‘Ah, I wondered. You seem … different. John and I have talked about this a lot and we’d like to think you could find someone one day. Someone to make you happy.’ Angela smiled. ‘God knows, we’ve all had far too much sorrow. Emma, please don’t feel that you don’t have the right to be happy again.’
‘Thank you.’ Tears were misting the two women’s eyes. A mother, a fiancée, who loved the same young man so very much.
They made their fond farewells in the teashop’s car park, after Emma had had a big cuddle with Barney, who, from the exuberant wags of his tail, definitely remembered her.
‘Thank you so much for coming all this way, Emma.’
‘You’re so welcome. It’s been lovely to see you both again.’
‘You’ll have to come and stay sometime.’
‘Yes, I will do. Thank you. Take care.’
‘You too, my lovely.’
‘All the best.’ John gave her a warm hug.
‘And don’t forget what I said,’ Angela reminded her.
‘I won’t.’ A tear escaped her eye as Emma drove off.Oh, they were such lovely people, they hadn’t deserved what life had thrown at them.
44
It had been on her mind all night, this sense that she’d let something go, something so special. She had to find him.
A phone call wouldn’t be enough. It couldn’t show him how she felt, and if he was as cheesed off with her as he had every right to be, would he even bother to answer?
She had had some long days this week at The Chocolate Shop since meeting up with Luke’s parents, and had put the emotions down to feeling tired. But even after a good night’s sleep, there it was, this nagging, dragging, lonely feeling. It was Max. She missed him. And, the only thing that was going to put that right was to see him again – to try and explain how she felt. He’d mentioned his building project down at Jesmond, near some church or chapel which had been converted to a house.
She was in the shop on her own today. Being a Monday, Bev was working at the surgery and Holly was at school, but if she put up a sign to say it would be 11.00 a.m. opening today – surely that wouldn’t hurt just this once. It was now nearly eight o’clock. That gave her three hours; it was an hour’s drive each way, so there would be a bit of time to see him and talk with him. That’s if he still wanted to see her, after her cool dismissal of him after the market. Oh hell. She cringed just thinking about it.
To be honest, she wasn’t quite sure how she was going to explain – the emotions were still a little chaotic in her mind. But just the thought of getting in her car and at least trying, that lifted her spirits. Right, that was it. She wrote a Post-it Note and stuck it in the shop window about the later opening, got Alfie, his lead, and some water into the back of her car, and set off. Let’s do this thing, Em.
It was as she was approaching the outskirts of Newcastle that she realised a three-storey town house near to a converted chapel wasn’t that explicit. No address, no street name, and the suburb of Jesmond seemed to be quite big. Yes, she could always ring Max, but what if he was so fed up with her he didn’t answer, or worse still answered but then said he didn’t want to see her? How could she then just turn up? Better to keep the element of surprise – if she could find the right house, that was.
A church spire caught her eye; right, head in that direction. She knew Max’s vehicle and the church seemed to be at the far end of this road, so she’d be looking for some work vans, a skip, scaffolding? Nothing. No dark-grey jeep, either. And the church wasn’t converted, there was a board up about services and the like.
Fifteen minutes later she was still circling. Come on, Em, was there anything, any snippet of conversation that might help? He had said something about a coffee shop being nearby, too. Okay, so church/chapel, coffee shop, three-storey house. It was still pretty vague. She took a different turn and found herself on a street with a run of shops – hairdresser, gift shop, little café – but there must be lots of coffee shops in Jesmond, surely. Keep trying, turn left, turn right – she might as well throw a bloody dice, stupid woman. And then, a tall townhouse with scaffolding, several work vehicles parked outside, and a dark-grey jeep. Oh my, this was it!
She found a space to park a little further down the street. Taking a quick look in the rear-view mirror, she added a slick of lip gloss and ran her fingers through her hair to give it a bit more life, took a deep breath, then stepped out. Heading back to the house with the scaffolding, she passed a chap having a cigarette by one of the white vans, possibly one of Max’s team. She smiled at him.
