by Irene Brand
aren’t too good in the sand. I don’t suppose you could wear a pair of Dad’s sneakers. I haven’t done a thing with his clothes yet, as you probably noticed from his room. It’s not something I want to do.”
“I’m not used to wearing sneakers. I’ll be better off in boots.”
She looked at the shiny leather of his black boots. “Sand won’t be good for them, but you can have them cleaned at the airport before you go home.” Kennedy was enjoying Derek’s company and he seemed to be having a good time, but except for their passionate kiss on the day he arrived, he’d acted more like her brother than a man in love. The deed to the ranch hadn’t been mentioned, although Kennedy had brought it in from the patio and laid it on the dresser in Derek’s room. She’d told him she loved him, but he hadn’t said that he returned her love. She knew that he did love her—it was obvious in his eyes when he smiled at her and the way he couldn’t keep from touching her. They held hands when they walked, and when they watched television, he pulled her close and kept his arm around her.
Kennedy concluded that he was never going to propose to her, and the two days she’d anticipated so much were disappointing to her. He was obviously enjoying the sightseeing, but she sensed that he was eager to start for home. Delaying his departure for two days had been done to humor her rather than because he wanted to stay. She woke up early on his last day, put a robe over her pajamas, and quietly went to the kitchen. Making a pot of coffee, she took her Bible and went out to the patio. Apparently neither Derek nor Rosita was awake.
She opened the Bible at random, and the words from the fifth Psalm were before her: “‘Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,” she read softly, “for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.’” Kennedy closed her eyes and prayed inwardly, God, I don’t know what to ask from You. Is it just stubbornness that I want Derek? Is it Morgan pride that makes me determined to marry him when it isn’t what he wants? I love him enough that I want him to be happy regardless of my own feelings. Does he think I’m trying to buy a husband by giving him the Circle Cross? Or is it his past that stands between us? How much does his past really matter? I have one day left. Please, I beg of You, give me the right words to say or the wisdom to keep my mouth shut.
Tears seeped from her closed eyes, and she remembered the good times she’d had in this home with her parents. When she questioned if she was always destined to be alone, she supposed she was feeling sorry for herself and she swiped at her tears. She had Derek for one more day, and she didn’t want him to see her tears.
She forced a smile when she heard his step behind her, and she motioned to a chair. “Well! You’re dressed and ready for the day, and I’m still in pajamas.”
“Remember I’m still operating on Central Time, so my inner alarm clock got me up early.”
“Yes, I remember that a rooster wakened me too early on my first night at the Circle Cross.”
“Rosita is up, too, preparing breakfast. She sent word that the food will be ready in thirty minutes, and,” he added with a wide grin, “if you want any breakfast, you’d better get dressed.”
“She’s been bossing me around since I was a kid, so I don’t pay much attention to her orders, but I do need to hurry. It’s a long drive to the beach, and I want to have several hours there. Would you like to eat breakfast here on the patio?”
“Yeah, that would be super.”
Derek watched Kennedy as she hurried into the house. He had noticed the tears she’d tried to hide behind her smile, and he had a hunch he was the cause of her unhappiness. He’d been awake most of the night trying to figure out what he should do. As usual, he had questions but no answers. Should he accept the Circle Cross? Should he try to trace his ancestry before he asked Kennedy to marry him? Should he forget about the past and marry her anyway? Should he just explain that he wanted to be her friend but nothing more? The last would be a lie, and Derek wasn’t in the habit of lying. He wasn’t content to be just a friend; his love for Kennedy caused his heart to ache constantly. Did he want to own the Circle Cross if she couldn’t share it with him? He’d been introduced to what her life was now; would she be happy to live in rural Nebraska?
Although he’d enjoyed seeing the city yesterday, he’d felt smothered. Remembering their first meeting with a smile, he knew that she was a city girl and he was a cowhand. If he asked her, he was pretty sure she would marry him, but if she grew tired of the Circle Cross, what then? He sure couldn’t live in Los Angeles.
