by Suzy Shearer
Tobias’s father rang at ten to say he’d heard the bridge would be open tomorrow, after the peak, unless there was more rain. The sun had finally shone and the forecast predicted clear weather for the next few days.
By quarter past eleven, Tobias was back at the hospital after calling into a local department store for a pack of underwear and a couple of T-shirts. He sat down beside Laura, wanting to scream and shout, to throw things around. Seeing her lying there still except for the rise and fall of her chest as the tube helped her breathe made him feel so useless.
He kept telling her she had to get well, that he couldn’t live without her, that she was his life. On and on his litany continued until around twelve-fifteen when Gino arrived. The two men could only sit and watch her, they both felt powerless. Several times staff came in and checked on her. They couldn’t tell the men anything new—it was just a waiting game.
After they all spent the night at Julian’s again, the next day followed the same pattern with Tobias arriving at ten. Around six a doctor came in and asked them to leave while they removed the tube assisting her breathing. The drugs keeping her under sedation had been gradually lowered during the afternoon and she was expected to wake early the next morning. When they came back in Tobias asked if they could come in a little earlier the next morning.
“I see no reason not to, just remember to wash and put on a clean gown whenever you enter the room. I’ll let the nursing staff know you can come in early. It will assist her to see familiar faces. We expect her to be awake by seven or eight.”
“Thank you.”
Warningly, he asked, “Have you been told about concerns for her brain?”
“Yes, we understand,” Gino answered for them both, Tobias still not wanting to accept the chance of any problem.
“Good. She’ll have another scan early in the morning to check on things.”
Tobias rang his father to find out about the bridge and was relieved to know it had reopened at five. He let Gino know as the two men left, Gino telling Tobias he would meet him in Laura’s room in the morning. Tobias rang Julian and told him he would go home, filling him in on what was happening.
It felt good to sleep in his own bed. His father had made a meal for them both and Tobias forced himself to eat. By ten he knew it was useless to try and stay awake any longer. Next morning he was up at six-thirty. While he was making coffee his father came in from the guest house.
“Make sure you ring me and let me know how she is,” he implored.
“Don’t worry, Dad, I promise I will.”
Conall patted him on the shoulder.
“We’ll have her home with us soon, son, try not to worry.”
“I can’t help it, she means the world to me.”
“I know, Toby, I know.” He rubbed his eyes, a tear trickling down his cheek. “She means a lot to me, too.”
“I still can’t take it all in. I keep thinking this is some nightmare and I’m going to wake up. I keep dreaming the same thing over and over again.” He looked at his father. “But it’s not, is it?”
Conall shook his head sadly.
“I wish it was, son, I wish it was.”
The two men hugged, shared their tears then Tobias kissed his father goodbye and left, arriving at the hospital just after eight and meeting Gino in the car park.
“Adam’s on duty today, he’s missed a few days, but knew he should go in today.”
“At least we can get over the river now.”
The two men walked up to Laura’s room together, washed and put on paper gowns. When they arrived she was awake and two staff members were with her. Joyously, Tobias almost ran to her bedside and tried to take her hand.
“Laura, my darling! Oh, my God, we’ve been so worried.”
She kept her hand away from him and cowered against the pillows. She gave Tobias a strange look then did the same to Gino behind him.
She cocked her head, her expression one of confusion and fright as she spoke to the two men, her voice gravelly, “Who are you? I’ve never seen either of you before.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Tobias rocked back in shocked then went to her side. His heart rapidly pounded in fear as he looked at her.
“Sweetheart, it’s me, Toby, and your brother Gino.”
Laura looked at the medical staff as if asking for help as she shook her head slightly and said, “No. I don’t know you.”
Tobias felt his legs almost give way, he put out a hand to steady himself on the nearby chair. The staff gave him a look of pity as he took a deep breath. Okay they’d warned him she may have brain damage. He’d just have to explain and take things slowly.
Taking a deep breath and trying to look calm he said, “I’m your fiancé, we’ve been together for twelve months, since last October, we live in the same house. We’re getting married in December.” He added desperately, “Don’t you remember?”
She gave another tiny shake of her head and looked at Gino.
“I’m your brother, Gino.”
A tear rolled down her cheek and she looked at the doctor.
“I don’t understand. These men are strangers to me. I honestly don’t know them.”
“I warned you earlier that you had amnesia. We’re fairly confident you’ll recover your memory. Sometimes it returns after a minute or two, other times it may take hours or days or even months. Just relax and don’t try to force it.”
The doctor patted her hand then gestured for Tobias to come out into the corridor.
“She woke about a half an hour ago, but had no recollection of the accident or who she was. It’s common in traumatic brain injuries. We scanned her head again and the swelling from around the bleed is subsiding, even better there is no new bleeding activity. The good news is apart from the amnesia, there doesn’t appear to be any major concerns about her brain function.
