He opened the passenger door once we parked outside out of his house. Big hands undid the seatbelt before pulling me into his broad build.
"I can walk, Dex," I told him, pressing my forehead to his shoulder.
He made a noise in his throat. "Give me this, Ritz," he said hoarsely before I was up in his arms with my head nestled right into his neck as we went inside.
He didn’t stop in the living room or in the kitchen. Dex didn’t drop me off at the bathroom to get cleaned up. Instead, he weaved our way into the master bedroom, setting me down on my feet as he toed off his boots and I did the same to my own shoes.
He was wordless, unsteady. His hands reached for the hem of my blouse, slowly tugging it upward until it was thrown into a corner. Dex's breathing got heavier as he paused, hands at his sides.
In a bold move, I did the same with his shirt, watching his eyes closely. "What's wrong?" I whispered.
"Nothin'." He shook his head, those blue eyes screwed shut. "Just...goddamn it, Ritz!" He slammed the palms of his hands against the wall on the sides of me. Those thick, muscled arms bunched and strained with an emotion I doubted that he completely understood. "Fuck," he choked out, dipping his forehead to mine. "You have no clue...no clue..."
He was right. I didn't have any idea what he was thinking, what was turning a knife into his spine; but if it was fear, anger, disappointment, or one of a million other emotions, they were all rooted back to me. And it was only me that could help him.
I glanced down at the column of his throat, at the tip of Uriel's red tentacle following the curve down to the multicolored body circling the ring through Dex's nipple. Hard abs and a trail of dark hair disappeared into the band of his underwear, which then melted into his jeans.
My hands shook as they planted themselves on his ribs, on Uriel, and slid down all that soft skin, rippled muscles and obliques, before pausing at the button of his jeans. I plucked at it like an old pro, my heart beating a quick nervous beat. I tagged the zipper, and slipped my fingers into the band of his underwear. Down, down, down they went. Everything. Jeans and boxers went over hard thighs. I dropped to my knees and kissed the Widowmakers tattoo inked on his thigh, ignoring the long bobbing muscle aimed right at me.
I could do this. I could do it.
The moment he kicked his clothes to the side, I tipped my face up to kiss the diagonal line of muscle over his hip after helping him take off his thick socks. The tiny round studs at the base of his pink cock were right there, right next to my face, as the sleek muscle pointed straight at the wall.
"Babe," Dex hissed.
My shaky hand wrapped around his meaty shaft, squeezing the hard length. I watched his face as I licked a circle around the broad tip of his crown just like he’d shown me days before. He tasted salty, musky, and so, so good. The groan that tore out of his throat when I wrapped my lips around the thick head was like an aphrodisiac, reaching right between my legs.
God, he was thick. My hand could barely wrap around him completely as I licked a circle in the deep ridge between his head and shaft. Over and over, I dragged my tongue into the crevice, letting the low sounds coming from Dex's throat fuel me.
His hand slipped around the back of my head, holding me in place. Those blue eyes were hard and heavy above a tight mouth. "Wrap your mouth...oh...oh...fuck, just...ah...just like that...suck it...suck...mother fuck..."
He only gave me the chance to suck the pink tip with all the pressure my lips could vacuum twice before he jerked out of my mouth abruptly and pulled me to stand.
"Baby," he murmured, slanting his mouth over mine immediately afterward.
The kiss was emotion and ownership all wrapped into one. His tongue was raspy and warm. I was so involved in his lips and the heat of his hands on the middle of my back, I barely noticed when he undid my bra, or when his thumbs flicked at the button of my pants and shoved my underwear down to my knees. His bare feet brushed my legs as he helped me get my bottoms completely off.
He didn't stop for a second while pulling my bra off my arms, and I didn’t let myself stew on the monumental steps we were taking. He didn't hesitate when his fingertips found the peaks of my breasts, circling his thumbs until they pebbled. Dex's groin pressed against my stomach, a thick pipe of warmth that wrote erotic dreams into my skin.
"Need you," he panted against my mouth. Not this. He didn’t need this, he needed me. And that’s what made a world of difference.
This was it.
This was it.
I raised my leg without any suggestion, hooking it over his hip in a move that made me feel incredibly vulnerable. What if this didn’t live up to his expectations?
The worry was forgotten a second later when Dex grabbed the back of my thigh in a firm hold. With his other hand, he slid it from my breast down, down, down until he slipped those long, artistic fingers over my slit. Fingertips dipped between my damp lips, stroking the tiny little button hidden between them.
I cried out.
The cry spurred those miraculous fingertips to move from my clit until they were sinking inside me, slowly. Two thick fingers stretched the tight tissues, earning a stifled breath from Dex.
"Shit, Ritz," he hissed.
He pulled his fingers nearly all the way out before pushing back in. Dex thrust in and out, over and over again, scissoring then plunging until I was soaking wet, until his hand was drenched with my excitement, my lips spread tight around his digits
“Never wanted anything the way I want you,” he groaned into my skin. “Feels like I’m gonna die if I don’t have your hot little pussy wrapped around my cock, baby.”
