Acceptable Risk

by Lynette Eason

  “That’s pretty harsh.”

  “It was so much money. Old family money that I’d been waiting a lifetime to get my hands on. I let him buy me and I’ve hated myself for it ever since.” Lewis shook his head. “I did the same thing to Rochelle too.”

  “Only the opposite. You locked her money down because she joined up.”

  “She thinks I hate her. The truth is, I respect and admire her. She gave up millions to follow her dreams. And you know what’s crazy? She did it without blinking. I honestly don’t think she even considered anything but joining the Army.”

  “Sounds like you have a few regrets about some things.”

  The general sighed. A heavy, weighted breath. “Maybe I am getting old and second-guessing myself. My father made decisions for me that I hated. Decisions that hinged on the money.” He shook his head. “That stupid money. I sacrificed my dreams for it and most people would kill for it. But honestly, some days it’s just an albatross that I’d like to shake off.”

  His friend snorted and choked on the sip of iced tea he’d been in the process of taking. “Well, shake it my way. I can always put it into the research and development side for this project.”

  “I’m afraid I’ve invested all I can. But enough about that. I’m whining. How are you doing finding the last of your needed funds?”

  “I think we’ve got it covered. Or will have it soon. I’m optimistic and ready to see this thing finished and on the market.”

  Lewis nodded. “I’m excited for you. You’re doing some worthwhile things and should be proud of all you’ve accomplished.”

  Marshall grinned. “Thanks. That means a lot.” He raised his glass. “Here’s to making peace with those we love and helping those who can’t help themselves.”

  Lewis clinked his coffee cup to the tea glass and wondered what it would take to get Rochelle talking to him again. Well, if she wanted her mail, she’d have to talk to him. He had a whole bagful to give her.

  When Gavin pulled into the parking spot of her apartment complex, Sarah tried to see it through his eyes. Run-down, shabby, slumlord owned and operated. All would be true, but she loved her little place.

  The surprise on Gavin’s face almost made her laugh.

  “I have my reasons.”

  “Something to do with your dad? I’m sure you living in this area of town just thrilled him.”

  “How’d you guess?” She looked away from him. Time to be honest. “But it wasn’t just him. I let him and—even Caden—believe it was, but the truth is, I had other reasons too.”

  “And Caden’s okay with this?”

  She scowled. “Caden didn’t have any say in the matter.”

  “I’m surprised he’s not camping out in his car every night.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah, sorry, but I’m serious.”

  He totally was.

  A rap on the window made her blink. A man in his early thirties, wearing a Stetson over dirty blond hair, stood outside the car. His green eyes were serious. “I’m going to check the perimeter while you stay with her.” He reached across Gavin and held out a hand for her to shake. “I’m Travis Walker. Nice to finally meet you, Sarah.”

  “You too. Thank you.”

  He clapped Gavin on the shoulder. “Asher’s watching you while I check the place out. Sit tight until I give the all clear.”

  “Will do.”

  He left and she watched him go. “He’s wearing boots and a cowboy hat.”

  “He’s from Texas. He doesn’t feel dressed without them.”

  “Interesting.” She turned her attention from the cowboy and narrowed her eyes at Gavin, picking up where they’d left off. “You think I can’t take care of myself? That, in normal circumstances, I need Caden to babysit? Or you think that I need you to set up a job interview? You really think that little of me?”

  “It’s not that, Sarah. I actually think very highly of you. I’ve apologized for the whole job thing—and I really meant that I was trying to help. But this is a situation where it’s about watching out for someone you love. Someone who’s deliberately put themselves in a dangerous circumstance when they didn’t have to. You’re seriously telling me this is all you could afford?”

  “Of course not, but I just said I had reasons to move in here, other than just pushing my dad’s buttons. That was just a bonus.”

  “Other reasons? Like what?”

  “My mom used to live here.”

  His lips snapped together. “Oh. What? When?”