“I understand how upsetting this must be for you, but I’m confident she’ll be fine. When she first woke she couldn’t even tell us her name. Now she’s starting to remember things and was able to give us her name about ten minutes ago. Her memory is coming back, albeit slowly.”
The two went back into the room.
Laura was looking at Gino, she pointed to him saying, “I don’t remember you, but I feel I should.”
Gino had hold of her hand gently and smiled at her.
“Don’t force it, it will come back, sis.”
She raised her face and looked at Tobias, he wanted to cry. His thoughts were chaotic as she stared at him, a blank look on her face. He never expected this in a million years.
What if she doesn’t remember me? How will I live without her?
The doctor spoke quietly to the other person, a male nurse. He left the room then returned to inject something into Laura’s IV.
“Laura you’re going to be in some pain and discomfort now that you’re awake. This afternoon we’re going to get you up but you have a damaged leg with a number of stitches down it and across your ankle, so you’ll be on crutches for maybe a week or so.”
“Okay. My stomach really hurts and so does my head. In fact, I ache everywhere,” she admitted, her voice still gravelly.
“It’s to be expected. Remember we explained what had happened, the extent of your injuries. That injection into your IV was for pain. Just rest.”
The two men left the room and Laura looked back at Tobias. He could see a tear running down her cheek. It broke his heart.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart, please don’t cry.”
“Everything hurts so bad.” She gave a sob, “I’m sorry, but I really can’t remember you, either of you.”
“You will, the doctor said don’t try and force it. May we stay?”
When she nodded, he pulled up a chair and sat on the opposite side from Gino. They exchanged worried glances.
“I can remember a storm, was it raining?” she asked.
“Yes. It was a very bad storm, lots of damage.”
They could see her fro
wn as she tried to sort through her memories.
“Dogs. Do I have dogs?”
“We share mine, two boxers.”
She slumped back against the pillow and closed her eyes. Within a few minutes she was asleep.
“Gino, what if she doesn’t get her memory back? What if she doesn’t remember me?”
Tobias couldn’t hide the desperation in his voice, what would he do if she never remembered him again? If she never fell in love with him again?
“I’m sure she will, she’s starting to remember things. What did the doctor just say?”
“Just that it was common and the swelling in her brain is going down. He said there appears to be no brain damage except for the amnesia.”
Gino nodded as if to reassure himself as much as Tobias. “Well, surely that has to be good news.”
Tobias just nodded, but the cold fear in his heart wouldn’t leave. They sat in silence for an hour or so then Gino stood and stretched.
“I’m going to grab coffee for us. Won’t be long.”
Tobias watched Laura sleep, occasionally she gave a moan of pain especially if she moved. He looked at her arms and saw all the cuts and bruises. She had stitches here, there, and it seemed, everywhere. He wondered how her stomach was and how they expected her to walk this afternoon. Gino came back with two coffees.
“I rang the others. Adam’s at the surgery finalising some paperwork, and Julian said he’d attend the meeting this afternoon in your place. Your dad said not to worry and to give her a kiss from him.”
Tobias face-palmed, saying, “Shit, I forgot all about the meeting.”
“That’s to be expected, Toby. Don’t worry. Jules has it all organised, said he’ll have your off-sider to handle things, too. Said it would be good for her to go solo.” Gino looked back at Laura and shook his head sadly. “I hate seeing her like this, it’s heartbreaking.”
“I know. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her, she means the world to me.” Tobias’s voice cracked with emotion. “I don’t think I could live without her.”
Somehow he managed not to cry. He drank the coffee tastelessly and sat staring at Laura, at the tubes, at his hands. Listening to the continual whir of the machines, he waited. Ten minutes later he looked up at Laura and saw her eyes flutter open. She moved slightly then began to sob in pain and he leaped to his feet.
“Darling, don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it, Toby, it hurts so much.”
Tobias looked at Gino in wonder, his eyebrows raised. Did she just call him Toby? Gino nodded madly, obviously thinking the same thing.
Tobias’s eyes filled with tears as he said thankfully, “I’ll call you a nurse.”
“I don’t want to trouble them,” she whispered.
“Don’t be silly, sweetheart, you don’t have to put up with pain.”
“Okay.” She looked around the room, her pale face a mask of agony. “Where’s Adam?”
The two men burst into smiles. Tobias worried his face would split in half from his huge grin.
“You remember Adam?” Tobias said excitingly.
“Of course. Oh, I do, and I remember you and Gino.” She looked tearful. “I couldn’t remember any of you this morning. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” She began to sob, “What’s wrong with me? I’m going to die, Toby, aren’t I? I’m going to die.”
“No, my dear, you aren’t going to die. You just have to get better.”
“Everything’s so mixed up in my head,” she mourned.
“You don’t remember anything from the accident?”
Shrugging a little she said, “I think there was lots of rain and a tree, then nothing until I woke here this morning.”
The male nurse came back in and Gino told him Laura was in pain. He lifted the sheet and checked her abdomen and her leg then told her he would give her more painkillers. Gino said she’d finally remembered them.
