by Cross, Amy
“You're a smart boy.”
“So is it true?” I ask again. “Is my sister alive?”
She pauses, before taking a step toward me.
“Honestly, Thomas,” she says after a moment, “I have no idea and I don't really care.”
“Then why did you -”
“Loyalty,” she continues, cutting me off. “Willingness to follow. Call it what you will, but I need everyone to come to Boston with me. If that means telling some little white lies to people, giving them hope where before there wasn't any, then that's what I'll do.”
“How many other people did you lie to?”
“As many as necessary. Quite a few, to be honest.”
“And you swore them all to secrecy?” I continue.
“Obviously one of them blabbed to you,” she replies. “I think I can guess which one.”
“You can't just lie to people!”
“Of course I can, if it serves the ultimate purpose of getting us all to Boston. I need to get into that city, Thomas, and I need to do it as a free woman, not as a prisoner or as a beggar. The people there are dangerous and I need to arrive with some leverage. But it's taken longer than I anticipated to prepare us for that move, and we've been sitting around here twiddling out thumbs for over a month now. I noticed a certain lack of application on the part of some people, and I intervened to... motivate them.”
“By lying to them. By pretending that their loved ones were waiting for them.”
“Yes.”
“And you admit that?”
“Yes.”
“And you're not sorry?”
“It's a shame it had to happen,” she replies, “but it was entirely necessary. I know some of the people who are gathered in Boston, Thomas, and they have to be stopped. I worked with at least a few of them, and their ideas are extremely dangerous.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I tried to warn others about them in the past,” she continues, “and I ended up being pushed out of the scientific community. I was shunned, ostracized, all for raising legitimate concerns. Eventually I withdrew and waited, hoping against hope that my warnings would be heeded.”
She turns and heads over to a bench, where the flashlight's beam picks out various pieces of equipment.
“Diane Clark, in particular, is extremely dangerous,” she explains. “She and her allies believe that humanity has a right to swarm all over this planet, like ants. They believe that technology should enable us to support more and more people, to give billions of people a good life. They were going to drive us to extinction before this disaster, and now they want to push us back there. They want to return us to the days of mass over-population.”
“Maybe they just want to save people,” I point out.
“They're well-meaning idiots,” she replies, glancing at me. “Let's be honest, Thomas. Think back a hundred and one day, to just before all of this started. Of the seven-plus billion people on this planet, how many of them truly mattered?”
“You can't say things like that,” I tell her.
“This mass extinction event was a happy accident,” she explains, “and it gave us a chance to reorganize. To adjust our approach to civilization. I won't let that opportunity slip through our fingers, just because a bunch of do-gooders in Boston are too afraid to face the difficult questions. Better to have a small number of people who live well, than billions who live crushed together in misery. And if doing the right thing means that I go down in history as a villain, then so be it. At least I'll know that I did the right thing for our species.”
She looks down for a moment at her equipment.
“But I was wrong to lie to you,” she add, “and to lie to all the others, and I see that now. I was hoping to figure something out once we reached Boston, but...”
Her voice trails off, and then she turns to me.
“Thank you, Thomas,” she continues, “you've helped me understand something. Tonight we leave for Boston, to join the other groups that are already on their way there. But first, I think I have to set something right.”
8pm
Elizabeth
“We're gonna blow some mother-fucking heads off,” Natalie says as she pulls her locker open and takes out her rifle. “If people think they can come and destroy what we've got going here, they've got another thing coming. They're gonna learn the hard way that they can't mess with Boston.”
“We don't know for sure that there's going to be any fighting,” I point out, hoping for the best even though I know I must sound horribly naive. “This might be a false alarm.”
“Do you really think so?” she asks. She starts checking her rifle, and I can't help noticing that she seems breathless, almost cocky. For a moment she pauses, staring at the weapon with a sense of wonder. “This is destiny calling,” she adds finally. “Do you realize that, Lizzie? Destiny's calling us all out there onto the battlefield, and we're going to learn who we really are. Maybe this is what I've been waiting for. Maybe this is why I've been kept alive.”
“Kept alive?”
“I told you,” she says, turning to me, “it's like I've been protected from all those bullets.”
“You don't seriously believe that, do you?” I ask. “You've been lucky, Natalie, that's all.”
“Nobody's that lucky,” she replies. “Are you finding it hard to believe, Lizzie? Don't you get it yet? There's some kind of force that's working behind the scenes, making sure that we're able to succeed. If you don't see that right now, Lizzie, then that's fine, but it's coming. Destiny has led us to this moment and destiny will take us through it to whatever's next. That's why I'm not afraid of the coming battle. I embrace it.”
“Because you don't think you'll die?”
“If I do, it'll be for a good cause. But the truth is, I really believe that I'm being saved for something. Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to what that thing might be, but I'm ready to meet it head on. I just have to make sure that I'm ready. This battle is just going to be a blip, that's all. We just have to go out there, get it done, defeat the enemy, and move on to the next stage. Honestly, all this fighting is only going to make us stronger.”
