I wasn’t good at this stuff. I didn’t know what to do to make this better. What could you say to that?
Anger boiled under my skin the more I thought of Arthur’s cutting words. He may be lashing out from grief, but to say those things to Lennox? To a man who already carried so much guilt on his shoulders, who already blamed himself for Gracie predicament? It wasn’t Lennox’s fault, and it wasn’t fair to lay that on him.
Doing the only thing I could think of, I strode up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, molding myself to him, my body telling him what no words could. Not yet, anyway.
He didn’t respond for a long time, but I didn’t let go, and slowly his arms wrapped around me, tucking me fiercely into his body. His face burrowed into my neck, breathing me in with staggered breaths, not letting himself totally give in to the pain.
“It’s not your fault,” I whispered against his skin. “Arthur knows it too. Gracie was unwell. That’s not on you. Our actions are our own, no one else’s.”
He shuddered, a croaked noise coming from the depth of his chest.
“But he was right in one thing. Tragedy does follow me. You need to run far away from me. I ruin and destroy everyone who gets near me.”
“Stop.” I leaned back, gripping his face in my hands. His eyes were red, his expression twisted, but he didn’t let one tear fall. “That’s utter bullshite. You have done the exact opposite for me. I was letting myself drown, losing myself and who I was—allowing others to dictate my fate. You were the one to wake me up, to make me face the truth. You reminded me who I really was, what I wanted in this one life we get.” I gripped his jaw harder, forcing him to look at me. “I’ve never felt so alive. So happy…” I touched my nose to his, feeling his hands grip the sides of my head. “I love you, Lennox. So much, there is no possible way to deny it. I’m stupidly and completely in love with you.”
“Fuck.” He hissed in, his grip clenching my head, drawing me into him with frantic desperation, his lips inhaling me. “I wish I was a better man, forcing you to run away from me while you can…but I’m not. Like I said, I’m not sweet or good.” He kissed me so deeply, I could feel it in every cell of my body, spinning my head. “I’m selfish and greedy—especially when it comes to you. I’m not letting you go.”
“Good thing. Because I’m selfish and greedy when it comes to you too. You aren’t getting rid of me now.” I went on my toes, seizing his mouth brutally. He moaned, picking me up, my legs wrapping around him as he carried me back to the bed.
The day might not have started how I imagined, meeting Gracie’s father in such a way. But oddly, confronting the past actually gave me hope for the future.
Our future.
Chapter 14
“You know I’m against this, right?” Lennox grumbled next to me, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets, his wet shoes squeaking over the linoleum floor.
“How did I miss that the last four times you told me?” I nudged him, turning my covered head up to him, winking. He peeked back, his cap and hood hiding him underneath, both of us trying to bury our identities. His bright eyes caught mine, roaming heavily over me, dropping to my lips, forcing me to catch my breath.
“Stop.” I huffed, turning away, directing us down a hallway.
“I can’t,” he muttered gruffly into my ear. “Told you, you’ve broken me now. I can’t stop.”
Desire balled in my throat, dropping down as I swallowed, trying to keep on point. Same. “Focus,” I murmured back, but it was more for myself than him.
“When it comes to you, I always do.”
I halted suddenly, tugging Lennox into a corner as a doctor and nurse came out of the room I was heading for. They conversed for a moment before parting ways, leaving the door open. The room appeared empty of visitors.
“You sure about this?” Lennox gripped my hand in his. “Because sometimes finding out the truth is not better.
“I know.” I exhaled, my voice not sounding as sure as I wanted it to. “But I can’t stop now. I already know…I just need him to confirm.”
Going to my aunt was secondary to going to Lord William. She had too many reasons to lie, to deny the truth, and toss the story away as nothing.
Lord William had no reason. He might be an evil SOB, but he thrived off hurting people with the truth. He had no incentive to lie. Did he know about Landen? If he did, did he ever want to be in his life? Did he care he had a son?