“That’s great news. Is everything clear now, Laura?”
“Mostly, just can’t remember anything except a tree coming toward me until this morning.”
“Probably a good thing. The ambulance people told us you were trapped for over an hour.”
“Hell!” she said, surprised. “What’s happened to me? I think someone told me this morning, but I can’t remember.”
The nurse, who told them his name was David, filled Laura in on her various injuries.
“And all this happened yesterday?”
“No, Laura, you’ve been in an induced coma since Wednesday afternoon when the accident happened. It’s Saturday today.”
“Oh.” She seemed to be digesting this piece of information then asked, “How long will I be in here?”
“Oh, a few more days at least, Laura. You’ve had major surgery and we have to make sure you don’t get any infections. I’m afraid you’ll have to put up with me for a while yet.”
David took the rest of her observations then told her to get some rest.
“Lunch will be here in about half an hour. Try and eat, it will help you get better, then this afternoon we’ll get you up.”
She nodded listlessly, just stared ahead at nothing. Tobias realised she must be trying to come to terms with what had happened and let her lay in silence. Her lunch arrived, and after she’d pushed the food around the plate what seemed like a few hundred times, Tobias looked at her angrily.
“Laura, you have to eat, even just a little. You won’t get better if you don’t eat. Don’t make me feed you like a little kid.”
“My throat’s sore.”
“That’s probably from the tube. Just eat the mashed potatoes, then the jelly. They will just slide down.”
Resignedly, she picked up a spoon and took a few mouthfuls of mashed potato. It must have been soothing to her because she ate the lot then the jelly. Twenty minutes later a woman came by to collect the tray.
“Not hungry, miss?”
“Sore throat.”
“I can fix that.”
She left the room and came back with some tomato soup.
“This will slide down.”
“Thank you,” Laura said gratefully then she ate most of the soup.
“Oh, God no!” Laura almost screamed.
Tobias leaped to his feet and asked worriedly, “What’s happened? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”
“Yes. No. My ring! My engagement ring. Oh no,” Laura burst into tears. “I’ve lost my engagement ring.”
“No. No, relax, sweetheart. I’ve got it in the safe at home, and your earrings. They gave them to me when you arrived at the hospital.”
Relief was so evident on her face.
“Oh, thank goodness!”
“Now just relax.”
Around two-thirty she grimaced a few times.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I want to go to the loo,” she whispered.
Tobias laughed while Gino smothered his face with his hand. She glared at the two men but Tobias said he’d go find David and see what they could do. He returned five minutes later with David and another male nurse in tow. The other nurse had a set of crutches in one hand.
“Okay, Laura, this is a perfect time to get you on your feet. Now you are going to hurt, you may feel dizzy. I’m going to sit you up then I’ll swing your legs over the edge of the bed. Lean on both of us and let us do the work.”
David unhooked a few of the monitors. As Tobias watched carefully, they raised her into a sitting position then David swung her legs over the side. It was obvious Laura was blowing out her mouth trying not to cry with the obvious pain she was in as her injured leg was moved. She put a hand on either shoulder of the two nurses.
“Okay?”
She nodded, seemingly not game enough to speak. David nodded to Tobias to roll the IV stand close to him. Laura had a couple of drainage bags as well, which David hooked on the stand.
“Right. Here we go. Allez hop.”
David set a crutch under each arm and then the two
of them help her upright. Her face whitened as she grimaced and gave a groan but Tobias could see how determined she was to succeed. David let her stand a moment or two before he spoke again.
“Now we’re going to go into the bathroom. Put your weight on the crutches and your good leg. Tell me if the stitches in your arms pull too much. Ready?”
Laura put her weight down onto her good leg, groaned again then moved the crutches forward. The two nurses were holding her all the way as she made it ever so slowly across the room, David rolling the IV stand as the other nurse made sure Laura was balanced. When she finally reached the bathroom, the other nurse shut the door behind her and David. Tobias could hear the murmur of their voices but couldn’t make out what they were saying. The other nurse quickly remade the bed. Ten minutes later Laura began the return journey. Tobias wanted to pick her up in his arms and carry her but knew she had to walk, she had to exercise to heal quicker.
“I think we’ll get you back into bed, but you’ve done very well for your first effort. Now whenever you need to use the bathroom you can, but you have to have at least two people with you. Do you understand, Laura? It’s too dangerous for you to attempt it by yourself with one leg out of commission, given your injuries and all the stitches, plus you have drains and an IV tree to contend with.”
“I understand,” she managed to gasp.
“Can Gino and I do it or will she have to have nurses?”
“I’m sure you two could manage, just make sure you reconnect things when she gets back into bed.”
The two men manoeuvred her back onto the bed and set the IV stand back in its place. David took her obs once again.
“Does anything hurt more than before?”
She gave a half-hearted grimace, saying ruefully, “Everything, my stomach, my right arm, my leg, my head.”
