by Lucian Bane
Emotion choked her and she gasped, nodding. “Okay,” she said, feeling like she was supposed to seal the deal with something.
He put her hand on his chest in that spot that needed to be marked. “Was thinking of putting Charlotte here,” he whispered, serious as can be to him.
Rin gushed a laugh, seeing right through the silly lie. Knowing with all she was that it was a lie. “No you’re not,” she said, the words squeaking out.
He gave her a smile and leaned in to kiss her, a soft press on her lips. “You’re finally catching on.”
She nodded and blurted, “What … about for the … other?”
“My cock?” he asked, pulling back with a smile.
She nodded, feeling her cheeks warm and the need to not make direct eye contact now.
“Say it,” he said with a soft smile.
“Say what?” she wondered, confused.
“Say … I like your cock.”
Light laughter sputtered out of her while shame burned her cheeks with the roll of her eyes.
“Come on, say it,” he begged lightly, his dark brows drawing together a little.
“I like your cock,” she muttered.
“No, you have to look at me when you say it.”
“Oh Dante, please,” she said, breathless, looking off to the right with his silliness.
“Come on, say it,” he urged kneeling on the bed so that the topic of discussion loomed in her face.
She looked up at him trying to not be so affected. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be but wagered with her lack of knowledge on every single thing, she shouldn’t be, not that much. “I like your cock,” she said matter-of-factly while looking up into his smiling face. He was enjoying this.
“Say you love my cock and you want your name all over it.”
She gasped, pretending she didn’t want exactly that. “You’re acting like a child,” she said, trying to not see the way he stroked himself right in her face now.
“Say you love my cock,” he repeated, ignoring her. “And you want your name all over it. While looking at me. Come on you can do it.”
“I know I can but you shouldn’t try to make me.”
“Say it, come on.”
She sighed. “It’s hard to look you in the eye when you’re … cock is in my face.”
He gave a low chuckle before murmuring, “I love to hear you say it. But you need to say it with more …” he gave a slow hiss “…passion. I love … your cock,” he demonstrated with a thick lust in his tone. He’d lowered so that his face was level with hers. “I love … your pussy. See what I mean? Do you feel it when I say it?”
Oh she surely did and she didn’t have to answer for him to know it, apparently.
He nodded. “That’s because I put my heart into it. Now you,” he said, waiting.
She closed her eyes not sure why it was so hard. She finally opened them and forced herself to stare into his eyes. “I … love … your … mind.” She busted out laughing and threw herself onto the bed, howling at the last second thought that had slipped out.
“Cute,” he said covering her with his body. “You need practice with that.”
His face was inches from hers now, those searching blue eyes making silent inquiries of her soul. “Why?” she whispered, no longer thinking about anything but the feel of his hot chest pressing into her breasts.
“Because it should be something you can say with no reservation.”
She fought to think around him. “It’s … I mean it’s a very private matter,” she shrilled lightly. “Most people don’t talk that way.”
“Really? Says who? That Ex Pecker Preacher of yours? Hm?”
“No,” she cried. “You should keep your conversation pure,” was all she could think of and was pretty sure she misquoted.
“Oh saying this is very pure,” he assured, making her snicker. “Tell me what’s not pure about it.”
“Pure bad, maybe.”
He kissed her in response, his breaths edged with that bad she was thinking of. Raw lust as he licked all over her tongue like a melting ice cream cone. “If this is pure bad,” he whispered, biting along her lower lip. “Then I’m going to burn in hell for how bad you make me feel.”
She tried to think about what he said, what it meant. He suddenly pulled up and laid next to her, head propped on his hand again, eyes locked on hers.
She laid imprisoned, staring back into his seeking gaze. “Your turn,” he said.
Her turn? “For what?”
“What were you doing at seven years old?”
She thought about that. Seven. “Seven was when I began to learn French in school.” She regarded him out of the corner of her eye. “My life was uneventful,” she warned.
“Not to me. Tell me.”
She got back to thinking about the timeline, pursing her lips a little. “There was the gardening.”
“You garden? I happen to be in need of a botanist.”
“I do, and I’m very good at it.” She tried to think about his ‘what else’ he murmured between soft kisses along her shoulder. “I liked to draw. Or try to. I was learning how to cook.” She swallowed as his lips continued along. “I-I helped at church. Babysat a lot. Oh,” she said, remembering something kind of impressive. “When I was fourteen, I went to Mexico for a week to help build a church. I loved it!” she gasped, remembering. “I wanted to be a missionary from then on.” She sucked in a breath when his kiss found her nipple. “Are you even listening?” she whispered.
“I am,” he mumbled, sucking softly now. “Keep telling me.”
“Well … it’s-it’s hard with you …”
“Try. For me,” he said, kissing his way through the valley of her breasts and heading to the other side.
