by CJ Roberts
“I can drive. I’m not good with a stick though.”
“I don’t remember you being quite so bad with mine.” A smile played across her lips as she gawked at me. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s flirt.
“I’ve seen you handle your stick, Caleb. You’re much better at it than I am.” She kept eye contact with me as I stared at her in shock, but she still blushed something furious.
I tried to make words come out of my mouth. I settled for smiling and shaking my head. She’d made me uncomfortable in the best way. It was a skill only she seemed to possess. I know it sounds juvenile, but there it is.
Finally, we reached my car. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t expect Livvie to be impressed. If you’ve ever stood in the presence of a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera and not gotten a tingly sensation in your naughty bits, you have to be very young, very old, or completely fucking blind.
“Nice car,” she said.
I could tell she was trying to be nonchalant. She didn’t do it well. I knew what she looked like when her pussy was wet.
“Wait until you get inside. It’s my favorite part.” And yes, gentle readers, I am that fucking smooth. I didn’t open the door for her, but considering I was used to women opening them for me, let’s call it progress.
I slid against the soft black leather and reached for Livvie’s safety harness. Within the enclosed space of the vehicle, her scent infiltrated my senses. I took my time pulling the straps across Livvie’s chest. I could feel her anxiety like a physical caress, but I didn’t think it had to do with fear.
I was mere inches from her red lips. They were gently parted. I could hear her taking soft open-mouthed breaths. I looked up into her eyes and noticed immediately how they seemed both vigilant, and heavy with desire. She was watching my every move very carefully.
I leaned closer to her. I moved slowly, giving her every opportunity to say no or push me away. Carefully, I braced myself against her door with one hand. I didn’t want my weight against her, not yet. I brushed the end of her nose with mine, urging her head to tilt upward. I felt her breath against my mouth, faster and heavier than before. And at last, I watched her eyes close as she leaned forward.
I let the tip of my tongue trace her bottom lip, coaxing her mouth open. I didn’t want to rush things. Well, I did want to, but I know when I shouldn’t. I wanted to push her up against the door, rip off her panties, and ram myself into her, but I suspected she wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I would. It was enough to feel her lips opening for me. I came a little closer and she let out a soft whimper into my mouth.
She wanted me. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.
I kissed her for a long time. I couldn’t get enough of her moans. I liked to threaten to pull away and let her lean forward, chasing after my mouth. I was pretty sure if I used my skills in the right way, I could get Livvie into my bed. I could see every glorious inch of her. Taste her pussy in my mouth before I wrapped her legs around me and fucked her until there was no come left inside me.
I heard myself moan, but I didn’t give a fuck. I hadn’t had sex in months, and the sex I’d had since Livvie wasn’t worth mentioning or even thinking about. I’d jerked off before I came to meet her and my balls still felt heavy. I took a chance and removed my hand from the door. I let myself caress her shoulder to gauge her reaction to my touch.
“Caleb,” she sighed. She gripped the edges of her seat and pushed her chest out slightly. Her tongue pushed harder and deeper into my mouth.
Fuck! Yes! I wanted to yell the words. I reached for her breast and my cock throbbed when I felt how hard her nipple was against my palm. I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra beneath her dress and the thin fabric let me feel every contour of her. As quickly as I could, I pushed on the harness and released the straps. I pulled the fabric aside and Livvie’s beautiful breast came into view.
“Caleb!” It wasn’t a sigh this time. She was a little panicked.
I didn’t let it stop me. I could still hear the lust in her voice. I palmed her breast and put my mouth around her puckered nipple. I sucked on her greedily. I moaned loud and gripped her harder when her cry hit the air and her hands held on to my head, pulling me closer.
Somewhere in my lust-addled head I knew the situation wasn’t ideal. As sexy as a Gallardo Superleggera is, it’s incredibly cramped and certainly wasn’t conducive to the all-out fuck-fest I had in mind. It took every ounce of self-control I didn’t possess to pull myself away from Livvie’s delicious nipple.
It was harder not to go back to it when I got a good look at Livvie upon pulling away. Her body was tilted at an angle, with her head against the door, and her dress was pushed to the side to expose one of her breasts. Her nipple was hard and wet from my mouth. Livvie’s lipstick deserved an award because it had surprisingly stayed on her lips and wasn’t smeared all over her face.
“Let me take you home, Livvie. Please. I can’t stand being this close to you and not being inside you for one more fucking second.” I put myself out there. I let her know exactly what my intentions were.
She was slow to catch her breath. Her dark brown eyes looked on me with lust, but also with what seemed to be a myriad of other emotions.
“What’s wrong? I know you want this as much as I do.” I tried not to sound annoyed, but it’s next to impossible not to sound like an asshole when my dick is hard enough to pound nails and I’m expected to have higher brain function.
Livvie eyed me warily. Sadly, it was an expression I’d come to know very well in our time together. She could probably tell I was annoyed and it was scaring her. Carefully, she set about adjusting her dress and slipping her breast back into it. She couldn’t seem to stop fidgeting, and with every movement it became obvious she was pondering her next actions.
