by Sj Hooks
"Blowing you?" She grinned. "Sure, what's not to like?"
"Please don't call it that," I groaned, closing my eyes. She made the whole thing sound so sordid and carnal, which it obviously was, but I didn't like to think of it in those terms. I opened my eyes again. She looked like a sweet, innocent girl with her pristine white robe and loose wavy hair, but she talked like an adult film actress. She was completely unashamed about sex, unlike me, who’d always kept it under the covers where I’d always believed it belonged.
"There's nothing wrong with calling things by their right names, you know?" she said.
"I know," I muttered, taking another sip of my beer.
"Say ‘blowjob,’ " she said, raising her chin slightly.
"What? No!"
"Pleeease?" she pouted.
"No.” I couldn’t help but smile, though.
"Come on, it's just one little word. We'll call it your vocabulary lesson for the day," she coaxed.
"No, I am not saying that," I said, laughing. “And I think that’s two words, actually, but I’d have to consult a dictionary to make sure.”
"Fine. What do you call it, then?" she asked, rolling over onto her stomach, crossing her ankles in the air.
"I don't call it anything.”
"So, imagine that you meet a friend and tell him that you got laid. Finish this sentence.” She lowered her voice to sound like a man. "Hey, bro, I scored with this chick last night and she totally gave me a…"
She looked at me expectantly, and I laughed again because she sounded just like Matt.
"What?" she asked.
"You sound just like my st—my brother," I said. "But I would never say something like that."
"Why not?"
"Well, that would be completely ungentlemanly of me, and since no one has ever done that to me besides you…you see where I'm going with this?"
"You haven't had a lot of sex," she concluded.
Understatement.
"No," I admitted sheepishly.
"I don't get it," she said. "Are you just really choosy with your partners?" She seemed genuinely puzzled by my lack of experience.
"Not really. I-I guess a lot of women just didn't choose me."
"Hmm," she said, cocking her head to the side.
Now she thinks I'm a complete loser.
"Well, screw them! Their loss is my incredible gain.”
"I'm hardly a prize," I said.
"Please," she scoffed, reaching for her beer. "You're good-looking, fun to be around, and great in the sack."
I didn't know which of her compliments shocked me the most: good-looking, fun, or great in bed. None of them fit with my perception of myself, but the comments thrilled me and I hoped that she was being truthful.
There was a knock on the door and she jumped up. I noticed that we’d been talking for a while and, surprisingly, I hadn't felt nervous at all. The conversation had flowed very easily between us and this was probably the most shocking thing—besides sleeping with her—that I could add to my “Things I like about Ms. Wilde” list.
I like talking to her.
"Thank God, I'm fucking starving!" she said, walking toward the door.
"Let me pay," I offered.
"I already did it online," she said with a smile. "But you can pay me back later if you'd like."
She gave me one of her winks and I realized that she was probably talking about the two of us engaging in more sexual activity. My mouth went dry and I gawked at her backside as she walked over to the door. It was entirely possible that she was naked underneath the thin satin robe.
Naked. Warm. Soft.
Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.
Chapter 9
Ms. Wilde opened the door, but it wasn’t the pizza delivery. I heard the unmistakable sound of girls’ voices.
“Hey! We were just driving by—”
“Move, Sophia. I need the bathroom!”
A moment later, Ms. Wilde was pushed aside as her two friends barged into the apartment, uninvited.
"Shit," I whispered.
Hang on, did I just say “shit”?
That's not the thing you should be focusing on right now, moron.
My eyes darted to Ms. Wilde, still holding the door open and wearing an irritated expression. Thankfully, her aggravation seemed to be directed at her two friends, who were now frozen in place, staring at me as though I were an exciting display at a museum.
"Holy shit!” the girl named Sophia exclaimed, turning to Ms. Wilde. "Isn't this your lit professor?"
Not after this gets out. I'll be her former lit professor who begs on the street with a sign that says “Will teach contemporary literature for food.” Oh, God, I'm going to starve.
Ms. Wilde sighed heavily and closed the door. "Yeah, this is Stephen." She walked over to where I was sitting in the armchair and faced me. "Stephen, you remember Sophia and Megan, right?"
I nodded.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered so quietly that I was sure only I could hear it.
She turned to her friends again and sat down on the armrest of the chair, right beside me. I experienced an overwhelming urge to wrap my arm around her as we faced the judgment of her two friends, but refrained, as it would only make things more incriminating.
“I really have to pee,” Megan announced, dashing toward the bathroom. “Don’t you dare say anything before I get back!”
We sat there in silence with Sophia grinning at us the whole time.
“Oh, this is ridiculous,” Ms. Wilde finally huffed. “What are you guys doing here? I told you I wanted to stay in tonight.”
“I’m sorry,” Sophia replied. “We thought we could watch a movie with you or something. We didn’t know you had company.”
Megan came out of the bathroom and didn’t waste a second before asking Ms. Wilde what I was doing there.
"We're hanging out," she answered simply.
"Huh," Megan said, appraising me. "He doesn't really seem like your type. Cute, for sure, but not what I expected."