She closed her eyes, focusing. “But then I graduated and …” Her not so distant past suddenly crept over her like a dark shadow. She moved her arms over her breasts, making him lift his head. A dirty feeling came over her and she turned her face away from his pure gaze.
“What?” he asked, moving till his face was near hers.
She looked off to the side with a small shake of her head, drawing her legs up a little.
“Keep going, Princess,” he whispered. “I’m right here.”
She scoffed lightly. “That’s the problem.”
“What is?”
“You’re right here, and I don’t want you to know.”
“Why?” he asked gently.
“Because it’s stupid,” she said with light annoyance.
“I need to know.”
“Why? Why does anybody need to know?”
“I want to know.”
She sat up, pulling the pillow to her, anger shortening her breaths. “You want to know, well that’s stupid. I don’t want you to know, okay? Is that good enough?”
She waited in the silence and clenched her eyes at his soft, “No.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Why?” she gasped, her chest heaving, cringing at the feel of his lips on her shoulder again.
“Because I have … to hear it.”
“Fine,” she said, shooting up, yanking the sheet off the other bed to cover with. She couldn’t be seen naked or have his mouth on her while she had those thoughts in her mind. It felt all wrong. Dirty and shameful. “It’s a simple and pathetic story,” she began with a cold curtness. “The most handsome, the most smart, the most successful man at my beloved home church, who never before noticed me, suddenly noticed me. And stupid, stupid Rin fell for the first person to ever show interest in her and was immediately blinded by her dreams of becoming a wife and mother, of-of being at the side of an important man of God, helping usher lost souls into the kingdom.” She vaguely realized she was pacing blindly before the beds.
“When did it start?”
Funny she didn’t have to wonder what he meant. She gave an incredulous gasp. “Right away. Starting when we went on with the marriage as planned, despite my parents dying. Despite I wa
s devastated. This was all to honor them, this was all to honor God. They would have wanted that. Despite they didn’t want it and despite I told him this! Rin, sweetheart,” she mimicked in the words of her stupid husband. “Of course they want it. You surely misunderstood? And that was it!” she yelled, eyes wide. “That’s all it took for stupid Rin to follow along.”
“Oh, these lies continued every day, but the best ones were in the marriage bed,” she said shooting up a finger and nodding as she paced. “Woman was not to feel pleasure because of her being the first to sin. I was not to see him naked, therefore every time we attempted to procreate,” she gasped, quoting the air at the stupid term, “I was required to be face down. Face down not just so I didn’t see his nakedness, but because he couldn’t stand to see mine!”
Dante suddenly stood in her path and she spun away from him only to have his arms go around her. Anger shot through her. “Let me go!” she grit.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered.
“Let. Me. Go!”
He tightened his hold. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Let me go!” she gasped. Fury exploded through her limbs and she thrashed to get free. “It was my damn fault,” she grit. “I have a brain! I have a brain if I’d thought to use it!” she roared.
“You trusted him, Rin!” he hissed in her ear, holding tighter.
“I killed my parents!” she shrieked.
“You didn’t kill them, Rin,” he whispered harshly next to her ear. “You didn’t kill them!”
“I gave them both a stroke!” she wailed, the devastation fresh like she’d just learned the news before the frantic feelings made her claw to get free. “I didn’t care I wanted to be married, I wanted what I wanted!”
“No Rin! They died because they were old.”
“On the same day! And he said it was a gift from God! To take them together! He kissed me on the forehead when he told me that and then said he was going to be gone for the month on business!” She wailed the final words, her heart feeling shattered all over again in her chest. “I hate him! I hate him! He used me for seven years, and for what? What did I ever gain him except shame!?”
Dante let her go with a growl and slammed his fist into the mirror on the wall then into the dresser next to it, making her yelp. He shook his arm and eyed her, his face dark with fury. “Just stop,” he shuddered, trembling. “Fuck the backstory, I can’t hear another word or I’ll kill him.” He pointed at her. “Except one thing. I need to know anything and everything that would explain why that bastard fired the janitor who brought evidence of child porn happening in his church.”
She stared at him, horror and confusion filling her. “Child porn,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Who told you such a thing?”
“It’s a valid source,” he assured, eyeing her before storming over to her and pulling her into his arms. “I’m sorry, Princess. About all of it. I’m going to give it all back and more, every second he stole from your beautiful soul and life. You believe that, right?” He held her face, searching her eyes.
She nodded and fought back a sob. She did know. And she wanted to help him do that. She wanted to do the same for him. She suddenly realized she needed to protect him just as much as he wanted to protect her. He was right.
She thought about the shocking thing he’d just said about Daryl and the child porn. Even though she shook her head no and came up empty, she felt like it might be one of the pictures being created by the ugly black dots raining down. She continued to shake her head while feeling a shiver of evil crawl over her skin. He was a bad man. She always felt he was, but not in that way. But now … now she was looking at everything in that dark light that had been her life.
