by Alice Ward
Then his tongue was gone, and his weight was on me, his hand settling on the back of my neck, holding me down.
“I’ll fuck your ass someday,” he said, making me shiver, “every part of you will be mine.”
Before I could answer, the weight was gone, and he slammed into me again. My arms buckled, and I collapsed onto my chest, my fingers gripping the bedsheets as I desperately held on.
Again at his total mercy, I surrendered to everything he was doing. Everything I was feeling. So good. Everything was so incredibly good.
Even when a finger slipped into my ass, burning and stretching that virgin territory, I surrendered, my only sound the wail that issued from my throat.
It was insane, all that I felt as he forced me from one climax to another.
His sweat dropped onto my back, rolled down my spine, and I found the strength to push myself up until my back was connected with his front. The angle changed, and his finger slipped out of me, his hands clamping on my hips to raise and lower me at his will.
There was a thunderclap, barely heard above the thunder of our bodies slapping together. Jake didn’t flinch. Didn’t lose the steady rhythm. If anything, he picked up speed, nearly breaking me in two with his urgency.
Wrapping an arm around my waist, he flipped us until I was on top, riding him now. Desperate to see his face, I broke away only long enough to turn around before sinking down on him again, wincing as he stretched the sore skin. I wouldn’t be walking right tomorrow, but I didn’t care.
This time, it was my sweat dripping down on him, and I realized I didn’t care about that either. All that mattered was how he looked up at me as I rode him, the curses coming from his mouth as I pushed him closer to his own release.
Our fingers linked and he sat up, changing the angle of penetration again. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as I continued to ride.
My fingers found a scar on his back, reminding me of all he’d been through, and I bent my head to kiss the round scar on his shoulder.
And I rode.
Rode until his tongue plunged into my mouth as he finally found his own release deep inside of me.
As our harsh breaths filled the room, I pressed tight against him. Sweat coated our bodies, sealing us together. I could feel it running down my face and the sides of my torso. Jake’s lips found mine, kissing me softly, then he kissed my nose, my eyes, my hair. Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I pulled him closer to me and nuzzled my face into his neck.
The now-humid air pressed around us, creating our own little haven. I closed my eyes tight and sucked in a deep breath. His familiar scent filled me. When he went to pull away, I held on tighter.
Don’t go, I wanted to say, but I kept my lips firmly pressed together.
He kissed me one last time and very gently pulled away and slid off the bed. I listened to the rustle of his clothes being pulled on, then the soft click of the door as it opened.
I waited as he stood in the doorway, appearing as lost as the little boy he’d been the first day I’d laid eyes on him. I sat up in bed and he turned back to me. I gave him a gentle smile, releasing him from the guilt of leaving. Of maybe staying. I wasn’t sure.
“See you soon?” he asked, his voice hesitant, unsure.
“Yes. Soon.”
He still didn’t move. “Skye…?”
“Yes?”
“It’s not safe for me to stay.”
Then he was gone, the door clicking closed behind him, leaving me to wonder what he meant by that.
Instead of running after him, I hugged my pillow, breathed in the scent that still lingered there. He was right to leave, I told myself. It was better this way. I could ask nothing from Jake but for him to be there for our son.
As I fell asleep, I knew that and accepted it, even as it broke my heart.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jake
Six Years Earlier…
“Come on, Skye,” I whined when she answered her front door, gulping as I took in her tiny lounge shorts and tank top. Damn, her body was killer. “Just come for a couple hours. All that schoolwork shit can wait. Auriana’s parties are always epic.”
“Epically stupid,” Skye muttered as she let me in. “Besides, I wasn’t invited, remember?”
No, I actually wasn’t aware of that. “Why not?”
Skye rolled her eyes and plopped down on the sofa, resting her feet on the coffee table. The soft, floaty material of her pink and white striped shorts slipped up her thighs, and from where I stood, I could see the curve of her ass cheek, the way her legs were propped up.
My balls tightened, and my heart started beating harder in my chest. I should have just called. Why in the hell did I drop by?
Skye reached up and started twisting her long hair into a messy bun on top of her head, securing it with an elastic that seemed to always be around her wrist. Shit. She wasn’t wearing a bra, her breasts lifted and swayed at the movement, and I forced myself to look away, to walk over to Monty Python’s enclosure. Except, Monty was nowhere to be seen.
Shit.
“Uh, Skye…”
“Yeah?”
“Where’s Monty?”
I heard the springs squeak in the couch and her bare feet smacked the wood floor as she headed my way. “You better not be tricking me,” she said, “or I’ll kick your ass.”
Unfortunately, I wasn’t tricking her.
“Oh my god. He’s gone!”
I backed up slowly, watching where I stepped. This had happened before and it had taken us hours to find the little devil.
An hour later, I was on my hands and knees looking under Skye’s bed for the second time. Skye was nearly hysterical by now, worried that her precious reptile was gone.
If only we could be so lucky. If Monty had found his way to the great outdoors, I’d buy her a dog. Hell, I’d buy her two of them. Something cuddly.
