The house was silent and she accepted he’d left for the day, ignoring the twinge she experienced at the idea. Best if he wasn’t around, as even his presence chipped away at her resolve. Last night had been a monumental mistake. A few minutes of pleasure, okay, ecstasy, wasn’t a fair trade-off for the self-doubt and recriminations afterward, not to mention feeling abandoned.
Ridiculous. She snatched up her cozy pajamas and clutched them to her chest as she marched down the hall. He might make her share his bed, but she was staking her claim on the main bathroom. Folding the nightwear and placing it on top of the hamper, she reached for her brush, blinking with surprise at the empty countertop. A quick glance through the vanity drawers confirmed all of her toiletries were missing, though her makeup was still there.
Turning on her heel, she made her way to the ensuite and glared. Her toothbrush and paste sat to the left of the sink, beside Tahl’s, her brush on the opposite side beside a disreputable comb with missing teeth. Her lotions and potions were lined up neatly and she could see her shampoo and conditioner on the shelf in the shower.
Clenching her fists, she longed to sweep every last item onto the floor and hurl the hair products against the mirror.
“There’s nothing sexier than a woman’s things in my bathroom. Except maybe you in a rage.”
Whirling, she glared at the shifter lounging in the doorway. She was getting her hearing checked damn soon. “You moved my stuff.”
“I did.”
“Goddamn it, Tahl,” she began before becoming fully aware of her nudity. She’d dreaded the awkwardness she anticipated after last night, but this was beyond awkward.
“Are you cold?” He gestured at her chest, where her traitorous nipples beaded.
“I’m not cold. I’m pissed off.”
He stepped forward, crowding her and she gave ground. He tugged the glass shower door open and leaned in to fiddle with the controls until a steaming patter of water filled the enclosure. “There’re fresh towels, and I hung your scrubby thing on the tap.”
Scrubby thing? She followed his gaze and took in her bath poof. Angry tears warred with an insane need to laugh. “You’re a terrible, pushy roommate,” she said. “Now go away.”
“You don’t need my help? Washing your back?”
“No!” She gestured toward the hall. “Go.”
He brushed a kiss across her tangled hair. “I made coffee, but you’ll have to tend to your own breakfast. I’m on my way to Jett’s.”
“Like that?” She’d pretended not to notice that he was clothed only in a pair of silky black boxers.
“Is that a hint of humor, Desi?”
At least he wasn’t calling her baby, anymore. Stupid endearment. “No. Just an observation.”
With a wink, he sauntered away and she slammed and locked the door—without taking notice of his fabulous ass. If he needed anything from in here before he left, too bad. She picked up the comb with two fingers and dropped it into the trash can. No wonder his hair always had that just out of bed look.
She stepped into the shower, taking comfort in the fact he’d forgotten her body wash, and used his spicy soap with abandon. If her skin dried up, served him right, although it wasn’t like she was going to encourage any closeness for him to find out.
God, she was thinking like a girl. Or with her pussy. As she washed the evidence of their sex away, her fingers lingered as she recalled the way he’d lavished so much attention on her. Could she have regular … sexual encounters with someone she didn’t like and who she resented? And who wouldn’t care for her at all anymore if the truth as she feared it came out? Her body and her wolf certainly didn’t seem to mind, as long as she could forget how messed up it made her feel. Like she was playing with fire.
She wandered his home, wrapped in a towel, her hair turbaned in another, and carrying a perfectly prepared cup of coffee. He’d definitely left this time, a brief note on the table like a punch in the belly.
Desi- Home for dinner. I’ll cook. Be safe. Tahl
It was the kind of missive her dad would leave for her mom, although it lacked the “love” before the signature. But then this wasn’t a love match. The note underscored her current position in life and within the pack. Word would soon spread and she’d be subject to both speculative glances and curious questions. Some of the other females would be pissed, and she could do without the bitchiness.
Leaving the paper where she’d found it, she thought about the locked door down the hall. She was curious, but Tahl had a right to his secrets, just as she had a right to her own. Probably all mated pairs kept secrets, and it shouldn’t bother her.
With a glance at the time, she hustled to apply her makeup and choose an outfit for the day. Opening the shop and working from Tahl’s house didn’t require anything fancy. Finding a pair of panties, she pulled out a pair of yoga pants and long-sleeved matching top. Her small, high breasts didn’t require a bra, though her fingers lingered over the gossamer one he’d given her at the cabin, before consigning it to a pile of items to be washed. On an impulse, she slipped the silly pink thongs on her feet.
After running her brush through her damp hair, she carefully hung her towels to mimic Tahl’s tidiness. A pang of some undefined emotion lanced through her at the thought of the room harboring other women’s belongings, not that his past conquests bothered her anymore.
She drove to her mother’s store and unlocked it, and then disarmed the security system. Everything looked the same as it did a couple of days ago, and she paused to straighten an artfully tied scarf on a mannequin. She sniffed at the air, marking the perfume her mom favored and wished she was here. Though she’d wished—fiercely—that people would leave her alone… It was a good thing she hadn’t given that desire a voice or she might never see another soul. If a person really believed she was capable of such things.
