“Why should they scare you?”
She looked at him, wishing for a moment he could see that she had insecurities too. “I worry that’s the only way you know how to treat things that are important to you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with taking care of my possessions.”
“You’re right. But I don’t like feeling like one. If you put me on a shelf, I won’t stay there. I’m your girlfriend. I want you to play with me. Show me I’m wanted and you have more to give me than business advice. Otherwise, I feel meaningless.”
The color washed from his features as he blinked at her. “I… I don’t see you as my possession.”
“Then what do you see me as?” She took his hand and pressed it to her chest where her heart pounded. She knew she was putting it all out there but felt if she didn’t do it now, the distance between them would only grow until they could no longer reach each other.
“I’m as human as you are, Elliot. I like to feel you next to me. My skin hungers for contact and I want to be touched. When I kiss you and you push me away, I don’t know how to interpret that.”
His brow pinched as he blinked at her. “I didn’t realize… Damn it, Nadia, if you think I don’t want you, you’re crazy. I can barely breathe for wanting you. But I’m trying to be a gentleman. I’m not going to just ravish you like some caveman every time we’re together.”
“Why not? If that’s what you want, then do it. Maybe I want you to.”
His Adam’s apple shifted as he swallowed, drawing her attention to his perfectly knotted tie. “I don’t like craving things outside of my control. When people rely on others too much they end up disappointed, because a sense of entitlement takes over, but eventually ... people change their minds.”
“I see.”
“You have to understand that this isn’t normal for me. You’re the first woman to ever look at me like I’m worth anything—me, not my home or my assets. I’ve never gotten anything I wanted in this world without analyzing every possible outcome. And no matter which way I look at it, the probability of a woman like you falling for a man like me doesn’t add up. The minute I lose my head, stop playing it safe, something will shift. I want you too much to get distracted and mess this up.”
“Mess this up? Elliot, the only way we can ruin this is if we ignore our chemistry. Come at me with everything you’ve got. I want you to.”
He didn’t say anything, his eyes telling her how little he believed her. What could have happened to this man to make him so distrusting of others?
“You don’t believe me.”
He glanced away. “Women like you don’t—”
“Women like me—what does that even mean? I am me and there is no other.” She grabbed his jaw and turned his face so he looked her in the eye. “I am telling you that I love you, Elliot. I do not say those words easily. And my feelings are not because of your financial stability or anything else you want to blame. It’s you I care about, you who attracts me, not your money or house or the way you look. You could have asked me out a year ago, Elliot, and I would have accepted, because I find you incredibly attractive, but I would have quickly learned how different you are from other men. There is no hiding how special you are. Why do you believe you are somehow less than the rest of the men out there when you’re so much more? Why can’t you see what I see?”
His expression was unreadable. “Trust me, Nadia, I see exactly who I am.”
Her heart pinched as she realized how much she overestimated his confidence. Perhaps she’d even overestimated his affection for her, but his reserve did nothing to diminish her feelings for him. Everything she’d said had been true. Stepping close to him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his strong shoulder.
“I love you, Elliot. Because you are sweet and gentle and honest to a fault when you actually tell me what’s going on in your head. You don’t have to hide yourself from me or be some sort of savior in order for me to love you. I want to know all of you, the real you. I’m sorry if my curiosity came off as judgmental. I would never judge you because you have yet to judge me and there’s plenty to criticize.”
His arms slowly closed around her and squeezed. “I’m sorry for getting defensive. I don’t want to lose you. I’ll figure out how to do this, but it’s going to take some time.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He let out a deep breath. “You have to be patient with me. I’m not someone who hurries things and I hate feeling like I’m being rushed, especially when it’s something important to me.”
“Learning curve.”
He chuckled. “Right. A learning curve.”
The walls that protected him were thick and reinforced by time. “I can be patient so long as you remember you are not a pest and passion shouldn’t be controlled.” She stroked his tie. “You have to let it out or it will eat you up inside. Don’t hide your desires from me. I want the whole you.”
His breathing labored as his face pinched and he seemed to struggle to get his words out. “I’ve thought about you every day since I first met you, Nadia. The amount of passion I’m holding in is frightening.”
“Since the night you brought me here?”
“No. Since the day Asher brought me to your studio.”
“But you barely looked at me. You never said anything.”
His gaze drifted to the wall. “I figured you were taken.”
She pulled his chin back to hers and brushed his lips with her mouth. “I would have gone out with you.” To think, all this time she could have been with him instead of Ian and the two before him.
He swallowed. “I dreamed of returning to your studio and telling you how I felt. I’ve had countless fantasies. But never in a million years did I think that you’d actually be with me.”
Her heart jerked at his admission, a piece of the wall shifting. Lifting her lashes, she smiled into his eyes. “Did you touch yourself when you had fantasies about me?”
His jaw twitched as color stole across his cheeks.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” She smiled. “You’re a living, breathing, red-blooded man, Elliot. Stop pretending you’re above carnality. Give in. Take what you want. You don’t have to fantasize anymore. Be yourself. That’s the man I want in my bed.”
