by Dana Mason
"I wonder how Julie would feel about it."
A brick dropped into her stomach. Brian's parents had always been at the top of her list of favorite people. They'd been such a huge part of her life growing up, Greg often stepping in as a substitute father after her daddy had died. Why wouldn't they want her here?
"Julie and Melissa mended their friendship," Ali said, stepping to Melissa's side. "Julie would want her here, and I know the kids are glad she's here."
Greg's lips tilted into a faint smile. "Good." He exhaled heavily. "I'm glad to hear that. I know you two were talking before…when Micah went missing. I'm glad you came together, especially now that we've lost her."
Melissa tried to smile through her now rapidly flowing tears. "Nobody regrets the years lost more than I do. Having had the last few months with her have been a saving grace. Regardless of our past, you must know, I only want peace for Brian, Erin, and Cody."
Greg looked over his shoulder toward the house. "If Brian can hold himself together, they may actually find peace again, one day." He nodded and said, "Thank you for your help today and for helping the kids get through this." He hugged Melissa, lingering for a moment. "I am glad to see you're doing well, Melissa. We have missed you."
"Thank you. I've missed you and Nora very much, as well." She took a heavy breath as he withdrew from the hug. He gave her another faint smile and turned to walk back into the house.
Melissa stepped forward to follow, but Ali grabbed her arm and hissed her name.
"What, Ali?"
"You knew about Julie's affair?"
"Yes—so what?"
"Why didn't you tell Brian? He didn't have to find out by seeing her on the street with another man."
"Are you seriously asking me that? Are you asking me why I didn't tell him his wife was having an affair?"
"Don't, Melissa, don't do that. It's not about you and Brian, and it's not about me either."
"This hasn't been easy for me." Melissa tugged her arm free, heat rising on her face. "Not telling him." She closed her eyes, fighting for calm. When she opened them back up, she looked directly into Ali's eyes. "Julie had everything, and she threw it away. This has been eating me alive for weeks." Ali cupped Melissa shoulder, but Melissa shrugged away. "Leave me alone."
"No, look at me, Melissa," Ali said. "I understand—"
"Don't! Because you don't know. You have no idea what this feels like."
"Melissa."
"God, Julie—ugh!" Melissa gritted her teeth, making fists with her hands. "I just got her back, Ali. I finally get them back into my life and then—then I find out she's cheating on him. You don't understand what this is like for me. She had everything, and I've had to sit by and watch her throw everything away."
"You're hurt, but cursing the dead won't help."
"No, Ali, Brian's hurt! He hasn't eaten or slept in days. He's a mess because of her, because of what she's done—to him and to her own children. He's so hurt…and lost; he can't even think straight right now. Yes, I loved Julie, too, and, yes, I miss her, and, yes, I regret all those years I wasted in anger, but that doesn't make her saintly."
"Who told you Brian hasn't eaten or slept?"
"Erin calls me every day, crying, because she's worried about her dad. God! And look what Julie did to Erin!" Melissa said, widening her eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"Who do you think told me about Julie's affair?"
"What?" Ali reached out and gripped Melissa's hand. "Erin knew?"
"Yes, she told me a couple of weeks ago when she caught her mom with him in Jeffries' classroom."
"Oh my God. I can't imagine what that must have been like for her…" Ali looked down as her eyes filled with tears. "To catch your mother cheating on your father, how agonizing…and with one of your teachers."
"Julie really messed things up, and all for a fling with that jerk."
Ali looked up quickly. "I want to go talk to Erin."
"No! You can't tell her you know. I promised to keep it a secret. She'll never trust me again."
"Brian needs to know. He needs to know what she's going through."
"Yes, I agree, which is why I'm going to convince her to tell him herself."
"Okay, but don't wait too long." Ali glanced up at the ice pack. "How's the head?"
"I'm fine," she said, rubbing at the bump on her head.
"Will you see if you can get Brian to eat something? I'm worried about him."
