“Next time, do what the hell I tell you, damn it.” Jake turned a malevolent glare on her. His chest rose and fell in quick bursts; his eyes glinted dark with anger.
She ignored the fury in his features and took a deep, calming breath. “It’s the fork.”
Jake gathered up more of the lead, tightening the rope and reeling the horse closer. “You didn’t know that. It could have been anything. This isn’t the first time you’ve been on the wrong end of one of his episodes, Gabrielle. You’re damn lucky he hasn’t hurt you.”
Mamoon dropped his head, as if in submission, and swung his gaze her way. His dark eyes glinted with soft light, a stark contrast to the fight that had shone in their depths only moments ago. She reached out a shaking hand, and he touched his nose to her palm. She caught Jake’s gaze over the horse’s head. “It was the fork. Look. Not you, not me, not some weird mental episode. The fork, Jake. Just like the whips. Someone beat him with a fork.”
Wordlessly, Jake passed her the lead rope. As she held it, he moved closer to the abandoned pick. Mamoon sidestepped to keep Jake in his line of sight, and Gabrielle slid her hand to the end of the rope to give the horse room.
When Jake picked up the manure fork a second time, Mamoon’s eyes went wide. He stiffened, his body as tight as a band of iron. Gaze glued on the stallion, Jake dropped the fork a second time, and Mamoon visibly relaxed.
“Who the hell beats a horse with a pitchfork?” he asked with disgust.
Gabrielle ran her hand down Mamoon’s back. “I don’t know, but someone did. C’mon, boy.” She heaved a sigh and collected the lead. Spirits dampered, she led him out of the arena and down the aisle. Whips, forks—what else had Mamoon seen in his nine years? And why? What had this horse done in his early years to make someone treat him so terribly?
“Give him a peppermint at the doorway,” Jake instructed quietly.
The command was so out of character, she couldn’t help but laugh. So she wasn’t the only one who used bribery. She fished around in her pocket and retrieved another disk. Mamoon’s attention pulled to her as the cellophane crinkled. He nudged her hand impatiently, paying no mind to the threshold she led him over.
Inside the stall, she rewarded him with the treat and a tight hug. “See you tomorrow, pretty boy.” She avoided Jake’s gaze as she exited.
“Hey,” he called as she neared the feed room. “I’m sorry.”
His apology stopped her in her tracks. She shoved her hands into her coat pocket and shuffled around to face him, fully expecting to see the tight lines of annoyance still pulling at his chiseled features. Instead, what she found took her breath away. Rooted in place near Mamoon’s stall, Jake’s features were soft and expressive. A mix of sincerity and regret and something else she couldn’t identify poured from his unblinking stare.
“I just…” Jake pushed a hand through his hair, then dragged it down his face. He closed his eyes as he pulled in a deep breath. “I can’t stomach the idea of your getting hurt,” he confessed quietly.
Gabrielle’s heart turned over. He cared. He really cared. Not just the kind of concern that came from someone who knew horses and understood the dangers, but the deep kind of feeling that said she meant something. Maybe she hadn’t dreamed his confession after all. I love you rose up in her thoughts, screaming for freedom. She swallowed the words and beckoned him closer by extending her hand. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
He took a step forward, and his cell phone chirped. With a frown, he plucked it out of his coat pocket. “Sullivan here.” He rolled his eyes, but the look of annoyance faded as the caller said something Gabrielle couldn’t hear. Jake’s bright blue gaze lit with interest. “Really? Okay. Tomorrow at nine? Thanks.”
He snapped the phone shut and flashed her a grin. “Truck’s ready.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Eyes closed, Jake braced a hand against the wall and let the hot water pelt his head and shoulders. He could still see Gabrielle’s expression when he’d told her his truck was ready. In that solitary moment where her features fell before a shaky smile touched her delicate mouth, he’d read heartbreak. Absolute, devastating heartbreak.
