by Ada Frost
I walked towards him and sat in the chair across from him, knotting my fingers in my lap. I took a deep fortifying breath.
“After a while I knew I didn’t like him that way, I just wanted to be friends. So I told him, I said I wanted to be his friend and that...” I swallowed the bile in my throat. “I think it was a few days later he...he took me to a party and like usual I couldn’t handle my drink and got rat arsed.” I balled my hands into fists and threw my head back to stare at the ceiling letting out a loud breath then I closed my eyes tightly “the next morning mum bollocked me for being in that state and that Elliott brought me home and had it not been for him...had it not been for him...” I choked and let my head fall; I opened my eyes and stared at the carpet. I took a deep breath and watched tears drip to the floor “I felt like shit, mum was angry at me, dad just seemed disappointed, then he turned up. He...he kissed me and when I pushed him away...he...he...” an unstoppable sob burst from me.
“Eve –“
I shook my head “he had a camera...he’d filmed me.” My lip trembled and my shoulders shook with silent cries. “He’d taken me to someone’s room and...he’d filmed us...I was passed out...and he...I don’t remember it. I never felt it...I...I drank too much to...I didn’t say no...he touched me and did things to me and I...he made me watch it. I swear I never –“ I broke down and wept, my hands shook as I brought them to my face.
Strong arms came around me and held me tightly. I gripped at his shirt shaking the vigor of my sobs. “He...said that...if I ever told anyone...I couldn’t say anything because he would do the same to Louise.” I pulled away wiping at my eyes, looking up into Dominic’s stricken face “I couldn’t let him hurt my sister, she was only thirteen. He still says he will hurt her and now she’s pregnant...but he’s threatened Ellie...Dominic I can’t let him hurt my baby sisters.” I sobbed and covered my face with my hands.
“Jesus.” He murmured and pulled me to him again.
I rubbed my cheek against his chest, loving the soft feel of his shirt. “I hated myself after that, for weeks I couldn’t stand to look at my reflection. I didn’t and still don’t remember that first time...but I...I kept seeing that video and imagining his hands on me. And his...his thing inside me.” Dominic’s arms tightened around me. “I thought that was the worst it could get, I thought because I was drunk he mistook my...I didn’t think he would try it again...but he did and it happened time and time again.” I took a deep breath “I’ve never had sex willingly, in fact I can probably only remember being conscious a handful of times.” when I felt Dominic’s body stiffen I looked up at him. His jaw tensed and I could see the strain in his face to remain quiet.
“He...when he beats me...I can’t handle it and I tend to pass out...I...prefer to pass out then I don’t feel it.”
Dominic paled and I was certain he would throw up. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. I knew it must have been hard to hear, it was heartbreaking to say it out loud. But he needed to see me; he needed to understand what I am.
“The day you found me in the kitchen Elliott had attacked me for having lunch with you that day, he’d forced himself...into me but then you shouted.” Dominic frowned and I could tell what he was thinking.
“No one ever saw Elliott after my ‘accidents’ because he was a bit like a ghost, I didn’t know he was there half the time until it was too late. He would park his car up the road, or take the bus; he would arrive back from Manchester unexpectedly and go back again. It was almost like I imagined it half the time, but bruises don’t lie. I...he’s scarred me physically and in here...” I tapped my head “and in here.” I tapped my heart. “He’s broken me and made me this vile creature...who would want this?” I squeaked motioning with my hands towards myself.
“Me.” rasped Dominic. “I would want you, I do want you. You Evelyn Beaumont are an incredible woman and I love you so fucking much.”
“Why?”
“Because to me Eve, you are perfect I don’t need, want or desire anyone or anything else in this world as much as I do you. Nothing will make me stop loving you, not my psychotic brother or this horrendous hell you’ve had to live but I’m telling you now...no one and I mean no one will hurt you again. I do want to thank you for trusting me, and living through that again and having the courage to tell me...because I got to say it was fucking killing me saying nothing.”
“How can you still love me? He...he raped me...he’s made me dirty and used, I’m ugly and spoiled...” I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head.
Dominic’s warm hands cupped my face “He betrayed you, he violated you but he didn’t dirty you. He is to blame Eve, nothing you ever did warranted his actions. He’s a sick twisted bastard. He will not hurt you and I swear on my life baby, I will not let him hurt Louise or anyone you love again okay. By telling me you have handed the reigns over to me, it is my turn to protect you.” He cupped my face in his large hands and studied me “You are the most incredible person I have ever had the honor to know, and I will live the rest of my life making sure I am worthy of your love.”
I nodded and smiled, I couldn’t speak.
“There’s one more thing...when you spoke to Johan he told you about him hitting Elliott because of the picture...of me.”
“What kind of picture was it?” He asked hesitantly
“He hit me in the face, something he never does because it’s not easy to hide. But he said he would show him who had the power.”