When Melissa entered the house, Brian was back on the couch staring straight ahead. Nobody seemed to want to approach or talk to him. Melissa walked past him and went into the kitchen to make him a plate of food. With the plate in hand, she sat down on the coffee table in front of him. His gaze lifted to her face.
"Eat."
Brian's eyes seemed to focus before he glanced down at her offering. "I'm not hungry."
"I don't care. You need to eat." She looked through the sliding glass door where Ali was on the back patio talking to Mark and Sarah. "Listen, if you don't eat, Ali is going to kick both our asses."
He turned toward Ali. "All this stress isn't good for her."
Melissa's stomach fluttered with affection. He'd always been so protective of Ali. She slid onto the couch next to him. "All this stress isn't good for any of us. Why do you always baby Ali?"
"She's been through a lot. She's not tough like you. She takes things hard."
"If you want to make this easier for her, you'll eat everything on this plate."
"I may have ruined my daughter's life. I wasn't thinking about how this would affect her when I beat up her teacher."
Melissa stared at him as he lifted the fork to his mouth, not sure what to say. "No…uh, I wouldn't worry much about that. Her friends seem pretty supportive. I'll talk to her about it, make sure she's okay."
"You're sweet." Brian took another bite. "It's nice of you to spend all this time with them."
She drew back. "Brian Hammel, did you call me sweet?"
A shadowed grin crossed his face. "Yeah, well, you can't fool me. I've got you figured out."
"Don't tell anyone. I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation." She smiled. "I love those kids. Julie and I hung out a lot over the summer, and I had time to get to know them."
"Erin thinks you're the coolest thing since sliced bread, although I wouldn't tell her you're getting married; it might deduct some points."
"You may be right. She doesn't seem to admire the mother and wife persona, she believes it's cool to be single and living alone."
"I guess, since you're getting married, you don't agree." Brian didn't look at her when he said it, but at least he was making an effort to be nice about it.
"Being single and living alone is lonely." She pushed at her skirt to keep her hands busy. She didn't want to look at him. Telling him that was just a little more honest than she wanted to be.
"I never would've thought you were lonely."
"I can't imagine you've thought much about me at all with your schedule…wife and kids."
Brian stiffened and Melissa quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't say that to hurt you."
"You don't really believe I don't think about you?"
She shrugged. "Why would you? I only cause you discomfort with my big mouth and bad attitude."
"I deserve everything you throw at me." He put his plate down. "I get that."
"No, not all of it," she said with a crooked smile. She reached over and picked his plate back up and handed it to him. "And look at us now. We're talking without fighting."
He sighed and took the plate from her. "That's only because I'm too tired to fight." He grinned and Melissa's heart lightened a little. "I'll finish my trash-talking about your boyfriend when I have more energy."
She rolled her eyes. How stupid of her to let her guard down even for a minute. "That's my cue." She stood and said, "Lucky for you, I'm in the mood to take the high road."
"Yeah, go ahead and leave when the conversati
on gets too difficult for you." He called back at her when she walked away. "You always do."
Chapter Nine
"What about this one, Al?" Melissa held up a light pink fabric square. "You like pink." They had fabric swatches spread out across Ali's dining room table with pictures of different types of bridesmaid dresses in every style.
Nothing could have been more fun than planning her wedding with her sister, who was also planning a wedding. Ali and Johnny had decided on a New Year's Eve ceremony, while Melissa chose to wait until March to marry Chase.
Melissa would have waited longer. She wasn't sure planning a wedding so soon after losing Julie was such a good idea, but she also wanted to start a family, and that, she decided, was a priority.
She thought Julie would understand. Ali fought with the idea of changing her date. Having a wedding only four short months after Julie's death didn't seem long enough, but it also made for a great distraction. Ali and Julie had been close for years and not having Julie at her and Johnny's wedding would be tough, but too many plans and deposits had been made for her to change things.
"No, dark colors seem better for a winter wedding. Maybe you should do pink since you're getting married in the spring."
"No, I'm not much of a pink person. Chase wouldn't like pink either."
