“Well, I’m happy to have been brought into the effort!” Svea says, swinging her saucer eyes my way, “Thanks for calling me in, Ms. Brody.”
“Leah, please,” I tell her, noting the way her demeanor cools when she speaks to me, as opposed to Jay. I’m finding almost impossible not to think of the old stereotype about some girls being even more attracted to men when they’re engaged or married. I feel like a terrible feminist for buying into that myth, even for a second. Maybe being newly engaged is just screwing with my head a bit.
“You two had a pretty busy week of your own,” Elsie says, folding her hands as she regards my ring across the table, “I suppose congratulations are in order.”
“Thanks,” I reply, “We’re—”
“We’re so thrilled,” Jay cuts me off, grabbing my hand in his, “It all came about pretty quickly, but hey—love waits for no one, right?”
I glance up at Elsie and Svea, feeling uncomfortable with this public display of affection. This is a business meeting, after all. And I’m not the only one who seems to disapprove. Elsie stares across the table at me with something close to disappointment.
“You were already doing so well at King Enterprises, Leah,” she says with a bite, “Why marry into the company, too? Just wanted to seal the deal?”
I let out a game chuckle despite how badly her barb stings, plucking my hand promptly out of Jamison’s grasp.
“I know. What a cliché, right?” I offer with a roll of my eyes, waiting for Elsie’s expression to thaw.
“Well. To each her own,” she shrugs, turning her attention to the menu.
But I know full well what she’s really saying with her stoic silence: I thought you were better than this.
I stare at my own menu, not even able to read the words on the page as my mind churns away. It never even occurred to me that this would be an issue—other women thinking less of me for this seemingly strategic partnership. I know what it must look like to the rest of the world—like I sold myself into marriage for a slice of King Enterprises. Like I chose to advance my career by offering up my body. No one knows that Loudon had already planned on handing the company over Jay and I as a team. To the uninformed eye, my engagement to him must look horribly opportunistic.
The second Franco appears at the table again, I ask for a glass of wine. I’m going to need something to steel my nerve.
“So,” Elsie says, turning her attention back to Jamison, “I’d love to hear more about what King Enterprises is thinking for the film adaption. Will you fill me in?”
“I’d love to,” Jay replies, smiling winningly across the table at Elsie at Svea.
I watch, dumbfounded, as Jamison launches into a detailed description of our vision for Huntress of Tomorrow. Without even a glance my way to check in, he bulldozes through our pitch, point by point. Elsie and Svea both stare back at him, rapt and engaged. Though I’m sitting not two feet away from Jamison, he seems like a stranger to me as he goes on talking in his salesman-like manner. For the first time, I watch Jay the marketer do his thing.
It’s incredibly unsettling, seeing how easily he moves between personas. To the naked eye, this smooth, upstanding version of Jay looks totally authentic. I’m the only one here who knows that this isn’t what he’s like at home. In bed. When no one else is around. I’m the only one who’s seen him furious, devastated, vulnerable. But then, who’s to say that this isn’t the authentic Jay, and the face he’s been showing me in private is the fraudulent one?
“Leah… Leah?” I hear him say, as if from a far distance.
“Hmm?” I murmur, snapping out of my trance.
“You still with us?” he laughs, placing a hand on my knee.
“Looks like someone’s daydreaming about wedding planning on the job,” Elsie observes sardonically, tucking into her lunch as it arrives at the table.
“Ha. Right,” I say blankly, staring down at my salad as my appetite disappears, “I think you’ve been doing a great job laying out our vision for the project, Jay. If… If you all would just excuse me for one moment?”
Ignoring the baffled expressions of Elsie and Svea, I spring to my feet and hurry back toward the restrooms. My ears are pounding as the blood rushes to my head, bringing a hot flush to my face. I ignore the curious looks of wait staff and other diners as I hurtle through the dining room, barely able to keep my balance. Finally, I make it to the single-stall bathroom and wrench open the door, barricading myself inside.