Then, he stopped. Just like that, he stopped. Dex pulled his fingers out slowly, trailing over to the back of my thigh. He hoisted me up to brace my back to the wall. Dex’s grip flexed over my ass as he brought his pelvis against mine. The long column of his erection rest between my slit.
God, he was so warm, and his muscles were so firm...
Dex edged his hand from my ass up my spine as he laid a soft kiss on my shoulder. He rolled his hips so that the tip of his cock nudged up my stomach, all hard and hot and insistent. The breath that fanned my neck was choppy.
"Honey." He ground his pelvis into me, the smooth globes of his balls brushed my cleft. "I can't—"
I kissed him to cut him off. My arms wound their way around Dex's neck, fusing our mouths together. "Dex."
He pulled away only to bite my chin, his breathing so heavy I worried that he'd pass out, or in his case, spontaneously combust from whatever dozens of emotions were hammering through his system. "Please. I need—"
Me.
I snuck my hand between our bodies to grasp his thick erection. Adrenaline and nerves pumped through my veins as I tried to line him up where he belonged, the thick tip nudging too high, then too low until finally, finally, he was there. The big mushroom head dipped the barest inch inside, more like a friendly kiss than anything.
Dex slid an arm under my ass to hold my weight, the other one crossing my back diagonally so that his palm cupped my shoulder, bringing our chests flush. "Here, Ritz?" he asked in a husky voice, sinking an inch deeper into me. The fingers on my shoulder tightened.
The choice was mine.
He could do this, here in his bathroom—not even in the shower—or... somewhere else. His bedroom. Wherever. I knew Dex well enough that I was sure if I told him I wanted to have him taking my virginity officially in a different place, that he'd do it.
But I didn't care. Not at all. It—me—I was his. Here. In his bedroom. On the couch. It didn't matter.
My answer was crafted into a nip at the column of his throat right by Uriel.
Dex groaned, thrusting what felt like half of his stiff cock into me so slowly, so precisely, it only felt uncomfortable as he went where no man had gone before. "Jesus fuckin' Christ," he hissed, loud, kissing my neck with more than just his tongue and lips.
"Okay?" I asked him, which seemed ridiculous when he looked up at me w
ith a pained expression.
His dark blue eyes were heavy, the rough line of his jaw locked. He flexed his hips, letting himself sink in another inch. "You’re perfect, honey. So goddamn perfect." His hips withdrew almost completely before he pushed back in with a care and a patience he usually didn't possess. It was only a small, breathless huff that gave away the battle going on beneath his skin.
Breathing in and out of my mouth, I tried to relax around him, feeling that huge, blunt dick split me around its solid shape. With two more planned, short thrusts, Dex had filled me to the hilt. I could feel the cool metal of his piercing grazing me. It wasn't painful exactly, more strange than anything as he stood there completely still while I flexed my inner muscles around him, experimentally, earning a rough grunt.
"Don't," he hissed through clenched teeth.
I stopped and kissed his throat. "Tell me if I do something wrong," I whispered, keeping myself still.
Dex sighed, tilting his mouth down to kiss me sweetly. "It feels like you're wringin’ the cum right outta my cock when you do that."
I guess that sounded like a good thing. Right?
Instinct struck and I did it again. Dex let out a low noise that went straight to the bundle of nerves between my legs. "Baby," he moaned, hiking me up higher in his arms.
Dex tilted away from me just a few inches, letting my shoulders settle back against the wall as he thrust in and out, one inch, two inches, three... That pretty pink cock impaling me each time.
A slow, steady withdrawal and push between my legs that left me achy and needy, the tight discomfort dissipating with each thrust. He bit at my lips, alternating between sucking one and then the other as he moved. Soon, too soon, the awkward feeling had practically disappeared until something hot and wonderful clenched my belly.
"Dex," I gasped. "Please."
The hand on my shoulder squeezed as he bit my earlobe, tilting his hips at even more of an angle. The movement was more of a low bounce, picking me up and down over him, never more than a couple inches at a time. But the angle, holy crap.
Holy friggin' crap.
The angle made the tiny studs at the base of his cock grind against my clit. Every. Single. Time. Rub, rub, rub.
I threw my head back against the wall and gasped out his name.
"Fuck...fuck...baby..." he hissed through clenched teeth. His hips pumped faster, still an inch, two inches, three inches. The long shaft stayed buried in me, stretching me around his thick cock. "Too good.”
Heat burst between my legs, shooting up my spine, down my legs as his piercing hit my clit roughly over and over again. Then, all of my nerves went galactic. My entire body exploded with electricity and fireworks that couldn't be described, blood pounded through my ears and I went deaf.
I didn't hear the loud choke that squeezed from Dex's throat, or the grunts that he pitched as his thrusts turned frantic, jerky. I didn't see his wild eyes turn down to look at where we were joined, to see him lose his mind as he watched his length disappear. I didn't hear the sound of pleasure that poured from him as he came, warmth and wetness flooding me.
Dex pumped his hips slowly, his breaths hard and gasping as he shifted our combined weight again to press my back securely against the wall. His chest was flat to mine, all sweaty and panting. I squeezed my legs around his hips, his cock jerking inside of me. I rested my face to the side of his as I caught my breath.