Tall metal fencing panels stood across the driveway, one of them ajar. Inside she spotted a chap in a yellow Hi-Vis jacket checking the front of the house and making some notes on a clipboard. Emma was heading for the gap in the fencing, hoping to see Max somewhere. Hi-Vis guy turned. ‘Can I help you?’ he called across.
‘Ah, I’m looking for Max …’ What was his surname? ‘Yeah, Max Hardy.’
‘Okay, and you are?’
‘Emma.’ She took a step or two forwards.
‘Sorry, Emma, but no one’s allowed past the gated area without a hard hat: Health and Safety.’
And yes, he was indeed wearing a bright yellow hard hat.
‘Oh, can you maybe get me one? Are there any spares hanging about? Or perhaps I could borrow yours just for a few minutes?’
He gave her a look that said, ‘You must be kidding me.’
She switched on her most winning smile. ‘It’s really important that I talk to him.’
He seemed to soften. ‘Okay, give me sec and I’ll see if I’ve got a spare in the van.’
He went out to a smart navy van parked beside the house, returning with a hat, which he offered to her. ‘I think he’s around the back. Be careful, mind, there’s trenches and pits round there, as well as heaps of rubble.’
‘Anyone would think it’s a building site,’ Emma quipped, feeling nervous, which didn’t go down too well, as the guy’s face hardened. ‘Right,’ she added briskly, as she set off around the side of the house. Her heeled ankle boots were not the best choice for this terrain, but at least she was wearing jeans. It was a big property, rather grand, with a huge garden stretching out behind it. No doubt it would be fabulous when it was all done. As she rounded the corner, there was Max, hard hat on, deep in conversation with one of the workmen. They were discussing something, then looking up at the back of the house, Max pointing. Emma stopped in her tracks. Just then, Max’s gaze came down and fell upon her. He didn’t smile; he looked taken aback if anything.
Emma then lip-read him saying to his colleague, ‘I’m sorry, if you can just give me a minute?’
This was the moment in the movies when they ran into each other’s arms, and he’d pick her up and whizz her around, as the backing music swelled into a crescendo.
Emma stood frozen to the spot, feeling a bit sick, as he marched across in heavy work boots.
‘What on earth are you doing here?’ He sounded abrupt.
‘Ah …’
But she knew why she was here, and she needed to tell him. ‘I missed you.’ There was a sense of relief as the words were spoken.
‘Look, I’m right in the middle of things here. But if you can just wait for five or ten minutes, I’ll take time out for a coffee or something. How does that sound?’
‘Okay, I’ll go wait in the car. It’s just along the street here.’
‘I won’t be long, honest. I just need to make a couple of calls. There’s something I need to sort out.’
‘Okay, no problem.’ He seemed rather cool with her, which made her heart sink. But, it was no more than she deserved after cutting him down when he had opened his heart to her after the Christmas market that day.
‘Suits you, by the way,’ he added with his trademark grin. ‘The yellow.’ He nodded towards the hat, then winked at her.
‘Hah.’ She’d bet her red curls were springing out wildly from under the hat in all directions. It was nice to see h
im smile, and with those words he seemed to soften a little.
‘See you in a few minutes, then,’ he added.
‘Yes, I’ll wait.’
She saw Max coming out from the gates at the front of the property and stepped out of her car so he could see where she was parked. She felt so nervous it was crazy, her heart thumping away in her chest. He’d smiled just a while ago, seemed to be okay with her, she reminded herself.
He walked across. ‘Sorry to keep you hanging about.’
‘It’s fine. It’s not as though you knew I was coming.’
‘No, well it’s been a bit of a surprise, I must say. There’s a little coffee shop.’ He indicated towards the next street. ‘We could walk there.’
‘Yes, I’d spotted that on the way past. The super-duper banana milkshake place?’
‘That’s the one – well remembered.’
‘It led me to your door.’ She smiled.
‘Have you been okay?’ he asked more seriously.
‘Yes, well kind of,’ she replied. ‘Ah no, to be honest, I’ve had a tricky few weeks.’