Pushing a box out of the way, I jumped and hit my head when Monty slithered over my arm.
“Shit!”
Running feet sounded down the hallway. “Did you find him?” Hope was a living thing in her voice.
Mentally forcing my nuts to lower back into their sack, I reached farther under the bed and wrapped a hand around the horrid pet. He hissed, causing my balls to climb up into my body again, but I didn’t let go. A few seconds later, I returned Monty to a grateful Skye Crawford.
I wrinkled my nose as she petted and held the damn thing to her cheek. “I was so worried,” she chastised the reptile with little cooing noises. It curled around her neck, and I forced myself not to cringe. I’d never, for as long as I lived, understand the bond those two had.
Following her back to the living room, I was relieved when the snake was safely back in his enclosure, the top secured again.
“Thank you, Jake!”
Skye launched herself into my arms, and I caught her just as I’d done a hundred times. She was touchy-feely like this. Always hugging and holding onto my arm. But she was like that with Trey too. Just a naturally lovable person.
So why was my heart beating so hard as her arms circled my shoulders? Why did my cock harden as her legs wrapped around my waist? Why was her breath, so warm on my neck, affecting me so much, sending shivers down my spine?
Why did I want to kiss her so very, very bad?
I laughed, but the sound was more like an uncomfortable bark as she continued to cling to me. Then something changed. It was like electricity had filled the room, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. Skye must have felt it too because her heart was beating harder. I could feel it pounding against my chest. Her breathing was ragged, just like mine.
“Skye?”
She lifted her face from my neck, which wasn’t a good move. Now, our noses — our mouths — were so very close. She tensed. I did too, and not just everything south of my naval. My entire body felt frozen, my fingers now claws on her back.
She seemed to have gotten heavier and lighter simultaneously, and
the oxygen seemed to have gotten thinner in the room. The periphery of my vision grew cloudy, then darkened, and the only thing I could see was her.
She licked her lips, and I was lost.
“Jake…” The word was a sigh before our lips touched for the very first time. Then they were melting together, our tongues melting together too.
I’d kissed a lot of girls, but it had never been like this. So primal and raw. So real. So wrong.
What was I doing?
This was Skye! One of my best friends. My best buddy was in love with her and…
She moaned, her fingers moving up to my hair, nails scraping my scalp. The kissed deepened, sucking all other thoughts from my mind.
I loved her.
If I ever had any doubt, I knew it now as the kiss softened into something even more special. I’d known I loved her for years. A big brother love, I’d tried to convince myself.
It was more than that.
It was everything.
Outside, there was the sound of tires on gravel. The sound of an engine cutting off. The sound of a car door slamming.
Trey was here.
Skye sighed and pulled back, leaving me to stare into those magnificent green eyes.
And this had to stop.
Because Trey was here, and he loved her too.
And he deserved her more than I did.
I lowered her until she was on her feet, kept my hands on her shoulders until she was steady. She reached for me, but her fingers just lingered in the air, caught in the empty space between us.
Blowing out a shaky breath, I went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face as her front door opened.
Trey was here.
I looked in the mirror and cursed myself.
Present Day…
The week seemed to creep by. Every minute, I thought of Skye. Or Jagger. Or Trey.
For so many years, I’d tormented myself with so many questions. I knew that if Trey were still in my life, he wouldn’t have been happy about me and Skye being together. We’d made a pact before we even really knew what that meant. The friendship the three of us shared was sacred. I’d been an idiot to break that vow years ago… and I was being an idiot now.
I knew that, but I also couldn’t erase the fact that me being around made Skye happy. I could see it in the way her eyes lit up when we kissed. I could feel her joy surrounding me as if it was my own.
So I was committing one more sin. In my life, that seemed to have always been the case. But at least I was making Skye happy. For the time being, anyway. The truth was that I didn’t know just how long things were going to last. I seemed to have a way of making everything blow up.
It’ll be better once it ends, I thought as I drove my car to Brooklyn on Saturday morning. She’ll be in less danger without me around. She’ll be able to finally move on.
My hands tightened around the steering wheel as I thought of the most likely man for Skye to move on to. Brad. The guy was so… so…
Fuck. There wasn’t really anything wrong with him. Not that I could see. Maybe that was why I hated him so much. For the most part, based on our two small interactions, he seemed to have his shit together. He didn’t walk around with a two-ton weight on his shoulders. He didn’t cause chaos wherever he went.
And since Skye and I couldn’t last forever, he could be a soft place — a stable place — for her to land.
I pulled up to the front of Skye’s brownstone, the nearly bumper-to-bumper traffic finally at an end. The second the car wheels came to a stop, I caught sight of Skye’s face. She stood on the sidewalk, the morning light making her shine like an angel. My chest twisted in a bitter mix of longing and pain.
Just a while longer… I’ll just hang onto her for a while longer.
After that, I forced my brain to shut down. I knew a hard time was still ahead of us, but at that moment, everything was great. The sun was shining, and we were headed to Coney Island for the day.
