“Truth!” he began, but was not suffered to add another word.
“Shut up,” snarled Carmichael. “Can’t you hear them coming?”
And the tramp of the shooting-boots, which Dr. Methuen was still new chum enough to wear, followed by the chaplain’s lighter step, drew noisily nearer upon the unseen part of the veranda that encircled the whole house.
“Stand up, you cripples!” cried Carmichael over his shoulder, in a stage whisper. And they all came to their feet as the two ecclesiastics appeared behind the table at the open end of the tabernacle.
Carmichael felt inclined to disperse the congregation on the spot.
There was the Bishop still in his gaiters and his yellow dust-coat; even the chaplain had not taken the trouble to don his surplice. So anything was good enough for Mulfera! Carmichael had lunged forward with a jutting jaw when an authoritative voice rang out across the table.
“Sit down!”
The Bishop had not opened his hairy mouth. It was the smart young chaplain who spoke. And all obeyed except Carmichael.
“I beg your lordship’s pardon,” he was beginning, with sarcastic emphasis, when the manager of Mulfera was cut as short as he was himself in the habit of cutting his inferiors.
“If you will kindly sit down,” cried the chaplain, “like everybody else, I shall at once explain the apparent irregularity upon which you were doubtless about to comment.”
Carmichael glowered through his glasses for a few seconds, and then resumed his seat with a shrug and a murmur, happily inaudible to all but his two immediate neighbors.
“On his way here this morning,” the chaplain went on, “his lordship met with a misadventure from which he has not yet recovered sufficiently to address you as he fully hoped and intended to do to-day.” At this all eyes sped to the Bishop, who stood certainly in a drooping attitude at the chaplain’s side, his episcopal hands behind his back. “Something happened,” the glib spokesman continued with stern eyes, “something that you do not often hear of in these days. His lordship was accosted, beset, and, like the poor man in the Scriptures, despitefully entreated, not many miles beyond your own boundary, by a pair of armed ruffians!”
“Stuck up!” cried one or two, and “Bushrangers!” one or two more.
“I thank you for both words,” said the chaplain, bowing. “He was stuck up by the bushranger who is once more abroad in the land. Really, Mr. Carmichael — —”
But the manager of Mulfera rose to his full height, and, leaning back to get the speaker into focus, stuck his arms akimbo in a way that he had in his most aggressive moments.
“And what were you doing?” he demanded fiercely of the chaplain.
“It was I who stuck him up,” answered the soi-disant chaplain, whipping a single glass into his eye to meet the double ones. “My name is Stingaree!”
And in the instant’s hush which followed he plucked a revolver from his breast, while the hands of the sham bishop shot out from behind his back, with one in each.
The scene of the instant after that defies ordinary description. It was made the more hideous by the frightful imprecations of Carmichael, and the short, sharp threat of Stingaree to shoot him dead unless he instantly sat down. Carmichael bade him do so with a gallant oath, at which the men immediately behind him joined with his two companions in pulling him back into his chair and there holding him by main force. Thereafter the manager appeared to realize the futility of resistance, and was unhanded on his undertaking to sit quiet, which he did with the exception of one speech to those behind.
“If any of you happen to be armed,” he shouted over his shoulder, “shoot him down like a dog. But if you’re all as fairly had as I am, let’s hear what the beggar’s got to say.”
“Thank you, Mr. Carmichael,” said the bushranger, still from the far side of the table, as a comparative silence fell at last. “You are a man after my own heart, sir, and I would as lief have you on my side as the simple ruffian on my right. Not a bad bishop to look at,” continued Stingaree, with a jerk of the head toward his mate with the two revolvers. “But if I had let him open his mouth! Now, if I’d had you, Mr. Carmichael — but I have my doubts about your vocabulary, too!”
The point appealed to all present, and there was a laugh, in which, however, Carmichael did not join.