  “Before she and the general met. Mom didn’t have anything but her beauty and brains and the desire to make something of herself. She rented this crummy apartment—which wasn’t quite so crummy at the time but is definitely worse now—so she could afford to pay for classes to get her degree. I’d just turned fourteen when she brought me here and told me her story. I didn’t know it at the time, but she’d been diagnosed recently. Later, she said she didn’t want me to associate my birthday with her cancer. Nine months ago, when I was on leave, I saw the apartment was available and I signed a lease. It’s up in three months and I’m trying to decide what to do. At the time, though, it was an impulse thing. Something that made me feel closer to her.”

  “I know she died when you were young.”

  “She had ovarian cancer. Four months after she brought me here, she died.”

  “I’m so sorry, Sarah.”

  “I am too. And neither she nor the general said a word about her illness until two weeks before she died. They didn’t tell us. Can you believe it? Our mother was dying and they didn’t tell us.” She cleared her throat to fight the surge of tears. “That’s the real reason I chose this apartment. At least that’s what I tell myself.”

  “And the fact that it made your father mad was just gravy.”

  “Yes.” She swallowed and looked at him. “I wanted to make him mad. I’ve been making him mad since the day my mother died.”

  “Why?”

  “Anger. I was so very angry.”

  “Didn’t you suspect something was wrong when she was so sick?”

  Sarah shrugged. “I thought she had the flu for a while, and truthfully, I wasn’t home a lot. Caden was four years older and already in his first year of college. Dustin was ten and oblivious. The general was overseas.” She shrugged. “And you have to understand, Mom was a master makeup artist and actor. I didn’t notice anything was terribly wrong until she passed out and I couldn’t wake her up. I had to call 911. That’s when she finally told us what was going on. I was devastated.”

  “And angry.”

  “Yes.” She paused. “I think I’m still angry about that.” She nodded at the building. “That helps for some reason.”

  His fingers squeezed hers. “Your father didn’t understand why you wanted to live here?”

  “My father doesn’t know. Mom never told him about this place. She said she was too embarrassed to show him where she lived before they met, but she wanted me to know. She grew up without a father in the picture, and I think she wanted me to see that I could still grow up and succeed without him—that I didn’t have to let his disinterest, or lack of love, cripple me for life. She encouraged me to let God be my Father and my role model.” She shook her head. “I don’t know. Whatever her motivation, it worked. Eventually.”

  “Eventually?”

  “And that’s the rest of the story I promised to tell you.”

  “Go on.”

  “After my mother died, I turned into someone I . . . can’t really describe. I wanted my father to hurt as bad as I was hurting. Or at least be so angry he couldn’t sleep. The only way I knew how to do that was to hit his pride.”

  “Okay.”

  “So, I made some decisions that had the whole school talking—and one of the general’s closest friends made sure he knew about those decisions.”

  “Such as?”

  She drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes. So hard. She’d done this once and been rejec
ted. She honestly didn’t know if she could handle it if Gavin held her past against her. But he’d kissed her. He liked her. He was looking at the future and seeing her in it. If she wanted to be a part of that, he had to know her. All of her. “Such as the fact that I became the school . . .” She couldn’t say it. She opened her eyes and looked into his. So concerned, so focused on what she was saying. “I had a lot of nicknames. A couple of them began with the letter S. The least offensive one was Sleep Around Sarah.”

  He sucked in a breath.

  The tension running through her threatened to snap every muscle in her neck.

  “Was it effective?” he asked. “With the general?”

  “Very. He sent me away to boarding school for the last two years of high school. When I graduated, I came home and moved in here. To this place where my mother used to live. And I decided that I hated myself. I hated my father, but I hated myself more. That day, I remembered our conversation and decided I’d be someone she’d be proud of no matter what. This is where, for the first time in my young life, I found some peace.”

  He lifted a hand to stroke her cheek. “She’d be proud, Sarah.”

  Sarah couldn’t look at him or she’d break down, but she nodded. “Thanks,” she whispered. He hadn’t responded to her confession. Was he repulsed? Disgusted? Ready to run as far as possible from her?

