“I understand.” Nance’s voice shaky. “but there is a great deal of advanced technology on this ship. You are welcome to plumb its depths and use it as you see fit. Just take us in; that is all we ask.”
Matthew’s eyes flitted between Farin’s complacent face and Gavin’s tormented one. Seeing the pained look on the face of the man who had risked his life to come save him, Matthew decided to speak up where Gavin could not. He knew he had some sort of leverage with Farin and he decided now was the time to find out just how much.
“Commander Farin, I know the kind of technology Deliverance possesses. If we are being presented with a peaceful means of acquiring some of it, I think we would do well to take advantage of the opportunity.”
Farin pulled him aside and addressed him in low tones, though Matthew suspected that most of the people around them could still hear what he was saying.
“An interesting suggestion, Sentinel, but I thought we agreed you would wait to resume your authority until after you had been brought up to speed? Perhaps you think I am being callous by not simply granting their request, but I do not want to do anything that will jeopardize the freedom we have worked so hard to achieve.”
“I understand, but—” Matthew checked his response. As much as he feared for the lives of those onboard the Maven, starting off his relationship with the commander in an argument hardly seemed the best way to ensure their safety. “I leave it to your discretion, then.”
Farin smoothed the front of his uniform in contented fashion. Returning to the gathered group, he raised his voice and addressed the Maven once again.
“You have permission to approach,” he informed Nance. “Our chief navigator will direct you from here on out, but Commander Nance—we reserve the right to remove you from this ship if you show the slightest signs of hostility or if your people prove to be too much of a burden.”
“Of course, Commander. Thank you. I promise you will not regret this,” Nance effused.
Farin gave quick instructions to the bridge, directing them to receive the praxis in the cargo bay with a large contingent from the security force. This made Matthew nervous, but Farin assured him it was merely a precaution.
Matthew watched as the tension drained from Gavin’s face. He even imagined he saw a touch of color return to his cheeks.
“It is time for us to retire to the council room,” Farin said.
“And Gavin? Will he be allowed to come with us?” Matthew asked.
“Commander Farin,” Gavin spoke up before he could respond. “I would actually prefer to stay while the others disembark. That way I can be here when the praxis lands as well. I am sure my friends will be disoriented waking from cryo-sleep and I think a familiar face would be helpful.”
“I agree.” The commander nodded satisfactorily. “That will make the situation much easier. We can meet with you once you’ve made a full recovery.”
Farin made to go, but Matthew hesitated, still unsure whether it was wise to leave Gavin here alone.
“I’ll be fine,” Gavin said. The look in his eyes told Matthew that he could take care of himself. Matthew only wondered if he could say the same thing.
“I’ll see you again soon, then,” Matthew said.
Farin set out for the exit at a brisk pace with Matthew at his side. The last thing they saw as they headed out the door was the next survivor being helped off the module, a woman with short blonde hair and a beautiful face, pale and blue though it was. Gavin embraced her warmly and then he and the medical staff helped her onto a floating gurney. Matthew recognized her as the one Gavin had been reviving back on the Nebula. The one called Sierra.
Forty-One
Remnant
The council room Farin brought Matthew to was much larger than he had anticipated. It was filled with black chairs arranged in concentric circles, close to a hundred seats in all. Farin and Matthew were the only occupants of the room. The soldiers were ordered to guard the doorway outside.
In the center of the chamber floated a transparent image of the planet Nai. The paroxysm had consumed nearly seventy-five percent of the planet by now. In the projection, the paroxysm appeared as a molten glow seeping over the surface. In the parts that still remained untouched, blue flares pulsed beneath the clouds. These, Farin informed him, represented elevated levels of seismic activity. There were at least a hundred such areas that Matthew could see.
“This is very different from what happened when Kess was destroyed,” Commander Farin said. “It’s almost as if the planet were reacting to the paroxysm somehow, like an immune system struggling to fight off a deadly disease.”
Matthew pulled away his eyes from the devastation. He wished Farin would turn the projection off. “Even though this is just a single planet in a vast universe, I can’t help but think that everything has changed. Planets are not supposed to just die like this.”
The two men sat down and regarded each other. It was time to be honest; Matthew had put this off long enough. Though he was not sure to what extent he could truly trust the commander, the only way forward, and probably the only way he would ever find his place among these people was to tell the truth.
“There’s something you need to know before we start,” Matthew said.
“Very well, say what you have to say,” Farin said. The doubt in his eyes gave Matthew pause, but he had made his decision.
“I have no memory of this ship. I have no memory of Kess, of you, of anything. I only found out that I was a Delegation soldier just before the Nebula was destroyed. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I was afraid you might not help us if you knew what had happened to me.”
To Matthew’s surprise, the reservations in Farin’s eyes faded.
“I’m actually glad you didn’t. If representatives from the other factions had found out about it, it might have given them occasion to doubt your ability to lead us again.”
“Other factions? But I thought Remnant was in control of the ship.” Matthew’s worries shifted away from his own situation back to Gavin and the prisoners. Perhaps the Radix was not as safe a place as he had assumed.