“I suppose you didn’t come here simply to give us a funny entertainment,” said he. “I happen to be the boss, or have been hitherto, and if you will condescend to tell me what you want I shall consider whether it is worth while to supply you or to be shot by you. I shall be sorry to meet my death at the hands of a thieving blackguard, but one can’t pick and choose in that matter. Before it comes to choosing, however, is it any good asking what you’ve done with the real bishop and the real chaplain? If you’ve murdered them, as I — —”
Stingaree had listened thus far with more than patience, in fact with something akin to approval, to the captive who was still his master with the tongue. With all his villainy, the bushranger was man enough to appreciate another man when he met him; but Carmichael’s last word flicked him on a bare nerve.
“Don’t you dare to talk to me about murder,” he rapped out. “I’ve never committed one yet, but you’re going the right way to make me begin! As for Bishop Methuen, I have more respect for him than for any man in Australia; but his horse was worth two of my mate’s, and that’s all I troubled him for. I didn’t even tie him up as I would any other man. We just relieved the two of them of their boots and clothes, which was quite as good as tying up, with your roads as red-hot as they are — though my mate here doesn’t agree with me.”
The man with the beard very emphatically shook a matted head, now relieved of the stolen helmet, and observed that the quicker they were the better it would be. He was as taciturn a bushranger as he had been a bishop, but Stingaree was perfectly right. Even these few words would have destroyed all chance of illusion in the case of his mate.
“The very clothes, which become us so well,” continued the prince of personators, who happened to be without hair upon his face at this period, and who looked every inch his part; “their very boots, we have only borrowed! I will tell you presently where we dropped the rest of their kit. We left them a suit of pyjamas apiece, and not another stitch, and we blindfolded and drove ‘em into the scrub as a last precaution. But before we go I shall also tell you where a search-party is likely to pick up their tracks. Meanwhile you will all stay exactly where you are, with the exception of the store-keeper, who will kindly accompany me to the store. I shall naturally require to see the inside of the safe, but otherwise our wants are very simple.”
The outlaw ceased. There was no word in answer; a curious hush had fallen on the captive congregation.
“If there is a store-keeper,” suggested Stingaree, “he’d better stand up.”
But the accomplished Chaucer sat stark and staring.
“Up with you,” whispered Carmichael, in terrible tones, “or we’re done!”
And even as the book-keeper rose tremulously to his feet, a strange and stealthy figure, the cynosure of all eyes but the bushrangers’ for a long minute, reached the open end of the veranda; and with a final spring, a tall man in silk pyjamas, his gray beard flying over either shoulder, hurled himself upon both bushrangers at once. With outspread fingers he clutched the scruff of each neck at the self-same second, crash came the two heads together, and over went the table with the three men over it.
Shots were fired in the struggle on the ground, happily without effect. Stingaree had his shooting hand mangled by one blow with a chair whirled from a height. Carmichael got his heel with a venomous stamp upon the neck of Howie; and, in fewer seconds than it would take to write their names, the rascals were defeated and disarmed. Howie had his neck half broken, and his face was darkening before Carmichael could be induced to lift his foot.
“The cockroach!” bawled the manager, drunk with battle. “I’d hoof his soul out for two pins!”
A moment later he was groping for his glasses, which had slipped and fallen from his perspiring nose, and making use of such expressions withal as to compel a panting protest from the tall man in the silken stripes.
“My name is Methuen,” said he. “I know it’s a special moment, but — do you mind?”
Carmichael found his glasses at that instant, adjusted them, stood up, and leant back to view the Bishop; and his next words were the apology of the gentleman he should have been.
“My dear fellow,” cried the other, “I quite understand. What are they doing with the ruffians? Have you any handcuffs? Is it far to the nearest police barracks?”
