by Rowe, Ruby
Hell, I want a tattoo. That would surely piss her off, and if I have to be married to her the rest of my life, I want her to look at it for that long. She’ll bitch about it, but it’ll be worth it.
Turning back to me, Sasha rests her hands on her hips.
“I’m going to a meeting tomorrow morning, but otherwise, I don’t have anything planned.”
“Cool, then spend time with me.”
“Why?”
“How many times do we need to go over this? I want to hang out with you because we’re friends, and that’s what friends do. You said I could treat you like one of the guys.”
Cracking a smile, she rolls her eyes.
“I did say that. What did you have in mind?”
“I’m going to bake the pizza Theresa prepared before she left, and then we’re watching that zombie show you like. Tomorrow, after your meeting, I want to get a tattoo. You can get another one if you’d like. I’ll pay for it.”
“You want a tattoo?”
“Yes, and why do your wide eyes say you’re surprised?”
“I guess I didn’t expect a suit-wearing attorney to want permanent ink on his body.”
“Well, I do, Ladybug.” Her skin flushes, and she pulls her shirt down farther. “Too late, chick. I already had a peek.” I wink at her. “Can you get the oven preheated while I change clothes?”
“Sure, and do you always wink at your guy friends?” She smirks, and now I’m blushing like a damn girl.
“No, especially not with my friends who have a vagina allergy. That could give them the wrong impression.” Sasha laughs, and it’s a pretty sight. Damn, how I love our banter.
“All right, I’ll change and meet you in the living room.”
Sasha
“What did you think?” I ask after we watch the first episode of The Walking Dead.
“I think you’re one twisted chick.”
Like I do so often with Greyson, I giggle.
“You’re safe here if we have a zombie outbreak,” I reply. “They won’t be able to put in the passcode to get up to your fortress, and you have enough food stockpiled to last months.”
“You’ve put too much thought into this. I’m wondering if I should limit your TV-viewing privileges.”
“Oh, really?” He eyes the Pixy Stix I’m holding to my lips. I tilt my head back and let the sugary dust fall inside my mouth.
“I don’t think we can live off sugar, and it’s overrunning my pantry.”
“Oh, sorry about that. Theresa pried the list of foods I like out of me and bought them. She’s so sweet.”
“Yeah, she is, and I see she’s spoiling you, too.”
“I didn’t get this kind of stuff as a kid, so I’m making up for lost time, but I’m super grateful.”
“You didn’t have much growing up, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Where are your parents?”
“I guess in South Carolina. I haven’t spoken to them in years, so I wouldn’t know. Wanna watch another episode?”
“Is that all I’m getting out of you?”
“Yep, but feel special; it’s more than I’ve told anyone else.” He squeezes my knee, and like when he held my hand on my bed days ago, I don’t pull away from him. He doesn’t move his hand, either.
It sits there as the next episode begins, and I consider teasing him, asking if he’s ever rested his hand on one of his other buddy’s knees, but then he might remove it.
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I want a man to touch me while I’m sober. Greyson makes me feel alive, instead of numb, and I think I’m ready for more of that feeling.
Tired, I rest my head on his shoulder and yawn. I grow sleepier quickly, so I settle against his warm body, trusting that it’s safe to be near him.
Out of nowhere, he presses his lips to my head. I stiffen, unsure of how to respond. He leans over, closer to my face and whispers, “Please don’t move. If only for this weekend, pretend with me that things aren’t going to change. I’m enjoying every second with you, and I don’t want it to end.”
“You’re being selfish.”
“I know, so when the zombies come, you can feed me to them.”
I shouldn’t encourage him, but I giggle. I also leave my head where it is and close my eyes. I can’t face him. I can’t see him look at me like I’m more than a rebellious act against his future bride. This is messed up, but I breathe, “OK.”
Sighing with relief, he kisses my head again.
“Thank you.” His body relaxes, and I scoot closer, pulling my legs up to tuck beside me on the couch. For now, I’ll be selfish, too, and pretend this could last forever.
Ellis
Wiping the sweat off my neck with a towel, I take a drink from my water bottle. Dean’s sitting on the floor, putting on his socks and tennis shoes after our jiujitsu training.
“I have some news,” I say.
“What’s that?”
“Do you remember when we were at dinner and I told you Camilla’s son, Liam, was my nephew?”
He pauses with a sock over his toes.
“Yes.”
“He’s actually my kid, and he’s probably going to appear downstairs, so I wanted to give you a heads-up.”
“A heads-up?”
“OK, I wanted to tell you. I know it’s shocking. It was for me, too, and it’s a longer story than the last one I told you. He’s definitely mine, though, and I’m thrilled about it.”
“All right. I don’t need to know how you and your brother happened to sleep with the same woman around the same time, but as long as your good with it, I’m happy for you.”
I glare at him. “It wasn’t like that. Tony drugged Camilla and me, so we didn’t know we’d slept together. It’s complicated, and it’s also why this training is so important to me.
“My brother was involved in dangerous shit and had dangerous people by his side. I have to be physically prepared to take someone down if necessary.”
