by Mary May
Rachel smiled. “Well, ok, if you’re absolutely sure you will be ok alone, but you call me if you need me for anything, you understand?” Rachel was fiercely protective of Sabrina, always had been since the third grade. Rachel finally gathered her things and left.
Sabrina slowly closed the door behind her and then stood facing the door. She was scared to turn around and face the empty house. She closed her eyes and said a short prayer for courage and strength before taking a deep breath and slowly turning around.
Gideon felt his stomach tie up in knots as he watched Sabrina face the empty house. He wanted so badly to reveal himself to her, to show her she wasn’t alone. But it turned out to be unnecessary.
Sabrina finally looked up and slowly looked around the house. She looked at the living room where all the pictures of her and Luke smiled at her; she saw the small box on the mantle next to the wedding picture that held sea shells from their honeymoon trip to Jamaica. She walked over and opened it up, looking at the tiny shells; she closed her eyes, remembering the trip.
The sun was so warm and the sand was soft beneath her feet, but it was Luke that she remembered most. How the sunlight brought out the blonde streaks in his hair and turned his eyes the soft brown that was her favorite. He was so pale that she had to keep slathering on the sunscreen to keep him from cooking completely. They had built a sandcastle complete with a moat that had turned out surprisingly well, thanks mostly to Luke’s engineering skills. Sabrina just helped make it pretty.
They had taken a long walk later that night along the beach, the moon was full and it was a warm balmy evening with ocean breezes lifting her hair off her neck and keeping them comfortable. Watching the waves rolling onto the shore, she had commented that it was a perfect moment and she wanted time to just stop. Luke had turned her in his arms and said, “No way are you robbing me of all the beautiful moments that are yet to be, Mrs. Blakely! I want to wake up to your beautiful face for the rest of my life. I want to see your tummy grow from our babies.”
“Babies, do we want more than one?” Sabrina laughed.
“I want a houseful!” Luke answered. He picked her up and swung her around for a few circles before setting her back down. He looked down into her eyes and whispered, “I want it all, the kids, the mortgage, the laundry, and the family dinners. I want sleepless nights from newborns, the crazy school schedules, and ballet and soccer practices to get them to.”
Sabrina laughed. “That sounds wonderful, but what about your plans? Your life is pretty well mapped out, Luke; kids have a way of laying waste to a good plan.”
Luke took her hand and they continued walking down the beach. “I didn’t necessarily mean we should start our family immediately; I would like you to myself for a few years. By then I will have my Masters in engineering and we can buy a bigger house.”
Sabrina opened her eyes. The shells looked blurry now. She blinked a few times to clear her eyes of the tears that were already starting to overflow and she continued on to the kitchen.
The old refrigerator caught her eye first. It had to be sixty years old and was prone to stop working at any given time. They had picked it up at a garage sale for twenty bucks. Luke couldn’t believe Sabrina wanted it, but she thought it was charming and felt that if she didn’t get it they would haul it to the dump! She had painted it bright yellow and on a whim painted colorful lizards and cactuses on it. She smiled and ran her hand over the door then walked to the table.
The table was Luke’s grandmother’s and was truly beautiful. Made of oak, it was oblong and stained with a light pecan finish. The feet and legs were ornate and, in her opinion, made for her to stump her toes on. Sabrina remembered the first meal she had prepared as a new bride. She had attempted to make barbeque chicken, but had forgotten it. It was so badly charred she had to throw the pan and all away. But Luke had just laughed at her tearful expression, hugged her; then they had a pizza delivered.
Sabrina walked on into the spare bedroom; she could still smell her mother’s perfume in the air, Channel No.5. Even here memories of Luke filled her mind. They had argued over what the bedroom would be used for. Luke wanted a home office; Sabrina wanted a craft room. They had compromised and it was a spare bedroom with a desk and a craft closet.
The third bedroom was always going to be the nursery, so they had just used it for storage until she found out she was pregnant. She walked to the nursery door and slowly opened it. Someone had put up the crib; it was white with little lambs and pasture scenes on the ends. She ran her hands over the rails.