Waiting on Michelle, she called River. Her friend was again unwell, and not up for a visit in any shape or form. Jett had hired a nanny so Desi wasn’t even required to help out. She made a mental note to send the other woman a gift from the boutique—River had the fashion sense of a gnat, and wanted to dress appropriately as the Alpha’s mate. Desi needed to keep in mind her sister-in-law’s changing shape, and absently drifted a hand down to her belly.
How are you, little one? Forgive your mommy’s silliness. She’ll figure it out soon enough.
“Desi?” Michelle clattered in, the blonde shifter female the perfect advertisement for the boutique. Today she was wearing an outfit Desiree had coveted for herself. “Am I late?”
Michelle was always late, and often unavailable for reasons known only to herself, but once she arrived she remained a focused and efficient employee.
“You’re good.” She abruptly changed her mind. “I’ll be working out of Marlene’s office today as soon as I run a few errands.” Like running back to Tahl’s and grabbing her laptop.
“I’m fine alone,” Michelle said. “Really. It’s not like some weirdo’s going to target a boutique.”
“I’d feel better.” She couldn’t stay by herself at Tahl’s.
“Whatever you like.” The blonde was a bit huffy, perhaps thinking Desi didn’t think she could manage. She narrowed her eyes. “Hey. Are you okay? You look different.”
With a self-deprecating wave over her outfit, she said, “Casual Friday.”
Michelle’s mouth gaped at the sight of her flip flops. “I’ll say. Though it’s not just your clothes.”
Tahl might be spreading the word by now, and if not him, then Jett. She didn’t know if the Council was meeting today, but she didn’t want to look as though she had a reason to hide anything. Better she brazen it out.
“Must be the glow,” she joked.
“Glow? Yeah, maybe… Hey, are you pregnant? That kind of glow?” Michelle vibrated, her face speculative. “Are you mated?”
“Two days ago. Pregnant too.” Shifters sometimes miscarried, but it didn’t feel as though she was jinxing h
erself by telling Michelle. But it made it frighteningly real, and her mouth dried out.
“Wow. Who claimed you?”
“Tahl Powers.”
A brittle smile etched Michelle’s full lips although her face paled in shock. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s dogged your footsteps this past while. It’s a good match, what with his position on the Council and you being the Alpha’s sister.”
Nothing about a grand passion or undying love. Desi fought the urge to laugh out loud. The other woman had summed it up succinctly. She smiled back, certain her effort was as transparent as Michelle’s. Michelle, who was also approaching her twenty-fifth birthday.
Quietly, Desi said, “Well, he’s off the market now.”
“Right. Well, congratulations. All the best.” Michelle turned to leave, probably already envisioning the first phone call she’d make, and then looked back. “Whatever happened with that female he went after over at Dawnfall?”
The dart found its mark, but Desi was ready for it. “Can’t say.”
“Well, with females earning the right to refuse before the male triggers her heat, she probably made use of it. I guess I’d be okay with being second choice, seeing as it’s Tahl.”
“Exactly.” She faced the other woman down until Michelle finally left to enter her information into the till and throw on the Open sign.
Maybe it would be best to hide out at Tahl’s after all. There would be a steady stream of the curious and the so-called well-wishers as soon as Michelle made that first call. Being forced to see all those shifters was daunting. Not to mention the humans, though they would think in terms of marriage because he’d knocked her up. Bleck. On the bright side, it would drive sales and she could always plead work demands to avoid any lengthy discussion.
Grabbing her purse, she waved to Michelle, cell glued to the other woman’s ear. “I’ll be back in an hour or so.”
As she feared, there were a number of females in the shop when she returned with her laptop. She’d taken the time to change, not caring about what Michelle might think. A beautiful, pale-blue wool suit worn over a feminine shirt and four-inch stilettos gave her confidence.
A chorus of congratulations, followed by any number of questions ranging from the mundane to the sublime and unforgivably intrusive filled the air.
“How long have you two been an item?”
“When are you due?”
“When did this happen?”
“What’s Tahl like as a mate?”
“He’s amazing in the sack, Desi. Probably even better what with your heat, eh?”
She fielded all of them with a sweet smile and as little information as possible, saying it was one of those things and that he was probably like any other mate, seeing as she had no basis for comparison. As for the snide reminder that she got to share his sexual largesse with any number of others, she took a page out of Tahl’s book and winked. Though it about killed her to remain above it all.
To her surprise, there were also sincere congratulations and kindness shown by some members of the pack, especially from those who drifted in later. Even a few of the females she knew had either been with Tahl or might have seen themselves in her place were in that category.
But toward the end of the work day, she was drained. She’d managed a little work and dealt with the parade of “customers”. Michelle was also exhausted, though visibly pleased with her commission sales. The front door opened and Desi swallowed a groan. She hoped the straggler wouldn’t draw things out.
Michelle’s voice reached her. “Tahl! How nice to see you. I hear congratulations are in order.”