And he’d felt it too. Even now, hours later, the idea of leaving her in the morning tightened his chest to the point where he couldn’t suck in air. Yet, he couldn’t stay. He could cancel his pick up in Florida, could even dump the frozen sweetener somewhere and forget about it. But today had only driven home the reasons why he couldn’t do the things he longed to. When Gabrielle had refused to listen, when she’d put herself right underneath those hooves to pick up the lead rope, all he could see was death. For one terrifying moment, he’d been in his barn in Houston, staring down at his mother’s body. Only it wasn’t his mother on the ground. Gabrielle lay there motionless, a broken pile of beauty forever ripped away from him.
It wasn’t even Mamoon that made staying with Gabrielle impossible. Though he’d like to blame that damn horse alone, the danger came with every horse Gabrielle owned. Sure, most of them would never balk at anything she requested. But there was always the possibility. Always the chance that when she least expected a fight, one of her treasured companions would give her one. And only God knew which one might be her last.
Mamoon, however, made everything worse.
Jake raised his head and curled his hand into a fist. He’d been right there when Mamoon had blown up and still hadn’t seen it coming. He’d thought he had finally figured out that crazy beast. If he hadn’t, he’d never have let Gabrielle so close today. Yet, just as he came to the conclusion he’d discovered everything that triggered Mamoon into crazy, the damned horse pulled a fast one. What else had Mamoon hidden from them?
He leaned forward and tapped his forehead against the shower tiles. Damn it all. He couldn’t stay, he couldn’t leave. What would happen when he wasn’t here? How long would it be before Gabrielle spent an afternoon in the barn alone, and he got a phone call from Margie three days later?
“Christ,” he hissed through clenched teeth. Lifting his face to the steamy spray, he let the droplets drown out the thoughts. This was exactly why he had to leave. Every day he spent with her, he grew more attached. Became more obsessed with the driving need to keep her safe. And he couldn’t do that unless he went back to horses. The last few days he’d done for her. Though he’d enjoyed the time in the barn, not a second passed without some constant reminder of his early days and the team he’d made with his mother.
Her presence haunted him. Her voice tormented him. Why’d you say no, Jake? Why’d you let me do it? If you’d been here that afternoon, none of this would have happened.
Questions the hum of tires on the highway and the jangle of voices on the CB silenced.
Jake Sullivan pulled cargo. He shot the shit with men who never asked about his past, the same men who didn’t give a damn about anything related to horses. Make it to the next town. Pick up the next load. Log the miles. Pull over and sleep when too many accumulated in one day. Deliver the cargo on time. The routine kept the memories at bay. Jake Lindsey-Sullivan didn’t exist there, and Jake Lindsey-Sullivan didn’t deserve to exist.
Hell, Gabrielle didn’t even know who he really was. She cared for a man who told her decent stories and half-truths so he didn’t have to face the shame of what he’d done. He already knew what happened when she thought she’d been lied to. He didn’t need anyone to tell him how quickly she’d erase him out of her life if she learned just how much he’d lied to her. Whatever thoughts he might have had about staying—if he’d had them—she’d rip him into pieces before he could finish telling the story.
He spun the faucets off and dragged in a deep breath. His bags were packed. Gabrielle had helped him after the disastrous dinner they’d shared. He had to leave. But tonight, he had one more night in her arms. One more night to show her how much she meant and pray the memories they created wouldn’t turn him into an unforgivable asshole.
Tonight he’d tell her in every w
ay he could imagine, without admitting it aloud, just how much he loved her.
Quickly, he toweled off and tugged on his boxers. As he moved to hang the towel on the rod beneath the window, a glint of gold on the sink top caught his attention. He moved aside a bottle of pink lotion and picked up a solitary, gold hoop earring. A dainty little horseshoe dangled from the delicate loop, a symbol of what Gabrielle cherished. Jake closed his fingers around the trinket. Would she miss it? Probably. Nowhere near as much as he’d miss her, however.
He dropped the earring into his shaving bag and zipped it closed. He could burn in hell for stealing, if he must. He wouldn’t leave everything behind.
Gathering up his personal things, he made his way to the bedroom. Her green gaze fell on him as he entered, but she didn’t return his smile. Sadness lurked in those captivating eyes, so bright and fierce his stomach twisted tight. With a thick swallow, he stuffed his things into his duffle bag, took a moment to pull out his clothes for morning, and slid into bed beside her.
