by Michael Todd
Timothy smacked his lips. “That they should. It would be fabulous, that’s for sure. It would have to be like steel polish or something, though.”
Calvin looked at them. “They should make gloves that have the special steel fingertips. That way you could claw your way through like Catwoman.”
Timothy’s eyes lit up. “Oh my God, I’m fainting. I could totally wear the whole getup. The lycra suit, the wig, and those special claws. I would even wear the little furry ears. Holy hell, this bitch would be fabulous.”
Stephanie elbowed him. “You could wear those spike-heeled Prada boots we saw.”
Timothy shook his head, continuing to fan himself. “Girl, I am in love. Where is Joshua? I need that man to put down the grenade launchers and get his ass in gear. Momma needs a brand-new pair of claws.”
He stood up and strutted toward the armory building, Stephanie whistling after him. Everyone smiled as he curtsied and threw open the armory door, yelling Joshua’s name at the top of his lungs. “Joshua! We have fashion to make.”
Beelzebub shook off his scales as he appeared in one of the gorges in hell. It was off the beaten path, so no one would pay any attention to him being there. No demons were out that way, and the only other being was the specialist Beelzebub had summoned. He kicked one of the stones into the river of flowing lava and put his hands on his hips. A large lavafall cascaded over the edge of the cliff above. The goop dripped down the fall and plummeted into the small pool below, making gargling and bubbling sounds.
“This is an interesting place. Don’t know how I haven’t found it before,” Beelzebub muttered to himself, looking at the lava pool.
The specialist demon walked over with an air of nervousness surrounding him. “This has been here for centuries. It was created when Lucifer banished Hindleroth to the depths of hell. He slammed his body into the rock and created the gorge. The lava just flowed right over. Beautiful sight, really.”
Beelzebub lifted an eyebrow and walked closer to the falls. “Yes, well, it will be even more beautiful if my plan works the way I hope it will. How much lava is flowing per minute here?”
The demon pushed up his invisible glasses. “It would really depend on the viscosity of the lava, where it was flowing, if there was an eruptive force behind it, and so on. In hell, things move differently than on Earth, of course. Lava flows at about half the rate of water.”
Beelzebub sighed. “How about for this?”
The demon looked at the lava pool. “I would guess between two and five cubic meters per second, nearly twenty million gallons of lava every few minutes. Then again, the temperatures in hell are very high. I would wager that if this lavafall were in, say, Hawaii, it would flow much slower because the air is cooler. It would thicken the lava considerably. We would still see around five million gallons of lava every few minutes.”
Beelzebub put his hand on his chin thoughtfully and walked to the edge of the gorge. “Hmm. That is not bad at all. I will have to select an appropriately-sized town. If the city is too large, the lava won’t do nearly enough damage.”
The demon looked at him nervously. Beelzebub waved his hand. “You may go. But remember, not a word about this to anyone. Do you understand?”
The demon nodded fearfully and raced off through the gorge. He jumped onto a wall and scampered out of sight. When he was gone, Beelzebub waved his hand again, and a world map of Earth sprang into view. He studied it closely.
“This will be a beautiful test for those meatsacks. I will test their agility and courage, then pour this lava straight down on one of their precious little cities. They won’t even see it coming. They’ll be too busy fighting the initial demons I send in,” he mused.
He waved the map away and paced up and down the edge of the lava pool. The hot molten liquid churned and bubbled below. He had seen what lava did to humans. He’d been there when Vesuvius erupted on Pompeii. That had been an exciting sight, but it had been random. The opening gate had sparked the volcano and created an event that would live in infamy both in hell and on Earth. Vesuvius had been a fantastic accident. The next major eruption would be purposeful.
Beelzebub continued his trek through the gorge, talking to himself as he went. “Baal talks about these humans being so tough and so strong. He lets them get the best of him and Moloch, but I do not believe it for a second. The humans I know are weak and fragile. They only fight for their own skins, not for others. Those two have seriously overestimated them. I’m going to prove that. There’s no better way to extinguish the light of a rally than to burn them all straight into the ground. Fires will rage, my dear Baal, and when the lava hardens to stone, we will see who is left standing.”