“Fucking...” He stood up, ejecting me from his lap. A position I wasn’t aware I had gotten into “He...FUCK!” He roared up to the ceiling. He spun round to face me and fell to his knees nuzzling his head in my lap “I'm sorry, I didn’t know...I thought...I assumed Johan was...that it was a kinky picture or some shit.” He paused looking up at me “I never expected...” again he paused looking at my face to gage my reaction “You said he films you and that’s why you couldn’t tell your parents.” I nodded my agreement “you meant he filmed the...attacks and the...while he...”
I nodded again and more tears rolled down my face.
“So this isn’t some kinky arsed sex-play, he’s a fucking perverted psychopath.”
“I’ve never consented to sex, kinky or otherwise.” I stated in a monotone. His eyes widened as he stared at me.
“Never?” He asked quietly.
I shook my head.
“You need professional help,” he said and when I gasped and my mouth gaped open he held up his hands “that didn’t come out right. What I mean is this isn’t going to go away by itself, you’ve suffered a horrific trauma and you need to claim your life back. He hasn’t broken you, he hasn’t dirtied you...he wants you to believe that but in reality baby, he’s made you so bloody strong. You survived years of his abuse to protect your...family.” He choked and swallowed before adding “I admire that you now have the strength to stand up and say no more...”
“I can’t leave him...don’t you see...I’ve told you all this so that you understand that I love you but I
can’t risk –“
“Eve I know you’re scared. But the only way to protect your sister and yourself is to have him locked away for a very long time. You cannot...he cannot get away with hurting you like this anymore. One day he is going to go too far and...I can’t go to that place because a world without you in it would be like stealing the sun. I love you...do you trust me?”
I looked into his pleading blue eyes and nodded, because the truth was I really did trust him.
“Then when we get back we tell your mum, and then we phone the police. I’ll be by your side until the time comes until you need me to step aside. I will be there with you to hold your hand and wipe away your tears. I will be there to pick you up when you are too weary to walk, I will be there to comfort you, I will be there to fight the nightmares away, I will remind you how proud of you I am but most of all I will be there to love you...no matter what. I will love you.” He lifted my hand and kissed each knuckle, then he lifted
the other hand and kissed those five knuckles. Then he lifted his face and smiled.
“I love you.” his perfectly white smile spread across his face. “From this day forward we start a new life together, it will be hard I admit that. It will probably be a lot harder than either of us imagine. But together I think we can get through it...what do you think?”
I smiled and nodded my heart feeling the lightest it had felt in years.
“Right then, I think there is only one thing for it.” He jumped up dusted his hands together and stalked towards the apartment door. He opened it, exited and slammed it close.
I sat stunned, and totally bemused as to what he was doing. Fearing he had yet again walked away from me my heart started palpitating.
A few minutes later a loud knock came at the door. I sat staring at it, confused and a little numb.
Another knock.
“Eve play along babe...open the door.” laughed Dominic.
I slowly stood and walked to the door. I opened it and he was standing there holding a single rose. “Hi, I’m Dominic Henry Layton, I agree the Henry bit is a little dodgy but it was my granddad’s name so what can you do; besides my parents didn’t give me a choice. Otherwise I’d have picked something more fitting like Einstein or Newton, something to fit my intelligence.” He puffed up his chest.
I giggled at him. And he smiled back.
“I’m thirty two years young, I’m allergic to shellfish, I’m a junk food addict but equally addicted to the gym so it kind of balances it out, or that’s what I like to tell myself. I drink pints not sissy bottled shit, I like football and rugby, I love my mum, and openly admit...well actually I’m admitting it to you so don’t broadcast it, I am a mummy’s boy...sue me I don’t care she’s amazing. What else...erm...” He tapped his chin “My dad died when I was seven and it broke my heart because it took away my best buddy.” He took a deep breath.
“I’m kicking myself because I believe I have a few apologies and serious brown nosing to do to a certain American because it seems he’s been keeping a better eye on my girl than I have, but I still think he’s a little shit, so I’ll bide my time with that one. We once went camping years back and you borrowed my jumper to sleep in, when you gave it back I took it home and I still have it in my draw, unwashed...okay...so that sounds a bit creepy.” He cleared his throat “Moving on...I can tell when you’re hungry because you get incredibly moody. When you’re solving a problem you do this adorably strange thing where you rub the pad of your index finger and thumb together, it’s like you go into an intellectual meditations.” He shrugged and showed me with both hands. I looked down at my hands and shook my head in confusion; definitely something I hadn’t noticed doing.
“I have a slight obsession with a lab analyst at work who also used to be my neighbour. I think she’s the fittest, sexiest woman on the planet and one day I am determined to make her my wife. Presumptuous I know but I don’t give a shit.”
I struggled for breath and put my hand to my throat. He simply winked at me.
“But first I am here to ask that same incredibly gorgeous woman on a date. An official, proper romantic first date.” He held out the rose, then looked from one end of the street to the other “Hurry because I nicked it from that planter over the road.
I giggled and took the contraband from his hand. “Thank you.”
“So will you?”
When I frowned at him he clarified.
“Go on a date with me, tomorrow. Spend the day with me?”