But the next act of this moving melodrama was not the least characteristic of the chief performance; for when Stingaree and partner had been not only handcuffed but lashed hand and foot, and incarcerated in separate log-huts, with a guard apiece; and when a mounted messenger had been despatched to the barracks at Clare Corner, and the remnant raised a cheer for Bishop Methuen; it was then that the fine fellow showed them the still finer stuff of which he was also made. He invited all present to step back for a few minutes into the place of worship which had been so charmingly prepared, so scandalously misused, and where he hoped to see them all yet again in the evening, if it would not bore them to give him a further and more formal hearing then.
“I won’t keep them five minutes now,” he whispered to Carmichael, as the men went ahead to pick up the chairs and take their places, while the Bishop hobbled after, still in his pyjamas, and with terribly inflamed and swollen feet. “And then,” he added, “I must ask you to send a buggy at once for my poor chaplain. He did his gallant best, poor fellow, but I had to leave him fallen by the way. I am an old miler, you know; it came easier to me; but the cinder-path and running-shoes are a different story from hot sand and naked feet! And now, if you please, I will strike one little blow while our hearts are still warm.”
But how shrewdly he struck it, how straight from the shoulder, how simply, how honestly, there is perhaps no need to tell even those who have no previous knowledge of back-block Bishop Methuen and his manly ways.
What afterward happened to Stingaree is another matter, to be set forth faithfully in the sequel. This is the story of the Purification of Mulfera Station, N.S.W., in which the bushrangers played but an indirect and a most inglorious part.
The Bishop and his chaplain (a good man of no present account) stayed to see the police arrive that night, and the romantic ruffians taken thence next morning in unromantic bonds. Comparatively little attention was paid to their departure — partly on account of the truculent attitude of the police — partly because the Episcopal pair were making an equally early start in another direction. No one accompanied the armed men and the bound. But every man on the place, from homestead, men’s hut, rabbiter’s tent, and boundary-rider’s camp — every single man who could be mustered for the nonce had a horse run up for him — escorted Dr. Methuen in close cavalcade to the Mulfera boundary, where the final cheering took place, led by Carmichael, who, of course, was font and origin of the display. And Carmichael rode by himself on the way back; he had been much with the Bishop during his lordship’s stay; and he was too morose for profanity during the remainder of that day.
But it was no better when the manager’s mood lifted, and the life on Mulfera slipped back into the old blinding and perspiring groove.
Then one night, a night of the very week thus sensationally begun, the ingenious Chaucer began one of the old, old stories, on the moonlit veranda, and Carmichael stopped him while that particular old story was still quite young in the telling. There was an awkward pause until Carmichael laughed.
“I don’t care twopence what you fellows think of me,” said he, “and never did. I saw a lot of the Bishop,” he went on, less aggressively, after a pause.
“So we saw,” assented Smart.
“You bet!” added Chaucer.
For they were two to one.
“He ran the mile for Oxford,” continued Carmichael. “Two years he ran it — and won both times. You may not appreciate quite what that means.”
And, with a patience foreign to his character as they knew it, Carmichael proceeded to explain.
“But,” he added, “that was nothing to his performance last Sunday, in getting here from beyond the boundary in the time he did it in — barefoot! It would have been good enough in shoes. But don’t you forget his feet. I can see them — and feel them — still.”
“Oh, he’s a grand chap,” the overseer allowed.
“We never said he wasn’t,” his ally chimed in.
Carmichael took no notice of a tone which the youth with the putty face had never employed toward him before.
“He was also in his school eleven,” continued Carmichael, still in a reflective fashion.
“Was it a public school?” inquired Smart.
“Yes.”
“The public school?” added Chaucer.
“Not mine, if that’s what you mean,” returned Carmichael, with just a touch of his earlier manner. “But — he knew my old Head Master — he was quite a pal of the dear Old Man! . . . We had such lots in common,” added the manager, more to himself than to the other two.
The overseer’s comment is of no consequence. What the book-keeper was emboldened to add matters even less. Suffice it that between them they brought the old Carmichael to his feet, his glasses flaming in the moonshine, his body thrown pugilistically backward, his jaw jutting like a crag — the old Carmichael in deed — but not in word.