Gideon stood and watched as Sabrina held on to the rails with both hands. She had her head down and he could see her shoulders shaking. Sabrina cried so quietly, with just the occasional gasp and sniffle. “Oh, Jesus, I just don’t understand why.” She prayed softly. “Luke would have been such a wonderful father and was looking forward to this baby so much!” She stood for few moments more then turned and left the nursery.
The only place left to go was the bedroom. Sabina had, of course, been in here and had slept here every night since returning from the hospital, but she had just been on auto pilot, so to speak. She was careful not to think about Luke never being in here again. She walked into the bedroom and opened her mind to the memories.
The full size bed was in the middle of the room. Its brown and green spread with geometric shapes had appealed to Luke’s mathematical personality. The fluffiness of the spread was what had appealed to Sabrina and her cold feet. The large painting over the bed was of a meadow scene with wild flowers and mountains in the background. This was another garage sale treasure they had picked up for a few dollars. They had always said they wanted to build a cabin in the middle of that painting and live there. Sabrina remembered the first night together in their bed; Luke had been so sweet and loving. He had treated her like she was a priceless treasure. She had felt that was as close to heaven as a person could get without actually going there. Afterwards he had held her and they had whispered about their dreams for their future together. They had talked and laughed and loved until the sun was breaking the horizon the next morning. Sabrina sat down on the side of the bed. Tears were streaming down her face, but she was smiling. This was not a cold empty house at all; everywhere she looked memories of Luke surrounded her and reminded her of how much he loved her. She prayed, “Thank you, Lord, for showing me that even though Luke isn’t here with me physically, his love will never leave me alone.”
Chapter 6
Gideon kept his eye on Sabrina; she was acting out of sorts tonight. She appeared restless and unable to get comfortable. She had been cleaning like a woman possessed these last few weeks and the house fairly sparkled. Nesting is what he overheard the ladies at the doctor’s office call it. Apparently a woman gets the urge to scrub every surface of the home before the baby arrives.
The nursery was finished, and Gideon was glad the theme could be for either a boy or a girl. She had the room painted a light green with little lambs chasing each other around the edges of the ceiling. A rocking chair was sitting in the corner with a white fleecy blanket hanging off the back. A small dresser was along the wall next to the window that had white curtains with a green leaf print on them. A lamp with little ceramic lambs gathered around the feet of Jesus sat next to the crib on a high table. She had carpet installed that was the color of sand, with throw rugs in front of the rocking chair and crib. The closet was full of baby clothes; these were suited for a boy, but most still had the tags still on them. Apparently Sabrina was going to wait until the baby was born before removing all the tags. Smart girl, Gideon thought. She had washed a few suits of clothes for bringing the baby home in. She had packed a bag two weeks ago and had bought diapers and bottles and a mind-blowing amount of other baby things. Gideon didn’t see how one very small human child could possibly need all this stuff!
One thing he was overjoyed about. Sabrina had told her mother not to come until after the baby was born. Catherine was planning on staying two weeks after the birth. Gideon felt
his stomach clench up at the thought of that overbearing woman getting her hands on Charlie. He was thankful the woman did not live nearby and hopefully wouldn’t have much influence on the child.
Sabrina moaned in her sleep and brought Gideon out of his thoughts. She rolled over to her back and was rubbing her belly. She sat up in bed and scooted up to the head and turned on the lamp. She looked a little panicked. “Oh, boy, I think this is it, baby Lukey,”…she whispered.
Gideon paced the delivery room floor, not even trying to avoid the different nurses that were hurrying in all different directions; he just let them walk right through him. Sabrina was on the delivery table. Her face was bright red from her efforts and she looked like she could keel over any second. Gideon didn’t know how women could keep doing this; some had numerous children!
The doctor finally walked in,” Ok! Let’s have this baby!”
Sabrina shot him a look then said, “You can take this last part then, right?”
The doctor laughed and sat down between her bent knees, “I’m afraid not, but I’ll catch him for you.” He checked Sabrina then said, “Ok, you’re ready. Let’s start really pushing!”