10
Katie giggled as she flew through the air, this time with an actual cape latched around her neck. It wasn’t a sheet. She had purchased it online. This time she wasn’t absolutely wasted, either. She and Pandora had needed to fight some crime, take down some demons, and generally blow off some fucking steam. Between the general and the attack on her base, she was starting to lose her mind.
Pandora laughed as they dove between buildings, the cape flapping between her widespread wings. What you need is to kick some ass. Feel that rush again. Feel like you’re doing something good and it’s all worth it.
Katie soared to the right. You’re right. I do need a reminder.
And what better way to do that than as Slut Girl?
Katie and Pandora both started singing her ringtone. Duh nuh, nuh nuh, nuh nuh, nuh nuh, Slut Girl!
They laughed as they swooped toward Brooklyn. Katie reveled in the wind on her face and enjoyed the flight. This is such a perfect fall night. I love it.
Pandora sniffed. Uh-oh, I smell trouble. To the east, about three city blocks.
Katie put on her game face and swooped right. She soared down a row of apartment complexes, keeping her eyes peeled. As she reached the fourth block she slowed, hovering above an alley. Below were three guys, all with red eyes. They had cornered a young black woman, who had her pepper spray out in one shaking hand. Katie could hear the desperation in her voice. “Stand back. I have pepper spray. I’ll use it. I will.”
The three guys looked at each other and laughed. She released the spray into their eyes, and they all coughed wildly. Victorious, the woman tried to make a run for it. One of the demons grabbed her, faking a hacking cough. They all began to laugh. The pepper spray had had no effect on them. He twisted her arm until she dropped the canister, the clang of it hitting the ground echoing down the alley. He snarled, “We just want to play.”
Katie growled and descended into the alley. She tucked her wings as she landed behind the demons. The girl looked up and gasped at Katie’s bright blue eyes. The guys sniffed the air and slowly turned. The lead demon dropped the girl’s arm. Katie looked at the woman and pointed down the alley. “Go. Keep going until you get home.”
She grabbed her things and went, yelling her thank-yous as she ran down the alley. Katie turned back to the three guys and snarled. The one in the middle, the only one without fear surging through him, chuckled. “What the fuck are you supposed to be, Whore Girl?”
Katie smiled and rammed her hand into the guy’s chest, grabbing his demon. “Actually, it’s ‘Slut Girl.’”
She yanked the hissing demon out of the man and tossed it into the air. The other two watched, horrified, as it wheezed and snarled before bursting and disappearing. They turned to make a quick getaway but Katie lunged for them, grabbing them both by the backs of their necks. “Where do you think you’re going? I promise I’ll be gentle.”
She released their necks and shoved her claws through their backs, pulling out their demons. The two guys fell unconscious on top of their friend as Katie held up the snarling beasts, which exploded and were gone. She dusted her hands off and nodded. “That should do it. You boys stay out of trouble, now.”
Pandora laughed. That was fucking brilliant. I loved it. Let’s find another mess.
Katie s
miled and took off straight out of the alley. An old newspaper flapped around the alley’s walls in her wake. They flew over the city again, this time heading for the Bronx. As they passed over Times Square, Pandora sniffed again. I smell it. Two blocks down on the right. A jewelry store. This is a good one.
You gonna get the number of blocks right this time?
Pandora scoffed. I’m a demon, not a bloodhound. Just go.
Katie laughed as she soared ahead, stopping two blocks down across the street from a jewelry store. She hovered in the air and watched the action through a window.
The man’s face was covered with a black ski mask. He had a sack in one hand and a gun in the other. “Just put the money in the bag, and there won’t be no problems.”
The lady behind the counter shook with fear as she opened the register. She filled the sack with money, then emptied the glass cases of jewelry. She shoved the sack back at him. Slowly, Katie descended in front of the window. The woman’s eyes grew wide, but the robber didn’t notice.