Jagger rushed the car, pulling Skye along behind him. “This is your car?” he asked, his eyes shining as he looked the black convertible with its top down over in awe.
“It sure is, and I have a booster seat back there just for you.” I jabbed my finger in the direction of the backseat, and Jagger clambered into the booster.
“I can buckle all by myself,” he told me in a matter-of-fact tone.
Skye settled into the seat next to me and put her beach bag next to Jagger. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
She smiled. “Jagg is a big beach bum. If we go out onto the sand we might never leave.”
“Yeah, we might have to live there,” Jagger added. “I can build a great big sandcastle. There can be a Mommy room, and a Daddy room, and a Jagger room.”
I winked at my son in the rearview mirror. “That sounds just fine to me. And when we want a change of pace, we’ll sleep on the roller coaster and live off hot dogs and ice cream.”
I pulled the car into traffic, and we set off. Traffic became lighter the farther we got from the city. With the wind, it was too loud to talk much, but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at Skye every few minutes. She’d only grown more beautiful over the years, and I kept thinking about how she might look five, ten, or twenty years from now. We’d still know each other. We’d be in each other’s lives to at least a minuscule degree until we died. It was strange, the complete opposite of how I’d thought our lives would go.
A week ago, I’d still believed I would never see Skye Crawford again. Now, we were connected for decades more. Jagger would get older, and that would mean we’d see each other less and less. Once she realized how bad I was for her and Jagger became a teenager, we’d only see each other at drop-offs and school events. After that it would be college graduation. And then, what? His wedding? His children’s birthday parties? Would my and Skye’s time together be whittled down to one or two days every few years?
The thought sent a chill through me. I reminded myself that I needed to continue to think of Skye and Jagger first, and then shut my mind down again. No mournful philosophizing today. We had other things to do.
The pain would come. It was inevitable. But maybe, if I worked hard, I could build a wall and keep it away for a little while longer.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Skye
Present Day…
I gently turned the key in the lock and edged the door open. “Give him to me,” I whispered to Jake, holding my hands out for a sleeping Jagger.
“I’ll do it,” he whispered back, snuggling him closer to his chest, and my heart melted.
I stepped aside and watched as Jake carried Jagger down the hall. Being in something of a co-parenting situation was still weird. I’d grown so used to doing everything myself. Cadence helped, of course, but I’d never let her take the real bullets of parenting for me. When Jagger was an infant with colic, I was the one who stayed up all night. I paid for everything he needed and took him where he had to go. I’d made a promise to myself years ago. I wasn’t going to ask too much of other people.
No one else needed to pay for my mistake. No, not mistake. My surprise. My blessing.
Seeing someone so willingly give their help was odd. I still didn’t feel like Jake was as responsible for Jagger’s well-being as I was. Maybe I’d never feel like things were even between us. Maybe all mothers felt that way. I wasn’t sure.
I crept down the hallway at a tiptoe pace and peeked into Jagger’s room. He was lying in bed, sleepily rubbing his open eyes. Jake sat on the edge of the bed, pulling off his shoes.
“It’s time to go to sleep, bud,” Jake whispered.
“Will you read me a book?”
“Sure. Let’s see here.” He bent over and selected a book from the continuously growing pile next to Jagger’s bed.
I turned and went back down the hall but stopped when I saw the light coming from the crack under Cadence’s bedroom door. Without knocking, I opened the door jus
t enough so she would hear my whispered, “Hello?”
“Come in.”
I went in, shutting the door behind me as quietly as I could. Cadence stood in front of her floor-length mirror, a green cocktail dress on and several necklaces in her hands. “What do you think? The black opal or the pearl?”
I sat on her bed, admiring my beautiful cousin. Her blonde hair was swept back from her face, adding to the elegant look. “What’s the occasion?”
“The magazine is hosting an after-party for this new art festival.” She put on the pearl necklace and studied her reflection. “Ew. I look like Grandma.”
I grinned. “Maybe that’s what the guys are looking for.”
She scoffed and exchanged necklaces. “Well, they can pass me right over.” Her eyes slid to mine and a sly smile appeared on her pretty face. “Ooh, did I tell you? That Mark guy is going to be there tonight.”
I couldn’t remember receiving any news about Cadence’s most current crush, but I’d been pretty preoccupied as of late. “That sounds promising.” I smiled and bobbed my eyebrows at her. “Will you be coming home tonight or shall I see you for brunch tomorrow?”
Done with her jewelry, she picked up a pair of nude heels and sat on the bed next to me. “Brunch if I’m lucky. Ice cream at midnight if I’m not.”
“Just text me if you’re out all night so I won’t worry.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mother.”
I laughed. This was how it was between us. Since we were little, we’d had a close bond even though we hadn’t seen each other very often back then. That bond had gotten even stronger since moving in together. We hadn’t once fought or even had a disagreement. We were roomies made in heaven.
She shot me a sideways look. “So, what’s going on? Did you and Jake have sex again?”
I stared at her, blinking but too surprised to say a word.