“I told you just now I didn’t care twopence what either of you thought of me,” he roared, “though there wasn’t the least necessity to tell you, because you knew! So I needn’t repeat myself; but just listen a moment, and try not to be greater fools than God made you. You saw a real man last Sunday, and so did I. I had almost forgotten what they were like — that quality. Well, we had a lot of talk, and he told me what they are doing on some of the other stations. They are holding services, something like what he held here, every Sunday night for themselves. Now, it isn’t in human nature to fly from one extreme to the other: but we are going to have a try to keep up our Sunday end with the other stations; at least I am, and you two are going to back me up.”
He paused. Not a syllable from the pair.
“Do you hear me?” thundered Carmichael, as he had thundered in the dormitory at school, now after twenty years in the same good cause once more. “Whether you like it or not, you fellows are going to back me up!”
And Carmichael was a mighty man, whose influence was not to be withstood.
A Duel in the Desert
It was eight o’clock and Monday morning when the romantic rascals were led away in unromantic bonds. Their arms were bound to their bodies, their feet lashed to the stirrup-irons; they sat like packs upon quiet station horses, carefully chosen for the nonce; they were tethered to a mounted policeman apiece, each with leading-rein buckled to his left wrist and Government revolver in his right hand. Behind the quartette rode the officer in command, superbly mounted, watching ever all four with a third revolver ready cocked. It seemed a small and yet an ample escort for the two bound men.
But Stingaree was by no means in that state of Napoleonic despair which his bent back and lowering countenance were intended to convey. He had not uttered a word since the arrival of the police, whom he had suffered to lift him on horseback, as he now sat, without raising his morose eyes once. Howie, on the other hand, had offered a good deal of futile opposition, cursing his captors as the fit moved him, and once struggling so insanely in his bonds as to earn a tap from the wrong end of a revolver and a bloody face for his pains. Stingaree glowered in deep delight. His mate’s part was as well acted as his own; but it was he who had conceived them both, and expounded them in countless camps against some such extremity as this. The result was in ideal accordance with his calculations. The man who gave the trouble was the man to watch. And Stingaree, chin on chest, was left in peac
e to evolve a way of escape.
The chances were all adverse; he had never been less sanguine in his life. Not that Stingaree had much opinion of the police; he had slipped through their hands too often; but it was an unfortunate circumstance that two of the present trio were among those whom he had eluded most recently, and who therefore would be least likely to give him another chance. A lightning student of his kind, he based his only hope upon an accurate estimate of these men, and applied his whole mind to the triple task. But it was a single task almost from the first; for the policeman in charge of him was none other than his credulous old friend, Sergeant Cameron from Clear Corner; and Howie’s custodian, a young trooper run from the same mould as Constable Tyler and many a hundred more, in whom a thick skull cancelled a stout heart. Both were brave men; neither was really to be feared. But the man behind upon the thoroughbred, the man in front, the man now on this side and now on that, with his braying laugh and his vindictive voice — triumphant as though he had taken the bushrangers himself, and a blatant bully in his triumph — was none other than the formidable Superintendent whose undying animosity the bushrangers had earned by the two escapades associated with his name.
Yet the outlaw never flattered him with word or look, never lifted chin from chest, never raised an eye or opened his mouth until Howie’s knock on the head caused him to curse his mate for a fool who deserved all he got. The thoroughbred was caracoling on his other side in an instant.
“You ain’t one, are you?” cried the taunting tongue of Superintendent Cairns. “Not much fool about Stingaree!”
The time had come for a reply.
“So I thought until yesterday,” sighed the bushranger. “But now I’m not so sure.”
“Not so sure, eh? You were sure enough last time we met, my beauty!”
“Yes! I had some conceit of myself then,” said Stingaree, with another of his convincing sighs.
Complete Works of E W Hornung Page 475
