“Oh, such a tease!” She waved her hand again, but her hungry eyes flew to Lennox with a hopeful glint. “Well, I just want to congratulate you two. I will see you again at your Holiday party the day after tomorrow.” She started to turn, her gaze stopping. “I hope I will see you there too.” Her stare dropped down Lennox’s body hungrily. She let out a breathy exhale before waddling away.
Theo burst out laughing. In an instant, our fronts dropped away, turning on each other.
“You are such an arsehole,” Lennox spat.
“Is that how thieving employees address their employers?” Theo curved an eyebrow at him.
“No one stole me.” I shook free of his touch. “I am my own person.”
“Are you? Looks like you just bounced from one bed to another.”
Lennox lurched, but I stepped between them, getting in Theo’s face.
“What really hurts me is I know this isn’t you. And one day, I hope when you come out of this, you will see I did the right thing.”
“Right thing? By sleeping with my mate?”
I took a deep breath, controlling my temper. “I know what’s coming out of your mouth is because I hurt you. I hurt my friend deeply, and I will forever carry that with me. But there’s only so far I will take the lashings. You are making it very hard to remember the guy I used to love.”
“Love?” He huffed, a flicker of angry pain in his eyes. “You have no idea what it means.”
“I did love you, Theo.” I took his hand. He flinched but didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry it couldn’t be enough, that I wasn’t meant to be the woman standing next to you. But I’m not. Maybe not now, but someday you will know how right I am.”
“Whatever makes you feel better, Spencer.” He ripped his hand away. “All I know is the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with cheated on me, making me the fool down on one knee.”
He still didn’t get it. He was the one who made himself the fool. I ended things earlier, begged him to stop. But he put us on stage, forced me to act in a play I didn’t want to be cast in…and then blamed me.
“You know what? I need you to leave.” He stepped back, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“What?” I peered around at the still lively party. Hours of torture still lay ahead of us.
“I want you to go. Now.” He tried to hide the fury in his face but failed.
“My absence won’t be seen as some insult or embarrassment to you?” I tilted my head, condescension hinting at the edges.
“I will tell them you got a headache. I’m already giving my wife excuses. Blame it on the bombing. Just get away from me. Both of you.”
I stared at him.
“I don’t want to see you until the Royal party. After Christmas, this will be done, and we can go our separate ways. Finally.”
“What will you say? Why am I not staying in the palace?”
“I don’t know; I’ll figure it out. But don’t think anyone will actually be wondering or notice your absence in the house. The only one who did was Eloise. And I doubt she wants you around.”
Ouch. But most likely true. I blinked back the hurt, nodding my head. “Okay.”
“Why are you still here?” He scowled. “Go,” he barked, the smugness he held earlier was gone, like realized he was losing a game and no longer wanted to play.
“Spencer, come on.” Lennox’s hand touched my back, my body instantly responding to his touch, curving to him.
“Yes, obey the married twat, the one you chose over me,” he jeered, drinking the rest of the wine in his glass. This guy was new to me, someone I didn’t know how to deal with. As much as I still cared about him, I realized it was no longer my place to try.
I dipped my head, stepping back into Lennox’s palm.
“Go out the back,” Theo muttered, grabbing a half-empty bottle on the table and refilling his glass, not looking at us.
“Spence,” Lennox whispered in my ear, prodding me to move. I took a step, my eyes not leaving Theo, knowing I had done this to him. He used to be so happy—sweet and charming. Nothing fazed him. Now anger lit his eyes and hurt hung violently on his shoulders, his pain whipping off his tongue in hurtful lashes.
Lennox muttered into his earpiece, knowing exactly where to take us to get out privately. A car waited for us the moment we stepped out, ready to take us back to the palace. Cameras flashed at the tinted windows, the royal car noticed by the papzz, hoping to get a peek at who was inside, leaving early. A few even tried to follow us.
“You all right?” Lennox asked from his seat across from me, preferring the spot where he could see what was coming up behind us.
I dug my nails into my skin, trying not to cry. “I don’t even know anymore.” My sentence came out broken.