He chuckled and took a bow, still pointing his gun at the woman. “It’s been a pleasure, sugar tits.”
He reached to grab the door handle, but Katie was already holding it open. Her cape flapped in the wind behind her as she grabbed the sack of goodies from him. “Give me that, sugar tits.”
The thief yelped and pulled the trigger, shooting Katie in the arm. She gritted her teeth as she looked down at the bullet hole. The robber watched in horror as her finger grew a claw and she dug the bullet out. She held it in front of her face and turned it from side to side so she could examine it. “Just a regular old bullet.”
She threw the bullet down and grabbed the guy by the neck. He’s not Damned.
Pandora giggled. Nope, just a regular old dumb-ass robber.
Katie found it odd. How did you sense that? Usually, only I can sense that kind of thing.
Pandora cleared her throat. Might be leftover from my days as an angel. Who knows?
Katie shrugged and lifted the guy into the air, then slammed his face on the ground. “You don’t call women ‘sugar tits’ unless they ask you to, asswipe.” She pulled out a pair of handcuffs she’d borrowed from the station and cuffed the guy, then growled in his ear, “And you don’t shoot before figuring out just what the fuck you’re dealing with, dickwad.”
Katie stood up and beamed at the woman behind the counter. “Call the cops. Tell em’ Katie did it, and he shot first.”
The woman behind the counter nodded and quickly picked up the phone. Before she could dial the number, Katie was gone.
She flew over the city, proud of her good deeds. Kicking ass…
Pandora chimed in, And not giving a fuck about the names.
Katie put her arms out in front of her like Superman. Damn fucking straight. Now, I know there are some leftover donuts at the apartment. Let’s go chow— Wait, do you hear that?
Pandora listened intently and instantly became enraged. Sure as hell fucking do. Oh, fuck yeah, this is going to be a good one.
Katie turned right and went low, listening as the muffled screaming and whimpering grew louder in her ears. She dropped to the ground near a window looking into the basement of a brownstone. Katie crept closer and wiped dirt off the glass. Peering through the grime, she could see a leaky old basement. There were some ten-gallon buckets, mold on the walls, and an old workbench with what looked like shiny new tools laying on it.
Katie frowned. She knew she’d heard a voice coming from inside.
She looked into the corner, where a slowly swinging light flickered on and off. She put her hand over her mouth to muffle her gasp. Against the wall were a half dozen metal dog cages. Inside each of the cages crouched a barely clothed, battered, and broken woman. A figure walked from the corner. He was a tall, muscular man in a dirty wife-beater and a pair of brown work pants. He snapped his leather belt on the floor and screamed at the girls, “I told you not to make a sound, bitches. I told you when it was time for you to go get fucked and make me some money, I would take you out of there. Now, since you can’t follow directions, it’s punishment time.”
Katie growled. Oh hell, no. He will not.
She grabbed her phone and sent Detective Shultz a text with the address.
Bring all the boys. This one’s going to be good.
Katie summoned her angel powers, and golden armor encased her body. She grabbed the bars on the window and planted her feet, groaning as she pulled. She snarled and the bars came free, ripping the entire window out and a ton of brick along with it. She tossed the window into the street and jumped into the hole she had just made.
The guy backed against the wall. “What the fuck?”
Katie glanced at the cages, then narrowed her eyes at the man. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. That’s no way to treat a lady. I think it’s time you got fucked.”
She ran forward and slammed her fist into the side of his face. He winced and fell back into the wall, but bounced back red-faced and furious. He cracked his belt at her. “Come on, bitch. You’ll make a good addition to my collection.”
Katie smiled without humor. She snatched his belt, and before he realized what had happened, she spun him around and jumped on his back. She wrapped the belt around his neck and whispered into his ear, “I would kill you right here, but I think you need a little quality time with Bubba in Cell Block Five.”
Pandora snorted. Don’t drop the soap. Or do. Whatever floats your boat.