His deep voice answered. “They are indeed. Thanks. Is Desi in the back?”
When the other woman replied in the affirmative, she heard him move quietly toward the office and somehow resisted smoothing her hair and checking her makeup. He’d seen her at her very worst and gilding the lily, as her nana would have said, was stupid.
“Desiree.” He didn’t sound pleased with her and she studied his handsome face. His very presence made her breath hitch.
“Hello, Tahl.”
“I thought you were working at home today.”
“I changed my mind.” Intuiting an upcoming disagreement, she rose and went to squeeze past him. “See you tomorrow, Michelle.”
“Okay. Bye, love birds!”
As soon as the other female was out of hearing, she said, “Have I broken another one of your edicts?”
“I expect that if I’d gone home and didn’t find you there, I’d have been disappointed, seeing as you aren’t where you said you’d be.”
“Right. I forgot. You’re my father now.”
“What I’d like to do to you right now hardly falls into the paternal category, though you might think smacking your ass qualifies.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I think it’s more about you.”
She retreated behind the desk, wary of the tight reserve in his voice. “I’ll be sure to update you regarding my itinerary from here on in.”
“Jesus, Desi. I was in Council all morning, and there were some fires to put out afterward as a result of our discussions. River was inundated with calls because people couldn’t reach Jett, and she’s not feeling well.”
“Tahl, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You told a number of people that we’re mated.”
“So? Were you planning on hiding it?” She couldn’t imagine that, but the very idea stabbed her right beneath her sternum.
With an exasperated sigh, he said, “Family is told initially, after the Alpha if permission hasn’t been granted, a moot point, in this case, then the Council. Then the freaking pack at large. You know that. I was blindsided. And on top of that, you weren’t answering your cell.”
Keeping an eye on him, she fished through her purse, brow furrowing. “It’s not here. I have no idea how I didn’t notice. Crap, I hope I didn’t lose it.”
“Normally, the happy couple are presented to the Council. Often there’s a party. But I suppose your take on our union is such that all of that is irrelevant.”
With a sinking stomach, as she fully recognized his angst, she said, “I told Michelle because she noticed something different about me. I guess she spread the word.”
“Like wildfire,” he agreed, his tone as dry as the desert. “I imagine you had some visitors today.”
“Pretty much all the females in the pack who could get away from their jobs. Several human females. I’d estimate all of your conquests.” She wasn’t feeling badly enough to resist making that jab.
Silence weighed heavy in the small space, thick and suffocating. “And you thought you’d face each and every one of them on your own.”
Tahl would know how other females reacted—and some of the males too—when a pair bond was formed. Jealousy resulting from disappointment wasn’t uncommon. She’d seen it in River’s case despite the fact that those mated were totally loyal to one another because there was no alternative.
She shrugged. “It was okay.”
“Because it didn’t touch you.” His tone was weary, and his shoulders slumped.
“Tahl.” She might not like him and was still so very angry that he’d triggered her heat, but she shouldn’t hurt him. They had to make the best of this relationship. Yet she wasn’t prepared to open herself up to him by telling him that every female he’d taken had been like a body blow for her over the years. “Your past is what it is. There’s nothing changing it.”
On a gust of breath, he said, “I was fucking jealous of your … flirtations. I thought you were doing all those males, not that I had the right to feel that way.”
She sat down before her knees buckled and kept her composure. “Well, now you know I wasn’t doing any of them, you can stop questioning your rights.”
“Why did you wait, Desi? Truth.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me. Truth.”
Looking him straight in the eyes, she said, “I wanted my first time to be with someone I deserved, and who deserved me.”
Wincing, he let out a bitter laugh. “I had to ask. I’ll try to be that someone from here on out. Best I can do. I’ll see you at home.”
She stared after him, hearing the door shut quietly behind him, and wondered why there was such a weight on her chest. It finally lifted to allow her to take in enough air to banish the darkness around the edges of her vision, and she slowly packed up.
The landline rang and she stared at it as though it might turn into a snake. Could she deal with another pack member? Picking it up, she clicked the talk button.
“Desiree?” Her mother spoke before she could.
“Uh huh.”
“You’re not answering your cell.”
“I left it somewhere.”
“You’re attached to that thing. This connection with Tahl must have addled your thinking.”
“Gee, thanks, Mom.”
“Michelle texted me. Several times. I called Lizbeth.”
“Good, thanks.” She should have called her sister, but that female was so blissed out in her relationship with Gareth that Desi couldn’t have stood the shrieking excitement. Or the marked disparity.
“I should have stayed. Been a support. But this buying trip came up and… It’s not something I could have rescheduled.”
“No problem, Mom. It’s not like you could have done anything more. I mean, you encouraged him.”
“You’re angry with me.”
“And him.” And myself.
“You’ve always wanted him. You haven’t looked at anyone else seriously. I confess I’m ambivalent as usual. But I told him to tell you what was in his heart.”
“He said he cared for me. Right before he triggered my heat. Maybe I’m okay as a second choice.”
“It’s more than that, honey.”
“I jinxed him with Peyton, Mom.”
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