He glanced at her over the rims of his glasses. “You’re sure.”
“Positive.”
“Now?”
She shrugged. “If that was our first argument, maybe we should make up.”
His hand caught the back of her neck, tipping her head to the side as his mouth sealed over hers. He gripped her hip, backing her to the wall as his tongue pierced her lips.
Rising to her toes, she dropped her clothing and met his passion with her own. “Yes, take what you want,” she rasped as his mouth worked down her throat, his hands stripping her bra to her waist.
He kissed her deeply, his hand gripping her breast as his other hand cupped her sex through her panties. She moaned, grateful to finally see his control slide.
“I want you,” he growled into her mouth. “So much I can hardly think straight.”
She cupped him, stroking his engorged flesh through his pants. “Take me.”
His hand wedged into the front of her panties, delving into her sex and she gasped.
“You wear too many clothes.” She jerked at his tie, loosening the knot as his fingers grazed her clit.
She ripped open his shirt and buttons went pinging across the floor. “Sorry.”
He growled, his lips and teeth scraping down her shoulder as his finger surged deep and her body pressed into the wall.
“More.”
He fingered her harder, his mouth dropping to her breast as he sucked her nipple between his lips. He switched to her other breast as his fingers worked her into a frenzy of pleasure.
Her focus somehow dropped to his belt, unfastening the leather and pulling it free with a hiss and a snap. She caught his scorching flesh in her palm, cur
ling her fingers around his thickness and stroked hard.
“I want to be inside of you,” he hissed, removing his fingers and staggering back.
Pressed against the wall, her breath caught as she stared at him, shirt gaping, chest heaving, eyes wild as his thick cock pushed hard against the elastic of his briefs. She licked her dry lips.
“Condom.”
Reaching for his wallet, he quickly withdrew a condom and tossed his wallet to the floor. He sheathed himself and crowded her against the wall. “Is this okay?”
“Don’t ask. Just do.”
He glanced down, left, right, and back to her. “Turn around.”
She twisted so she faced the wall, her body desperate to feel him inside of her. Angling her body, she quivered as he stepped close, lining up his cock with her sex.
His hands caught her hips, hitching her posture in a way that gave him easier access and he plunged into her. His fullness stretched her and she contracted around his length. Her palms slid up the wall, her nails digging into the expensive wallpaper as he thrust again.
“God, you’re amazing,” he growled, thrusting harder.
“Don’t stop!” He was so deep, so possessive. This was the side of him she wanted, so unrefined, disheveled, and raw.
His hands released her hips and gripped her breasts, pulling tightly as he rammed into her, driving her up on her toes. He pinched her nipples, lowering his other hand to her pussy and teasing her clit. She keened breathily as pleasure knifed through her, her knees trembling.
A wave of ecstasy stole through her and she was coming. He fucked her harder, confessing a litany of naughty demands.
“I want to fuck you every hour of the day. I want your scent all over me. Mine all over you. You’re like an addiction I need to feed and I’m tired of fighting it.”
Her mind short-circuited as one orgasm folded into another. She wanted all of those things, too.
“I want to be everything you need. I want to know all your desires and make them realities. I want to make you happier than any other man ever has.”
She surged forward as he pumped his hips hard, his flesh smacking deliciously with hers. He caught her at the waist, thrusting deep and groaned, his body shaking with a shiver behind her, his release escaping with a guttural moan laced with the relief of finally letting go.
They panted in the silent hallway, a sense of liberation blanketing her. He took a staggering step back and her body quivered as his support eased. She glanced over her shoulder and he looked away.
“Sorry. I don’t know—”
She twisted and caught his face between her hands. “You do not apologize for that, Elliot. That was passion, and I’m glad to see you have so much.” She kissed him hard and felt his tension ease as his arms gently wrapped around her.
Pulling back, she whispered, “I love you. I loved that. Don’t you dare hide that side of yourself from me, do you understand?”
He nodded tightly. His clothes were a mess. His shirt was ripped, his tie was undone, and his part obliterated. “I didn’t know women ... liked… You’re sure I wasn’t too rough with you?”
She smiled and arched a brow. “It shouldn’t matter what women like, only what your woman likes. I like when you take control and I like when you lose it. Don’t be ashamed of your desires. I want to know all of them.”
His head lifted and something heady flashed in his eyes. It was as if her words unleashed a part of him he’d kept tethered for far too long, the metaphorical leash fraying with each praising word she spoke. Maybe if she encouraged him enough, that tie he kept fastened around his control would snap.
“Don’t be afraid to tell me what you want, Elliot. It might surprise you the things I’d do to see you happy.”
His hand caught her neck, his thumb brushing possessively over her jaw. “I want you to sleep in my bed.”
Rising to her toes, she kissed him. “You’re very sexy when you’re direct. But I already told you I wasn’t letting you go tonight. Take me to bed, Mister Caveman.”
Chapter Nineteen
“If I had to choose a superhero to be, I would pick Superman. He's everything that I'm not.”