“Yes, but Remnant is not a monolith. It is made up of around fifteen hundred people, but within that larger group there are three major divisions. My faction, the Consortium, has the fewest members, but we are the most technically trained and have the most military experience, so most of the command of the ship falls under us. The prominent role we play, however, does not sit well with the other two groups, the Thurim and the Chanters.”
“What are you saying?” Matthew looked Farin in the eye. The commander returned his stare with a look that was both calculating and desperate.
“What I am saying, Sentinel Yin, is that the future of Remnant hangs by a thread. I’m sure the other commanders would have headed down to the cargo bay to attempt to sway you to their side if they had known of your arrival, which is why I wanted to get you out of there as soon as possible.”
“But how can you be divided? Remnant just managed to take down both the Delegation and Deliverance. That must have taken tremendous planning. I don’t see how a fractured group of people could have pulled something like that off.”
“That’s just it,” Farin said. “It was the attack on Deliverance and the Delegation which held us together. At this moment, it is too early to tell where things will end up, but let’s just say that the three factions have a less than amicable history and I do not foresee things remaining in their present state. Without a common enemy, there is great danger that our differences will cause our alliance to splinter apart.”
Matthew leaned back in his chair, unsettled by Farin’s words. Would there be another conflict on this ship the way there had been on the Nebula? Could peace ever exist in a world were men seemed bent on each others’ destruction?
Farin continued. “Listen, those of us in the Consortium knew about the Doctor’s ability to do memory wipes. We knew when you volunteered for the mission there was a high chance that if you
got captured they would erase your mind. And based on your answers from the venator, I suspected as much. That’s another reason why I didn’t want you stepping back into your old position right away.”
“And what exactly was my old position, Commander?”
“You were to replace Sentinel Orin once we defeated the Delegation. Everyone wanted you to lead us. You are the one that brought us together in the beginning and made us believe we could come out from under the Delegation’s tyranny. I was never in favor of you taking the mission, but the Delegation hand picked you and it would have raised suspicion if you had tried to avoid it.”
“And what do you think your people want now? That was a long time ago. Do they still expect me to lead them?” Matthew ventured, uncomfortable with the idea, but wanting to know what these people expected of him.
“I cannot say for sure. I think first you might have to remember who you were. The old Matthew Yin, that is who they would follow, that is who might be able to keep us together. But apart from that…” Farin shook his head, doubt returning to his face.
“Yes, that is a problem,” Matthew said. He didn’t want to lead anyone, but he did want to help these people and he definitely wanted to know who he was. Not for the last time, he wondered just exactly what Gavin’s vial of remin fluid contained.
Matthew welcomed Gavin inside his new quarters. Though Farin had called it a “capital room,” it was rather sparsely furnished. It was a cabin with a bed, a table, two storage vaults in the walls, two chairs and a small lev vent where supplies could be sent and received.
Nearly six slices had passed since they arrived on the Radix. Gavin had his color back, what there was of it at least, since he was naturally rather pale.
“How are the other prisoners?” Matthew asked.
“Warmer,” Gavin said, smiling. “And anxious to see you again. One in particular.”
Matthew nodded politely. He was looking forward to meeting them, but he was not all that excited about the prospect of staring at them blankly while they asked him questions he had no answer to.
“And the passengers and crew from the Maven? Farin told me he was trying to find places for them, but that it might be a few days before everyone had permanent quarters.”
“Yes, I think it will work out. Most of them are still struggling with the loss of their home world, but some of them will be coming to the mess hall tonight if you’d like to see them. You have friends there as well.”
“What did you tell them about me?” Matthew asked. “Do they know that I’ve lost my memory?”
“I told some of the Sentients, but with the Werin, the natives, I simply told them that you’re not well, that you’re recovering from your mission.”
Matthew rapped his fingers on the table. He didn’t think he could wait a moment longer.
“So you brought the vial?” he asked.
Gavin gave him a blank look. “You know, I completely forgot,” he said, his mouth going slack.
“But I thought memorants never forgot?” Matthew shot back, shaking his head in disbelief.
A knowing grin spread across Gavin’s face. “You thought right,” he said, reaching into his tunic and pulling out a vial of glowing green liquid.
“Gavin, you’re horrible,” Matthew chided him.
He wanted so much to grab hold of the vial, but his hands were so covered in sweat he was afraid he might drop it.
“I feel as though I’ve waited my whole life for this,” Matthew said. Gavin placed the vial on the table in front of him.
“I believe you’re not too far off with that remark,” Gavin said.
Matthew cautiously took it and pulled it across the table.
“How much is in here? Is it just my time on Nai? Everything from the last time we met? Further back?”
“Just the last six months,” Gavin said. “Everything up to right before you were captured by the Collective, but I can get much more with the chronotrace now that we have more time.”
“That’s more than enough for now,” Matthew said, staring at the precious liquid. “I don’t think I could take it all at once.”
“That day will come—for both of us,” Gavin assured him.
“So is Matthew my real name? Matthew Yin?”