They were on their way to Malibu Beach by nine o’clock. Derek had seen this beach featured in numerous movies, so the area seemed somewhat familiar. Houses perched on the hillsides overlooking the sandy beach below. Although the Santa Monica Mountains flanking Malibu’s beaches couldn’t compare to the Rockies in size, they formed a spectacular backdrop to the oceanfront.
When they reached Kennedy’s favorite beach, climbed the sand dune, and looked out over the Pacific, at first Derek was speechless. A large steamer loomed on the horizon. The tide was coming in and, as he watched the breakers rolling toward the shore and the surfers taking advantage of the opportunity to ride the swelling waves, he whispered a portion of the Bible from Psalm 104 that he didn’t realize he knew:
“‘There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number—living things both large and small. There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.’”
“It is awe-inspiring, isn’t it?” Kennedy said quietly. “I’ve been here hundreds of times, and the scene never fails to charm me. Let’s walk first and then we can rent an umbrella and eat the lunch that Rosita fixed for us.”
Derek soon found out that his boots weren’t made for walking in the sand, so he took them off and walked barefoot.
“I’ll take off my shoes, too, and we can walk in the water,” Kennedy said.
They rolled their pants to their knees, and the cool water surged around their ankles. Carrying their boots and shoes in their left hands, they joined right hands and kicked their feet like children. This beach had always been part of her life, but Kennedy seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. The tide was depositing shells on the wet sand, and she said, “Let’s find some pretty shells for June.”
As they chose whole, colorful shells, Derek said, “I want to buy a gift for her and the guys, too. I feel guilty about leaving them with all the work during this busy time, but I’m not sorry I came.”
“Neither am I. You’ve probably never had a vacation.”
“There’s always something to be done on the ranch. And there hasn’t been anyplace I wanted to go.” After they filled their pockets with shells, they turned around and Kennedy said, “We can walk through the shops as we go back to the car. You might find something you’d like to buy.”
They washed their feet and dried them on Derek’s handkerchief before they put on their shoes and climbed to the top of the sandbank. In one of the shops, he bought a shell necklace and earrings for his mother and bolo ties for each of the ranch workers. He also bought a box of chocolates for Kennedy and one for Rosita.
“This will please Rosita. She’s a chocoholic.”
As they put his purchases in the car, Kennedy asked, “Are you hungry now?”
“I could eat,” Derek admitted.
“Then we’ll eat our picnic lunch on the beach. Do we need to rent an umbrella?”
“Then we’ll eat our picnic lunch on the beach. Do we need to rent an umbrella?”
“Not for me. I’m used to sun and wind.”
“It’s hazy today and we won’t get burned, so let’s not bother with an umbrella,” Kennedy decided. “If you’ll carry the picnic basket, I’ll bring a blanket and the thermos.”
They found a secluded place in the shadow of a sand dune, spread the blanket, and ate the sandwiches and cookies Rosita had prepared for them. Tired from their long walk, they lay on the blanket side
by side, holding hands, and Kennedy closed her eyes. She didn’t know when she’d ever been more content. She gloried in the sound of the splashing water, the calm breeze, and a quiet place with Derek beside her. What else could she want for complete happiness?
Knowing the answer to that question, Kennedy withdrew her hand from Derek’s, leaned on her right elbow, and scanned his handsome, rugged facial features.
He opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at her.
“Derek, I want to ask you something.”
“Go ahead.”
Still she hesitated, but taking a deep breath, she asked, “Will you marry me?”
Although it was a serious moment, she almost laughed at the amazement mirrored in his dark eyes. He sat up quickly and stared at her for what seemed like hours to Kennedy. He seemed speechless, but eventually he cleared his throat.