Numb, I lean back against the door, staring at my own reflection in the mirror. I look pale and drawn, not at all the confident businesswoman I need to be. But that follows, doesn’t it? My confidence has just been shaken to its very core. Seeing myself through Elsie Walker and Svea Andersson’s eyes was the wakeup call of century. Ever since I agreed to entertain Jamison’s proposal, I’ve been walking around in a love-struck haze, not able to see clearly for a second. I let my feelings for Jay cloud my judgement, utterly blind me to what was really happening right in front of me.
And what happened here is, Jay has made me into a goddamn fool.
A knock at the door rings out behind me.
“Leah?” I hear Jamison’s voice say, “Leah, let me in.”
Acidic anger rises in my gut as I whip around and wrench open the door, coming face-to-face with the target of my ire. Jamison stares down at me in annoyed confusion, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
“What the hell is going on with you?” he demands, his voice a frustrated whisper, “First you zone out of our meeting, then you just disappear altogether?”
“You seem to be handling it just fine on your own,” I hiss back, “But then again, that was your plan all along, wasn’t it?”
“What are you talking about?” he shoots back.
“You were supposed to let me take the lead back there,” I go on, “That’s what we agreed. But you were never going to let me get a word in, were you? You turned me into your fucking prop. The smiling, happy fiancée. You played me, Jamison King.”
His eyes flash furiously in the dimly lit bathroom, his entire frame seems to expand in his moment of ire.
“You sound like a lunatic,” he spits, “I had to take over back there. You were practically comatose. And as far as ‘playing you’ goes… Fuck me. I don’t even know how to respond to that level of crazy.”
“Was anything that happened between us this past week true?” I demand, “Or were you just manipulating me the entire time?”
“You need to slow down before you say something you’re going to regret,” Jamison warns me, trying to place his hands on my shoulders.
“This has all just been your way of taking me out of the competition,” I tell him, batting his hands away, “You knew I wouldn’t back down from the presidency, so you just tried to fucking domesticate me instead. Fill my head with flowers, and diamonds, and whateverthefuck else so you could edge me out of my own project while I was distracted.”
Jay takes a step back from me, staring down at me as though I just spat on his parents’ graves. His hands ball into angry fists at his sides as he goes on.
“Where is this coming from?” he asks me, “Half an hour ago, we were a team. We were unstoppable. What’s gotten into you?”
“Seeing you in your element is what’s gotten into me,” I scoff, “The way you turned on the charm for Elsie and Svea? Is that what I can look forward to, being your wife? A lifetime of knowing that you’re out there, flirting with other women?”
“Jesus Christ, Leah!” Jamison shouts, slamming his fist against the wall, “The entire point of this meeting was to win Elsie and Svea over! And that is exactly what I’m doing.”
“I know,” I say, my voice hollow, “You’re very talented at winning women over, Jay. Even me. But I’m seeing clearly now, and I’m not liking the look of what’s in front of me.”
“Well that makes two of us,” he growls, staring at me with disdain.
A heavy silence unfurls betw
een us as we take each other in. Though we’ve spent most of our lives bantering and arguing, we’ve never had a proper fight before. Even when we’ve disagreed, I’ve never felt let down, betrayed, or hurt by Jay. That is, not until this very moment.
“We need to get back out there,” I tell Jay, brushing an angry tear from my cheek.
“No shit,” he snarls, shoving a hand through his blonde hair.
“Do me a favor and keep your hands to yourself,” I snap, “And try letting one of us silly little women get a word in edgewise, if you can stomach it.”
“If you can manage to put a full sentence together, be my fucking guest,” Jay says cruelly, standing aside as I march toward the door.
“Wait a minute before coming back to the table,” I command him, wrenching the door open, “I don’t want to make a scene, here.”
“No?” he laughs meanly, “You could have fooled me.”