“Are you staying in Colorado tomorrow? It’s only a couple hours from here. I can keep the door unlocked if you want,” she offered in a near whisper.
She’d all but said please. Jake rolled to his side to snap off the light before she could see the heartache that made him wince. He wanted to come back. Wanted to come home to Gabrielle before he had to pick up oats in Tallahassee. If she’d go with him…
He shoved the idea aside and hauled her into his arms. He wouldn’t ask her to give up on her dreams so he could run from his. “It’ll be late by the time I get everything done.”
Her sharp intake of breath told him she knew he was lying again. Only this time, she didn’t press the issue. He didn’t give her time to either. Suddenly desperate to ease the aching canker in his chest, he sought her mouth. She was there in an instant, her response every bit as needy.
“Oh, Gabby, I—” His murmur died against her throat as the words of love almost tumbled free. He choked them back. No use telling her what lay in his heart. She’d never understand why he walked away. They would only bring her pain. He cupped her breast, lifting it so he could swirl the tip of his tongue around one firm nipple. “You’re so beautiful.”
She arched against him with a sigh of contented surrender. Her fingertips glided gently through his hair as she slid a smooth leg between his. She held his head in place as he licked and suckled, her quiet sounds of pleasure drowning him.
Beautiful didn’t describe her. In the moonlight that filtered through the bedroom windows, her skin took on a luminescent quality. Her closed eyes, the rapture that softened her features and lifted the corners of her mouth in a hint of a smile, sent his heart tumbling into his ribs. If it were possible, she was even lovelier tonight than she had been that first evening by the fire. He struggled against a rush of fierce desire and rolled her onto her back.
She lifted long eyelashes to gaze up at him, and that hinting smile transformed into tenderness. Even in the dark, he recognized the glint in her eyes, the way they shone at him as they had before he’d mentioned his truck. Love radiated there, and a feeling so profound Jake couldn’t wrap his mind around it sank down deep into his gut. He trembled with the impact, the arm he held himself up with threatened to collapse.
I love you, sugar. I love you too.
Gabrielle tugged at his shoulders, and he lowered himself to indulge in her sweet kiss. Peppermint toothpaste met his tongue, blending with another flavor that he could only describe as Gabrielle. His hips sank into hers, his body’s plaintive request for more, for everything she could give.
She spread her legs making room, and, as he settled against her, heat soaked into him. The urge to embed himself in her womanly depths rose fast and hard. He groaned against it, wanting to prologue this pleasure as long as humanly possible. He kissed her eyes, her lips, her cheeks, her hair, intending to etch the smallest details into his memory. She smelled of flowers and oh-so-womanly, his head reeled. Her hair was soft and thick, like dense strands of silk wound together. Her mouth was warm and pliant, meeting his gentle kiss with matching ardor.
He explored her breasts with a blind man’s touch, traced her body’s gentle curves in a slow, unhurried fashion. Her smooth skin, the fullness of her mouth, the melodic quality of her voice as she murmured his name; nothing had ever brought him more pleasure. But as she wound her legs around his waist and lifted up into him, the temptation became impossible. He pulled his hips back, aligned himself, and slid in deep.
A gasp ripped from his throat as ecstasy surged through his body. Unable to move, he let the sensation flood his senses. So perfect. So absolutely everything he’d ever wanted. Ever dreamed of. This was where he belonged. With her, telling her every night how much he needed her.
Gabrielle moved against him. Her lips danced down his throat to his shoulder. Her teeth nipped, her tongue soothed. Buried inside her slick sheath, his cock pulsed. With a little push, Jake drove himself in deeper. God, she was heaven and hell all wrapped into one exceptional package.
“Jake.” She tossed her head side-to-side and squirmed.
He pulled back, giving her what she wanted. Her body rose up to meet his retreat, her calves locked down tight. He tumbled against her, his control shattered. In fierce, demanding thrusts that she met perfectly, he surrendered to all the feeling he bore. She was his, he was hers. Tomorrow was a distant possibility that making love to Gabrielle erased. All the intimacy they shared seemed small and weak in comparison. This was different. Richer, deeper than he’d ever known.
