I became aware of how warm her body was as I held her against me. I inhaled her scent and suddenly felt a desire to kiss her neck. It was so close to my lips, so inviting. It took all my strength not to nibble at her ear.
She seemed to sense a change in the mood, because she pulled away and looked up into my eyes, her face deadly serious. “I’m warning you now, Gabe Dawson. No funny business. I’m doing this for my parents and the farm. Don’t be getting any ideas about me, okay?”
Rather than admit to my momentary loss of control, I puffed out my chest and eyed her indignantly. “As if Torres! This is strictly business and nothing else.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously for a moment, before shaking her head and flashing her teeth in a dazzling smile. I noted that her cheeks had gone red, and I wondered for a moment if she had sensed something between us. I laughed with her, anxious to prove that I was keeping it real.
Lana cleared her throat and looked towards the living room and back to me. She looked a little dazed.
“I guess we’d better go tell everyone the good news.”
Chapter Seven
Lana
It didn’t take long for the news to spread like wildfire. Everyone in town was enthralled by our whirlwind affair. I couldn’t believe that everyone was soaking up the lie, never mind the fact that I had actually agreed to marry Gabe. Even if it was a fake marriage.
We decided that I would move into the main farmhouse to make everything look more realistic. Mom and dad knew that the engagement was a sham, but they understood our reasons behind it. I think mom had always secretly hoped that Gabe and I would get together, so even though we were faking it, she was quite pleased all the same.
In all the excitement, I never once forgot Kyle. It felt like I was betraying his memory by agreeing to be part of this crazy scheme, so I spent hours reminding myself that it wasn’t actually real.
As I moved my things over into the bedroom Gabe had set up for me, the little inner monologue in my head kept up a constant mantra of “it’s only for six months,” over and over.
Gabe came into the bedroom and dumped a cardboard box full of my belongings on the floor. “I think that’s the last of your things. I’m going to put on some pizza. Do you want some?”
“Yes please, I’m starving.”
He smiled and wavered at the door. “Are you absolutely certain you’re okay with this? I mean, if we’re moving too quickly, we can slow it all down.”
“I’m fine Gabe. The quicker we move on this, the quicker it will all be over and we can go back to living our lives. Now go on and make me some food before I change my mind!”
I quickly hung up my clothes and packed away the rest of my belongings. Gabe called me down for dinner, so I shrugged on my pajamas and bathrobe and headed down the stairs. He had laid out a huge pizza and a large bowl of salad on the dining table. It smelled wonderful.
I sat down and watched him potter around the kitchen, his shoulder blades rippling underneath his navy tee. I was embarrassed to note a little shiver traveling down my spine when he turned to face me. His cheeks were flushed red from exertion and his high cheekbones accentuated those smoldering blue eyes. He had plump lips that naturally pouted, looking like they were ready for some serious kissing action.
Jeez, I needed to get a hold of myself.
Gabe sat down across from me and grabbed a slice of pizza. “Help yourself.”
I dug in to the pizza, giving it all my attention, and resolutely not looking at those amazing lips.
“Oh, I forgot to give you this.”
I stopped eating and followed his hand as it pushed a small box towards me. It took a moment for my brain to register what it was when I opened it. “Holy shit.”
He frowned. “Don’t you like it? You can choose your own one if you like.”
My tongue seemed to be stuck to the roof of my mouth. “Um, no. No need.” The diamond sparkled in the white gold setting. I was completely mesmerized by its beauty. Picking it up carefully, I held it up and watched as it reflected in the light. “This is just beyond beautiful, Gabe. But why?”
“I figured that if we were going to pretend to be engaged that you should at least have a ring.”
I slipped the solitaire diamond ring on my finger and studied it. “It’s clearly not just a trinket though. You didn’t have to buy anything so fancy.”
“We want people to believe the relationship is real, don’t we?”
A wave of confusion swept through me. The last time I had worn a ring on that finger, it was the one Kyle had given to me. I couldn’t help but frown as I twisted the ring absentmindedly.
I became aware of the warmth of Gabe’s hand on top of mine. “You don’t have to wear it all the time if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s all just for show.”
I looked across the table, searching his face for clues of deception. “Really? Are you sure?”
“Of course. Just put it on when we’re in company.”
“Okay, I can live with that.” I slipped the ring off my finger and placed it gently back in the box. I tried to ignore Gabe’s reaction, which gave me the idea that he was more bothered about me taking off the ring than he had let on. My heart thumped hard in my chest as I tried to push away the alarm bells ringing in my head about this fake marriage. I had to deal with it as best I could.
After we finished eating, I went back up the stairs to get ready for bed. I was just brushing my teeth when I heard shouting down the stairs. I ran to the landing and saw Matt holding Gabe against the wall, his arm pulled back and his fingers packed in a fist, ready to punch him.
“Hey! What’s going on?” I ran down the stairs and pushed my way in between the two angry men. Matt looked down at me and tried to push me out of the way, but I held firm.
He scowled at Gabe. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, moving her into this house?”
Gabe moved me behind him and stepped towards his brother. “I asked her to move in with me. We’re engaged.”