"What colors are you doing?" Ali asked her sister.
"I want simple black and white." Melissa pictured it in her head with bold-colored flowers. "Maybe red, purple, and bright yellow in the bouquets."
Ali smiled at her. "That is so you."
"I know," Melissa said. "I'm getting really excited."
"I hope it's everything you hoped your wedding would be, not like getting married for the third time."
"Ali, that doesn't matter."
"I don't know. A third wedding, Melissa?" Ali rolled her eyes. "It's ridiculous. Very Elizabeth Taylor-ish, don't you think?"
"No, I don't, and who the hell cares?" She brushed a dismissive hand at her. "I can't wait to see you in that dress." She held up her fingers in the shape of a camera. "Click."
"No! You're not working at my wedding. If I see a camera in your hands, I'm going to flip out. I hired a great photographer, so don't even think about it."
Melissa chuckled. "Okay, fine." She picked up a couple of other samples, gold tones, blue. "This one is perfect for a New Year's Eve wedding, Ali." Melissa held up the shimmering gold fabric. "I love the way it catches the light and the color in your eyes."
Ali smiled. "In your eyes." She took the swatch and held it up to Melissa's face. "I never would have picked this color, but it is beautiful. I hope it doesn't make you look like Vegas showgirls."
"No, it's more yellow than gold, but it could be elegant. Lighter than you wanted, but don't forget, it is a New Year's Eve party. You'll want it to sparkle." Melissa took it back and held it next to a photo of the bridesmaid dress style they'd already picked.
Melissa had always planned to use green to match Brian's eyes. She grew up imagining her wedding to Brian. She'd dreamed about it for most of her life, but when she lost him, she never thought she'd marry anyone else. This wouldn't be the wedding she'd dreamed of all those years, not even close, but she wanted it. She inhaled deeply, trying to push thoughts of Brian from her mind. "What about this deep purple?"
Ali chuckled. "I can't put you in purple."
"Why?"
"Brian talked about you in a purple dress at Julie's wake." Ali took the purple swatch and rubbed it between her fingers. "He was in such a daze all day, and he kept bringing up this memory."
"What purple dress?"
"Junior year homecoming. You wore a purple tapered dress."
"Oh…uh, oh." Her stomach fluttered and her eyes widened. "He brought that up?" She reached back to find a chair and lowered herself into it.
"Yes, he wouldn't let it go."
Melissa remembered, too, like yesterday. She and Brian had planned that night for months. He'd even helped her pick out the dress.
"What's wrong, Lis?"
Melissa shook her head, trying to force the emotions back. "That night…" Melissa took a deep breath, fighting the overcoming sense of loss sweeping through her. "Junior Homecoming was the first time Brian and I made love." The corners of her mouth turned into a frown. "We were both virgins and had planned it for months."
"Well…considering how long you two had been together, it's nice to hear you waited until junior year."
"We wanted our first time to be special," Melissa said. "I can't believe he brought that up during Julie's wake."
"He was stuck down memory lane, and memory lane for him includes you."
"I guess that's true," Melissa said. "He'd also just found out about my engagement, and he wasn't happy."
"Speaking of." Ali raised an eyebrow. "Are you still having doubts?"
"I'm not having doubts, nor was I having doubts then. I just don't like the way Chase proposed. Not very romantic."
"I hope you're sure, Melissa. Very few things are more painful than divorce. Trust me on that."
"I know, and thank you, but I'm confident. I'm happy with Chase, and I think he's going to be a great dad."
"Promise me, Melissa, if you do start having doubts, or any hint of hesitation, promise me you'll wait. You don't have to hurry into this. You can postpone until you're ready."
Melissa met Ali's eyes, trying with everything she had to prove to her sister she was sure of Chase, and of her decision. "I'll promise, if you promise to stop doubting my decision, and stop doubting Chase."
Ali lowered her eyes, a hint of pink touching her cheeks. "Yes, you know me as well as I know you."
Melissa smiled. "Yes, I do."