Sabrina bore down with all her might. She felt like she was being ripped in two. She could feel the baby slip further down in the birth canal. The pressure was getting worse and she honestly didn’t think she could take any more.
“That’s it. Keep pushing; you are almost there!” The doctor encouraged her.
Gideon hovered at Sabrina’s head. He put his hand on her shoulder to offer her strength, and Sabrina actually glanced up when he touched her.
“One more, give me one more big push, Sabrina! Give me all you got. The head is crowning!”
Sabrina gripped the rails on the side of the bed and again bore down with every ounce of strength she had left. A scream tore out of her throat. Gideon heard a wet smacking sound, then the wail of a newborn.
Gideon saw the doctor passed little Charlie to the nearest nurse. Sabrina struggled to catch her breath. “Is he ok?” she finally asked. The nurses all laughed and Sabrina looked puzzled. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong with baby Luke?”
The doctor came to her side. “Nothing is wrong with the baby, Sabrina, but you may want to reconsider the name. You have a beautiful baby girl!”
Gideon watched as they cleaned Charlie up. He wasn’t sure he agreed with the doctor’s announcement, of the beautiful part. Charlie looked like a furless rat, in his opinion, and her head was shaped funny. He came closer and Charlie let out another wail, then she opened her eyes and looked up at Gideon, and he felt a shift in his chest when her eyes landed on him.
Sabrina held the little bundle that was her daughter; she smiled down at the perfect little face. She had already pulled the blankets away and examined every inch of the child, ten little fingers, ten little toes, two arms, two legs, two eyes, a mouth and a button nose. She was perfect.
Gideon had revised his earlier opinion of baby Charlie. Once she had time to get herself together, he thought she was really quite fetching.
“A girl, you’re a little girl!” Sabrina laughed. “Well, that changes things just a bit doesn’t it? Your daddy would have been so proud of you, sweetie. Oh, how I wish he could be here now.” Sabrina wiped a tear away.” We are going to have to figure out what to name you; your mama wasn’t prepared for a little girl.” Charlie didn’t appear to be too concerned about a name at that moment. She was more interested in the finger that Sabrina offered her, and she suckled on Sabrina’s knuckle.
“It looks like she is ready for a bottle!” Both Sabrina and Gideon looked up startled. Neither had noticed the door open or the nurse come in until she spoke; they were both too entranced with baby Charlie. The nurse handed Sabrina a warm bottle. “See if she would like this instead of your finger.” The nurse asked if Sabrina was comfortable or if she was in pain. When Sabrina assured her they were fine, she took her leave.
Sabrina took the bottle and slipped it between Charlie’s lips. Once the nipple was in Charlie’s mouth, she took over from there. Sabrina just marveled at her daughter while she fed her for the first time. “I had decided to name you after your daddy Luke and my daddy Allen, but I’m thinking that really wouldn’t be appropriate now, do you?”
Gideon knew that Sabrina’s middle name was Maria so he figured that’s where Marie came from, but as far as he knew there wasn’t a Charlotte in her family.
“When I was a little girl, I had an imaginary playmate, or that’s what your grandmother called her. I think I must have had an extraordinary imagination, because I can still remember what this lady looked like.” Sabrina looked down at Charlie who had now fallen asleep, but Sabrina kept on with her story anyway. “She was so beautiful! She had long dark hair and the lightest green eyes I have ever seen. She always wore this flowing white dress that swished when she walked, and she never wore shoes. Even her feet were pretty.”
Gideon listened intently; the lady she was describing sounded a lot like a guardian he had seen in Heaven years ago.
“She always smelled like roses and would play games with me. Then one day she just didn’t come anymore. I must have been around three or four.” Sabrina paused in her story. She took the bottle from Charlie’s mouth and shifted her to her shoulder, gently patting her back until she gave a slight burp. After she had settled her back in her arms, Sabrina scooted down further in the bed until she was lying down on her side with Charlie cocooned by her. “I always wondered why Charlotte never came back.” Sabrina looked down at the sleeping baby. “You know what? I think that was mommy’s Guardian angel.” Sabrina gave a huge jaw-cracking yawn. “Charlotte is a pretty name, don’t you think?” Sabrina didn’t wait for a reply; she closed her eyes and fell into a deep exhausted sleep.