His gaze was filled with wonder, but his voice was calm and steady when he answered, “Yes. Yes, I will.” Kennedy was temporarily dazed, for she hadn’t expected him to surrender so easily. But when she finally realized that she’d achieved her heart’s desire, she threw herself into his arms, laughing and crying at the same time, calling his name over and over. Her heart overflowed with gratitude that he’d said the words she thought she would never hear.
Holding her close, Derek admitted softly, “I’m not sure it’s the right thing for you, but I love you so much that nothing else matters if I can’t have you. Not even the Circle Cross. I don’t want it without you beside me. I know I’m not good enough for you, but I’ll spend my life trying to make you happy so you won’t ever regret marrying me.”
Her eyes brimming with happiness, she leaned back and looked up at him. “Do you know how miserable you’ve made me because you wouldn’t tell me that?”
“I was only doing what I thought was best for you,” he said humbly.
“I know.” His lips captured hers, and she surrendered to the sweet tenderness of his kiss. He released her lips and rested his chin on her head. As they sat in silence, his rapid heartbeats told Kennedy even more than his words had conveyed.
“The ‘yes’ was easy, but now comes the hard part,” Derek said. “How are we going to make a marriage between us work? Our worlds are far apart. What I’ve suspected before I’ve learned for sure in the past two days. You know I can’t live in your world, but can you live in mine?” Reluctantly, she moved out of his arms. She would have preferred to stay in them forever, but there were decisions to be made. “I will live in your world; I know you wouldn’t be happy in a city. I haven’t given it much thought, for I really didn’t believe you’d ever marry me, but I’m sure I can adjust. I liked Valentine and the Circle Cross, and in spite of the trouble, I was content being there this summer. Besides you and June, I have family in Cherry County, but only friends in California.”
“You’ll be giving up a lot.”
She shook her head. “But I’m gaining more than I’ll lose. It will be a new life for me, but I can practice law in Nebraska as well as in California. The bar exam is given in October, and it will probably be that long before I can be ready to leave here. And since I’ll be living in Nebraska, I will qualify to practice law there. I’ll talk it over with Mr. Talbot.” Making decisions as she talked, she added, “I’ll have to put my home up for sale and decide what to do with all the furnishings. We won’t need them at Riverside. I have some difficult decisions to make.”
“I know, but I want to be together as soon as we can make it. These past weeks when you’ve been in California have been the worst time in my life. I’ve been grouchy with everyone, even Mom. I wish we could get married right away.”
“Let’s get married before you leave California,” Kennedy said eagerly. “I won’t feel sure of you until we are married.” His hands slipped up her arms and drew her closer for a moment. “Whoa! Don’t tempt me, my love. We need to use our heads on this decision—not our hearts.
But don’t worry, I won’t back out now. Not that I still don’t have doubts, but I’ve got faith enough to believe that we can deal with our problems. Just last night I prayed for a sign to know what to do, and I thought that if you asked me, it would be God’s will. He answered that prayer when you proposed.”
“And while you were in Dad’s room praying, I was praying in my room across the hall. The only possible way seemed for me to take the initiative, so our decision is in the will of God. And since He’s placed a blessing on our union, it will work out for the best.”
“I believe that, or I would never marry you.”
“Since this has happened, it’s changed my plans for our day. I expected to stay here for several more hours, but I’d like to leave now and take you to meet Mr.
Talbot. He’s my friend and mentor and has sort of taken Dad’s place. He questioned my wisdom in deeding the Circle Cross to you, and I think he should meet you. He’s a good judge of character, and he’ll soon realize that I’ve made the right choice.”
“I’ll go, but I want you to promise that you won’t put my name on any of your other investments. And I don’t want to know your financial worth, or I’d probably take off running all the way back to Valentine.”
Laughing at him, Kennedy said, “But when we’re married, you’re going to be my heir, regardless.”
“No matter,” he said stubbornly. “I’ll take the Circle Cross, but I don’t want anything else. Maybe we’ll have kids someday who can inherit what your parents left you.”