Matt threw his hands up in the air. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re seriously going to marry Lana just so you can stop me from getting the estate? And when were you planning to tell me that you were moving her into the house? Jesus Gabe. Dad’s only just been put into the ground and you’re already moving a woman in here!”
“She’s not just any woman. It’s Lana. We’ve known her since we were kids! Anyway, I saw the plans you had drawn up for the land. You were going to destroy dad’s legacy.”
Matt paced around the room. “You said you didn’t care about his legacy!”
Gabe yelled back. “Well I changed my mind, okay!”
Matt turned on me. “And what about you? I can’t believe you would agree to this!”
I squared up to him. “Why wouldn’t I? We love each other. It just took us all these years to figure it out. We’re perfect for each other.”
Matt’s eyes narrowed in disbelief. “I don’t believe you. What? You expect me to believe that you’ve both suddenly realized that you’re meant to be together? Right at the moment in time that dad dies and makes a stipulation in his Will that Gabe has to marry a local woman? Give me a fucking break. What do you take me for? A moron?”
“Well, if the cap fits,” I sneered.
He went for me as though to hit me, and Gabe stepped in front of him. “Don’t you dare!”
Matt pushed Gabe backwards. “Fuck you, man! You always have to ruin everything for me!”
“Oh yeah? Why don’t you just leave then?”
“Don’t worry. I’m going.” Matt stormed up the stairs, banged about in his room and then flew back down into the kitchen. He stabbed a finger at Gabe’s chest. “I can’t believe you would do this to your own brother.”
“Get out Matt.”
“Don’t think this is the last you’ll hear of me. You won’t get away with this!”
Matt turned and stormed out of the door. Gabe went to go after him but I grabbed his arm. “Gabe, no. Let him
go. If you fight him it will only make it worse.”
Gabe suddenly crumbled and slid to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there trying to process what had just happened.
I tried to make light of the situation. “Well, that went swimmingly.”
Gabe looked up at me and grimaced. “I don’t know if I can do this. It doesn’t seem right. He’s my brother, and here I am trying to screw him out of an inheritance.”
I got on the floor beside him and touched his arm. “I know it feels bad right now, but if we don’t do this, your dad’s legacy will be destroyed.”
Gabe signed and slid further down on the floor until he was lying looking at the ceiling. He put his hands behind his head and stared, his eyes darting around as though he was trying to figure stuff out in his head. I lay on my side right next to him, and just let him think it out.
After a moment or two, I laid my hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. “Penny for your thoughts?”
He turned to face me and smiled weakly. “I don’t really know what’s going on in my head right now. I’m sorry for what happened with Matt though.”
“It’s okay. We knew he would react like that. We just have to give him time to get used to the idea of fake you and me.”
He smiled and let out a sigh of relief. I leaned in with the idea of giving him a friendly peck on the cheek but somehow our lips found each other.
I froze, holding my breath. We exchanged anxious glances and I pulled away. “Um, I think I should…”
“Yeah, we should…” Gabe shifted and I moved to sit up, my mind going a hundred miles an hour. Oh my God! I had kissed him! What the hell was I doing?
I cleared my throat and turned to stand up. Gabe’s face was a mixture of confusion and something else. I couldn’t place it. But his lips…they were so beautiful, and my heart rate was speeding up and…he looked up at me and his eyes flashed a bright blue, and it was definitely there, a flash of pure lust.
Like a magnet, I was drawn closer to him. I opened my mouth to speak but his lips were brushing against mine again, and I completely lost the plot. My lips responded to his, and there was a hungry clashing of skin and teeth as we explored each other’s mouths.
My fingers clawed at his tee and sparks flew through me as my fingertips connected with his hot skin. His breathing was hot and ragged as he thrust his hips towards me and I could feel his erection straining behind the soft fabric of his jeans.
I groaned as my hips rose to meet him again, my body seeming to come alive for the first time in years. We barely took a breath as we explored each other, kissing, nibbling, whispered curses and soft moans as we found solace in each other’s arms.
His fingers slid along my body, the slightest touch sending me into a frenzy. I reached up and pulled his head down, locking him in a kiss as though my life depended on his breath. I wanted him inside me. I needed to feel him deep within me. I hadn’t been touched this way since Kyle…
I froze.
“No.”
I pushed him away. “No, stop. I…can’t do this.”
He froze.
His breath was ragged and his eyes were glazed from the endorphins running through his body.
My mind raced, a mixture of contradictory feelings and sensations buzzing through my body. Guilt. Lust. Sadness. “Please,” I pleaded, trying to move him off of me.
He pulled away and sat down beside me. “I…don’t…I’m so sorry, Lana.”
I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.”
“I don’t know what came over me.” He stood up, stumbling a little before steadying himself.
I couldn’t look at him. The shame was too much to bear. “It’s been a long day. I think we should forget this happened and go to bed.” My voice sounded so small and weak.
He nodded in agreement and helped me to my feet. I followed him up the stairs and was grateful to finally close the door in my new bedroom. I climbed into bed and pulled the comforter up around my ears. Tears ran down my nose and splashed on to the pillowcase. Had I kissed him or had he kissed me? How did that just happen? Who was to blame?