White hot anger courses through me as I make my way back to the table to rejoin Elsie and Svea. The heat of my outrage burns away any doubt or self-consciousness that crept in during the meeting so far. What the fuck do I care what assumptions people might make about me? I know that I’m not some gold-digger using my body to get ahead in my work. And I don’t need to be Elsie Walker’s best friend, anyway. I’m here to do a job. A job I happen to be fantastic at. And fuck if I’m going to let some drama with Jamison stop me from doing it.
“Sorry about that,” I say firmly, sitting back down at the booth with Elsie and Svea.
“No worries,” Svea smiles politely back at me, “Your nerves must be fried with all of this engagement business.”
“Honestly, I’ve barely had any time to think about it,” I laugh, “Right now, all of my attention is reserved for Huntress of Tomorrow.”
“That’s good to hear…” Elsie says, eyeing me across the table, “I have to admit, I was getting worried this week, reading about all your personal drama. I’ve enjoyed working with you so far. I wouldn’t want this project to get less than your full attention.”
“Trust me, that won’t be an issue,” I assure her. “This became my passion project before Jamison King came back into my life, and it still is now.”
“A woman with passion,” Svea nods admiringly, “I know I can respect that.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as Jamison saunters up to the bar and slugs back a heavy pour of scotch. His easy, approachable demeanor has hardened in the wake of our fight. His every muscle looks coiled, tense. It looks, above all, like he’s out for blood. I feel my spine straighten as he saunters back to the table once again, sitting down heavily beside me.
“So. Where were we?” he says, planting his elbows on the table.
“Just wrapping up, I believe,” I tell him, forcing my voice to remain even, “But Elsie, if you have some extra time, I’d love to bring you back to my office and show you some design ideas I’ve been cooking up.”
“Sure,” Elsie agrees, “I’d love to see what you’re thinking.”
Jamison’s eyes dart my way, sizing up this latest play. I’ve purposefully left him out of the loop on this second leg of the meeting, and he’s not happy about it at all.
“Well then,” he says, smiling like a shark who’s just smelled blood in the water, “If you two are headed back to the office, I guess Svea and I can just kick it here.”
“Oh, I’m sure Svea has to get back to set,” I cut in, shooting him a dark look.
“Not at all!” the Swedish beauty replies, “I took the entire afternoon off for this meeting, so I’m free as a bird.”
“Great,” Jamison says to her, “Why won’t you stay here with me and have another drink? I’d love to keep talking about the character of Gemma Moore.”
“That sounds lovely,” Svea says, clapping her hands together, “You don’t mind if I borrow your man for a bit, do you Leah?”
“Not in the least. He’s all yours,” I reply, smiling tightly.
“Why don’t we head on over to the bar?” Jamison suggests, standing and offering Svea his hand. “It’s cozier over there.”
The actress places her willowy hand in Jamison’s, and together they make their way across the dining room. Jay sets a hand on her elbow, putting on quite the show for my benefit. He’s dangling Svea in front of me, trying to hurt me by flirting with her outright. And as much as I hate to admit it, it’s working.
“Shall we?” Elsie says, as the bill arrives at the table.
“Absolutely,” I tell her, standing as I instruct the waiter to put the bill on King Enterprises’ tab.
I walk out of DeLeonardo’s with the Huntress of Tomorrow author, refusing to look over at where Jamison and Svea sit together at the bar. I was insulted and angry with the way he bulldozed over me in the meeting, but in flirting with another woman just to make me jealous, Jay has crossed the line. I refuse to be treated with such disrespect. I don’t deserve that, and neither does she. No woman does.
As I step out into the afternoon sunlight, mind clouded with wine and heartache, I know that something has broken between me and Jay. And for the first time since we found ourselves thrust back into each other’s lives, I’m not sure if we’ll be able to fix it.
***
When I arrive back at the brownstone a little after 4PM, I find it empty save for Gigi. Jamison is still out there with Svea, doing god knows what by now. I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a deep glass of Malbec, looking around the house with a grim sense of clarity. I feel like the dream of having an actual relationship with Jamison has been dispersed, burned out of my mind in the heat of our fight. After today, we’re just two people carrying out a business agreement once again. And if that’s the case, there’s no need for me to stay here playing house any longer.