“Hey.” Lennox reached for me, his hands squeezing my knees. “We’ll get through this.”
“Will we?” I brushed quickly at an unshed tear. “Do you ever wonder if it’s all worth it? All this pain and agony I’m causing?”
“So, will you marry Theo out of guilt? Be in a loveless marriage full of resentment and jealousy, become queen, which I know you don’t want, go to endless events, in heels, all because it’s less complicated than to break it off?”
“It’s just so much. This would be hard enough if Theo were a normal guy. But I’m engaged to the Prince of Great Victoria. You think it will stop just because I end it with him? Unlinking myself from the house will be unbelievably bad.” My watery eyes looked up at Lennox. “But it won’t end there. You get that, right? This won’t end. The media already hounds me and shreds me into pieces. Can you imagine what they will say when our engagement ends? It doesn’t matter what comments the RH puts up. They will come after me. My family, friends, you. It will hit everyone I love. When they find out about us? Because they will. They will rip us open, spill all your secrets—Gracie and your sister. I’m scared that no matter what you feel right now, you won’t be able to get through that. That it will tear us apart. I will be your Theo…”
“Your Theo?”
I gulped, my throat thick. “Loving me won’t be enough.”
His eyes stayed trained on me for a moment before a smile hinted on his mouth, making me furrow in confusion. I just laid out my worst fear, and he was smiling?
“What?” I huffed.
“You think I’m in love with you?”
Oh, shite.
Fire stung my cheeks, drying out my throat. “No…I didn’t mean…oh, fuck. That came out wrong.” I babbled like the awkward idiot I was.
His smile showed fully on his face as he leaned over, cupping my cheeks. “Bloody hell, I love seeing you get all flustered and tongue-tied.” His forehead leaned into mine. “I was messing with you, Spence. You were freaking out, getting far ahead of yourself. We can only take on what’s in front of us. But yes, I know it will become a shite show. I’m not a fool; I understand what is coming. And I don’t care.”
“You don’t care?” I asked skeptically. “Really? Your past will be dragged through the mud. They will call you horrible things.”
“I know what my past is, what I did. I also know what really happened. Let them talk and speculate. All I care about is what you think.” He pressed his mouth to mine gently. “I’m not someone who can confess easily how I feel. I’ve only told two women in my life that. One was related to me, and both are dead now because of me.”
I flinched, feeling his pain like it was my own.
“So I probably won’t say it as much as you want, but if you think I’m here for just a bit of fun, luv, I can find a hell of a lot simpler than you pretty much anywhere else.”
“Hey, now.” I leaned back.
He chuckled, drawing me back to him. “I’m here, Spencer. To stay, if you want me. And I will have no problem showing you every day, many times, if you need me to.” He kissed me, his taste instantly calming and rallying my desire into a frenzy. “And you wonder if I ever thought if this was all worth it?”
A bad boy smile took the side of his face. “Fuck, yes, it is!”
Chapter 18
Waking up, our naked bodies tangled, pressed together like we both couldn’t be close enough. Every muscle in me ached, my skin still burning with the deliciousness of the night before, which continued into morning. My lids were heavy, but I couldn’t close them. My head lay on his shoulder, watching him sleep like some creepy stalker.
The morning sun glistened his eyelashes, streaking over his mouth and dark hair as he slept, his arm still tight around me, his palm curving on my arse. The need to reach out and touch him, slide my fingertips over his heavy scruff, through his hair, trace his lips, was strong. There wasn’t a place I didn’t want to touch him, discover him by touch alone. Not that we didn’t do a lot of that last night. Except there had been no tenderness then. The marks on his neck and shoulder displayed the severity of my hunger for him.
The moment we returned to the palace, we hopped in his car and drove back to his flat. Then I attacked him. He didn’t even get a chance to close the door before I was ripping off his jacket, needing to feel him over my skin. Dragging him into the shower to rid myself of the night, he sensed exactly what I needed, taking me roughly against the tile wall and then again when we returned to the bed. Wet, naked, and desperate for more, we couldn’t seem to find the “enough” line. The early part of the evening had been full of false smiles and fake happiness—a performance full of lies. With us, I wanted the barest of truth.