‘Me too.’ He gave her a look that said so very much.
So, it seemed they had both been hurting, or was that too much to hope? Hah, and she’d thought she was avoiding all that for them. She wanted so much to feel him close, to have his warmth beside her. She took a chance and linked her arm through his as they walked along. He glanced down to where her elbow lay crooked against his, but didn’t pull away. Neither spoke. Sometimes words just got in the way.
In the coffee shop, they found a table by the window and ordered cappuccinos from the waitress. Emma realised she hadn’t had any breakfast yet, but her stomach was still doing too many somersaults to be able to eat.
‘So,’ Max started the conversation that they still hadn’t had, ‘are you going to try to explain? Why you never answered my texts, my calls for weeks and then blew me out at the market that day? Just when it seemed everything was going good between us. I’ve never known anyone blow so hot and then cold, Em. And now, you turning up like this? I really don’t know what the hell to make of it.’
God, she’d made such a mess of things.
‘We were getting on well. You were right about that.’ She gazed out of the window. How to capture it all in words? But she needed to try for Max’s sake. ‘I think I was afraid to let you in. Max, my heart has been in a thousand tiny pieces for years, and I’ve only just begun sticking it back together again … I – I couldn’t risk it again.’ She still hadn’t mentioned his name, didn’t know how it could fit in this conversation.
‘You can talk about Luke if you want. I’m okay with that. I know you’ve had a hard time and I’m prepared to be there for you, but don’t shut me out, Em. Be honest with me, tell me more about what happened with Luke?’
The waitress came back over with the cappuccinos, popped them down on the table with some sugar sachets in a white porcelain dish.
‘Thanks,’ Max said.
Emma nodded in acknowledgement. Her mind was already way back, all those years ago. ‘It – it was two days after my birthday, seven years ago. He was going off to work on his bicycle as usual. Luke was a teacher, we both were, that’s how we met. He loved cycling, wanted to keep fit and do his bit for the environment. Typical Luke, wanted to save the world, really. But the world didn’t save him …’ She paused, turning a sugar sachet over and over between her fingertips.
Max stayed quiet, waiting for Emma to carry on.
‘It was a lorry at traffic lights. Didn’t see him. Turned left straight into him.’ Emma stopped speaking for a second, the sugar sachet frozen in her hand. ‘The police said he didn’t stand a chance. At least it was instant. He wouldn’t have known, not other than that first second.’ How many times had she imagined that first horrendous second?
‘Em, I’m so sorry.’ Max’s hand settled gently over her own.
‘He was only twenty-nine.’
Emma went quiet and stared out of the café window, at the world going by, a mum with a toddler in a buggy, an old lady slowly, determinedly making her way down the street with her walking stick, cars passing, a van, a bicycle.
‘It wasn’t just Luke they destroyed that day,’ Emma took up again, ‘though that was bad enough, it was us, our whole future. Our wedding was booked for the following spring. My husband, my family – what I thought was going to be my life was wiped out, just like that. That lorry took away everything that was meant to happen.’ Her eyes were misted with tears but they hadn’t spilled. She wiped her nose with a napkin from the table. Max still held on to her other hand.
‘That’s a hell of a thing to deal with, Em.’
She nodded sadly.
‘So, where do we go from here, hey?’
Emma took a slow breath, looked Max in the eye. ‘Up.’
He let her have a few quiet moments, as they both sipped their drinks.
‘So how does dinner next Saturday sound?’
‘Good.’
‘I’ll come up to you. There’s a really good restaurant in Bamburgh I’d like to take you to.’
‘Sounds lovely … Oh shit!’ Emma stood up in a bit of a panic.
‘What? Can’t you make it?’
‘No, I’ve forgotten Alfie. He’s still in my car.’ Her poor dog had gone right out of her head, and oh my, he’d probably be bursting for a wee.
‘I’ll pay here, you go. I’ll catch you up,’ Max stated.
A few minutes later, Max was jogging down the road as Emma reached her car and swiftly opened the hatchback. Alfie seemed fine, waggy-tailed, and none the worse for his neglect. He bounced out of the boot, took a quick pee against a wall, and pulled on his lead to get to Max.