  “She eventually moved, I take it.”

  “She did,” Sarah said slowly, wondering why he hadn’t addressed what she’d just told him. Maybe he needed to process it a bit. “She was a doctor and needed to be closer to the hospital. She’d just finished her residency and was working in the Emergency Department on Christmas Day when the general came in with an appendicitis attack. She diagnosed him and he ordered her not to leave him. So, she didn’t. Once he was recovered, he came back to the hospital with flowers and asked her out.”

  “Sounds romantic.”

  “I know—and completely unlike the general. I’m not sure I believe that’s actually how it all went down, but that was her version. They married four months later and she had Caden a year after that. She quit her job to stay home with us.”

  He reached across and placed a hand on the back of her neck to gently massage. “If you get any tighter, you’re going to snap.”

  “I always tense up when I talk about her—or my past. Simply because I still miss her terribly.” And he had yet to say anything about her revelation. Was he going to ignore it?

  He hugged her, an awkward embrace over the console—why was there always that blasted console between them?—but she took comfort in it while she pondered his response to her living in the run-down area and his lack of response about her confession.

  Was he right? Was her choice a source of worry for Caden? She sighed. Of course it was, but did that make her selfish? It did if her only reason was to tick off her father.

  Gavin nudged her. “Travis is heading back this way, but I want to let you know that I don’t think any less of you, Sarah.”

  He didn’t? “Why not?”

  “You’re not that person anymore. You’ve risen above it.”

  “Have I?” she whispered. He frowned and she leaned back to catch the expression on Travis’s face. “Why does he look mad?”

  “Because he found something, and it doesn’t look like it’s a good something.” Gavin rolled the window down once more. “Well?”

  “Someone broke into her place and trashed it. I’ve called the cops.”

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY

  Sarah shot out of the truck like a bullet and Gavin scrambled after her. Travis and Asher pulled up the rear, the four of them coming to a halt just outside her apartment door.

  Her mangled apartment door. It hung from one hinge.

  “They kicked it in,” she said.

  With fingers curled into fists held at her side, she stepped over the threshold. Gavin rested a hand on her arm. “Hold up.” He glanced at Asher. “I’m assuming you cleared the place and there’s no one in there?”

  “Nah, I fixed the guy a sandwich and told him to make himself at home.”

  Travis smothered a chuckle and Gavin smirked. “You really gotta find some new material for that stand-up act.” The blip of sarcasm faded into seriousness when he looked at Sarah. “You can look, but don’t touch anything.”

  She crossed her arms, fists tucked into her armpits. “I don’t believe this. When did this happen? Surely one of my neighbors would have seen it and called it in? I’ll check with Mrs. Howard.”

  Sarah did a one-eighty and walked back through the door and across the hall to knock on the door opposite hers. “Mrs. Howard? Mrs. Howard? Are you in there?”

  Nothing.

  Footsteps from above sent Gavin into protective mode. He slipped in front of Sarah and palmed his weapon. No time to head back into her apartment. Another footfall and a young man in his late teens appeared. Tattoos covered the right side of his face, and his eyes locked on Gavin’s. For a moment, he looked ready to bolt until Sarah lunged toward him. “Jimmy!”

  “Sarah.” The young man’s face lit up and he grabbed her into a tight hug. “I thought that was you. You’re back from Kabul.”

  While Gavin’s jaw tightened, he slipped his weapon out of sight behind his back.

  Sarah stepped back and Jimmy released her. “Did you see my apartment?”

  Jimmy’s eyes narrowed. “I saw it. Me and the guys have been keeping an eye on it ever since we noticed it.”

  “Did you call the cops?”

  He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his baggy jeans and shuffled his feet. “Aw, Sarah . . .”

  “I know, I know. Dumb question. I don’t guess you saw who did it?”

  The young man dropped his head. “Naw, sorry.”

