A Love Worth Searching For

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A Love Worth Searching For Page 4

by Kathleen Ball


  “Good evening, Miss Lewis,” Reverend Callen greeted.

  “Good evening, Reverend, Jill. This is the last stop before barren country. I hope you are taking this time to ready your wagon and your oxen.”

  The reverend’s face turned a slight shade of red. “The Lord will provide. Do you believe that to be so, Miss Lewis?”

  “I’m still alive, aren’t I? Or are you one of the people who think I should have killed myself?” She bit her lip to keep it from twitching into a smile. The reverend’s jaw had dropped and he quickly closed it.

  “Since you didn’t, I’m afraid your soul needs my help. You have lived with the worst of heathens, and now it’s time for you to come back into the fold. We should start with three hours of continuous prayer each evening and of course counseling from me.”

  “No need, I talk to God every day, and my soul is in no danger.”

  Jill’s hand covered her mouth, and her brows rose. She probably wasn’t used to people telling her brother no.

  “There you are!” Jed exclaimed as he hooked arms with Lily. “I’ve been looking for you. Smitty needs some help.” He turned her and started to escort her to the other wagon. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Nice to see you, Reverend. Have a good evening, Jill.”

  “Were they trying to save you from damnation?”

  Her heart dropped and she halted. “Do you think I need saving?”

  Jed laughed. “No, darlin’ I don’t. Let’s go see if Smitty needs help.”

  “I thought you said he wanted my help.”

  “I saw the good reverend and his sister badgering you and decided to save you myself.”

  They began to walk again, and her heart lightened. If nothing else, she had Jed and Smitty in her corner.

  Chapter Three

  The next morning Jed sat on his horse and yelled “Wagons ho!” He drank in the last sight of the Platte River and then turned Paint toward the next fifty miles of nothingness. He’d allow them to travel one more day before he demanded they lighten their wagons. They couldn’t afford for oxen to start dropping along the way. Sometimes it took dire situations before people actually listened.

  Things would get tense over the next week. Water would run out for those who didn’t ration, and people were already worked up because of Lily. How and why he couldn’t fathom. Couldn’t they see it as the miracle it was? The chances of finding her had been fast heading for zero. He’d thought Jill Callen would be good for her, but her brother interfered too much. He couldn’t subject Lily to the reverend anymore. He seemed to be a good man, but he had this mad gleam in his eyes when he gazed at Lily.

  Not one woman asked if she needed anything. What had happened to Christian charity? He shook his head. Lily was his responsibility, and he took it seriously. If he could he’d drive the wagon with her but they needed them as light as possible. There were a few water holes up ahead mostly alkali. Some you could drink the water and some you couldn’t. It was hard to distinguish. It was safer to conserve the water they had.

  The train stopped on its own, and he galloped to the front of the line. The Garber wagon was the lead wagon.

  “Why did you stop?” Jed asked, letting his annoyance show.

  “I ain’t going into that white stuff. It sure ain’t snow,” Garber said shaking his head.

  It’s alkaline. It won’t hurt you to drive through it.” Jed rode Paint into it to show Garber.

  “Still don’t look right to me. Are you sure this is the right way?” Garber squinted his eyes. “I’m all for going a different way.”

  “You’re welcome to go to the end of the line if you like,” Jed suggested growing impatient.

  Garber shook his head and urged his team forward.

  Jed had never had anyone just plain stop. Seven more miles, and they’d hit some good water, but it was usually crowded. He rode up and down the line, explaining they would skip the nooning in the hope of getting to the safest closest watering hole first. He’d seen wagon trains with guards circling the water and refusing to let others get to it until their people were done. Hopefully, they’d avoid all that.

  Dust flew in every direction as they moved forward. The acrid smell of alkaline irritated the throat, and most folks wore bandanas covering their noses and mouths. The heavier wagons began to fall back, while the lighter ones went right around them. There was never much sympathy on the sandy plains.

  It was late afternoon when they reached the water and he sighed in relief. It was deserted. He explained to the group to get what water they needed, make sure the oxen were well watered and to fill a tub and move away from the watering hole. They’d wash if they needed to but they needed to make room at the hole for any other travelers who might arrive.

  They circled about a mile away, which gave them plenty of time to rest the oxen and get ready for the night. Once again, he went from wagon to wagon, this time demanding that people leave behind heavy objects. He’d leave them behind if their oxen died because of their stupidity.

  After his rounds, he spotted Lily smiling at him. When she saw him watching she quickly took her smile away but he went to her anyway.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You. These people give you so much grief for non-essentials. They don’t know what it’s like to travel constantly with everything you own on your back. There are times I think the Sioux are far smarter than some of these white men.”

  Jed turned when he heard a gasp. Tara Scott stood with her eyes wide and her hand over her mouth. She shook her head and pointed at Lily. “Some say you are too far gone to be allowed around whites. I’ve heard rumors you were married and had a baby while you were with them. I really thought since you were Jed’s friend it wasn’t true. But now I know you have nothing but disdain for those of us in this wagon party. I’ll be sure to sleep with my gun under my pillow from now on!”

