I could feel the bile rising in my throat, and quickly knelt over the toilet knowing I would be sick. Once my stomach settled a bit, I cautiously stood up, desperately wanting to rinse my mouth out. I looked at my face in the mirror, barely recognizing my reflection. At times my face would seem to quiver and change, not even looking like my own. I fervently hoped this was some kind of side effect due to dehydration. I shuffled into the bedroom and grabbed the bottle of water on my nightstand and took a few tentative sips, ensuring between each one that the contents of my stomach were staying put. I needed to lay down to stop the queasiness. Emily was right - I needed to see a doctor as soon as possible. Perhaps a neurologist or a psychiatrist could help diagnose what was going on with me. I curled onto my side and closed my eyes tightly, hoping and praying sleep would find me.
***
The shrill sound of my cell phone woke me for the second time that morning. This time, the sun was shining brightly in my room, making everything else that transpired a few hours ago seem like a horrible nightmare. I looked at the time: Crap! I had to be at work in an hour, and I still needed Emily to come back with my car. It was Emily calling, just as she had promised. I answered on the fourth ring, clearing the thickness in my throat before saying hello.
“You sound awful. How are you feeling today?” Emily asked, genuinely concerned despite her lighthearted approach.
“I’ve been better,” I responded. I didn’t want tell her what occurred in the early morning hours. I didn’t want to relive it. “I know I need to get my car back. How soon can you get here?”
“Hold on, Maddie. That can wait. Are you sitting down? There’s something you need to know,” Emily said. I could hear the worry in her voice. She had undoubtedly seen the news report.
“Yes, I’m sitting. Well, actually I’m still in bed.”
“You were right you know. I don’t know how you knew it, but your crazy vision actually happened. Sure as hell, Damien Pierce crashed his car into a tree, and you saw it.” The worry in her voice had turned to awe. “That confirmed it for me,” she said, matter-of-factly.
“Confirmed what? That I’m certifiably insane?” I asked. Even though I said it, and almost believed it, deep down I could feel there was an unexplainable link between myself and this actor who lived across the country from me.
“Yes to both, Maddie. But beside that, I was way off about you needing to see a doctor. You obviously need to see someone with experience on matters of clairvoyance. You need to speak with a medium or a psychic.”
“What? Hell no! I am not going to speak with some wacky fortune teller - that’s ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous about it? You are obviously having an abnormal or, what I believe to be, supernatural experience and who better to ‘diagnose’ this kind of thing than a psychic? You know anyone practicing traditional medicine is going to think you’re a nut job and put you on anti-anxiety meds.”
She had a point. Traditional medical practices didn't really accept such peculiar experiences like the ones I was having. They would immediately dismiss my claims and attribute them to anxiety and stress from being overworked.
“Alright, I’ll consider it,” I finally said. “But I need to do some research first.”
“Oh geez, Madelyn. Stop overanalyzing everything. Be spontaneous for once! Let your gut instincts direct you to where you need to be,” Emily argued.
“I said I’d consider it. I just need to do my homework and find a credible source, that’s all. This is not the kind of thing I am typically open to. You know that,” I argued back.
“Maddie, what you’re experiencing isn’t normal. Sometimes the only way to figure these kinds of things out is to step outside your comfort zone. You’ve got to fight the weird with the supernatural sometimes,” she said.
“Fine. You find me a fortune teller and I’ll go. I’m done talking about it for now, though,” I stated decisively.
“Deal. I will find the right person for you to talk to, and of course I will be going with you to the appointment. Don’t you dare back out on me though,” Emily warned.
“I won’t. If you find a suitable quack for me to talk to, I’ll go. I promise,” I reassured her.
“Quack… some optimist you are. Just try and have an open mind, please. I’ll be there in thirty minutes with your car,” were Emily’s closing words. I put the phone down and carefully stood up, hoping my dizziness wouldn’t return. I decided tea would be easier on my stomach than my usual coffee, and hurried into the kitchen to make some. Hopefully, I wasn’t making a mistake leaving a task like this in Emily’s hands. She was prone to eccentricity and would probably find me the craziest psychic out there. God how I wished my life would just go back to normal.