I clawed his skin to feel the realness, the primal honesty with every thrust. We marked skin, bruised, and became the most basic forms of us. Need. Desire. Fierce and pitiless. To the point neighbors were pounding on the walls for us to shut up, but it only drove us more.
My thighs clenched at the memory, growing an even bigger smile on my face. Lennox understood what I craved and wanted without a word. Sensing this girl needed it much dirtier and rougher than anyone would ever perceive from the future princess.
In our few times together, Theo was sweet, but a little self-absorbed. Him going “wild” still left me faking a smile, convincing myself it was enough.
Fecking hell…I had been wrong. So, so wrong. But now, after Lennox, I could never go back to good enough. This man melted my brain. Selfish he was not. My mind was still so mushy it couldn’t come up with a coherent sentence to describe what he did to me, so I just stared at him. All I knew was I was an addict and needed more.
I bit down on my lip, my eyes moving over his face. Bloody hell. He was so rugged and beautiful at the same time, it hurt to look at him.
“Stop staring at me, Spencer,” his deep voice growled, forcing my teeth to dig deeper into my bottom lip.
“I thought you were asleep.”
His lids stayed closed. “I was until I felt a creeper staring at me.” His fingers curled into my skin, lightly stroking my arse.
“It’s your fault, really.” Another smile broke over my face; everything in me felt light, like champagne bubbles, fizzing up with happiness. “You’re just so pretty.”
“Pretty?” One lid parted, peering at me with a scowl.
“So, so pretty.”
A growl formed deep in his chest, his arms sweeping me up, dragging my frame over his, hands sliding up to my jaw. A gasped laugh hiccupped from my lungs at the ease and quickness with which he could move me, laying me flat over his chest. The feel of him heavy and hot against my stomach had me parting my legs around his hips, holding back a moan in my throat.
“After last night, the first thing you can think of is pretty?” His hands knotted back in my hair, pulling my face closer to his. “Clearly, I did something wrong. Took it too easy on you.”
“Too easy?” I laughed. Easy was not even in the hemisphere of last night, but taunting him was my favorite thing to do. “Actually, it was pretty lackluster…” I shrugged a shoulder. “Had better.”
“Oh, fuck. You didn’t…” He laughed, but it contained a dark warning—one that frightened and excited me. A button I wanted to push and prod at. “You have no idea what you got yourself into.”
“Really?” I lifted an eyebrow.
“Really.” His grip in my hair turned almost painful, heating my body. He moved my face just a millimeter from his, holding it in place. “Because I did go easy on you. You have no idea what I can unleash.”
A staggered breath sucked in my nose.
He grinned wickedly, and my body reacted to his statement. My breath became labored, my nipples hardening against his chest as my core was practically screaming, bring it on.
“You like that?” He pushed up his hips, grinding against me in a slow drag.
“Oh, god, yes.” I tried to nod, but his grip on my hair only tightened. He continued to move against me, so slow and controlled, while I became needy and feral. “Lennox.” I moaned, biting my lip, trying to shift so I could get what I wanted, but he kept me in place, not allowing it.
“I’m going to torture you, Spencer, to the point you won’t recall anyone before me. Make you so desperate you are pleading with me.” His free hand ran sensually down my skin, tracing his old marks he left last night before moving down, caressing and discovering places that left me gasping, already whimpering with need. “Take you to the brink over and over, then deny you what you long for until I think you deserve it.” He rolled over on me, his hands and lips seizing me, heightening every nerve to the point of pain. He kept to his word, to the point my body was thrashing and fighting with need, my cries for him going from loud to ear-splitting. He sat back, grinning. “And this is me still going easy on you.”
“Remember when you said you don’t play sadistic games to get off?” I arched my back in search of his touch, relief only he could give me.