“Be sure, Spence.” Lennox leaned over me, cocooning us in this little world of just us. “Right now, you can still live with the questions and doubt. But once you know for sure, you can’t unknow it…you will carry that burden forever.”
I pursed my lips together, not responding.
“But I know there’s no stopping you.” His cheek lifted in a side grin. “You would never be able to leave it alone.”
“Oh, you think you know me so well?” I raised one eyebrow.
“Yes.” He nodded. “Just like with animals, you want to protect and take care of everyone. But you need all the facts and data, so you know how best to protect or help them.”
I sucked in, feeling bare and exposed. No one had ever seen me so clearly, even myself. It was a little unnerving. Clearing my throat, I stepped back, looking at the room. “Then you know I need to do this.”
“Yeah, I do. But I also know, very well, truths come with costs.” His concern for me ballooned in my heart, making me fall for him even more. Without warning, I went on my toes, my mouth crushing his briefly before swiveling away, striding toward the hospital room.
Stepping into the room, the noise of machines and the heart monitor beeped rhythmically in the quiet room. My gaze fell on the sleeping man in the bed, and I almost walked out, thinking I got the wrong room.
He had always been old to me, but now he appeared frail and insignificant. The larger-than-life ego he contained had been sucked out, leaving a husk of his twisted soul. His face had a sickly pallor, trenched with wrinkles, his tall, lean body reedy and boney.
Strange, I stood in his office just the other day, and this fragile man had me restrained against the wall. Now he lay in a bed like death was summoning him.
With each step I took, my breath faltered, ready for the skeleton to sit up and scare the hell out of me.
Lord William’s lids fluttered open, his murky brown eyes landing on me.
“Ms. Sutton.” Like an old groaning house, his voice crackled and splintered. “I am surprised to see you at my bedside.”
“Believe me, it’s the last place I want to be as well.”
Lord William’s attention floated behind me. “I see you brought your bodyguard. Is he watching your delicious young body close, my dear? I know I would be.”
“Shut up, you gasbag.” Lennox pitched off the wall, but I held out my hand, my expression telling him I got this.
A chuckle came from William, shifting into a cough. “By the looks of it, Mr. Easton, you are finally doing much more than watching her body from afar.” The old man grinned smugly. “How is the Prince taking it? Does he even know you’re slipping your cock into his future wife? Is the princess’s pussy that special you would risk everything for it?”
“Fuck off—” Lennox lurched forward again.
“Lennox.” I jumped in front of him, pushing against his taut chest. “He’s trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t let him.” My palms pressed into his torso until his glower dropped to me, his jaw rolling and gritting together.
A laugh filled the room as William pushed himself higher on the bed. “Wow, it must be quite extraordinary if she has you trained so obediently and wanting more. I’m disappointed I didn’t get to try it out. See what all the fuss is about.”
This time I couldn’t stop Lennox. He leapt for the old man, his hand wrapping around his throat, shoving him back into the pillow.
“You fucking useless piece of rubbish.” Lennox squeezed harder, William’s pale skin turning a purple-red. “Does it make you feel like a ma
n to force and assault women? Make you feel powerful? Strong? That’s the problem with pathetic sods like you; you mistake your deep insecurities and lack of character as masculinity and strength because you’re too scared to see you are nothing. Have nothing. No one loves you or cares about you. Your life will make no mark. Simply another name on a headstone. Alone and forgotten.”
William’s hands batted at Lennox, his mouth parted, air no longer going in or out.
William’s life meant very little to me, but Lennox’s meant everything. “Lennox.” My fingers wrapped around his wrist. “Stop.”
“He rapes and assaults women. The world would be better off.” He pushed down on the lord’s neck harder.
“I agree, but I won’t be better off if you are in jail,” I begged, tugging on his grip. “Please. For me.”
He inhaled, his shoulders rising, tightening one more time before he dropped back. William’s hacks and sputters instantly filled the room, his hand rubbing his throat.