  Lily turned white, and her hand started to tremble. He gently took her hand in his. “Tara, I think that’s enough. The rumors aren’t true, and I have been searching for Lily for over two years. She is one of the finest young ladies I know.”

  “You either need a new set of ladies to know or glasses because she is certainly no lady! She’s a dirty rotten—”

  Jed took a step forward. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret. Now, we were having a private conversation when you rudely eavesdropped on us. Go back to your wagon.”

  From the fire in her eyes, he knew there was going to be trouble. He gave Lily’s hand a gentle squeeze before he let go.

  “You don’t need to protect me, Jed. I can see it will cost you your job. I’m not worth it.” She turned to walk away.

  Jed gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her toward him. “You are worth it. You are a glorious woman. Don’t let others take that away from you.”

  Her blue eyes flashed. “Don’t you want to know if it’s true? Aren’t you dying to know if I have a child?”

  His heart squeezed at the pain in her eyes. “Honey, your happiness is all that matters. You don’t have to tell me a thing, and I won’t question. I’m so grateful to have you here. If you wanted to drink your water out of a boot I’d still like you.”

  She smiled. “Water out of a boot? You’ve done that, haven’t you?”

  “Desperate times. It was a good idea at the time.” He gave her his best grin and was warmed when she smiled back.

  “Jed? I was never married, and I don’t have a child. I don’t care what the others think. I just want to be truthful with you.”

  Pulling her into his arms felt like a homecoming. It felt so right, and he wanted it to last, but he wanted to kiss her, and that he couldn’t do. She was in no state to know her own heart or mind. In her eyes, he was her rescuer, her hero. He smiled, he wasn’t a hero. He didn’t look for her for heroics. It was for a selfish reason; he cared about her. He slowly let go and took a step back. “I’ll rig up something so you can bathe in privacy. It’s going to be a long dry haul from here. Then I need to lig
hten some wagons.”

  “Thank you, Jed.” She turned and walked away.

  The next morning the sun was barely making itself known when Lily woke. She quickly dressed and took a deep breath. It’d been a noisy night. The other wagon train played music and the people were loud, but that wasn’t what bothered her the most. It was the small sounds she heard near her wagon. Someone lingered near until Jed went to bed. It had been a late night for him. She’d heard the protests and tears as he made people pull the heavy furniture out of their wagons.

  She might have felt that way before but not now. Those people would be surprised at how little they actually needed. She sat and listened. Birds were chirping but there was something else. She sensed that someone was watching the wagon again. She drew her knife and hopped out the back, landing in a squatted position. She quickly turned in a circle but she saw no one, except for Jed, who was still sleeping under the wagon. It was strange. There weren’t any trees on the barren earth they camped on. There was nowhere to hide.

  She cautiously walked to Smitty, who was already drinking coffee. He looked around too as though he also felt it. They both turned in the direction of the other wagon train at the same time and saw the men from that train start running toward them with guns in their hands. Smitty grabbed a metal triangle from the back of his wagon and made it ring with a metal baton. It clanged loud and clear. Meanwhile, she ran, got Jed up, and grabbed her rifle while yelling for everyone to wake up, they were about to be attacked.

  Men barreled over the back end of their wagons, guns in their hands and stared at each other. Thankfully, Jed and Smitty got them all pointed in the right direction. Women screamed and children cried. Lily tried to get most of them to hide under their wagons, but some thought she was trying to trick them. Finally, she slid under a wagon and got ready to shoot.

  The group from the other train was shocked by the preparedness of Jeb’s group so they backed off. Jed instructed everyone to hold their fire. It seemed as though most held their breath too. The other men turned and ran away. Lily rested her forehead on her arms and thanked God. She lay under the wagon for a bit, feeling drained. When she wiggled her way out, she was surprised to see fingers pointed in her direction.

  Wanda took a step forward. “She tried to get me killed. She told me to stay in my wagon. Everyone knows to get under the wagon in an attack!”

  It was as though someone had slapped her in the face. What was wrong with these people? Hadn’t she and Smitty saved their lives? Disgusted, she pushed her way through the crowd and went to Smitty’s wagon and crawled inside. She didn’t feel safe in her wagon.

  It wouldn’t matter how helpful or good she was, they’d never accept her. Up until now, she’d really thought it was just a matter of time. Once they got to know her, they’d like her. But they’d rather she had never been rescued. Several had been very vocal about their dislike, and she had thought it was only those people. But it was just about everyone. She saw it on their faces, and her heart shattered. With the Sioux, she’d had to be emotionless, hard and brave. She couldn’t let down her guard for one minute, and somehow here she’d forgotten to keep herself isolated and to protect her feelings. Why couldn’t she be herself? She shook her head as tears flowed. She didn’t even know who she was anymore. She did know one thing, no matter who they were, people still wouldn’t accept her.

  It seemed like forever before Jed climbed in after her. She was starting to feel guilty that she should be helping Smitty. She wasn’t as fearless as she’d thought. She just couldn’t face the crowd.

  He climbed in, took one look at her, and immediately took her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. It was the most comforting hug she could remember ever having. Wrapping both arms around him, she held on, and finally she wept.

