I grinned.
“How’s your heart rate? You breathing okay? Does it feel hot in here? Answer all those truthfully, and then I’ll be more than happy to answer your question.”
If looks could fucking kill, Meela Davis would have found a way to get away with murder.
“Come on, Meela, I dare you,” I said, cocking my head in her direction.
She was seething when she turned on her heel and headed for the door. Well, that was fun.
“Meela?” I stopped her.
“What?” she managed to get out without turning around. Damn. She kept her hand on the door, so she could make a quick getaway.
“You said someone was here for me? Or was that just an excuse to see me naked?” I grinned on the outside this time when she took a deep, calming breath.
She turned her head toward me, but her eyes never left mine. There was no longer any anger remaining in her eyes, even though she wasn’t really angry with me. She smiled, and it was calculated, smug almost.
“Your mother’s here,” she said, her voice dripping with enough sweetness to rot a tooth.
She was gone before I could say anything, except I had no words as I stood there naked and numb.
It had taken me exactly eight minutes to pick my jaw up off the floor, two minutes to throw some clothes on, and six minutes to stare at my reflection in the mirror while I talked myself out of escaping through the bathroom window.
Leaving my bedroom, I felt like I was walking death row as I moved down the hallway. I wish I was just being dramatic, but knowing I was about to come face to face with my mother, who I hadn’t seen in five years, felt exactly like that.
As I reached the end of the hallway, I heard her voice, and the memory of the last time I’d seen or even spoken to my mother was like a ton of bricks. The fucking weight of that day was something I didn’t want on my shoulders now or ever, and I wish she hadn’t worked up the courage to see me.
If I knew my mother, coming to see me wasn’t something that had come easy for her, which was oddly comforting. She was dead wrong if she thought I would make this even the slightest bit easy.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Pierce. Reed hasn’t had the chance to tell me much about his family.”
My mother smiled sadly, knowing Meela was putting it kindly because we both knew lack of time had nothing to do with my unwillingness to discuss my family.
I stepped into the living room, and my mom looked up from the coffee cup in her hand, spotting me. So many emotions swam in her matching green eyes. Sadness, regret … hope.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the edge out of my tone.
Meela, who had been sitting with her back to me, stiffened and turned to look at me with confusion in her eyes.
“Reed?” Her tone was confused and hesitant.
“I heard you were back in town. I wanted to see my son.”
So we were going to start the first conversation in five years off with a lie. She hadn’t heard anything. She was told.
“Heard? But I thought …” Meela trailed off, her focus moving back and forth between my mother and me, realizing she wasn’t really being heard.
Without another word, she was gone from my line of view, and without her there, the room felt smaller.
“Shouldn’t that have been my choice? You already made yours years ago.”
She set her coffee cup down and stood, smoothing out her cream-colored designer skirt. “Your words, Reed. Years ago.”
“There isn’t an expiration date on betrayal, Mother. You can’t take it back now.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes, and it was like we’d transported back five years in time. She’d given me that same look as I ignored her while throwing my shit in the back of my beat-up pickup truck. I hadn’t given her or my father further time to explain their reasoning behind choosing to stand by my brother and girlfriend of four years as they confessed how they’d fallen in love with each other over the summer I’d spent interning.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
I smacked my forehead with my palm, and the crack of laughter was heavy and thick with sarcasm.
“Well, not all is forgiven.”
“At the time, you were building your life around you, Reed, as you should have been. She knew that, and—”
“Don’t,” I said, the word coming out like the snap of a whip, and she flinched. “Don’t speak for her, and for fuck’s sake, don’t speak for him either.”
She nodded, clasping her hands together. “Fine. I’ll speak for myself then when I say how much I’ve missed you, Reed.” She looked around, her eyes moving over the room. “Meela seems nice,” she adds when I don’t respond to her first statement. “Have you two been seeing each other long?”
“You can’t come here after all this time and ask me about my life as if nothing happened. The life you claim I was building, it did include her, but it was easier for all of you to say otherwise. But this life I’ve built now, it doesn’t include any of you.”
She nodded, turning her head toward the kitchen and wiping at the tears that had managed to slip free. Her hand froze, and then she was looking at me again, and I knew she saw it.
“How far along is she?”
My jaw clenched, but I answered her. “Six months.”
“Do you know what you’re having yet?”
“No,” I told her, telling myself I was only answering her questions so I could get her out of here faster.
“I’d be happy with either,” she said with a sad smile I didn’t return. I wasn’t going to give her false hope. “I’m so happy for you, Reed.”
“You should go, Mother.”
She took a deep breath and nodded, swallowing her sadness. “Okay. Will you tell Meela it was a pleasure to meet her?”
I gave a quick nod.
She turned as if to move toward the door but then stopped. “You can hate me forever, Reed, but if you think there is any possibility you could forgive me, I will do anything. I want to know all my grandchildren. Will you tell me when Meela has the baby, Reed?”