The hand on my shoulder made a slippery slide up and down my ribs, coming to rest on the nape of my neck. From the waist up, we were wrapped up in each other, and if I could, I'm sure I could have felt the pounding of his heart on my own skin.
I took a deep breath and pressed my lips to his Adam's apple. "Can we do that again soon?"
A chuckle rose up from him, loose and happy, as he rubbed the side of his stubbled face against mine. "You've gotta be the best thing I never knew I wanted."
Oh man.
I was suddenly way too glad that he couldn't see the huge smile that overwhelmed my face. Telling him that he was sweet didn't seem like something he'd like to hear, so I kept my mouth shut and kissed the line of his jaw instead. I wanted to tell him that he was the best thing I never thought I'd have but I kept that to myself. It felt like too much right then.
Too much emotion for one day.
"That wasn't the way I planned for this to go," he panted.
"It's okay." I kissed his chin. "I'm not going anywhere." Permanently at least, my brain chose to remind me.
"Fuck yeah." Dex nipped at my ear once more. "Gotta put you down," he said in a way that sounded apologetic. "You made me cum like a freight train, baby. It's a miracle I haven't dropped you yet."
He was right, at least I expected he was after he'd put me down on my feet and pulled out, a gush of liquid seeped out, wetting my inner thighs. Realization slammed into me.
Shit. Shit!
Sweat beaded on my forehead, my temples. "Dex, I'm not on any birth control."
He made a humming noise as he brought his hands up to cup my face with those darkened, tattooed hands. He stroked the top of my head. "I'm fuckin' up all kinds of shit tonight. I'm sorry, baby. Didn't even think about it." He wrapped my hair around his fist, bright blue eyes intent on my own. "I’ve always been careful. You don't got anything to worry about," Dex promised.
Nothing to worry about. Oh bloody hell.
There were very few things I remembered about the semester of health class that I took, but the safe sex class was recorded in there. Safe sex, they’d stressed. You don’t want to end up pregnant or taking meds the rest of your life.
"Baby." He pulled on my hair. "Nothin' to worry about. I’ve never…” Dex looked awkward for a moment, because yeah, I definitely wanted to hear about him having sex with other people right after he was with me. Not. “You’re the only one. Ever. We'll figure out the rest, all right?"
Well, it was done and over with. My period was coming in no time, so my chances of ovulating...I should be fine. Plus, I was ‘the only one.’ He wouldn’t lie to me about something so personal. The calm look on Dex's face was my reassurance that things would be okay. At least this something would be okay, maybe not everything in general.
I nodded into his throat. "I know."
He nodded right back, smiling just a little as he swept a palm down my ass to cup it. "Good." With a soft sigh, Dex kissed my chin. "Shower time."
I rubbed my thighs together, the sticky fluid coating skin. "Good idea."
Dex was silent as he turned on the water, leading me into the large tub. Wide, suspecting eyes glanced over the deep, colorful bruises on the hip I’d landed on.
He mumbled something in a harsh voice but didn’t say anything else, and he didn’t touch the injured parts of my body. Dex washed my hair and back with slow, gentle, sudsy hands. His palm skimmed over the scarring of my arm, but he didn't pay too much attention to it. The only indication he gave that there was something wrong was the nerve that popped continuously under his eye.
I waited next to him while he rinsed off, running my eyes over the parts of Uriel that looped on his back. So much even, smooth skin everywhere. I couldn't stop looking him over. His wide, muscled back. Narrow hips. The meaty shaft of his dick laying semi-hard on his thigh. I took the soap from him and lathered my hands, rubbing over the colorful and not so colorful parts of his chest. Over the dark and not-so-dark colors of both his arms.
Dex just stood there, outstretched limbs letting me get to him. Thighs. Knees. Calves. Even his feet. I flashed him smiles every time I got to a different body part, smiles he returned to me genuinely.
I didn’t have any words left by that point, or even after he helped me dry off.
A few moments later, he’d led me back to his bedroom and deposited himself on the edge of his bed—naked—draping me over his lap casually. One arm went around my back and the other faced palm down on my thigh. Up and down he stroked the bare skin.
Dex didn’t talk as he kissed my forehead and my nose so
gently it worried me. He didn’t say anything when I winced after he’d accidentally grabbed my bad hip. And he didn’t say a vowel or a consonant when he tried to brush a hand through my hair.
But when he tilted my face up to his, eyes intense on mine, my strength screamed its end.
“You okay, babe?” he whispered, and I knew he wasn't talking about what we'd just done in the bathroom.
My nod was reluctant.
Dex pressed his cheek to my forehead. “That's my girl.” His voice was a quiver.
That undesirable fear from earlier crept over my bare skin. I'd been told my entire life that I was worth something. That I mattered. Between yia-yia and Sonny, the two had never let me feel like I was worth anything less than gold. And I valued myself, I did. While I wasn't talented, a genius, or really good at anything, I was smart enough and hard-working enough to make up for my other weaknesses.
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