By the time Jamison finally arrives home four hours later, I’ve packed up most of my belongings and stacked my bags by the front door. I sit at the kitchen table with the nearly-empty bottle of wine beside me. Gigi sits patiently in her carrier at my feet, ready to hit the road. I hear Jamison’s heavy footfalls pause in the foyer as he spots my luggage, then continues on to find me waiting in the kitchen.
“Have a nice time with Svea?” I ask him politely, draining the rest of my wine.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he growls, not answering my question. “Why is all your shit by the door?”
“Well,” I reply, rising to my feet, “It’s simple, really. I let you show me what it would be like, being married to you for the long run. I’ve seen everything I need to see. And now I’m getting the hell out.”
“You can’t go,” he says adamantly, standing firmly in my way.
I stare up at him, finally feeling just how drunk I’ve managed to get in his absence.
“No, Jay…” I whisper, blinking back my sudden tears, “What I can’t do is stay.”
I pick up Gigi’s carrier and step around Jamison, hoping to make it out the door before I start weeping.
“Leah, wait,” Jay says, his own voice hoarse with drink, “We just had a fight. It happens. That’s nothing to leave over.”
“That wasn’t just a fight, Jay,” I tell him, turning back to face him, “That was you intentionally hurting me. That was you breaking my trust. And that is something I can’t abide.”
“I don’t believe this,” he says, shaking his head, “This isn’t really what you want.”
“No,” I say sadly, “What I wanted was to believe that you really cared about me. That this relationship was more to you than just a business opportunity.”
“Goddammit Leah, you know that it is!” he shouts, his hands balling into fists.
“I really thought so,” I tell him, “For a minute there, you really had me thinking that you wanted me for who I am, for what we share. But what you’ve really wanted all along is to get ahead of me in line for the presidency. This job, this fucking status, will always be more important to you than I am.”
“You can’t really believe that,” he says, looking at m
e in furious bafflement, “You don’t really believe that. You want to know what’s really going on here?”
“By all means,” I laugh, setting down Gigi’s carrier as Jay advances on me, “Go ahead and explain to me what I’m feeling.”
“You’re just looking for a reason to back out of this thing because you’re scared,” he says, towering over me in the narrow hallway, “You’ve never felt anything like this connection we have, and you’re looking for any excuse to run away from it.”
“That’s crazy,” I tell him, crossing my arms.
“No shit it’s crazy,” he says, backing me up against the wall of the corridor and planting his hands above my shoulders, “Things got too intense for you, and now you’d rather throw it all away than risk opening yourself up to someone. To me.”
“I did open up to you,” I tell him, my voice ragged with held-back tears, “Since we were kids, I’ve wanted you to really know me. But the second we finally let each other in, you go and use that closeness to hurt me. How can I ever trust you enough to let you in again?”
“Because you’re not the only one who’s opened up, here,” he says, bringing his face close to mine, “I’ve trusted you too, Leah. More than I’ve ever trusted anybody. You mean more to me than some fucking job. Hell, you mean more to me than the whole goddamn company.”
“I just…I don’t think I have any reason to believe that anymore,” I tell him sadly, my head hanging as the weight of the world settles back on my shoulders.
“So…what?” he says, letting his arms fall back to his sides, “You’re just gonna leave? Is that it?”
“I can’t be here right now, Jay,” I tell him, lifting my face to his, “I need to be somewhere I can think clearly. God knows, I have a lot to consider.”
He doesn’t stop me this time as I pick up Gigi’s carrier and an overnight bag from the pile of luggage by the door.
“What the hell do you want me to do, Leah?” Jay asks me as I open the front door of the brownstone, “Just tell me how I can make this right.”
Cross Check (Marriage Contract #1) Page 13