I wanted to say fuck no, but even I knew I wasn’t that much of an asshole. As much as I wanted to keep my parents away from my daughter, the phrase sucked the air from my body, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.
“I need time to think,” I said.
“Fair enough.” With nothing left to say, she picked up her handbag and clutched it until her knuckles turned white. “Goodbye, Reed.”
I stood in the living room alone, long after my mother had left, trying to process everything that had just taken place. The last person I had suspected to see here was my mother, but I should have known it was only a matter of time after my run-ins with Nicole. Seeing them both after everything that had gone down was like taking a bullet.
I made a beeline straight for the liquor I’d hidden in the cabinet above the fridge. Not that I needed to hide it from Meela, but I did it more out of consideration than anything else. Pulling the bottle of Jack down, I pulled the top off, taking a long swig. I flexed my jaw as the burning liquid made its way down to the empty pit in my stomach.
“Are you okay?” Meela’s voice was cautious as she stood behind me. I hadn’t even heard her come into the room, much less move up behind me.
“What do you care, Meela? You’ve made it perfectly clear where you and I stand.”
I took another longer drink this time. I couldn’t control the steamroll of emotions I was feeling right now. I was angry and furious my mother had shown up, and Meela was the only one here for me to take my anger out on. I’d rather fuck her—a good one was definitely a way to release all this pent-up sexual frustration that had already been brewing under the surface of my anger.
“I’m here if you want to talk, Reed.”
I turned on her, catching her off guard as my hand flew out and grabbed her arm just above her elbow, pulling her to me. Her body folded into mine with a sigh, and she sw
allowed hard when her eyes found mine.
I was breathing hard, as if I’d just run a marathon, but I couldn’t seem to even them out. The smell of alcohol filled my nostrils, washing over Meela’s face with each pant. She didn’t seem to care, and I probably imagined it, but I was almost sure she’d breathed in deeper.
“The only thing I want from you, Meela, is a good hard fuck. And if you still want to talk, there will be plenty of words while I whisper all the dirty fucking things I want to do to you. You up for that, sweetheart?”
“I’m sorry her coming here upset you. If I had known, I would have never let her in.”
“Stop it, Meela,” I growled through clench teeth. The words sounded gritty and hard.
She put her hand on my chest. Almost as if she was trying to tame the wild beating inside my chest. Her touched made me ache, and I wanted to drag her hand down between our bodies until her fingers wrapped tightly around my cock, soothing the throbbing there.
“What happened, Reed?”
Letting go of her arm, I pushed her away from me. She stumbled back two steps, bracing herself on the island of the kitchen behind her.
“None of your goddamn business, Meela.”
Sidestepping her, I snatched the bottle of Jack off the counter and didn’t stop until I was back in my room. As I finished off the bottle, I realized it was still morning, but I didn’t give one fuck. I took another cold shower because despite being angry with Meela, that still didn’t stop my fucking cock from wanting her.
During the next week, Meela and I managed to steer clear of each other during the few hours we were at home at the same time. It took all my self-control not to text her during the day to see how she was feeling or if she’d had a chance to eat.
Meela was carrying my child, but she wanted to pretend like that didn’t change anything between us, so for now, I would go along with it. I managed to keep myself busy at the office during the day, so I wouldn’t think about her too much. I worked late, drank even later, and spent most of my nights listening to David lecture me about not being at home.
I was giving Meela exactly what she thought she wanted.
Twenty Eight
Meela
It had been a week since Reed’s mother showed up, turning everything inside out.
I still had no idea what had happened between Reed and his mother, and he had no interest in filling me in either. Not that I had any right to complain. Reed’s cold shoulder was part of my demands to follow the damn rules, and for the past five days, that was exactly what he was doing.
No more routine and no more texts except for the ones he sent like clockwork every night at seven.
“Uh, oh. What’s that face for?”
I blinked, bringing the room into focus and finding the familiar voice. Marie, a woman I’d met at my last doctor’s appointment, was lowering herself into the empty seat next to me. I smiled at her and tried to shake Reed from my thoughts.
“No face. I was just lost in thought. How are you?”
“Blah,” she said, making a face. “I’m fat and tired.”
“I’ve always heard the phrase ‘you’re not fat, you’re pregnant.’”
“That’s what non-pregnant woman say, and it’s crap. I feel fat.”
“Well, I think you look good,” I told her, meaning it.
“You’re kind, but thank you.”
She was an attractive woman, and I really did think she held that pregnancy glow like Carrie did. Her hair was two shades darker than mine was, but the gold strands stood out against the darker one. Her hazel eyes sparkled, and her skin looked perfectly sun-kissed.
She couldn’t look blah if she tried.