CHAPTER 4
DAMIEN
“Where the hell is the doctor? Someone needs to come in here and explain to me the extent of his injuries. Do you have any idea who he is? Who I am?” I heard Ava’s voice getting louder and louder in my head. First I thought that I had been dreaming, but Ava was here, not the pretty nameless girl. Second, I was in way too much pain to be dreaming. It took a great deal of effort to open my eyes, but I finally managed to do it and the scene before me was quite confusing: Ava was standing there with both hands on her hips, yelling at a plump, middle-aged woman dressed in light blue scrubs with bright orange rubber shoes and a stethoscope around her neck. I tried to lift myself into more of a seated position, and let out an involuntary moan. The pain was excruciating. Ava’s head whipped around so fast the moment she heard me; her eyes immediately filling with tears.
“Oh baby, are you okay? I’ve been so worried!” She crossed the room quickly and came to sit at the edge of the bed, grabbing my hand. “The nurse is going to get the doctor right away. Are you in a lot of pain?” She looked over at the nurse then and continued, “Hey, can’t you up his morphine too, while you’re at it?” I noticed the nurse discreetly roll her eyes as she came over to the tower of machines next to the bed.
“What happened?” I managed to ask. My voice was thick from being asleep or sedated, I assumed. I cleared my throat, but even that hurt like hell.
“Baby, you were in a car accident and hit a tree. You were on your way to meet me and after another half hour of waiting for you to show, I called your cell again. One of the paramedics answered it. They told me you had been in an accident.” She began a fresh wave of sobs.
“Damn, was it bad? I mean, what kind of shape am I in?” I said and quickly looked over my body, making sure all my limbs were still attached. I let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, I was all in one piece.
“They said you had some internal bleeding, but that’s all they’ve told me. I swear, I am so upset with these people and their lack of communication with me. They know I’m your girlfriend - they know who I am. I’ve been demanding the nurses and staff to explain to me the extent of your injuries but all they were willing to tell me is that you went straight to surgery when you got to the ER and that they successfully stopped the bleeding,” Ava explained. She sighed heavily then continued, “You’re going to have a scar across your stomach, but the important thing is that you are okay. The doctor said he would be in to check on you and explain more on your other injuries, but that was over an hour ago. I’m so pissed at their total disregard for who we are,” she said arrogantly, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.
“My head is killing me. Every muscle in my body hurts, too.” As I voiced it, it was like the pain intensified.
“Your head hurts because you had slight brain swelling, but luckily the swelling subsided on its own and we didn’t have to go in surgically to relieve the pressure. That would have been another scar to contend with.” The tall, thin man standing in the doorway directed his last comment at Ava. “Hello Mr. Pierce, I am Dr. Campbell. You suffered some pretty serious injuries, but I expect that you will make a full recovery. Your spleen ruptured and had to be removed and you have a few cracked ribs. You also suffered a pretty n
asty concussion. However, I am happy to report you will have no lasting damage whatsoever. You are very lucky, Mr. Pierce. Your car, however, was not as fortunate.
“The car is replaceable,” I stated. “The important thing is I’m alright. How soon before I can go home?”
“Well, you will need to stay another day or so under observation. We just want to make sure your brain doesn’t start swelling again. I’ll be able to give you a more definitive answer by this time tomorrow,” Dr. Campbell explained.
“Thank you, doctor,” I mumbled as he walked out. I tried to adjust my positioning and was met with another shot of pain coursing through my body, although this time the severity of the pain was beginning to subside. The morphine must have started to kick in, thank goodness.