  She wept for her lost childhood, the loss of her mother and for being captured. She cried that deep down she knew she was no longer good enough for Jed or any other man. Finally, she wept for all her trials and tribulations that only she knew about. The fear and the terror she’d faced would be forever seared in her soul.

  It was as though she’d been waiting for over two years to be held and made to feel safe. He was such a good man he deserved an untainted wife. He’d have a family of his own while she… Her shoulders sagged. It was too much to think about. She was a survivor, she’d get through. Perhaps she’d move to the Great Pacific Northwest. She’d heard it was sparsely populated. It would be a good place to start over.

  “Have you ever heard of the Pacific Northwest?” She felt him nod.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know. I heard a person can travel for days without seeing another person. It appeals to me. Is it far from Oregon?”

  “It’s starts in the Washington territory and goes on up the coast of Canada.”

  “Washington is not in the West and it is not on the Pacific Coast. I’m not stupid you know.”

  Jed gave her a gentle squeeze. “I know you’re not stupid. Washington Territory is not a part of Washington where the president lives. In fact, you’re right about it being unpopulated in many parts of it. I heard the trees are so tall you have to lay on your back to see the tops. There are Indians up there too. If you’re worried about where you’ll go, you are welcome to make your home on my family’s ranch.”

  Swallowing hard she nodded. He had enough to worry about getting them all to Oregon without having to worry about her. She’d stand like a warrior from now on and fight her own battles. “I need to help Smitty.”

  He slowly let her go and then he cupped her cheeks in the palms of his hands. “You will be just fine.” He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, and before she could even respond, he was gone. He was a good man.

  With a lump in her throat, she climbed out of the wagon and dove right into helping Smitty. He liked to make a couple batches of biscuits each morning and hand them out to the kids during the day. He said that when supplies dwindled the kids suffered the most. His heart was good and pure.

  They worked in comfortable silence for a while. Then Smitty handed her a cup of coffee, poured one for himself, and gestured for her to sit down. “We never did have our morning quiet time. You sure were quick on your feet, and you saved many lives.”

  Her face heated. “You warned the folks.”

  He nodded. “I did clang the triangle.” He laughed. “Seriously though, I had a feeling but it wasn’t strong enough, and I knew Indians didn’t like this part of the country. Your instincts tipped me off. Funny how people are always quick to blame and slow to praise. I want you to know I am grateful to you. Most of those women would have been killed. I’ve heard of it happening a time or two, but never thought it would happen to us.”

  “Why would one wagon party attack another?”

  “The truth is they aren’t going to Oregon. Usually you have to be on guard right out of Independence, Missouri. Lots of wagon trains get robbed by people who pretend to be on a train. They don’t usually come out this far. Why bother when there are easy pickings closer to towns?”

  “That would make more sense. Or at least before people lighten their wagons.”

  Jed joined them, hunkered down, and poured himself some coffee. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. Have you noticed anyone suspicious in our party?”

  Smitty shook his head. “No one shifty. If someone is carrying something of value, they’re keeping a low profile. I guess it’s time to make friends with the unfriendly.”

  “The unfriendly?” she asked.

  Smitty smiled. “You know, the ones that keep to themselves. In a case like this, I’d rule out the mean ones and the busybodies.”

  Jed took a swig of his coffee. “Too bad we didn’t capture one.”

  She laughed. “I’ve seen many interrogation techniques you’ve probably never heard of.”

  They all turned toward the sound of a throat clearing. Winston Richards stood there, stone faced. “A word of advice, Miss Lewis. Don’t be caugh
t saying things like that. People are already on edge with you traveling with us. You don’t need to talk about your savage ways.”

  “Pa, stop. Let’s just go back to our wagon,” Ricky Richards said. He sent her an apologetic look.

  “Ricky, I know you’re sweet on her and all, but this is exactly why you have to give up your ridiculous notion of her. Once a woman had gone savage there is no redeeming her.” Winston shook his head.

  For a moment, she wanted to slap him. She put her hand to her throat. Why had that even popped into her head?

  Jed stepped in front of her, and widened his stance. “I think this conversation is done, don’t you think, Winston?”

  Winston scowled while Ricky frowned.

  “Come on son. Let’s get ready to go.”

  She sagged onto a crate and put her coffee down. Staring at the dry ground, she wondered what had come over her. Perhaps she needed to start questioning her sanity. Lots of captives went crazy. Was that what was happening to her? Looking up her gaze met Jed’s questioning one. She gave him a slight smile hoping he’d think everything was fine.

  “I’d best check on the biscuits. No one likes them burned.” She could feel the gazes of both men upon her. Dang, even Smitty thinks there’s something wrong.

  Rex rode in and slid off his horse. “I followed them. They went back the way they came. I sure wish we’d have captured one of them.”

  She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from her. “It’s better this way, believe me, Rex.”

  Jed shook his head as he rode Paint up and down the line of wagons all day. It certainly had been a jam-packed day. Conspiracy theories were related to him all day. Half thought those men worked with the Indians and hence, Lily. A few thought Lily had snuck over to the other party and enticed them to come and raid the camp with promises of riches. The other half of the people knew it was the greed of men and were busy watching the horizon for more trouble.

 

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