I open my mouth to ask whether she really thinks all of this is true, but then I realize that the look of sheer mania in her eyes is already enough of an answer.
“Nice suit, by the way,” she says with a smile. “Since when did you go around in one of those contamination suits? Got an extra job, did you?”
“You're getting ahead of yourself,” I point out. “Like I said, we still don't know that there's going to be a battle at all.”
“We do now,” a voice says, and I turn to see Violet is standing in the doorway. She looks terrified. “The patrol came back just after sunset,” she adds. “Zombies are coming. And an army. It's really war.”
***
“I'm not going to lie to you,” Diane says as she stands on a makeshift stage, addressing the gathered soldiers out here in the yard. “While we can stop the zombies, we're going to have a much harder task with the hundreds and hundreds of armed enemy combatants heading this way. I'm asking all of you to believe in our project today, to believe in Boston, and to do whatever it takes to repel the attack on our city.”
“Hell, yeah,” Natalie mutters under her breath, as a murmur of approval ripples out across the crowd.
“As I speak,” Diane continues, “our forces are mounting an early attack to destroy the zombies. That's the easy part. The harder part will come in about two hours from now, which is when we anticipate the first wave of enemy combatants reaching our perimeter. They seem to be well-armed and well-equipped. I'm sure I don't have to tell you all that they represent the absolute antithesis to our work here in Boston.”
There's only one functional light out here so, as I look around, I can see little more than the silhouettes of heads stretching as far as the eye can see. I don't know how many people are gathered here, but there are a little over four hundred people
living in Boston right now and at least fifty or so of them are either too young or too sick to fight. I guess we probably have slightly fewer than four hundred fully-able soldiers, whereas reports are suggesting around six or seven hundred soldiers have been spotted coming this way.
We're out-numbered and out-gunned, but for the first time I actually have faith in the Council. Maybe it's just desperation that's making me feel this way, but I feel as if we have a chance.
“I've been waiting my whole life for this,” Natalie says, as Diane continues to speak.
Turning, I see that Natalie is staring straight ahead, as if she's in some kind of trance.
“I never had meaning in my life before” she adds. “I was just a scrappy kid. I never really believed in anything. Hell, I never really cared about anything except my dog. But now I feel like I can contribute, like I can actually stand up and do something meaningful.” She puts a clenched fist against her chest, directly above her heart. “Tonight, I'm going to make up for all my stupidity. I'm going to help save the world.”
“We're just going to be gunned down like fools,” another voice says, and I turn to see Violet standing nearby. She's staring straight ahead too, but there are tears in her eyes. “It's just like every other fight. The people who start it are gonna be nice and safe, while we're the grunts who go out there and take a load of bullets.”
“You've got to believe in what we're fighting for,” Natalie tells her. “Where's your pride, dude?”
Violet doesn't reply. Instead she continues to stare forward, watching and listening as Diane speaks. After a moment, however, a tear rolls down Violet's cheek. I look down at her hands and see that she's trembling with fear.
“It won't come to war,” I say, turning back to Natalie. “Things don't have to be like this.”
“Of course they do,” she replies with a smile. “If you believe in something, you have to be ready to fight for it. You have to be ready to die for it. And I am, Lizzie. For the first time in my life, I'm ready to do something important. I just wish I could be on one of those helicopters that's going out to burn the zombies. I was so good on those helicopters, I can't believe I haven't been up there again.”
“Everyone will be assigned to an outpost near the perimeter,” Diane continues. “You'll be given a job to do, and weapons, and after that you'll be on your own. We simply don't have the numbers to pair people up. Each outpost will hold between three and six individuals, depending on the outpost's size, but you won't be able to work in pairs. I can't emphasize this enough. Each of you will have to work alone, and you'll have to stick to the orders that you've been given. And that, I promise you, is how we're going to win the battle for Boston.”
***
This gun is heavy, heavier than the ones I've been using so far. It's a little longer, too, but in every other way it seems pretty familiar. I'm standing alone in one of the locker rooms, practising how to use this thing, hauling it off my shoulder over and over again and then turning to face an imagined foe.
“Blam,” I whisper, before turning again.
I see another.
“Blam.”
I keep doing this, trying to get myself into the right mindset. Every so often I hear voices yelling in the distance, and the sound of people running, but I know we still have a little time before it's time to go out to the outposts. I've already been assigned to number nine, which is one of the smaller positions. I guess my job will be to pick off enemy combatants as they approach past the old packaging depot, which shouldn't be too difficult. Not for someone with good aim, at least.
I imagine another enemy, and I aim at him for a moment before pretending to pull the trigger.
“Blam,” I say under my breath.
In my mind's eye, the man drops down against the muddy ground and I'm already alert for the next danger. I turn toward the doorway and aim my gun again, and I can't help but notice that my hands are very firm. There's none of the trembling that I remember from before. It's as if the seriousness of the oncoming threat has finally forced me to just focus on getting the job done. Maybe I was overthinking things before and allowing myself to worry too much. Maybe I can be a soldier after all.