“Oh honey, don’t strain yourself. By the way, I called your parents as soon as I discovered you had been in an accident. Your mother was so pleased to hear from me until I told her you were hurt. She was so worried about you and said she and your father would be on the next flight out. She thanked me profusely for getting in touch with her and added that you are so lucky to have me in your life,” Ava stated as if she were winning best actress for her role as the concerned wife. God, I hope she wasn’t going to start talking about marriage again.
“Oh no. Ava, they don’t need to come out here. I mean, thank you for calling them and all, but I’ll be fine and I don’t want to cause them any stress. Do you know where my phone is?”
“Now Damien, I’m sure your parents would love to see you, plus I was hoping to get some girl time in with your mom. I want to take her to the best spa and pick her brain about how I can get you to pop the question!” (There it was.) Just then, her cell phone rang and she darted out of the room to take the call. I let out a sigh of relief and reached over to the bedside table where my phone was just within reach.
My mom picked up on the first ring. “Honey, your father and I have been worried sick! Are you okay? We’ve been trying to book a flight for hours, but I can’t seem to find one that leaves today from our airport.” She was obviously panicked and that only made me feel worse.
“Hey Mom, I’m okay I swear. Please don’t worry. The doctor says I should be out of here in no time.”
“But Ava said you were in a terrible car accident and that you had to have surgery because you had internal bleeding!”
I closed my eyes and cursed Ava’s need for drama and for causing my parents unnecessary worry. “It’s not as bad as Ava made it sound, Mom. My spleen ruptured so they removed it, and I have a few cracked ribs, but the doctor says I will make a full recovery. Nothing to worry about and surely nothing to make you and Dad rush out here. Besides, I happen to know that Ava doesn’t plan on letting you get away like the last time. She says she wants to spend a whole day with you at a spa.” I smiled before my mom could even respond, knowing that I had just hit a nerve.
“That girl! I swear I could pummel her for making us worry. And to think she wants me to spend an entire day with mud and seaweed on my skin. Doesn’t she know we have mud out here for free? And can’t she find seaweed on those California beaches I’ve been seeing all over those “Visit California” ads on tv?”
I laughed, wishing I could see my mother’s face as she said those last remarks.
“Well, I’m glad to hear you laughing. You have to be feeling somewhat alright to still have the ability to laugh at me.”
“I’m not laughing at you, Mom. Remember? I’m…”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re laughing with me,” she said as she chuckled. My mom and I have always been close and that had been our inside joke when I became a “cool teenager” and started pointing out how “uncool” my parents really were. After those rough teenage years, it continued on as our thing, something to remind us that we were always there for each other even though sometimes we didn’t 100 percent agree on things. It was hard for her and my dad when I decided to leave. I grew up in Missouri, a farmer’s son whose whole life outside of school had consisted of helping run the farm. I was not only a farm-hand, but also a mechanic, an obstetrician to cows (that was always fun), and at times a carpenter. My parents never fully understood my dream to move out to LA and pursue a career in acting - something I had very little to no experience with - instead of staying to help maintain the family estate. However, they supported my decision and helped me when they could. For the most part, I had to fend for myself and it took a few years to get a gig. When I finally did, it was an aftershave commercial. I was the first eighteen-year-old kid they had ever hired to do an aftershave commercial, but being six foot two with dark hair, I had had a five o’clock shadow since I was fifteen. I got a few small jobs after that, then a casting director took a chance on a no-name kid and my career finally started to take off with help from Nick.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” she asked, getting back to worried mother mode.
“Mom, I promise I’ll be fine. And I’m looking forward to seeing you and Dad soon.”
“It will be so good to see you back at the farm. We’ve missed you so much.”
“We see each other all the time on the computer. But, it will be nice to be back home for awhile.”
“Okay honey, please call me if you need us to fly out there. I am more than happy to come and take care of you while you recover. I hate the thought of you being alone.”
“I’m perfectly fine and not alone. I have plenty of friends that can help me if I need it.”
“Well, if you say so. I’ll call you in a little while to check up on you.”
“And probably a few more times after that,” I laughed again.
“You know me so well. I love you, dear.”