~Stephen Hawking
Elliot awoke just as the sky faded from sapphire to vibrant shades of gold, Nadia’s warm body curled into his side. Last night, the things she said struck a nerve. At first, he thought she was making fun of him, but then he understood her point. He’d made a habit of collecting treasures but never allowed himself the pleasure of actually touching all he’d accumulated over the years.
It was scary, giving up the manageable control he’d ensured after years of having none, but he wanted to prove to her that he could satisfy all her needs better than any other man. Urgency thrummed in his veins to demonstrate his virility every second she was within reach.
Part of him wanted to go into the spare room and rip open his Masters of the Universe Eternia Set, the Holy Grail of He-Man collectibles. But another part, the part that understood how infinite loneliness could be, shuddered at the thought.
Too many negative experiences from his past warned how dangerous it was to trust in others. Something always drove them away in the end. But maybe Nadia truly was different. Baby steps.
She seemed to truly want to know him and she promised not to judge the secrets he shared. He didn’t know a life without judgment, nor had he ever met a person above judging others. Even he could be over critical of others at times.
Glancing at the stunning woman beside him, a wealth of thick, black hair fanning across his arm, he was filled with a surreal sense of possibility. Last night had been immeasurably liberating. So much pent-up desire burst from him and she hardly flinched when he showed her how desperately he wanted to possess her. The things he’d said, secrets he never dreamed of uttering, she greeted each confession with what seemed like genuine acceptance.
Though he’d entertained countless fantasies about her, each one the epitome of perfection, he much preferred the reality. Past her beautiful exterior, she was messy, stubborn, and exceedingly difficult at times. If those were her flaws, he was more than happy to accept them. That was the real her, not some fantasy he’d concocted in his mind.
He laughed to himself. She’s real. This is really happening. He wondered if he’d ever come to terms with the surreal happiness filling him.
She made him step outside of his comfort zone. When Roland grabbed her, he saw red and the next thing he knew the son of a bitch was pummeling him. Yet, for some reason, those bruises felt different from all the others he’d earned over the years. He didn’t care that his face was still sore and his lip still hurt. He was damn proud of those pains because he hadn’t run away. He’d run to her defense and that was exactly the man he wanted to be, always there when she needed him. A hero.
She was worth every scrape and bruise. She was his girlfriend and no man would touch her so long as he breathed. That’s how true heroes behaved. They weren’t fearless, but they had the courage to act in the face of fear. Roland had terrified him, but Elliot hadn’t balked.
Mine. The word rolled through his mind like a rumble of thunder. His body thickened as he again admired her naked form curled into his side. When was she going to wake up? Would he get to be with her again before work?
Take control…
Easing the blankets off of her body, he watched as her nipple pebbled against the cool air. He shifted, rolling her onto her back, still asleep. He glanced at the nightstand, mentally counting the condoms he had left in the drawer. He needed to buy more.
That’s a new item for the shopping list. He chuckled silently.
Her arms rested on the pillows, her body stretched before him. He pulled back the sheet where it lay over her hips and his mouth went dry. Would she be upset if he touched her?
He ghosted a finger up her thigh and she sighed, her legs slightly shifting. “Nadia, are you awake?”
Nothing.
He traced a finger over her flat belly, c
ircling the jade piercing, and she hummed in her sleep, her nipples pebbling tighter. Gently moving her legs, he kneeled between them and leaned over her, licking at the tip of her breast. When she didn’t respond he licked the other one. His lips closed over the tip and he sucked gently, his body slowly rocking over hers.
She inhaled on a moan and arched into him. He raised his head, feeling like a kid caught with his fist in the cookie jar. “Did I wake you?”
“Yes, but it’s a nice way to be woken up.”
He nuzzled her throat, kissing her soft skin, his erection dragging heavily against her thigh. “I want you.”
“I’m yours.”
There had never more magical words. He slid lower, spreading kisses over her ribs and stomach until he was exactly where he wanted to be. Gently parting her folds, he teased her and she moaned softly. The scent of her arousal crawled into him and he tasted her heaven.
She mumbled something in Hungarian he interpreted as praise as her limbs stretched to give him easier access. Feeding his fingers inside of her, he took exactly what he wanted.
“There,” she gasped as he thrust deeper.
He glanced up at her in question. “This?”
“Right where you just touched. Do it again.”
Retracing his steps, he pressed his fingers deep. “Here?”
She moaned, her back arching into the pillows. “Yes. Right there.”
He focused on that area, penetrating slowly. She sucked in an audible breath, her cries finding a quick rhythm and suddenly she was trembling beneath him, calling out his name.
Every time was more beautiful than the last. He reached for the condom and her legs opened in invitation. Lining his body up with hers, he entered her slowly and they both groaned in pleasure.
She held his stare as he rocked into her, her eyes replete and her cheeks flushed. Her beauty was staggering at times, especially when they shared such an intimate connection.
“You’re so beautiful,” he told her, stealing a kiss. She never showed much response when he complimented her beauty, but he couldn’t hold back the words. Everything about her emanated sexiness. Even a blind man would find her stunning.
Untied: A Mastermind Novel Page 21