Hello, I'm sitting right here!
“Sorry for crashing,” she added.
"That’s OK,” Ms. Wilde said, tilting her head to the side to stretch out her neck muscles.
Is she stressed?
Before I could stop myself, I moved my hand up and ran it down the length of her hair. Sophia noticed and smiled. I looked away and lowered my hand, but I could still feel her gaze on me.
Why did I have to do that?
"Look, guys, this can't get out, OK?" Ms. Wilde said in a firm tone. "It would really fucking suck for the both of us if people find out we’re seeing each other outside class.”
Both girls nodded.
"How long has this been going on?" Megan asked.
"Just this week," I heard myself reply.
"So…what’s the deal?" Sophia asked. "Are you guys dating?"
"No, we're just fucking," Ms. Wilde said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, OK," Megan said, as if that were a perfectly reasonable explanation.
Sophia was giving me a look I couldn't decipher.
What is she looking at? Do I have something on my face?
I ran my hand across my mouth and she looked away.
"I guess we should let you two get back to your night," Sophia said. "I'm really sorry, Jules. I just didn't think we had secrets between us."
"That's OK," she said. "And I'm sorry too. It's not that I didn't trust you.”
"I asked her not to tell anyone," I interjected. "You shouldn't blame Julia."
They both looked at me curiously before nodding.
"I guess we'll see you tomorrow, then," Megan said to Ms.—to Julia. It didn’t seem right to keep calling her Ms. Wilde in my head, when I couldn’t regard her as a student at this moment. If anything, she was the one teaching me.
"See you tomorrow, girls. Can you just forget that this happened?" she asked, opening the door for them.
They both laughed.
"Yeah, right," Sophia s
aid, turning to grin at me. "I wanna hear all about the hot professor sex first thing tomorrow!"
Oh, dear God.
"Get out of here before I go Rambo on you," Julia growled, practically pushing them out the door.
"Rambo?" Megan cackled. "There's a blast from the past!"
God, I’m so old.
"Have fun, Stephen!" Sophia called, giving me a quick wave before Julia slammed the door.
I could still hear them laughing outside as they walked down the stairs. Julia ran her hands through her hair and tilted her head back.
"Fuck," she whispered to the ceiling.
I watched as she opened one of her desk drawers and pulled out a rumpled pack of cigarettes. She walked over to the window, leaned out, and lit one up. Exhaling the smoke into the night air, she slumped forward, resting her elbows on the windowsill.
"Are you…all right?" I asked.
She nodded her head, taking another drag.
"Sorry, I don't usually smoke at home," she said. "I just really didn't want them to find out about you."
Right. I'm hardly something to brag about.
As if she’d heard my thoughts, she spun around, keeping her cigarette outside the window, for which I was very grateful.
"That didn't come out right," she said. "I'm not embarrassed, or anything like that. It’s just…they’re not going to shut up about this now."
"And you don't like talking about it?" I asked, surprised. I was under the impression that Julia enjoyed talking about sex.
"No, that's not it," she said quickly. "They'll hound me for private stuff about you—what you look like naked, and if you know how to go down on me properly."
Dear God, no! I don’t want them to know what I look like naked and my abilities in the “going down” department have never been tested. I’m probably horrible at it.
"I'm usually not afraid to divulge, but it's different with you. They might be in one of your classes next semester and I don't want them sitting there, thinking about your hot body," she said, turning to take a drag.
"I…thank you, I guess," I said, nearly draining my beer to get rid of my dry mouth.
Julia threw the cigarette out and turned, giving me a lopsided grin. "No, I should be the one saying thank you," she said. “You’re a pretty stellar lay.”
"Oh, well, you’re…um…stellar, too," I stuttered, feeling my face grow hot.
She merely smiled and excused herself before going into the bathroom. She came back a few minutes later, declaring herself minty fresh. It made me wonder if she’d brushed after the cigarette because she wanted to kiss me at some point. I found myself hoping she might.
"I'm really sorry we got busted like that,” she said, flopping down onto the bed. “But I swear that you can trust Meg and Sophia to keep their traps shut. They won't say anything to anyone. They're like sisters to me."
I nodded, hoping she was right. Her friends hadn't looked shocked when they found me here, which was very surprising. It put me at ease that they didn't judge me. They had just seemed curious rather than appalled.
"Have you told anyone?" she asked. "Your brother, or—"
"No!" I said, much too emphatically, and added, "I mean, not that I'm embarrassed either or anything like that, it's just, you know, against the rules, and I don't ever talk about, um, sex with anyone anyway, so, no. But, um, I guess it would be him if I told anyone, but I won't because, well, you know." I took off my glasses and scrubbed my face with my hands.
Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking.
She let out a small laugh and I looked up at her.
"You're funny," she giggled and jumped to her feet. "Do you want another beer?"
"I don't know. Maybe I should go."
"Oh, you don't want to stay?"
"No, I do," I said immediately. "I just didn't think you’d want me to after…you know." I motioned to the door where her friends had just left.
"They're not coming back tonight, and we might as well have fun if you're still interested.” She walked over to where I was sitting. "Are you still interested?" she asked, smiling.