“Love you too. Bye Mom.”
I set my phone on the bedside table and sank back against the pillows. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what happened. How did I crash the car? I didn’t even remember swerving off the road. All I remembered was seeing glimpses of the nameless girl’s face in my mind and then suddenly an overwhelming empty feeling came over me. I felt an emptiness within me, like my soul had been wrenched from my body. And that was the last thing I remembered. That must have been when I crashed into the tree. I closed my eyes, replaying over and over the events leading up to my accident and trying to make sense of it all. I must have dozed off because before I knew it, I entered that place in between, that place where I knew at once I was not dreaming, nor was I awake…
She was sitting on a small bench carved out of pristine white marble, surrounded by lush greenery. All around her were strangely pruned topiaries, most of them in the shape of animals. The sky was dark and threatened rain. She called out to me, and when she said my name, I felt her voice sweep over me in an almost tangible way. Her low, seductive whisper seemed to touch every nerve in my body. I moved toward her, eager to touch the soft, porcelain-like skin of her face. I wish I knew her name. Why had I never asked? She turned her full gaze on me; her beautiful, emerald green eyes appraising every feature of my face. We were inches apart, and all I wanted was to reach out and pull her to me, closing the gap between us. I wanted to run my fingers through her thick, dark hair; kiss her, taste her on my lips, but I was being pulled away from her once more. Every time I am about to figure out the next clue or find an answer, it all slips away. I saw her expression change to one of sadness.
“Your name… please tell me your name!” I shouted, trying desperately to stay. But everything became wispy and blurred… then she vanished.
I awoke to the sound of the machines humming in my hospital room. I didn’t know how long I had been out. The nurse had upped the pain meds on my pump before she left and it felt like I had just hung up the phone with my mom before I passed out. I hadn’t seen Ava since she rushed out to answer her call, but I wasn’t exactly expecting her to sleep on the sleeper sofa in the hospital room. The clock above the television read 5:15 am. Damn, apparently I had been out for quite awhile.
The bottom of my left foot was starting to it
ch. I tried to move my right foot over to scratch the left one, but I was too sore to move anything. I gave up and gently pulled the cart next to my bed closer to me so I could grab the water jug, but my coordination was off and I knocked the damn jug over. It fell to the floor with a loud thud. Within moments, a nurse rushed into the room and before I could even say “I’m sorry”, she was at my side.
“Mr. Pierce, are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not a problem. These lids hold on extra tight just for situations like this,” she said as she smiled and held the jug upside down so I could see no water was leaking out of it. “How’s your pain?”
“Tolerable,” I lied. “I just can’t seem to sleep peacefully.” I hesitated a moment. “Have you ever had the same dream over and over again?”
She nodded knowingly, setting the jug back down on the table. “My mother used to tell me that our dreams were answers to questions we had yet to ask ourselves. Maybe if you figured out the question, your dreams wouldn’t need to reappear so often. But for now, it’s best to get some rest and leave the trivia for after you get better.” She checked the monitor and smiled at me again before walking out of the room. If the mystery woman of my dreams was an answer, then I had to figure out the question. The only questions I could muster were why she kept popping up in my dreams, and why I felt such a strong connection to her.
CHAPTER 5
MADELYN
The following day bloomed bright and sunny, and with it so did my disposition. I felt a renewed sense of hope. Being at work probably helped too. I was always so busy as an apprentice to the force also known as Lillian Matthews, that there was never an opportunity for my thoughts to wander. The fierce and formidable Ms. Matthews was not someone who tolerated a wandering mind anyway. She was a tiny, severe-looking woman who wore her glossy black hair in a sharp, angled bob. And, for someone who loved to work with color, she herself wore nothing but black or white, and on occasion, a shade in between. For what she lacked in size, she made up for with her commanding presence. She had an amazing eye for design - a talent which made her greatly sought after. It was a privilege to have your home designed by Lillian Matthews. A privilege that came with a hefty price tag.
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