Gavin nodded.
“And you knew that when you found me on the Nebula?”
Gavin nodded again. “Yes. I knew about Kelm’s plan to destroy the Nebula, too. I didn’t think I would be able to convince you to get off in time, but I had to try. Unfortunately, it turns out I was right; I’m not very persuasive. I was going to use the miasma channel, but then the Delegation showed up.”
“You knew the Nebula was going to be destroyed and you came anyway,” Matthew said.
“You would have done the same for me.”
Matthew hoped Gavin was right. But he wouldn’t know for sure until he drank that vial of remin fluid.
“What are you waiting for?” Gavin asked.
“This may sound strange, but I’m scared,” Matthew confessed. “What if I don’t like the person I was, what if I end up regretting the choices I’ve made, the things I’ve done?”
“I understand your reservations, but facing the past is the only way we can move beyond it. Would you like me to leave you alone?”
“No, no,” Matthew said. “You’re the one who made this possible. I want you to be here when I open my eyes again and remember who I am.”
“All right,” Gavin said gently.
Matthew pulled the top off the vial. A bitter, pungent smell crept up his nose and made him want to pull back, but he resisted the urge and brought the liquid up to his lips.
Finally. He sighed, still finding it hard to believe this moment had arrived.
With a flick of his wrist he drained the liquid into his mouth, absorbing it into his body in eager, ravenous gulps. The metallic taste overpowered his senses, making it hard to swallow, but he did not care. He drained the vial as quickly as his body would allow.
With each gulp, the memories came flooding back, washing over him like waves of cleansing, purifying waters. He saw the crash of his ship as a Delegation scout. He watched as somatarchs dragged him onto a lev from the remains of his shattered jaunter and presented him before Darius. The same cold light of cruelty and genius that had been there when he fired the omniclast gleamed in his eyes. Matthew’s time in the vault and the Institute flashed before him as well. Then came his rescue by Will, the failed attempt to distribute the virus and kill the Developers, the storms and quakes which destroyed Oasis and Manx Core. It all came back to him, each memory rolling past like drifts of sand, wafting over the desert floor. He ran to every memory with open arms, each one more precious than the last.
This is my life, he thought. How precious is the gift of memory, the inhale and exhale of the mind itself. We may be more than our memories, but we are certainly not less.
For the first time in many years, Matthew Yin, sidereal scout from the planet Kess, was whole again, or nearly so. He gazed back across the table at his friend and wept freely. He smiled and cried for all he had been given and all that he had lost. And all the while inside, praise welled up spontaneously within him, praise to the one who had never forgotten him, never wavered, even when life and the vagaries of time had ripped from him everything he held dear.
The day after the battle which was being called the Second Great Purge, a banquet was planned. Ostensibly, it was to celebrate Remnant’s victory and welcome the people of the Maven, but there would be more to it than that. Speeches from the leaders of each of the three groups which formed Remnant would be given. One from Matthew would be delivered as well. It was certainly the most important moment of his life thus far. The future of their little orbital vestige of the human race might depend on the words that were spoken this day, but he tried not to think about it too much. It was still morning and the banquet seemed far away. Matthew’s thoughts were on other things at the moment, namely, Sierra.
He h
ad wanted to see her yesterday, immediately after drinking the remin fluid, but Gavin had informed him that she would likely not be cleared from medical until the following day.
Before Gavin left, Matthew asked him to arrange a meeting with her first thing in the morning. The rest of his day had already been filled with meetings and preparations for the banquet and he had his speech to write.
Any moment she would walk through the door of his quarters. Whatever else happened on this day, for him it would be remembered as much for what was said between himself and Sierra as for anything that happened in the banquet hall. He pulled against the collar of his black uniform which chafed against his neck. He didn’t like wearing it. It felt too stiff and formal, but he had another meeting directly after he finished with Sierra and he needed to look the part of the enterprising and aspiring leader of Remnant.
How differently things would have turned out if I knew what I know now, he thought as he waited. Having the memories again was not the same as if he had never lost them. His time on Nai had changed him. He could never fully go back to the person he had been before.
Much of his memory still remained a mystery even after drinking the remin. All he remembered from before he arrived at Nai were a few snatches about his double mission: to find the Deliverance base and to get word back to Remnant and then leverage that knowledge in Remnant’s plot to overthrow the Delegation.
But he did remember two details that had nothing to do with his mission. As his jaunter was going down, its engines stalling in the unexpected turbulence of a high altitude storm, his thoughts had gone to his family. Though all of them had perished in The Great Purge back on Kess, he thought of them every single day.
And his last thought, just before his jaunter hit the sand, was of Numinae and the vision from the eidos. Matthew now realized that what he had seen in the chronotrace aboard the Nebula had actually occurred back on Kess, though how the device had recorded it he did not know, for that vision had taken place over seven years before. Maybe that vision hadn’t been from the chronotrace at all, but a memory that had somehow been triggered when he hit his head in the tunnel.
The Chronotrace Sequence- The Complete Box Set Page 102