But still. That? Child porn? She sat on the bed feeling sick. “I may have been stupid and blind to what he was doing with me, but not-not something like that. No way,” she whispered, disgusted before looking up at him. “Where did you hear this?”
“The janitor who was fired,” Dante said, dropping onto the other bed. “I need to find out things. If there is anything going on that remotely involves child abuse, we need to find that out.”
Her new instincts had her nodding while old habits made her think, no. Not her church. “They are very big about kids. We even have an inner city children’s ministry.”
He jerked his gaze to her. “Inner-city ministry? Like what? How?”
“Like they find kids in the city that are in need, that are poor, that … need God,” she whispered, shaking her head as the ugly possibility snaked through her. “They wouldn’t,” she went on. “I know these people, I … I know they love kids, I see they love them,” she assured, firmly.
“Maybe they love their own?” he suggested cautiously. “I’m not saying they’re all guilty. I’m saying we need to find out if there is any merit to what that janitor implied.”
She sat, paralyzed with fear and sickness that any of that could possibly be true. And if it was, how would they find that out? “Shelli,” she whispered, looking at him. “Shelli was part of the inner-city ministry, she was my friend. Growing up, I mean. We parted ways when I got married, the church jobs sort of separated us.”
“Do you think you can call her? Carefully fish around?”
She looked at him, feeling so out of touch and lost. “What … what would I ask her?”
“Well, we’ll need to figure that out,” he muttered, putting his elbows on his knees and holding his head. He suddenly turned his face to her. “Did you … ever hear about the murder that happened in Sacramento twenty five years ago?”
“We have a church there,” she said.
“I know,” Dante said. “That’s where the porn pics were given to Daryl. That’s where the janitor was fired.”
She stared at him disgust twisting her face at the idea he’d be behind something like that. And yet the more she thought of him, the more he fit the sick, twisted, image. “He could, you know,” she whispered.
“Could what?”
“Could have,” she said in dread. “Could have done this. He’s wicked enough,” she gasped, thinking. “He’d find a way to make it all okay, make it all godly even,” she hissed with loathe.
Dante hurried to her and sat, putting his arm around her. The instinct to push him off made her limbs lock up. She realized it was wrong. He’d messed everything up inside her she couldn’t react like a normal human should.
“I never told you why Tin Tin was in prison,” Dante whispered.
She slowly turned to look at him.
“He was falsely convicted of brutally raping and murdering a five year old child. Tin Tin didn’t do it,” he said emphatically. “I spent fifteen years with the man and I know. I know,” he repeated strongly.
“I believe you,” she finally said.
He nodded in relief as though it were important that she did. She may not like Tin Tin for what he did to Dante, but she believed Dante.
“So I will try to reach Shelli and see what I can learn.”
“We need a plan,” Dante said. “We’ll come up with a tight one but we’ll wait till we’re in California to do it. Where I have connections and friends.”
She nodded, her stomach quivering at the idea. She fiddled with the sheet in her lap. “I’ve … I’ve never been many places. Mexico was the only place I’ve gone,” she said quietly. “I mean we went on field trips with the homeschoolers but they were always local.”
She swallowed as Dante turned her face to his, making her lose her train of thought. She was sure if the damn room were on fire she’d sit there, mesmerized. “You’re my virgin,” he said, kissing her lips softly. “First time for so many things. I like being your first time in anything.”
Well, that took instant care of the stupid feeling she felt from being naïve and unexperienced. She just hoped she didn’t make too many mistakes and embarrass herself. Or him.
Chapter Sixteen
“Another hundred miles and we’ll reach Sacramento.” Dante
glanced at Rin, who nodded with a small smile from where she sat hugging her door. Just what was going on in that pretty head of hers? He eyed her short hair, again fascinated that he could be so aroused with it. It made her more vulnerable than ever and her transparency was driving him wild with the need to constantly reassure her. Which always ended in her orgasms. Then his. He wasn’t sure how long he could wait to make love to her but he wanted to make damn sure it was done right for her.
“When we get to Rosemont, we’ll stop at the mall there and pick you up new clothes.”
She pulled at the bottom edge of her hair as though to force it to grow. “I don’t really know what is … in fashion.”
“I’m sure somebody will help us figure that out.” Like him. He didn’t want her to know he knew just what was in fashion, and make her feel more stupid than he could tell she already felt. He wasn’t an expert, but he knew what he wanted her in. She needed to embrace her sexuality. She needed to feel beautiful. And sexy. Not so much that she’d feel naked. Or so much that he’d go to prison for shoving a fucker’s eyes into his brain.
“Are we going to your place?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “We’re going to stay at Rex and Joann’s. They’re good friends of mine when I need to lay low.”
“You have to lay low? Sometimes?”
He angled a grin at her worried brow. “I do if I think trouble is looking for me.”
He waited for her next question, he could feel it looming.
“Trouble looks for you often?”
He laughed and nodded. “Yes. It does. No, I don’t know why, and no, I don’t look for it.”