Her arms wound around his waist, her nails scored into his back. Reaching behind him, he found her hand and brought it to up to the pillow behind her head. He twined his fingers through hers, the need to connect in as many ways as possible consuming him. Another possessive thrust into her silken warmth, and she quaked beneath him.
The slip and slide of their bodies and the heat generated from the spectacular friction pounded him like a herd of wild horses barreling across a barren plain. Pleasure mounted, built, spiked. Ecstasy ripped through him in suffocating waves. He sank his hips into hers as he came on a never-ending tide of sensation, dimly aware of the soft sound of her voice when she called out his name.
Awareness filtered through his bliss. Her fingers relaxed their hold on his hand, and he realized he’d clenched hers so tightly, he’d likely left bruises. With an inward chuckle, he loosened his grip and drew her hand between their bodies. His heart thumped in triple time, his ragged breath mixing with the raspy sound of hers.
Beneath him, she lay pliant and soft. A smile danced on her lips, an irresistible call he couldn’t ignore. He dusted a kiss against them, then feathered his mouth across her cheek before resting his forehead against her shoulder. The storm of emotion raging inside made speech impossible, and so he chose silence, content to hold her and bathe in the feel of her soft curves flush with his.
Spent, he lay entangled in Gabrielle’s arms for several long moments until the air cooled the perspiration on his skin. Not wanting to separate himself from her, he carried her with him as he rolled onto his back and reached one arm down for the quilt.
Chuckling, Gabrielle helped him cover their bodies, and then propped herself up on her elbows to look down at him. Her hair draped over her shoulders, framed her face. He pushed a lock behind her ear and traced her cheek with his fingertips. She nuzzled his hand with the side of her face, her smile stuttering his heart.
“That was beautiful, Jake.” She softly kissed his palm. “You’re beautiful. Everything about you makes me never want to spend a day without you in it.”
He swallowed against the torrent of despair that followed her whisper. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life waking up to her slender body cozied up to his. Nothing more than to go to bed each night with her in his arms. Visions of the life they could have shared flashed in his mind—laughter, loving, a little house in the mountains, a little girl tugging on his shirt. He squeezed his eyes shut to the i
mages and held Gabrielle tighter. “I don’t want to either,” he managed on a hoarse whisper.
It would kill him. Eat at him like salt on an open wound. Every day he had to face without hearing her voice or seeing her breathtaking smile would carve holes in his damnable heart. He couldn’t tolerate the idea of leaving her behind. Couldn’t accept the idea he’d never again feel the tenderness in her kiss, the gentle way her fingers caressed his skin. He never wanted to spend another moment without her at his side.
And yet…he would. If he stayed, the man she loved would die.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The highway stretched out before Gabrielle. Ten miles to Hays. There, Jake would climb into his turquoise rig and hit the road. When he’d come back, she didn’t know. A dozen times or more she’d asked or hinted, and Jake somehow managed to change the subject every time. His avoidance, the silence that engulfed them the closer they got to the transmission shop, set off alarm bells in her mind.
She stole a sideways glance at him and struggled against a knot of anguish. Staring out the passenger’s side window, he drummed his fingers on the armrest. His other hand bunched into a tight fist on the knee closest to her. How long had it been since he’d said anything without being prompted? Twenty miles? Thirty? Too long to ease the nagging apprehension churning in her belly.
Unable to tolerate another moment of the silence, she reached between them and settled her hand over his. “A penny for your thoughts?”
As he turned to her, she caught the faraway look in his bright blue eyes. He didn’t turn his palm over and slip his fingers between hers. Instead, he reached for the heating vent and settled into the corner of the seat, distancing himself even further. Anguish bubbled up, and Gabrielle forced her attention back to the road.
“Will you take Rajiv to Scottsdale?”
She blinked. Do what? Her life was crumbling around her, and Jake wanted to talk about horses? What the hell? Couldn’t he see how this strange distance was killing her? Why didn’t he say something to alleviate her worry? “Rajiv?”
Waiting For Yes Page 24