Then, with her gorgeous tits no longer in view and her racy dress smoothed down to reflect a more demure appearance, she spoke.
“I want to ask you a few questions, Caleb, and I need for you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?” She looked toward me with her sad brown eyes.
She had me in a precarious position and I was willing to do whatever it would take to make her happy again. I wanted the opportunity to taste Livvie’s happy tears again.
“Ask me anything you really want to know. But only if you think you can handle the answer.” I couldn’t stress my point enough. She couldn’t ask me for honesty and then hate me for following the rules. Well, she could—but it’s a shitty thing to do to a person.
“Okay,” she said resolutely. “You drive and I’ll ask my questions.”
I raised a disbelieving brow.
“Wouldn’t it be easier to ask me now, when I don’t have to navigate in traffic? And where exactly do you want me to take you?”
Livvie smiled coyly and it made my chest ache. She could be such a tease sometimes.
“I want you distracted, Caleb. I don’t want to give you the chance to shape your version of the truth. You’re far too good at half-truths. Just drive around and I’ll tell you when to stop. Stay in the city—no rural roads.” She reached for her harness and strapped herself in.
I didn’t know if I was offended or impressed, but I decided to go with the more agreeable of the two.
“Don’t trust me?” I asked and smiled. She’d always been a fan of my smile.
“To a point,” she replied smoothly. “I trust you enough to get in your car, but you can’t blame me for being cautious.”
I could feel my face and neck getting hot. I wasn’t immune to my guilt. I felt guilty for a lot of things where Livvie was concerned and she was right. She was entitled to much more than caution. I cleared my throat to break through the tension. I adjusted myself as surreptitiously as possible, put on my harness, and started the car.
“Whoa!” Livvie gripped the door handle as the car roared to life and the engine caused our seats to vibrate.
I smiled at the knowledge her pussy had received a little tickl
e. My balls appreciated the RPM too. I pulled away from my parking spot and tried to concentrate on navigating our way out of the tourist-filled traffic. In the pit of my stomach, my anxiety churned and threatened to ruin my dinner.
“Okay, I’m all yours. Ask me anything you’re prepared to have answered.” From the corner of my eye I could see a smile tugging at the corners of Livvie’s mouth.
“You’re all mine?” she asked.
I looked in her direction.
“Are you serious? That’s your first question? This might be easier than I thought. Yes, Livvie, I’m all yours.” I winked at her for good measure. My stomach felt a little better when I saw her smile.
“And you’re mine, only mine.” The void fed on the memory.
“Good to know. But it won’t be that easy. When you offered to take me home, did you mean my house?” Her tone hinted at her unease.
I suddenly knew where this conversation was going to go. However, I’d promised to answer her honestly. I always kept my promises. All, except one. I pushed the thought away.
“You didn’t want to go to mine, so I thought yours might be better.”
“Do you know where I live?” she accused.
I rolled my eyes.
“Yes.”
She was quiet for a while, but I couldn’t really gauge her thoughts because I had to focus on the narrow, disjointed streets.
“Okay,” she said resolutely. “It makes sense you’d know where I live. I’m sure it took you a while to find me.”
“It did.” I smiled again, but I can’t be sure it was genuine. I don’t like answering questions, especially ones that sound like a trap.
“How long have you known where I am?” The tone of her voice was less than friendly.
“Livvie, I—”
“Caleb. You promised.”
I gritted my teeth.
“I’ve known for a few weeks.” I slammed on my brakes to avoid hitting a group of drunken idiots crossing the street. Fucking teenagers, they thought they owned the world. I rolled down my window without thinking and yelled at them. “Get the fuck out of the road!” One of them gave me the finger and called me a fag in Spanish. “I’ll show you a fag, you little bitch. I’ll fuck-start your head!”
“Caleb!” Livvie cried out and gripped my arm. I snapped my head toward her and I could see she was more than a little frightened. It irritated me more than I understood at the time. I watched as the group of soccer idiots kept walking down the street. They were still laughing and shouting at me. I wanted to shoot each of them in the kneecaps.
A horn blared behind me. I stepped on the gas and propelled us into a roundabout a bit too quickly.
“This isn’t going the way I hoped, Livvie. You’re obviously scared of me and I’m just getting irritated. Maybe I should take you home.” I felt a pang in my chest as I spoke. I didn’t want to take her home, at least not to drop her off. But I couldn’t take much more cat and mouse. It’s just not who I am.
“If that’s what you want, then I think you better.” She was definitely angry.
“No. It’s not what I want. I wouldn’t have gone through all the damn trouble to find you if that’s what I wanted. Please be rational.”
“You be rational, Caleb. You show up out of the fucking blue and just expect me to fall on my back and throw my legs open for you? No! Not until I know what the hell you’ve been up to for the last year. Not until I know why you’re back in my life and what you expect from me.”
Okay, that made sense. I knew it did. I didn’t have to like it. My entire life had changed. I’d given up everything I knew and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. Why do women have to do so much talking? If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re thirsty, drink. If you want somebody to fuck the guts out of you, just say so!
Of course, I knew I couldn’t say any of those things without proverbially shooting myself in the foot. I’d come to grovel. I’d fucking grovel. I took a deep breath and slowed down. The car could practically idle and do 40kph.