She pulled his head down and kissed him soundly. “All right, I promise, and I’ll tell Mr. Talbot that you don’t want your name on anything except the Circle Cross, for he would need to know.”
Derek had an early morning flight and they had to leave the house at four o’clock, so after their meeting with Mr. Talbot, who assured Kennedy that she’d made a good choice, they returned to the house and had dinner with Rosita. They helped her clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. After she went to her room, Derek and Kennedy cuddled on the couch, making plans.
“Are we going to keep this secret?” Derek asked.
“Not as far as I’m concerned. I’d like to shout it from the highest mountains.” Derek tightened his embrace, and when she looked up, his lips slowly descended to meet hers, and for a moment she surrendered to the mastery of his kiss. “I’m still afraid that people will think I’m marrying you for your money rather than because I love you so much that I can’t live without you.”
“It isn’t my fault that I have money or yours that you don’t have much. We can’t ruin our future happiness by worrying what people will think. You tell June as
“It isn’t my fault that I have money or yours that you don’t have much. We can’t ruin our future happiness by worrying what people will think. You tell June as soon as you get home, and as soon as she knows, I’ll send a notice to the Valentine Midland News; that is, if June doesn’t reject me as a daughter-in-law,” she added with a laugh.
“That won’t happen. Mom is a wise woman, and she’ll welcome you into the family. She knows I love you.” Unconsciously running her fingers through his thick hair, Kennedy said, “I’ll send a notice to the newspaper; I suppose it will be best to mention in the notice that the date of the wedding hasn’t been determined yet.”
“Why don’t you also put the announcement in the Omaha World Herald? It has a wide circulation in Cherry County. When do you think we can get married?” She flung her hands out in indecision. “It may take a few months before I can settle my affairs and move to Nebraska. I’ll have to contact a Realtor about the house, but I won’t stay here until we get a buyer. I will definitely plan to spend Christmas with you.”
“Maybe we can get married on Christmas Eve,” Derek said eagerly—and although Kennedy was still somewhat embarrassed at her boldness in proposing to him, she knew he hadn’t felt obligated to accept her proposal.
Chapter Nineteen
The next morning before he entered security at the Los Angeles International Airport,
Derek put his arm around Kennedy’s shoulders and pulled her to one side.
“With your beauty, your brains, and your money, you could have your choice of hundreds of worthy men. I still can’t understand why you chose me.”
“Because to me you’re the most worthy man in the world, and I love you.”
“I pray that I’ll never let you down,” he whispered.
“You won’t. Let’s talk every night,” she said. She lifted her face for his kiss, wondering how she could bear to be separated from him for several more weeks.
While he waited in the airport for the plane’s departure and all during the nonstop flight to Nebraska, Derek compared the difference in his attitude and hope for the future on his flight to California to how he felt now. Approaching Los Angeles, he had been miserable, unhappy, angry, and dreading a future without Kennedy. If he refused to take the Circle Cross when Kennedy obviously wanted him to have it, would he feel obligated to leave the ranch? Was it right for him to uproot his mother from the place she loved? Where could he go to find a better opportunity than he had now? Would he be forced to leave ranching altogether and find a job in a factory or an office?
Now three days later, his future was assured at the Circle Cross and Kennedy would become his wife. Throughout his life Derek had struggled with a feeling of inferiority, but never as much as he felt it now. He still couldn’t understand why she had fallen in love with him and was willing to give up the life she’d always lived just to marry him.
Derek knew that they hadn’t discussed the greatest reason that their marriage wasn’t a good idea. He hadn’t even thought about his ancestry when he’d told her he would marry her. He had no idea what psychological, physical, and emotional traits he would bring into their marriage. And he didn’t mention it later as they planned their future. Perhaps the only solution was to ensure that they didn’t have any children. But he liked kids and had always wished he could have some of his own. And though they hadn’t talked about it, because Kennedy was an only child and was concerned because she didn’t have a close family, he figured she’d want children, too.