“You are insane. You almost killed me! I’m going to call security!” William hissed out, grappling for the call button.
“No. You aren’t.” Lennox easily swiped it out of his reach.
“Give it to me.”
“Look who is the one scared and crying for help now?” Lennox snarled at him. “Something all the women you assaulted were not able to do.”
“They came willingly! Not my fault they were all so eager to fall to their knees to work off their debts.”
“Willingly?” I bolted forward. “What part of me saying no was willing?”
“You came to my office. You knew exactly what you were getting into, so don’t act prudish and shocked. You wanted it too.”
“You bastard!” I reached for his throat.
“Spencer.” Lennox grabbed my hands, pulling me back.
“Let go!”
“No. I don’t want you going to jail for this worthless piece of shit.”
“You are both crazy.” William crawled at the air for the remote. “Give it back to me!”
“Not a chance.” Lennox scoffed, his head shaking. “Spencer has a few questions to ask you. You behave like a good boy, answer them truthfully and to her satisfaction, and I might hand this back to you.”
William’s eyes darted between us on each side of his bed, realizing he was the one at a disadvantage this time.
“Spit it out then.” He huffed, his ego filling him up like an inflatable tube.
Licking my lips, I dug into my jacket pocket, pulling out the set of pictures.
Once you know for sure, you can’t unknow it…you will carry that burden forever. Lennox’s warning filtered through my mind before I ground my teeth together, flipping the images to face William.
He leaned forward, his eyesight not good enough to make them out from a distance, but I didn’t let my grip go on them.
Something shifted in his demeanor. The egotistical perfume that reeked from him dropped in an instant. His trembling hands gripped the side of the pictures.
“I haven’t looked at these in so long,” he muttered to himself.
“That’s my aunt.” I pointed at the picture, still hoping he’d correct me, telling me it was some other woman in his bed. “Right?”
His mouth compressed, his hands starting to shake more.
“Tell me,” I ordered.
“Yes,” he replied so quietly I almost didn’t hear him, his fingers sliding gently over her youthful face. She was lying on her stomach in only a pair of underwear and heels, peering salaciously at the cameraman, surrounded by S&M toys.
“You and Aunt Lauren had a relationship then?” I cringed.
“Yes.” He sounded lost and far away, his gaze still on her face.
“Did you blackmail her? Force her into this?” I didn’t know what answer I wanted, if any would be okay.
“No.” His head shot up, anger igniting his cheeks and eyes. “You may not believe this, but she came to me. Pursued me! She was bored in her marriage. It started as just a fun fling for both of us.” He licked his lip. “But we fell in love.”
A few words and it felt like he punched through my chest. It was hard for me to believe my aunt could love this man.
“She was the one in control. She dictated when I saw her, what our relationship was. I was helpless against her.” He swallowed, looking away from the images. “Take those away. I don’t want to see them anymore.”
I blinked, bewildered at his reaction. It was not put on, the heartbreak still fresh, like it was recent, not over twenty years ago. Out of all the scenarios, I had not planned on this one.
“You still love her,” I uttered without thought.
His forehead wrinkled with anger, but he didn’t counter my claim.
Holy shite.
“What happened?”
Silence.
“Tell me!”
“She used me!” he spat at me, life firing up his withered body. “Deceived me. Made me think she loved me too. Told me she’d leave her controlling husband, who had yet to even knock her up after seven years of marriage. I was willing to give it all up for her! I didn’t care about anything but having her. I didn’t care about the money, house, or our titles. We’d move abroad and become husband and wife. We both knew we either chose love or our stature. Couldn’t have both.”
I couldn’t move or speak, sensing every word was truth.
“Your aunt chose money.” He sneered. “I was so pathetic I was willing to be her lover on the side simply to be near her, to keep her. But she came back one night, told me she and Fredrick were having a baby, and to leave her alone. She never contacted me or acted like she knew me after that. It was so easy for her to cut me off. To walk away.”