“What about work?”
“Ah...well about that. I kind of got distracted with the kissing, but we have the day off tomorrow. They need to wait for tanker deliveries and I don’t have any meetings so we can explore Paris a little. What do you think?”
“A first date in Paris, why Mr Layton you certainly know how to charm a girl.” I laughed.
“Only the best for you.” He winked. Then he stepped towards me with his eyes darkening to a hypnotic royal blue “may I kiss you again?”
I nodded.
One hand slid around my waist pulling me to him, his other gently caressed my cheek, sliding to the back of my head and cradling me to bring me to him. His lips whispered with the barest touch, he pressed his cheek against my cheek and gently rubbed, as if scenting me, claiming me as his.
“God I never want to stop touching you.” He whispered before his mouth claimed mine in a toe curling embrace. His tongue licked, lapped and tasted every inch of my lips and mouth, he teased my tongue into playing and I reciprocated, tasting him, committing his mouth to memory. I slid my hands up his hard chest, around his neck and into his soft hair. I pulled him toward me, holding him to me. Our breaths were choppy and desperate as we clawed and pulled at one another. I felt his need mirroring my own, we were desperate for one another, we needed this connection.
He pulled away, but it was as if it was under duress because he kept pecking long closed mouth kisses against my damp lips. I looked up at him with glossy eyes.
“Maybe we should go back inside. I feel it may be a long night.” He chuckled but I stood frozen a
little afraid of the next progression.
“I want to kiss you all night, nothing more, just...I’ve ten years of snogging you to make up for.” He laughed.
“And you are going to accomplish that in one night?” I asked smiling
“It’s a good starting point,” he said nudging me through the open door.
Chapter 21
I giggled an unbelievably girly giggle as we re-entered the apartment, Dominic being incredibly playful and sweet, he kissed my neck from behind circling his arms around my waist and pulling my back to his chest and nuzzling at my neck, up to my ear, he scraped at the sensitive skin of my earlobe sucking it gently into his mouth. He let it go with a soft pop and ran his nose up into my hair taking loud sniffs making me laugh again.
“You smell incredible, coconut shampoo is one of my favourite smells because of you.” He whispered huskily sending delicious shivers through my body.
I turned my head towards him, pressing my chin to my shoulder. His lips sought out mine as if they were magnetised to one another. He gently turned me to face him, each caress, sending a message of pure adoration and love. I relished the freedom of touching him, of loving him without restraint.
“I dreamed about doing this so many times, but not once did I imagine it would feel this...incredible.” He whispered against my mouth. His tongue sneaking out to lap and taste my moist lips.
I smiled against his mouth as he pressed into me again, his hands cupping my face and gently holding me to him. I also, had the same dreams about kissing Dominic, but I always had a fear that if it ever happened I would freeze and my frigidity would stop me from enjoying it, but his patient lips explored and urged me forward, I devoured the sensations, I loved the tingling in my tummy, the light headed euphoric feeling of being held so gently by him, and for once not feeling afraid. I closed my eyes and chased the sensation freely.
I pulled away looking up into his eyes, watching his dilated pupils regard me, the deep blue of his eyes glossed with yearning. I swallowed and pulled back infinitesimally but Dominic caught the movement and offered a reassuring smile.
“Never be frightened of me baby, I swear I will never force you to go beyond what you are comfortable giving me. I...we will go at your pace okay? I know it’s going to take time and I am more than willing to wait to get to whatever level of intimacy you want to. But you are okay with kissing right?”
I nodded and smiled bashfully.
“Then I am more than happy with that.” He leaned in and kissed my temple, holding me close to his chest.
“But what if that’s all I...what if that’s all I’m good for? What if –“
“You are ‘good for’ a lot of things Eve. Sex isn’t the only important thing in a relationship...okay so I think maybe I’ve just broken a macho rule there...but I love you for all of you not just for sex. I loved you as a friend first
, I love your mind, I love the way you laugh, I love that you get this little glow when you watch a romantic film; I love how you make me feel by just walking into a room. I get this feeling...” He pulled away and patted his chest “I can’t explain it...it’s like...when you’re near me I’m complete. You make me complete, and now I have your love in return that’s all I would ever need. The other stuff is an added bonus; we are more than purely physical. But eventually we will get there, you just have to learn to trust again, it will take time, but we have time. I’m offering a lifetime. No limits, no restrictions, when you are ready baby tell me. I love you; all I need is for you to love me back.”
“I love you back, I whispered.” Pressing my forehead to his.
“That’s a bloody relief.” He chuckled. “I’m going to kiss you one more time then I think we need to get some sleep because tomorrow I’ve got a super hot date. I’ve waited 10 fucking years and she finally said yes.”
I smiled “That’s a long time to wait, let’s hope she’s worth it.” I said sobering and swallowed my anxiety.
“Oh she’s worth it. To me she’s worth it.” He pressed his lips to my crinkled brow. “Now do I get a goodnight kiss?”
I nodded and stood on tiptoes meeting his soft mouth.