Gideon watched as Sabrina and baby Charlie slept. Sabrina’s story had actually touched on a question he had. A Guardian stayed with the human until homecoming, so Charlotte should still be here. Why was it necessary to have two guardians over both the mother and the child? Gideon shook his head. This Guardian business was entirely too complex for him.
Chapter 7
“Here, darling, let me take the baby for you.” Catherine Avila was back with a vengeance. She had come into the hospital with a truckload of flowers and balloons. Gideon had to grind his teeth when she came in throwing orders around. The nurses quickly learned to avoid Sabrina’s room trying to stay away from her mother. Fortunately for the nurses, Sabrina was leaving today and taking her mother with her. Unfortunately for Gideon, she was going to be staying for another eleven days, twelve hours and forty three minutes before she had to leave to catch her flight back home. Not that he was counting.
When they arrived back at Sabrina’s house, Catherine had arranged a huge coming home party, with balloons and flowers and people that Sabrina didn’t even know. Sabrina looked around in dismay. “Who are all these people?”
The lawn was overflowing with ladies her mother’s age. They were milling around in groups talking and laughing. They were holding paper plates loaded with stuff Gideon couldn’t identify. When they saw the car pull up into the drive, they all came hurrying over to see the grandchild of Catherine Avila.
Sabrina gasped then slammed her hand down on the door lock. “Mother, you take me to a hotel right now.” Sabrina locked eyes with her mother and Gideon could see the mother cougar come out in Sabrina. “I don’t know a single soul here and I’m not letting Charlotte out of this car with that mob waiting to pounce, do you understand me, Mother?”
Catherine looked shocked. “Leave? That would be incredibly rude, Sabrina! My friends have all flown all this way and prepared this wonderful party for you and little Charlotte. Why would you want to leave?”
Sabrina didn’t back down an inch. “Mother, this party was thrown for you, so all your friends could gush over what a fabulous grandmother you are. It doesn’t have a thing to do with Charlotte or me and if you do not put this car into reverse and take me somew
here else, your visit is over.” Catherine stared at Sabrina for a few moments and then, apparently deciding that Sabrina wasn’t kidding, she put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway.
Gideon sat in the back seat with his mouth hanging open. He couldn’t believe Sabrina finally stood up to her mother. Apparently giving birth had given her a little backbone. Gideon wished he could have recorded the look on Catherine’s face when Sabrina had stared her down. He continued to sit and watch to see who would break the silence first.
He didn’t have to wait long; Charlie woke up from her nap and demanded some attention. Gideon smiled down at the little face that studied him so seriously. It was still disconcerting to have someone that could actually see him. He waved a finger in front of her, and Charlie watched as it moved from one side to the other. Yes, she could definitely see him. It was kind of nice to have someone who could at least notice his existence. But it wasn’t Gideon that Charlie wanted at the moment; she screwed up her little face and let out a startling loud wail, for someone so tiny. Sabrina reached from the front seat to rock the infant seat, making soothing shushing noises.
“Mother, there is a Relax and Stay Inn a few blocks from here that will do fine.” Sabrina continued to tend to Charlie.
“I cannot believe that I just drove off without even telling my friends why!” Catherine wailed almost as loud as Charlie. “What will they say? Oh, how embarrassing! I demand an explanation, Sabrina!”
Sabrina calmly turned her attention back to her mother. “Mother, I promise if we talk about this, you won’t like what I have to say.”
“Well, I just can’t imagine what possible reason you had for treating my friends so rudely; I just don’t know how I’ll ever face them again!” Catherine sighed dramatically.
Gideon felt like he was watching a tennis match; he would look at one woman then the other as they battled it out. Sabrina would try to explain how Catherine would not ever consider her feelings when she planned her big events and that maybe she would just like to come home to a quiet house with Charlotte and recuperate.