Standing, he grabs his duffle bag. “I think you’re covered there, and I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I get it, but Camilla is nothing like you’re thinking. She’s an incredible woman and raised my son on her own. She wasn’t looking for a payout.”
“I trust you. Let me meet him.”
I motion toward the door. “Let’s go. I’m sure he’ll hear us and come running.” We stroll down the stairs, and as I expected, I hear Liam’s footsteps as he trots down the hallway. Spotting Dean, he comes to an abrupt stop.
Suddenly bashful, he sticks his finger in his mouth, and I have a thought. Nothing would build his confidence up more than some martial arts training, but I imagine Camilla wouldn’t go for it at this age.
“Liam, I want you to meet my friend Dean.”
“Hi,” he says as he creeps closer.
“Hi, Liam. You should come upstairs and watch us work out next time.”
“I wanna do that,” he replies with a smile, and I’m sure he doesn’t have a clue what Dean’s talking about, but if it involves me, he’s usually all for it. Camilla hurries into the hall.
“Hi, Dean. Good to see you again.” She looks at me. “Do you mind watching Liam? I need to get ready to meet the volunteers for coffee.”
“Sure, I need to cool down before I shower, anyway. Maybe I can show Liam some moves.”
Camilla’s forehead scrunches. “Oh, be careful with him.”
“I’m not going to let anything happen to him. I tumbled down a flight of stairs for the kid.” Liam’s eyes widen as he looks at Dean and points toward the staircase.
“We fell really, really far, and Boss-Daddy caught me. We got boo-boos even.” He strains his head and twists his arm to look at his own elbow.
Chuckling, Dean slaps me on the back. “I didn’t think you could get any richer, but it appears you have.”
My eyes dart to Camilla. “They’re both pretty amazing.”
Smiling at me, s
he then gives Dean a wave.
“I have to run. Bye, Dean.” She takes off up the stairs, and I show my friend to the door. Liam skips along, and I never thought I’d say it, but I like having a shadow at every turn.
Liam and I head to the living room, and as we sit on the sofa, he jabbers about the cartoon that’s playing on the television. He looks like me, but he acts like Camilla.
His eyes exude excitement with the same intensity, and he has many of her mannerisms, like the way he bites his lip or how he scrunches his nose when he doesn’t like something.
“I do hope you’re going to marry her soon.”
My father’s words resonate with me, and I ponder the future. There’s no doubt I want Camilla in my life forever, but we haven’t been together long. Would she say yes to a proposal this soon?
Patting my arm, Liam frowns. “Daddy, are you wistening to me?”
“Uh, yes, but let’s go upstairs. I need a shower. I’ll use the one in your bathroom so you can play with your toys in your room while I’m in there.”
He giggles. “Are you gonna use my coconut shampoo?”
“So that’s what turned you into a nut.” I muss up his hair, and overexaggerating his laugh, he points at me.
“I’m not a nut. You’re the nut.”
“No, you’re the nutty one, eating up all my peanut butter and getting nutty crumbs all over the floors.” Pulling him onto my lap, I tickle him, and he cackles and squirms.
I glance up, and Camilla is standing in the doorway with her hand over her heart. Her eyes are watery, too. Has she always been this emotional?
Since finding out Liam’s mine, she cries often, but the more I watch her now, I realize this is not her upset look. Those are happy tears. Why did I have any doubt? She’ll marry me if I ask; I’m sure of it.
Camilla
Liam and Ellis sharing a fun, loving moment is a magnificent sight to see. To witness them remove their protective shields is a gift I won’t take for granted.
“Hop up, Liam,” Ellis says. “Let me talk to your mother for a minute before she leaves.” He strolls over, and I smell his sweat and sense his frisky mood in seconds. Clenching my waist, he nuzzles his nose in the crook of my neck.
“Don’t go. Stay here with us.”
“Ellis, this is important to me.”
He leans back. “Why? You only met them this week.”
“Exactly, and they were kind enough to invite me to their weekly coffee outing. They go every Saturday after the pantry closes.”
His eyes bulge. “You’re going every Saturday?”
“No, not every weekend, but I don’t want to decline their first invite. Most of the volunteers have been there for years, so I can learn from them, which will help me in my career.”
“Camilla, you don’t need a job anymore.”
“This isn’t about me having a job for money. It’s about me having a fulfilling career where I give back to the community.”
“I’ll make a considerable donation and pay for other people to work there if it means you can be home with your family.”
I tilt my head to the side. “I love that you want me here with you, but I need this.” Remembering the promise I made to him, I look at my feet.
“I told you I was submitting to you completely, and agreeing to be your submissive meant handing over my trust to you. I believe you respect me and don’t want me locked in a castle like in Beauty and the Beast.”
“I don’t want that.” Taking his hands in mine, I tilt my eyes up at him.
“If you tell me again not to go, I’ll believe you have an important reason in doing so, and I won’t leave.”
Ellis’s head falls back. “Fuck,” he utters under his breath. “If doing this makes you happy, then I want you to go. I only hope you won’t leave us alone too often.”
