about that later.” He reaches for my hand, and I notice his touch is no longer hot as he says, “I can’t believe you took a bullet for me.”
I recall how Jax came back for me and stood up to Matt and Sean. I say, “You would have done the same for me.”
“I would, but you surprised me. I mean...”
He sighs as I shake my head. “I know. I came here to kill you and--”
“Now you’re bonded to me for life.”
I gasp. “Did you just talk to me in my head?”
Jax smiles. “I did. You can do the same. Try it.”
“Wow. Can we do this with everyone?”
“No. Only your bonded mate and the alpha.”
I imagine Drake would love to know this little fact. Oh no. “What happened to Sean and Matt?”
Jax’s face falls, and I hold up my hand as I close my eyes for a second. He says, “Sasha, I’m sorry. I hate that they died, but we had no choice.”
I look at him and say, “I know. Sean and Matt weren’t going to leave here until they’d killed their targets.” I notice the pain in my mate’s eyes. It confuses me that he cares about his enemy’s death. “Jax, that’s the way this works.”
“I know. But I don’t have to like it.” The mattress sinks next to me as he climbs on the bed to sit by my side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders as I snuggle against his chest, and he asks, “Are you upset that I changed you into the last thing you ever wanted to be?”
It’s true that becoming a werebear is not anything I’ve ever wanted, but I know Jax changed me so I wouldn’t die. And at the moment I’m not sure how I feel about it yet, because I’m trying to process that I’m really alive. I gaze up at my mate with a smile. “Next to last thing. The last thing would be dead.”
My heartbeat quickens, though, and I glance down at my body to see if I can notice a difference. I don’t see any changes, and I sigh in relief. At least nobody will be able to tell what I am. I recall Jax saying this town is full of werebear. And even if I hadn’t changed, after what happened there is no way I can return to the Eradicators. I say, “I believe you’re stuck with me for life, Jax.”
“Yeah. And that doesn’t suck.” Jax’s finger is firm under my chin as he lifts my face and kisses me tenderly. I marvel at how soft his lips are against mine. And for a moment nothing else matters, because the thought of spending the rest of my life with Jax makes me believe everything will be okay. Suddenly all I need is my mate, and I steal his breath as if I can stockpile this feeling while I deepen our kiss.
Jax breaks us apart and says, “You need to finish healing, but when you’re ready I’m going to show you just how amazing our senses are.”
I already have a clue, because the aroma of beef is as strong as if the grill were in the room, and I ask, “Do I smell hamburgers?” My stomach growls loudly, and I realize I’m ravenous.
Jax grins. “You’re about to have a new love affair with food. Let’s get you cleaned up.”
He gets out of the bed and walks to the bathroom. I maneuver my legs over the side of the mattress to get up, and even the way cotton rubs against the skin under my thighs is noticeable. Water thunders into the tub as Jax returns. He helps me stand and holds my arm as we walk to the bathroom.
While I’m definitely sore, I can’t believe I can move like this after a nearly fatal gunshot wound, and I ask, “Did this morning really happen? How can I be walking?”
“You mean yesterday morning, and yes, you really did take a bullet for me.”
I stop and stare at him. I was trained to look out for number one, and getting between Sean and Jax wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction I learned. It must have been our true mate bond. “Jax.” He gazes at me with concern, and I smile as I realize my destiny really is with him. I say, “I’d do it again.”
The water is deliciously hot when Jax helps me sink into it. He leaves me with the promise of bringing me food when I’m done.
I lean my head back and revel in the warmth of the water as it soothes my aching limbs. My body was developed to be a killing machine, and it can now transform into a fierce animal. While I never wanted to be a werebear, it’s always been part of my genetic code, and I have no choice but to accept it. The more I discover what that means, the more I realize I’ve been living in a world based on lies that are either meant to mislead or are born from ignorance. Because the werebear I love is neither vicious nor evil. Jax is kinder than the humans I know and is proof that werebear are empathetic beings. It makes me wonder if perhaps both races can find a way to live in peace.
Water trickles as I lift my hand and flash to the things I saw during my change. I picture the large paws and long claws that were my hands. I’m more powerful now than I ever dreamed I could be. Tori wants me to be a warrior, and I think perhaps my destiny is more than being Jax’s true mate. I wonder if maybe I’m meant for far more.