"Uh-huh.”
She sat down in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I had fun last time, didn't you?"
I nodded, swallowing nervously. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine before pulling away.
"I don’t taste like smoke, do I?" she asked. “I know you don’t like that.”
"Not at all.” I wasn’t sure it would have stopped me from kissing her if she had, though.
She pressed her lips against mine again and I groaned when I felt her tongue requesting access. My hands on her waist gripped a little tighter as my thumbs rubbed circles just below her chest. She moaned softly before grabbing my right hand, sliding it under the neckline of her robe and placing it on her naked breast. I cupped it gently and marveled at the contrast between the softness of the mound and the hardness of her puckered nipple. She angled her head slightly and deepened the kiss, while her hands caressed my face and then moved to my hair. It all felt so good, and I especially liked it when she moaned, kissing me deeper, when I started massaging her breast a bit more firmly.
There was a knock on the door and I groaned in frustration when she pulled away.
"Don't worry," she said with a smile. "We'll continue this later." She climbed off my lap. "Will you get the pizza and I'll get us some more drinks?"
That would be really embarrassing for me.
"Um, it's not that I don't want to help you, but I, uh, I need a minute to…collect myself," I explained. Her eyes darted to my lap. The predicament I was in due to the heated kiss we had just shared was clearly visible.
"Oh." She grinned. "Sorry, I didn't think about that. You stay here, then."
She walked to the door and I was grateful that this time it was actually a pizza delivery guy on the other side. That is, until his eyes traveled over her scarcely clad body and I felt a tightening in my chest. I could see that he desired her and it made me feel angry.
Stop looking at her like that.
I jumped out of my chair and before I could think about what I was doing, I’d walked over, wrapping my arms around Julia from behind. The guy gave me a sour look, and for some reason I liked it a lot.
"Have a good night," he said, clearly only meaning Julia.
"We will," I said, leaning down to kiss the side of her neck. The guy glared at me again and turned to walk down the stairs. Julia turned her head, giving me a curious look.
"I'm sorry," I said, letting go of her. "I don't know why I did that."
"I do," she said, heading into the kitchen. I followed and heard her mutter, “Men.”
"I'm sorry," I said again. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable, Stephen, but you probably shouldn't do something like that again." She stood up on her toes and kissed me lightly. "That wasn't exactly the stealthiest move back there. We need to keep this secret for both our sakes, right?"
I nodded.
"I can't have you getting all territorial with me."
Territorial? Is that what she thinks I was doing? That wasn't it at all…was it?
"I don't think I was being territorial," I said.
"Yes, you were," she argued. "You saw the pizza guy ogling the girl you're fucking and you wanted to show him that I was off limits. Typical guy behavior."
I gaped at her while she smiled.
"It's OK, Stephen. You just can't do stuff like that on campus, if a guy flirts with me or asks me out. I have to be your student when we're in school and nothing else."
I knew that she was right.
"Besides, I'm not sleeping with anyone else, so you don't have to worry," she added.
"You're not?"
"No, sleeping with two people at the same time gets complicated and I don't do complicated. As long as you're fucking me, no one else is," she said.
&n
bsp; "Oh, that's good, I suppose," I said. "Um, what about dating?" I asked, remembering my possible blind date with Lily.
"I don't date. Dating leads to boyfriends, and I don't do relationships. I like to keep things simple, you know?"
"I guess so," I said, although I really didn't. I had never considered having sex with someone I wasn't dating.
"Stephen?"
"Yes?”
"I like fucking you and I like hanging out with you," she said. "But if that isn't your sort of thing, that's perfectly fine."
What exactly is she saying? She wants to keep doing this?
"You…you want to do this again?" I asked her.
"Sure," she said with a smile. "You can come by a few nights a week when both of us are free."
I thought about what she was offering: physical pleasure with no strings attached. Was such a thing even possible? More important, did I want something like that? I wanted to have sex with her again. And I did like talking to her as well. At least, I did when she wasn't being argumentative and stubborn. She seemed so different here in her apartment than she did in class, but it didn’t change the fact that she was my student and seeing her privately wasn’t allowed. All my life I had played by the rules, and I’d never thought I would find myself in this position, doing something that put my career at risk. Julia was still holding me around my waist, looking expectantly at me while I struggled to come to the right decision.
"Look, you don't have to answer right this second," she said. "Think about it, OK?"
I nodded and she reached up again, giving me a quick kiss.
"Let's eat before it gets cold.”
I watched silently while she grabbed the pizza and two beers from the refrigerator. She put the box on the bed with some napkins and placed our drinks on the nightstand. All the while, I was still trying to figure out how it would work if I did come back here again another night. Could I really just come by her place and have casual sex whenever it was convenient? I knew this wasn’t how one should treat a woman. But Julia didn’t seem to care at all about stuff like that. She was the one who’d suggested continuing our pleasurable, albeit strange arrangement and while I’d found that I liked that she was so free with her sexuality, it still went against my sense of propriety.
"Hey.” She interrupted my musings. "You're thinking way too much about this. Come have some food and just relax for a while."