I, on the other hand, felt like shit. I was working so much that I was exhausted by the time I got home, and I just wanted to crawl into bed. Getting ready for work was starting to become impossible when all my skirts and shirts were snug. I would need to go maternity shopping soon.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked again, studying my profile.
I shrugged, fidgeting in my seat. “I’m fine. Being pregnant is exhausting.”
She laughed. “It sure the hell is. None of my friends mentioned that before I got pregnant. They just went on about how much sex,” she whispered the word, “they wanted.”
I laughed this time. “Well, lucky them.”
“Right? I guess I’m jealous.”
I frowned. “Why’s that?”
Sadness darkened her hazel eyes. “My husband and I separated right before I found out I was pregnant.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
She pushed the side of her fingers into the bottom of her eyelids to keep the tears and bay, and I felt for her.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to unload on you.”
“You’re fine. Does he know about the baby now?”
“Yes, and we’re trying to work things out. I’m hoping for the best but expecting the worst. We weren’t doing so great, and this baby was definitely not planned,” she said with a sigh, but her fingers moved over her belly lovingly.
“Well, I can relate to you there.” I looked down at my stomach, but I didn’t touch it.
There was a small and somewhat noticeable bump, but I didn’t find myself obsessing over it or wanting to touch it all the time. It made me feel crappy.
“Your pregnancy wasn’t planned?”
“Not at all. I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted kids at all.” That wasn’t sure, but I didn’t think a complete stranger needed to know how anti-kids I had been before getting knocked up.
“Did your husband?”
“We’re not married. The father and I … well, let’s just say it’s complicated.”
“I can understand complicated. I love my husband, but there is a friend, he’s been helping me recently, and it’s making things complicated.”
My phone went off before I could respond, and I looked down at my hands. The screen lit up with his name, and my heart sunk. I knew exactly why he was texting me. It had been the same text every night this last week. I swiped across my phone and clicked on his message.
Reed: I’m going out again, tonight.
I hit reply, my thumb hovering over the keyboard as I contemplated my response. Reed’s words lingered in the back of my mind where I’d tried to stuff them away, but they stood out like neon lights.
Is that what you really want? Me fucking a different woman every night so you can hide the fact that you secretly wish it was you beneath me?
He was wrong.
I wasn’t hiding or pretending. My hormones were a mess, which heightened everything, even my sex drive. It had nothing to do with Reed. I would probably want sex with anyone at this point.
I swiped out a snarky response really quick.
Four words.
“Did you just get a booty call text?” Marie said, bringing me out of my inner musing. My head swerved to face her.
“What?” I balked, and she laughed.
“Your cheeks got all flushed, and I’m pretty sure that’s lust I see in your eyes. Who were you thinking about? Your baby daddy?”
I really disliked it when someone referred to Reed as my baby daddy, and I really hated the word lust.
“Actually, yes, but no, it wasn’t a booty text.”
“So it was a bad text?”
I sighed, still staring down my typed out, unsent response.
“I’m sorry. I’m prying.”
“Oh no, you’re fine. I don’t know what it is. Our existence is complicated. He wants more, and I …”
“Don’t know what you want?”
I looked at her, wishing it was that simple. Yes, not knowing what I wanted would be so much simpler than what I was feeling now.
“We have these rules. We’re not together, and we’re supposed to see other people.”
“And he’s not?”
I shook my head. “No, he is.”
A different woman every night, but I didn’t say that out loud. I w
as already sharing more than I ever thought I would with someone who was still very much a stranger.
“So why aren’t you?”
It should have surprised me when she guessed I wasn’t, but somehow, it didn’t.
“Even before I got … pregnant, I wasn’t much of a dater. The father and I, it was a one-night stand and something I never did.”
“You don’t have to start dating, but you can go out with friends. Don’t sit at home while he’s out having a good time. It’ll drive you crazy. Plus, it’ll show him you really want him to move on and do his own thing.”
What she said made sense.
He wasn’t going to give up the illusion that I wanted him until I showed him that I didn’t. The dating rule had been more for Reed than for me, but if he thought I was seeing someone, he would finally have to face the fact that it was all in his head and I didn’t want anything more than what we had.
Going out was definitely what I needed. I wanted to get out of that house and show Reed I wasn’t sitting around pining after him while he was out doing whatever he was doing with whoever he was doing it with.
I hit send.
Twenty Nine
Reed
I stared down at my phone.
Me too. Have fun.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I growled out loud, and the sound seemed to echo through my office.
Two PAs had been walking by my open door, and they jumped, looking inside before scurrying away when they spotted my scowl.
Getting up and moving around my desk, I slammed the door to my office shut. I was rewarded with several curious glances, including a what the fuck look from David. He was on the phone, and that meant I was spared from him coming over here for the time being.
I hadn’t told David shit about Meela and her fucking bullshit rules, and I had no plans on telling him either. There was no way he would understand. Hell, I didn’t even understand them, but that hadn’t stopped me from putting on the perfect show.
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