12
After Jax brought me dinner my energy came back, and he informed me that Tori wanted to talk to me. I hope it’s about my place in the clan. Now that I’m a werebear I need her to understand I’m not a threat, I’m an asset. The past day’s events have made me realize I miss living in a world of emotions and love. I had that as a child before my parents became enamored with the Eradicators, and now that I’m experiencing it again, I’m questioning everything I’ve known for the past decade.
The male-dominated mentality of the Eradicators has always bothered me, but I was able to handle the need for no close ties, and the cold, calculated thinking required of an assassin. I was one of the best marksmen and enjoyed a heightened status because of it. But the reality is, I can’t kill without just cause. And while I fear my hardened heart may take time to soften to others beyond my true mate, I believe I will find my way back.
Jax leads me down the stairs by my hand, and my palm is damp with sweat like the last time I was called to speak to the alpha. He says, “Don’t be nervous. Tori is happy you’ve joined us.”
I squeeze his fingers as I recall a conversation I overheard between Jax and Tori during my change. I say, “She’s just happy you’re mated and will bring more children to the Veilleux clan.”
“You heard us?”
Jax said he couldn’t wait to be a father. The idea of having his baby makes me smile. “I did.”
He stops and turns to face me. Because he’s one stair down we’re eye level. He asks, “How do you feel about that?”
I smile as I contemplate being a mother. I surprise myself with the longing I feel, because a family wasn’t something I’d considered once I was chosen to be an assassin. “I like it.” I quickly add, “I’m not in a rush or anything, but yes, someday I do want to have children with you.”
Jax’s lips are soft on mine as he kisses me quickly and says, “Whenever you’re ready, say the word. I can’t wait to give my best effort for the cause.” He winks at me and turns forward to continue our descent.
When we get into Tori’s study she walks over and opens her arms to me. My werebear nose takes in her natural scent as if it’s perfume I’d associate with a close friend. We embrace, and she says, “Welcome to the Veilleux clan, Sasha. I’m honored to have you join us.”
When we step away from each other I say, “Thank you for being so welcoming. I know it might be hard to trust me, but I assure you, I plan to prove my worth.”
We move to the couches, and the leather is slick on my hand when I brace my sore body and lower myself to sit. Tori asks, “How do you feel about leaving the Eradicators?”
The tone of her voice is stern and deep, and I think she just asserted her alpha power over me, because I offer more than I planned to say. “I believe they are the real enemy, and I’m struggling wi
th the way I blindly followed them for so long.”
“I suspect they have cult-like mechanisms in place to keep you from wondering why things are done. But you can tell me more about your upbringing later. I want to talk to you about what you’ve been trained to do.”
“I’ve been trained to kill, but if I were good at it, I wouldn’t be here.” The older woman I remember from before seems to appear out of thin air and hands me a glass of water.
“Perhaps you have a conscience, Sasha. I watched your fight to live through the change after a gunshot injured you badly enough that even as a werebear you shouldn’t have lived. You definitely have a warrior spirit.”
I sip my drink, and cool liquid slides down my throat as I glance at Jax and recall how I reacted to save him. The truth is I do like the fight. “I think so too. Jax said you’d like me to be one of your warriors.”
“I would.” Tori leans forward a bit and says, “If you find it’s not working out, we’ll try something else.”
I nod. “I can also offer a lot of insight into how the Eradicators and other hunter groups operate. Would that be of value to you?”
“Definitely.” Tori smiles with what I think is genuine warmth, and she changes the subject. “Tomorrow you’ll feel much better, and Jax should take you out for your first shift.” She sighs. “Goodness, it wasn’t that long ago that I changed, and I can remember how awesome all of this is. Enjoy it. We’ve been blessed with an amazing ability.”
“I will,” I say as Jax nudges my thigh with his, and I think about the fact that being a werebear is more like an amazing ability than the curse I thought when I first found out what I was.
Tori begins to relay stories of funny things that happened when she first changed, and her husband, Keith, comes in to join us. We spend time laughing and talking as we become friends.