‘No harm done?’ Max said as he reached them, crouching down to rub the spaniel’s head affectionately.
‘No, he seems fine, thank heavens. Look, I’d really better get back and open up the shop.’
‘Yes, I’ll be needed back on site too. Thanks for coming, Em.’ He placed a hand on her shoulder and it felt warm and secure. ‘And I’ll see you Saturday. I’ll be there for about seven, if that’s okay?’
‘Sounds lovely.’
Despite the likelihood of Hi-Vis man reappearing across the road at any moment and a chap working up on the scaffolding at the front of the house, Max moved in for a kiss that promised so much. Alfie whimpered, probably feeling left out, which made them both pull away, laughing.
‘See you Saturday.’
45
The next few days at the shop kept her occupied. It was now December and it was beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. The Chocolate Shop Café had a steady stream of customers and her stocking fillers and gift boxes were starting to sell well. She had even sold a couple of her festive wicker hampers, priced at £30, which raised her takings considerably. There was always a lovely atmosphere in the shop at this time of year, even more so now her customers could stay and linger over a creamy hot chocolate or rich cup of coffee. It gave them a chance to chat and relax, and they would often glance over the goods on the shelves as well. The café had most certainly increased sales. The financial pressures had eased, thank heavens, though she was always aware that still the wolf – otherwise known as the Eel – was never too far from the door. But for now, nothing was going to spoil her festive fun – life was looking good.
Bev helped on a Wednesday and Friday, ten until three, which was great, as it gave Emma a chance to get on with crafting the chocolate, as well as them both serving customers when it got extra busy. It was lovely having her friend as company too. During a quiet ten minutes, she told Bev how she had been to visit Max, and admitted that Bev had been right: she had been afraid of a new relationship. She thanked her friend for being so honest.
‘Hey, no worries. I just want what’s best for you, Em, that’s all.’
Just then Mrs Clark trundled past the window and made her way in. The elderly lady had become even more of a regular now; she liked to prop hersel
f in the window seat and watch the world go by with her pot of tea for one and a chocolate-chip shortbread. If the shop was quiet, Emma would go over and chat, and ask how she was keeping. She didn’t have much family, having had no children of her own, but there were tales of the village ‘back in the day’, of fetes and dances, the old fisherfolk. She still bought her chocolate brazils, though she’d begun to complain they weren’t doing her dentures any good, a bit too crunchy. ‘Tough little buggers, those nuts in ’em.’ were her precise words, but, apparently, she just couldn’t resist them, and wasn’t prepared to give them up any time soon.
Bev went home at three and Emma stayed behind the counter. It was soon school-bus drop-off time and Holly came bounding in.
‘Hi, Emma, you okay?’
‘Yes, all good. You?’
‘Cool, thanks. Actually, I’ve a bit of a favour to ask.’ Holly pulled a pleading grimace as though it might be a biggie.
‘Go on,’ Emma said cautiously, ‘what is it?’
‘Oh Em, Adam’s just found out he’s got the day off work this Saturday, and he wants to take me to the Christmas markets in Edinburgh. But I know I should be working and it might be busy here and I don’t want to leave you in the lurch, but I do really want to go.’
‘Leave it with me just now.’ A Saturday, at this time of year, would be really hard to cover all by herself, but Holly never asked for the day off, and the look on her face told Emma how important it was to her. It sounded so gorgeous and romantic too. Edinburgh at Christmas time – she’d seen pictures of the markets, all beautifully lit up and bustling, with alpine-looking stalls, a Christmas Tree Maze, and a big wheel and all sorts of other exciting things, but she had never been at that time of the year herself. ‘Let me make a couple of calls and I’ll see if I can get some help in. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.’
‘Aw, thanks, Emma. If you can it would be so amazing. I’ll work extra another day, or cover a shift for you.’
‘Thanks, I might need that favour some time.’
The Cosy Christmas Chocolate Shop Page 27