“I never said I wasn’t into them in bed.” He grunted, flipping me over on my stomach, his knees locking my hips in place as nipped down my spine. I clutched the pillow, my lungs expanding as his palms spread my cheeks, his mouth nipping at my inner thigh.
“Lennox,” I breathed, not sure what I was asking for, but my body trembled, my nails digging into the pillow.
“What, Spencer? What do you want?”
“You are a sick twisted bastard; you know that, right?”
He chuckled darkly. “Someone gets awfully cranky when denied an orgasm.”
“Bugger off, you masochistic arse.” I ground my jaw together as I felt his lips graze the back of my thigh, all the way up and stopping. “Revenge is a bitch, you know that? I will get you back.”
“I look forward to it.”
“Please.”
“Already throwing in the towel, huh? The same girl who was saying something about last night being lackluster?” He egged me on, both of us knowing it was the farthest thing from that. “You calling it?” His tongue flicked at my opening, my fingers kneading into the comforter.
“Yes. Yes. Okay, you win…please, Lennox.”
Strangely, I could feel him grin against me before he spread me wider, his tongue flattening against me, slipping up from my core, discovering places I never had anyone touch, nor thought I wanted. I was wrong. Pleasure so unbearable consumed me, a cry echoed off the walls as he went from controlled to wild in a blink at my response. His hands held me as he devoured me, nipping, licking, his tongue diving deeper, curving me up like a cat to my hands and knees.
“Lennox!” Demand. Order. He understood everything I wanted in one word. Grabbing my hands, he curved them around the coffee table right in front of the bed. Positioning himself behind me, he gripped my hips before I felt the tip of him. He plunged inside me, my body greedy and ready.
I cried out. Loud, almost vibrating as my body adjusted to him. I loved how he filled me, how he felt. My fingers dug into the wood as he thrust into me, going so deep I stopped breathing.
“Fuuucck…Spencer,” he hissed, his vocals straining, pounding deeper.
“God…harder!” My skin burned, my need limitless. His hands bruised my hips as he gave me what I asked fo
r. I felt possessed, the intensity spinning everything from my head but sensation. Noise clipped my lungs and shredded any words that might have tried to come from my mouth into gibberish.
Bundling my locks in his fist, he yanked on them, shredding flames up my veins, my climax barreling toward me. Our movements became deeper and faster.
I bent farther over, which caused Lennox to swear, pounding in deeper. “Fuck, Spencer…I’m gonna come.” He let go of my hair, his hand coming around, rubbing me. I heard myself scream, but didn’t recall actually doing it, his touch plunging me over the cliff, my body gripping him like it never wanted to let go. I heard a roar shake the room. He slammed in so hard my eyes watered, my body only clamping down harder on him. He bellowed again, emptying himself in me, searing and claiming.
I left my body, like floating in a night sky.
His body pressed into mine, and our heavy breaths knocked into each other.
It took a few moments to come back to myself, to feel my feet tether back to the earth. Sex was always fun and enjoyable, but this…holy hell.
“Jesus.” Lennox’s forehead pressed into my back while he gulped for air, his lips softly kissing my spine. “I think I went blind.”
I still couldn’t move, the intensity of it all leaving me speechless.
“Hey, you all right?” Lennox rumbled in my ear, his breaths still heavy and frantic. He pulled out, my body instantly wanting him back. “You’re trembling.”
I took another deep breath, unhinging my grip on the coffee table, my nails leaving small indentions in the wood. Lennox pulled me back into his warm body.
“I think you shattered me.” I fell back into him with a laugh, his arms wrapping around me.
He nuzzled against my ear. “So you’re admitting defeat, then? That was easy. Didn’t think you’d crumble so fast.”
“Ohhhh.” He knew exactly what to say to rally me. Challenge me. My lids narrowed, curving my head to look up at him. “I know how fragile male egos are. I wanted you to feel better about yourself.” I pulled away, flopping back on the pillow, my gaze running over his body. Bruises, bite marks, and scratches over his skin like a calling card. Mine.
Royal Command (Royal Watch Book 2) Page 20