“I don’t expect you to fall on your back and throw your legs open.” I spoke calmly. “But it would be nice.” I glanced in her direction and gave her my most suggestive smile. She glared at me.
“I don’t know what I expected, Pet. I’ve been thinking about you for a long time. I guess I just want to say I’m sorry. I know I can’t erase our past. I can’t promise you I’m a completely different person. I’m messed up in ways most people can’t possibly understand, but I care about you. I had to find you and tell you you’re the only thing I care about anymore.” I kept my eyes on the road and swallowed hard. My pride is thick and I may have had to swallow more than once to force it down.
She sighed.
“I… care about you too, Caleb. The past year hasn’t been easy for me. It’s not just moving, or letting go of my family and friends….” She was silent for a minute. When she spoke, there were tears in her voice. “You betrayed me.”
She may as well have slapped me again. Maybe punched me in the stomach for good measure. She knew how much the word “betrayed” would get to me.
“How?” I asked the question as smoothly as I could.
“I was ready to go with you. After everything you’d done. And you just… left me. You have no idea what I had to go through. How hard I had to work to become… human.” She whispered the words. She looked out the window and watched the same streets pass her.
I’m not sure where I went mentally. I kept circling the same large block. I remembered that day. I had replayed it in my mind a million times in the past year. What could I say to her? The truth was awful. I’d killed Rafiq the day before. I’d buried the only family I had ever known, and I was reeling with the discovery he had been the cause of every horrible thing that had happened to me. I loved him. I killed him. I couldn’t look at Livvie without comparing myself to Rafiq. I had kidnapped her, tortured her, raped her, and taken her away from everything she knew. And she said she loved me. That had been the worst part.
“I wanted you to be sure.” My words sounded alien, wooden. I felt Livvie’s hand on my arm. It startled me and brought me back from the place I’d been. I took a few seconds to just look at her. She was so damn beautiful—not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. She was stronger than me. She was braver. She didn’t want vengeance.
“I know why you made me get out. It took me a long time to accept it, but I understand. I know it was your way of being selfless, your way of sacrificing. But you made me sacrifice too. I almost went bat-shit crazy.” She smiled genuinely and I couldn’t help but follow suit.
“You are crazy, Livvie. But I wouldn’t have you any other way.” I turned my hand over and she moved her hand into mine. It’s stupid how happy it made me. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am not the poster child for mental health.”
“Oh, I noticed.”
“Bitch.” I feigned insult.
“Asshole.”
“I missed you,” I said.
She squeezed my hand.
“Take me to a hotel, Caleb.”
I visibly straightened. There was a fleeting moment of internal struggle while I contemplated giving her answers to questions she didn’t ask, but in the end I just had to be me. I am the master of half-truths.
"I know just the place."
Chapter Two
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I put the keycard into the door. I knew what the room would look like. I knew Livvie would think it was beautiful. I knew there was an enormous bed waiting to be soiled. What I didn’t know was if I’d get the chance to use it the way I wished.
“Wow, Caleb.” Livvie stepped inside and put her purse on the coffee table. “You certainly know how to make an impression. First the car, now the room.”
I shrugged from the foyer.
“The car’s rented. Technically, so is the room. I have good taste though; no one can deny me that.”
“No, I guess they can’t.” She wandered to the curtains an
d pulled them back. It seemed to be a clear indication she didn’t trust me.
I took the insult as best I could. How insulted did I really have a right to be? I knew she believed the hotel to be a secure place to meet. All she’d have to do was scream and someone would probably hear us. Of course, the key word there was probably. I was tempted to remind her that if I were so inclined, she wouldn’t even get to scream. However, I figured it wasn’t in my best interest to point such things out to her.
I walked into the living area and made myself comfortable on the sofa. I wanted to get the preliminaries out of the way as soon as possible and get back to more pleasurable pursuits. In the meantime, I watched Livvie. Always inquisitive, my Livvie, a curious little kitten. I eyed her from my seat as she ran her long fingers along the furniture, the drapes, and the Tiffany lamp on the desk.
“Livvie.” She focused on me. Her nerves were obvious. “Come sit with me.”
She shook her head slightly.
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
I rested my head on my fist. I stared. On this point there would be no discussion. I’d made my request clear and I expected her to acquiesce. I wasn’t going to argue moot points. I took great pleasure in exerting my dominance. It was fun watching her squirm.
Taking my bait, Livvie filled the silence.
“Caleb… come on. You know the second I go over there you’re just going to pounce on me.” She was biting her lip again, her fingers nervously tugging on it. “Caleb? Are you even going to say anything? Oh, okay, so you’re just going to sit over there, looking all ‘you know you want me’? I’m not scared of you, Caleb.” She crossed her arms over her chest and tried her best to look intimidating. “I have pepper spray in my purse!”
I couldn’t help it. I burst into laughter.
“Oh my god, you’re such a jerk,” she said. She walked toward me and unceremoniously plopped onto the sofa. “Fine! I’m here.”
I was still holding my stomach when my laughter finally subsided and I could make eye contact without starting up again.