My throat tightened as I pulled out my cell, a picture of a face already up on my screen.
“She destroyed me. Took my heart, my soul, and crushed it.” Wrath lashed out of him like venom. The man he was today was because of my Aunt Lauren. He had the choice to become what he did, but I saw the dark, raging fire and pain she slashed across his heart.
He wasn’t a strong enough man; he let it swallow him, twist him with ugliness and cruelty.
“So…you came after us on purpose?”
He snorted. “I didn’t even have to try. Your uncle gambled what was left of your fortune on his own. His greed and desire to rise above his station was always going to be his downfall. I began to see they were perfect for each other. Petty, hateful, and shallow. Both obsessed and desperate for affluence and wealth.
“Like you.”
“I became the man she wanted.”
I didn’t let myself feel any sympathy for the guy who was holding our family hostage, ready to tear us down because of petty grievances—the man who had continually tried to blackmail me, Lauren’s own niece, and bring me to my knees.
As if he came after me on purpose…
“Fuck.” I shook my head, more things clicking in my head. “Theo and I…I must have been a dream come true.”
“Like it was fated. I looked at you, only a few years younger than she had been when we met…” He stared into my eyes with uninhibited malice. “I wanted to destroy you. Her. Your whole family. Especially the son they had. I didn’t have to lay eyes on him to know he’d be like his wanker father and bitch mother. I wanted her to know, to feel the agony and recognize it was me who took her son’s future away from him, who stripped your whole family of their wealth and title. I lived for that moment to feel her grief and regret.”
“You’ve never met Landen?”
“No. Saw him from afar a few times. It was the closest I ever wanted to get to that little twat.”
I felt it rushing up over my tongue, knowing I couldn’t stop it, though it was about to change everything.
“That twat…the one you are set on destroying? Is your own son.”
“What?” Lord William’s eyes tempered, peering at me with confusion.
In my hand, I flipped the picture of my cousin around, on
e of us at school, a cheeky smile on his face. In my other hand, I held up the picture of young William, his smile matching my cousin’s seamlessly. Father and son. The tiny doubt I held onto vanished in that moment.
“Look closely, Lord William. The boy you wanted to ruin? Is yours,” I clipped out. “Landen is your son.”
Beep. Beep. Beep. The heart monitor picked up, plucking at my nerves like a poorly tuned violin.
Lord William clutched my mobile, pulling it close to his face, his chest rising and falling.
“No,” he whispered. “No.”
Reclaiming the cell, I flipped to another picture of Landon in my photos and held it up for him. One of us half tipsy and being silly last Christmas. How much had changed since then. The holiday was only a few days away. The girl in the photo was so naïve and unaware of what was to come. She felt like a different person. Innocent and young.
“No. He’s Fredrick’s. She told me. She acted like there was no question.”
“You really didn’t know?” It wasn’t really a question. The answer was echoing in the room, his body responding with adrenaline, the monitors chirping with his reaction.
“No,” he spurted, ire flashing up at me. “But you’re mistaken. That boy is Fredrick’s. Not mine.” He shifted in the bed, his words saying one thing, but everything else was shouting his doubt and fears of the truth. There was no question when you put them side-by-side they were related. “Now leave. I want you both to get the hell out of my sight.” His breath was labored, the machines singing like a choir.
His hand went to his chest, leaning back in his pillows, his skin blanching.
“Lord William?” Anxiety prickled at the back of my neck. Noises from the nurses’ station outside suggested they had gotten notice of his accelerated heart and were heading for this room.
“Shite, Spencer. We’ve got to go.” Lennox stepped toward the doorway. “We can’t be caught here.”
I felt awful for leaving him like that, but there was nothing I could do anyway. And us being here would only make everything worse.
“Come on!” Lennox hissed, waving me to him. My feet staggering to Lennox, I glanced back at Lord William one last time.
Royal Command (Royal Watch Book 2) Page 16