“Blam,” I whisper.
I turn the gun again.
Suddenly I see her.
The girl in the white dress is standing next to the one of the bunks, staring straight at me. I can see blood on one side of her face, but it's her eyes that are truly shocking: she has the same expression I saw when I went over to her in the yard, the same dead look that seems slightly glazed over. At the same time, she's staring straight at me, and after a moment she takes a step closer.
“You're not real,” I tell her.
She stops and stares at me for a moment longer, and then she steps closer again.
“You're not real,” I say again.
She stares, and then she steps closer still.
“You're not real,” I tell her for a third time, determined to keep my head together.
I blink.
And she's gone.
I don't dare move, not at first, but finally I look around and see that there's no sign of the girl. Having seen her body in the pit, I now know for certain that she's gone, and that these visions of her have been nothing more than hallucinations. Not that this knowledge made it much easier to actually push the visions away, but right now I don't have time to go crazy, so I aim the gun for a moment longer at the spot where she was standing and then I pretend to pull the trigger.
“Blam,” I say out loud. “I'm sorry.”
“So sincere,” Bob's voice says, sneering at me from behind. “I'm sure your apology was a lot of comfort to her at the moment when -”
“And you can fuck off too,” I say, turning and seeing him, then miming pulling the trigger. “Blam.”
He raises an amused eyebrow, but in that instant he disappears. I keep the gun aimed at him for a moment longer, just in case he comes back.
“Lizzie?” a voice says. “What are you going?”
Turning, I aim the gun at the figure in the doorway, but then I lower it as soon as I see Natalie staring at me with a furrowed brow.
“Sorry,” I reply. “Target practice.”
“Uh-uh.” She rolls her eyes. “Sometimes you worry me, Lizzie Marter. You really do. But we can fix you once we've won the battle for Boston.” She smiles. “Are you ready for war?”
“Yeah,” I say, slinging my gun over my shoulder and heading over to join her, “I'm ready.”
9pm
Thomas
“In an hour or so, we finally set off for Boston,” Sarah Carter says as she stands on a platform, addressing us all. A single light picks out her face as rain begins to fall. “We're going to join the other convoys in a great battle to take the city.”
I feel a knot of fear in my chest, getting tighter by the second.
“First, however,” she continues, “I have a confession to make. I have done something very cruel, something that I want to put straight. Over the past few days, I have lied to many of you, I have told you individually that I have located your loved ones and that after the fight or Boston you'll be reunited with them. I was lying. I haven't located anyone for you, and it's highly unlikely that any of your loved ones are alive somewhere out there.”
A murmur of anger starts to spread, rippling through the crowd. For a moment, I actually start to wonder whether people might be about to turn violent. After all, they're basically being told that they were tricked into lending their support to this entire enterprise, and I wouldn't be surprised if their anger spilled over into a desire for revenge.
“But I want you to understand why I lied,” Carter adds. “The truth is, this upcoming battle could not be more important. It's a battle for the future, a battle to decide who gets to shape humanity's next stage. That's why I panicked and lied, a move that I now deeply regret. I want to thank Thomas Edgewater for making me understand that I was wrong, and for showing me that I should instead tel
l the truth.”
I look around, and I can tell that the others are all shocked. Spotting Toad in the crowd, I see that he's looking down at the ground. I know how much that Lizzie girl means to him, and he must be heartbroken to have had his hope snatched away so cruelly.
I feel the same way about Martha.
“The people in Boston want to restore the world to how it was,” Carter says, “which will only mean another inevitable disaster along the way. They will lie and cheat to put things back in order, so that they can retake their positions of power. I've lied to you, but I did so with good intentions and now here I am, admitting to that lie and asking for your forgiveness, and asking that you come with us to Boston so that we can save what's left of our species. Are you all with me?”
No-one says anything. No-one claps. In that moment, I realize that Sarah Carter has failed miserably. She must be the most hated woman in the world right now. Maybe she thought that her little speech about honesty would encourage people to 'connect' with her, to trust her, but if anything it's had the opposite effect.
This whole crusade is going to fall apart before it even gets going.
***
“What, you're still going to Boston?” I ask, shocked, as I hurry along with Toad toward the parked vehicles. “After everything she just said? Why?”
“Because she was honest with us,” he says, tossing a bag into the back of one of the trucks and then turning to me. “No bullshit lies. No propaganda. No easy solutions. She told the truth, finally, and that's more than anyone else was doing back in the days before this disaster hit.”
“She told the truth about having lied to you!”
“And I understand why she did that. It can't have been easy, keeping morale up while we all sat around waiting for our orders to get going. Sometimes leaders have to do whatever it takes.”
“I didn't think you were so keen on being manipulated and bossed around,” I tell him.
“It's not that simple, Thomas,” he says with a sigh. “This isn't the time for just sitting around, contemplating our navels. We have to decide whether we want to be part of the future, or part of the past. And when the choice is that stark, I can't help myself. I'm going to choose the future.”