The guy growled and grabbed Katie’s arms, flinging her over his head into the worktable. She grunted and rolled off the table to find him charging toward her with a knife in his hand. She grabbed a pair of pliers, waiting until he got close enough. As soon as he did, she caught his knife with one hand and jammed the pliers at his crotch with the other. The man yelped as the pliers’ jaws clamped down on his nuts. His eyes went wide and he wheezed, falling to his knees. “Silly sex offender, your balls are too gross for me to touch with my bare hands. Now, come on. I think you know where you belong.”
Katie led him to the cages by his balls. She opened the empty one on the end, threw him inside, and locked it, then smashed the locks off the other cages. “You’re safe now. That dog is going where he belongs.”
The girls came tumbling out, but they stayed in a tight group. They hugged each other until the cops arrived.
She flew out through the hole she’d created, knocking Schultz’s hat off as she flew by. He laughed and waved at her as she rose. It was a short flight back to her condo. When she arrived, she landed in front and walked past the doorman. He tipped his hat to her. “Nice cape.”
Katie curtsied. “Why, thank you.”
She took the elevator to her floor, feeling renewed and refreshed. Pandora had been right. She had needed to remember why she was fighting so hard. As she walked toward her door, she slowed down. Rose petals marked a path to her door. She looked up and down the hall, but no one was there. She walked inside slowly. A smile grew as she followed the petals to the bathroom, where there was soft music playing, candles lit, and a bottle of bubble bath on the lip of the tub.
There was also a note on the sink.
Katie picked it up.
Get comfortable. I just ran out to get us some fresh food. Won’t be too long.
Xoxo, Brock
Pandora whistled. Oooo, girl, you got him on a chain. He’s over here breaking and entering just to get some of that poon. Yep, perfect way to end a really good night.
Katie’s cheeks went red, and she picked up one of the long-stem roses and lifted it to her nose. Well, might as well go with the flow. That’s what I never say.
Pandora giggled. Hell, yeah. Now get you some of that bath and do some cleaning. We can have a real nice surprise for hunky monkey when he gets back.
Katie wrinkled her nose. Don’t ever call him that again.
Katie turned the music up a bit and stripped. She swished her hand under the running water until it was nice and hot, then stoppered the tub. She grabbed the bubbles
off the sink and opened the cap, taking a big whiff. Mmm, lavender and vanilla. He’s starting to catch on.
Pandora scoffed. If he was catching on, he would be here to get in the tub with you.
Katie shrugged and sat on the edge of the tub, waiting for it to fill. When it was about three-quarters full, she dipped her body into the steaming water. She looked down at her breasts floating in the soap. If I didn’t know you were in there, I would think they were fake.
Real as can be. These flotation devices can be a drowning hazard, though, so be careful.
Katie smiled and sank lower in the tub, enjoying the candlelight, the scents, and the relaxation. It had been a long time since she’d done anything like that, and she had to admit, she appreciated Brock for thinking of it. It was a surprise that he was there in the first place. I wonder where Angie is?
Pandora purred. Probably making herself scarce. I have to admit, this is like heaven.
Oh, really?
Pandora groaned. Stop reading into everything. I can’t even explain heaven to you. Not like I’ll ever see it again, anyway. Can we just relax and not think about all that? We gotta get prepared for a hot night in that bed of yours. Boy has it coming.
Katie chuckled. Sure, I think I can manage that. When he gets back, though, we better be ready for him.
Katie grabbed her luffa and lathered herself, then grabbed the razor and went to town, making sure everything was perfectly trimmed and smooth. Pandora winced as she shaved her nether regions. Jesus, girl. You need to keep up with this shit. You got Chewbacca down there. We really don’t want that thing sounding off during sex.
Pandora made the Chewbacca sound, and Katie choked, laughing hard. I’ve been a little busy, okay? Besides, this way it’ll be nice and smooth.
Pandora sighed. Remember the days when we could order beautiful bras and lounge around?