Lowering his head, he looks at me like a wounded child. I cup his cheek. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“I wonder if my mother thought the same when she first became passionate about helping others.”
“I’m not going to lose sight of what’s most important.” Tiptoeing, I kiss his cheek. “I promise, and I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Liam, run over here, and give Momma a kiss. I’ll be back before you know it, and you behave for Daddy.”
“Yes, Mother. Bye, Mother.”
Laughing, Ellis winks at me.
“Maybe you two don’t need more time alone. He’ll only discover new ways to tease me,” I say.
“I don’t like that Mitch is off today, but the younger guard, Todd, is going to ride with you. I told him to wait in the car while you’re in the coffee shop.”
“OK, and thank you for supporting me.”
“I might be working the wrong angle here. Maybe I should punish you for behaving since you do way more of that. I’d have endless opportunities.”
“You get to make the rules, Sir.”
Yanking me to him, he growls in my ear.
“And don’t forget it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Greyson
Sasha’s been quiet since we left the NA meeting. As I drive, I reach over and squeeze her knee. Rejecting my attention, she turns her legs inward toward the passenger door. Her arms are crossed, and she’s staring out the window.
“During one of your stays in rehab, did you ever confide in a counselor about your past?” I ask.
“I told you I wasn’t allowed.”
“Your odds of staying clean are slim if you don’t talk to someone about why you started using in the first place.”
She snaps her head in my direction.
“Why did you start using?” Her voice is bitter, and I know damn well what she’s doing.
Her wall is boarded back up as her mind searches for an excuse to get high. She’s looking for the fight, the fallout … anything that will allow her to feel sorry for herself enough to excuse it again.
I open and close my hand that’s gripping the steering wheel.
“My friends introduced me to drugs in college, but I take full responsibility for using them. I could’ve said no, but school was fucking hard, and the drugs got me through it.
“I was able to stay up all night and study, and then I’d take something to make me crash when I finally had a moment to sleep.
“The other reason I used was because I felt trapped over my future. It’s one thing to feel shackled in the present. It’s another to see your life sentence. I was expected to join my family’s oil business and marry Whitney, and I wanted to do neither.”
Glancing from the road to Sasha, I look for a sign that she’s loosening up. Her arms have uncrossed, so I’m making progress.
“The drug use finally caught up with me, and I was going to lose my shot at law school if I didn’t get my act together. Ellis knew it, and he helped me get clean more than anyone.
“I eventually got the career I wanted, but as you’re aware, the bride’s a different story. Do you know why I can sit here and tell you this?”
“No, why?”
“Because in rehab, I talked shit out, regardless of how uncomfortable it was. It’s why I can share with you about personal, deep shit unlike most guys could.”
“The meetings already make me think too much. The last thing I want to do is talk about it.”
“Maybe once you talk about it, you’ll think about it less.”
“I want to use right now.”
“I know. I feel it a little bit, too, especially with the looming wedding. It’s sick but I even fantasized about us using together. Damn, I miss that high sometimes.”
Sasha surprises me when she bursts into laughter, slinging her head back against the seat.
“Please don’t try to be anyone’s sponsor–like ever. You’d totally suck at it.”
I grin at her. “Hey, I’m just being honest. I do other daring shit now to get that rush. Even closing a deal on a property can give me an endorphin dump. I’m banking o
n that rush when I get this tattoo. Are you going to get one, too?”
“No, I’m saving my money for a place to live.”
“I told you I’m paying.”
“I’m running up a large enough tab. Maybe next time.”
I snort. “There won’t be a next time.”
“Ha. You’ll see; one tattoo leads to another.”
“Do you have more than one?”
“Yep.”
“I want to see it.”
“You can’t. It’s in a private place.”
I grin at her again. “You at least have to tell me where and what it is.”
She succumbs to the crack I made in her boarded-up wall and smiles shyly.
“I’ll think about it.”
A call comes in, and I see it’s Ellis.
“Cuz, hi.”
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“You’re on speaker. Sasha and I just left a meeting. What’s up?”
“Liam and I are hanging out here alone at the house. You’re welcome to stop by.”
“Actually, my weekend is booked. Could we grab dinner Monday evening?” Silence fills the air … fills it … and from Ellis, I know what that means. Shit. “Any evening next week will work,” I add. “You can let me know later.”
“I’ll check Camilla’s schedule and get back with you. Sasha, hi.”
“Hi, Ellis.”
“I’m sure Camilla would like to have you over. We’re not leaving the house this evening or tomorrow, so you’re welcome anytime.”
He sure can be a dick when he wants to be.
“Uh, thank you, Ellis, but I have plans, too. Tell Cammy I’ll call her Monday. Oh, and thank you for the gift, but I’m giving eight hundred of the thousand back. It was too generous of you.”
“A thousand…?”
“We have to go, Ellis,” I say.
“Call me, Greyson.” I hang up since he’s pissed and will blurt out something he shouldn’t over the speaker phone.
“Wow, he spoke to me,” Sasha says, “and he invited me over, too.”
I rub the back of my neck. “Looks like you made the cut. Earning his trust is a hard one.”