  Gavin couldn’t help but wonder if he had an idea who could have done it, though. Then again, maybe not. He obviously looked up to Sarah, maybe even cared about her.

  Jimmy jutted his chin at Gavin. “Who’s the bodyguard?”

  Sarah rolled her eyes. “He’s not a bodyguard—”

  Gavin hoped she didn’t notice his involuntary flinch.

  “—he’s a friend. He’s been helping me out since I . . . got back from Afghanistan.”

  Gavin held out a hand. Anyone who treated Sarah well was okay in his book. “Gavin Black.”

  Jimmy hesitated a fraction, sizing him up, then thrust his hand into Gavin’s. “Jimmy Lee.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “I guess my tats don’t scare you.” He eyed Gavin’s arms.

  “Should they?”

  Jimmy laughed. “Naw, man. Didn’t scare the chica here either. Dat’s when I knew we’d be friends.”

  “Um . . . Jimmy,” Sarah said, “I kinda need to find Mrs. Howard. Have you seen her?”

  “She’s not here. Took off on some spur-of-the-moment European trip thing with her granddaughter.”

  “The granddaughter from the daughter who married that wealthy politician.” She shook her head and pursed her lips. “They’ll take her on a trip to Europe to babysit their brood, but they won’t spend their precious money to move her into a safer neighborhood.” Sarah scowled. “Lousy—” She broke off and drew in a breath. “She’s collecting my mail.”

  “And I’m watering her plants and feeding her cat.” He held up a key. “That’s what I was coming down to do when I heard your racket. We can see if your mail is in there.”

  “I’ll let you check. I guess I need to take care of the apartment.”

  He shrugged. “I’ll bring it over if I see it.”

  “Thanks.”

  Gavin led her back into her trashed apartment, and the officers arrived two minutes later. The first officer introduced himself as Carlos Gonzales and his partner as Kristin Gerard.

  “When did this happen?” Officer Gonzales asked.

  “I’m not sure,” Sarah said. She raked a hand over her hair. “Probably sometime last week. I haven’t been here, and we don
’t exactly have a neighborhood watch.”

  “Right.” He wrote in his little black notebook and looked up. “Is anything missing?”

  “I was getting ready to figure that out.”

  He nodded.

  “I’ll just go knock on some doors and see if anyone’s willing to tell us anything,” Officer Gerard said.

  “Don’t count on it,” Gonzales muttered.

  “Hey now,” Sarah said, “don’t discount my neighbors. They may not have a lot of money, but they’re mostly good people.”

  “One of them probably did this,” the man said.

  Sarah planted her hands on her hips. “No, one of them probably didn’t. I have a feeling this had nothing to do with anyone who lives in this building.” She headed toward her bedroom before she was tempted to say more. She understood his instant leap to judgment. He was a cop. He saw his fair share of human depravity on a daily basis, but she wasn’t kidding. She’d gotten to know her neighbors and thought highly of several.

  And not so highly of others.

  However, she wasn’t lying when she said she couldn’t think of one who would do this. She walked into her bedroom and sighed. Every drawer had been pulled out and dumped and the built-in bookshelf in the far corner swept clean. Books littered the floor. The en suite bath had suffered the same type of damage. The question was, had they found what they’d been looking for?

  Probably not, if it was the package Dustin had sent to her.

  Gavin stepped next to her. “I just heard from Caden. He said the detectives tracked down Max’s home. Only he’s not there and apparently hasn’t been for a while. There aren’t any airline, train, or bus tickets in his name, so no one is sure where he is.”

  She frowned. “Odd.”

  “They’re still looking for him. Hopefully, he’ll turn up soon.”

  Once the officers left, she looked around. “I don’t guess there’s anything else to do here other than clean up—and find Jimmy to see if there was a package in my mail from Dustin.”

  “There wasn’t.” She turned at Jimmy’s voice. He stood in the doorway. “I did find this, though. Thought it was weird because it has your last name on it. Who’s Lewis Denning?” He handed her a sticky note.