"Which is proof you're second guessing your decision."
"And proof you doubt my fiancé."
Ali gave her a crooked smile. "Touché." The smile slipped from her face and she said, "But, in my defense, I like Chase. I think he's a good man. It's you I doubt, or rather, the reasoning behind your decision."
"I don't doubt my decision, Ali, my hesitation is…" Melissa frowned, unable to explain herself in the right manner. "It won't be the perfect day I'd hoped for. Do you understand?"
Ali tilted her head and said, "Yes, which is why I think you should consider waiting. Give it more time, Melissa."
"I am ready." She looked up at her sister. "I'm more than ready for a wedding…to get married and build a family. That's what's important. I'm not stupid. I know that nothing is ever perfect."
"That's true, Melissa." Ali held up a bridal magazine. "These pictures lie. These perfect images of a wedding, of a marriage, are a lie. Nothing is ever perfect. What matters is being happy and being with the person you're meant for. The right people coming together make a marriage."
Melissa pursed her lips with a curt nod. "I understand."
"Here's the thing." Ali leaned forward, drawing closer to Melissa. "Not only is no marriage perfect, it's incredibly hard when you're with the wrong person. I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced your feelings for Chase are strong enough to justify this commitment."
"Not everyone is lucky in love like you, Ali. Chase is the right person for me. I'm choosing him, not settling for him."
They both looked up when the dining room door swung open.
"Hey, what's going on?" Ali said, smiling at Johnny when he walked in with Mark.
"Hey, sunshine." He leaned in to kiss Ali then glanced around at Melissa. "What's up, Melissa?"
"Wedding stuff…" she said, placing her cold hand to her hot cheeks. "How weird is it that your ex-husband and fiancé are friends." She looked up at Mark and pointed with a smile. "Hey! Happy birthday!"
"That's right. What are you doing here?" Ali asked
"I have a date with my wife and daughter, but I need to take care of something first." Mark pulled out a chair and sat down. "I need to ask you for a favor," he said, looking at Ali.
"What's going on?" Ali asked.
"Wait a minute. I thought you
were asking Melissa," Johnny said. "I don't think I want Ali going over there."
Mark shook his head. "There's no way Melissa will do it. Besides, Ali has the best shot at getting through to him."
"Wait," Melissa and Ali said at the same time. They exchanged confused glances, and Ali said, "What do you want me to do?"
"I thought you might check on Brian."
"He's still on mandatory leave," Johnny said. "He won't talk to anyone or answer any calls."
"Why won't they let him go back to work?" Melissa asked.
"Because of the fight at the wake. He openly threatened to kill Frank Jeffries in front of the sergeant," Johnny said. "They won't let him back until he has his act together."
"His act together?" Melissa scoffed. "What exactly are they expecting?"
Mark chuckled. "Well, for starters, he needs to return to the land of the living. Get out of the house and show himself to someone other than the liquor store clerk. He's gotten to the point where he's violent whenever anyone tries to talk to him."
Johnny pulled out a chair and sat down. "I don't want Ali going over there."
"Gee, thanks, Johnny." Melissa smirked. "But it's okay if he gets violent with me?"
"No, that's not—" He shook his head. "He won't get violent with you or Ali, but he might get mean. You're scrappy. You'll fight back and not take his crap. Ali will get her feelings hurt."
"It's not appropriate for Melissa to do this though," Ali said, glancing up from her fabric swatches. "Considering the circumstances."
Johnny looked from Ali to Melissa. "Melissa is the perfect person to do this."
"Why can't you do it?" Ali asked Mark.
Mark gestured between him and Johnny. "We've both tried."
"He won't listen, he just wants to fight. He'd never hurt Melissa, and she's stubborn enough to get through to him. She has the best chance," Johnny said.
"Maybe we should wait, give him more time?" Ali asked Mark.
"It's been nearly three weeks, Ali. The sooner he gets back on the job, the quicker he'll heal," Mark said.
"He's done nothing but sit around and drink since the funeral," Johnny said.