Either way I knew I had betrayed Kyle. Grief flooded my senses and I lay back on the bed, my mouth wide open in a silent scream as the tears continued to flow.
Chapter Eight
Lana
The next day, Gabe had to go into town to take care of some business and I agreed to look after Louie. I think we were both quite relieved to have some time apart after the fight with Matt and whatever the hell it was that happened between us the night before. We didn’t talk about it before he left. I wanted to scrub all memory of it from my mind.
I threw all of my energy into looking after Louie. It was the only way I could get through the day without falling apart. Luckily me and the little guy had already developed a good bond, so it was easy to spend the time with him, and to stop my mind from wandering towards guilt and shame.
Louie exhausted both of us, running round the farm all morning, playing hide and seek and petting the cows and horses. We made mud pies and threw them at the old dilapidated cow shed down the back of the farm. For lunch, we ate sandwiches while sitting on the old hay bales, and watching the farmhands go about their business.
After making a mess of the kitchen while helping me to make cookies, Louie informed me that I was the best friend ever, before he curled up on the couch next to me and fell asleep. I soothed myself by stroking his hair and listening to him snore. Yawning, I settled in for a snooze beside him. After all the emotions from recent events, I was pretty tired.
I always thought that Kyle and I would have kids together. When he died, I pushed the thought of ever having children out of my mind. It wasn’t even conceivable that I would find a man to replace Kyle, never mind consider having kids. I had to admit though, that I enjoyed having Louie around, even though our living arrangement was hard to get used to. He seemed to accept that I was living with his dad, and didn’t kick up much of a fuss about anything. In fact, out of the three of us, Louie was the one who simply accepted what was happening and got on with it.
I shifted uncomfortably in the chair, trying to find a more comfortable position without waking Louie up, just as Gabe arrived home and dumped his laptop bag on the kitchen table. He smiled when he saw Louie lying asleep beside me. His face always softened when he looked at Louie.
“He’s out for the count. He ran me ragged around the farm today. I honestly don’t know where he gets his energy from. It’s hard to think we used to be like that.”
“Thank you for looking after him today. I’ll take him up to bed.” Gabe lifted him off the couch and climbed up the stairs. I followed him up and watched as he tucked the little boy into bed, gently kissing his forehead and wiping a wisp of dark hair away from his forehead.
“He’s lucky to have a father like you,” I said as Gabe closed the door to Louie’s room.
“No, you’ve got it the wrong way round. I’m the lucky one.” I couldn’t disagree so I smiled and wandered into my bedroom and sat on the bed. I patted the bed and he came to sit next to me. “Listen, about last night…”
I stopped him. “Let’s not go there. We were both stressed out and things just got a bit out of hand. I think it would be a good idea to forget it happened.”
He nodded in agreement. I searched around for something else to talk about. “Do you think Rebecca will ever get in contact with you, or try to get custody of Louie?”
He let out a long sigh, and I immediately felt guilty for bringing up the subject. “No, I don’t. And I would fight her tooth and nail if she tried to take Louie away from me after the way she walked away from us.”
“You must have been heartbroken.”
He chuckled softly. “That’s putting it mildly. Of all the things that Rebecca could do to me, I never once imagined that she would ghost me and Louie like that.”
&nb
sp; “Ghosted you? She didn’t even tell you that she was leaving?”
He nodded. “It didn’t feel real, you know? For the first six months, I thought that she would come back and everything would be okay. I had this crazy thing in my head that she was just gone on an extended vacation, not quite able to believe that she was gone. But then six months passed and she still hadn’t contacted me. I couldn’t understand how she could do that to our child, how she could just walk away from our adorable little boy.”
“I’m so sorry Gabe. You and Rebecca always seemed so happy. I didn’t realize that she had ghosted you like that. Of course, I was wrapped up in my relationship with Kyle while most of it was going on so I was never entirely sure what had happened. It doesn’t make sense though, Gabe. She used to pine for you whenever you were on a tour of duty. I remember thinking that it must have been hard for her, when you were away so much.”
He rubbed his neck and smiled wryly. “I’ll never know, since she didn’t bother to give me a reason for leaving. She didn’t even wait for me to finish a tour. She just dumped Louie at the farmhouse and disappeared. I had to get special dispensation from command to leave the army.”
I felt the confusion, anger and sadness emanating from him. It made me want to take him in my arms and tell him everything was going to be all right. But I knew that would be a lie. After all, Gabe had experienced almost the same type of grief that I had, with the only difference being that Rebecca was still alive, carrying on with life somewhere else. But the intense loss of a loved one being there one moment and gone the next was the same, regardless of whether that loved one was dead or alive.
“How are you holding up?”
“Huh?” I looked over at him in confusion.
“This thing we’re doing. I feel pretty awkward pretending to be in love, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling. And then we go and do…what we did last night, and it muddies the waters, and…” He tailed off, his face flushed red with embarrassment.
Single Daddy's Valentine Page 4
