“And there was where our problem lay. I didn’t care. Not when it came to you.”
“I was young, scared, and chose what I thought was best for my child and me.”
“But not for my child and me?” he seethed.
“Will, you can’t tell anyone,” she whispered. “Landen will never understand. He will hate me. Hate you. Please, I beg you. It will destroy Fredrick and Landen’s relationship. Destroy our family.”
William snorted, pacing around in a circle.
“Nothing good will come out of him knowing. Not now. Please, don’t hurt him out of spite. I beg you.”
A heartbreaking noise came from William, his hand running over his face. “Twenty years since you walked away from me, but you still control my life, my thoughts, my actions. Everything I do is still about you.” His back curved; he looked broken and gutted. “Even in hate, even trying to tear your life apart, my life centers around you.”
“Tear me apart if you must. But leave Landen out of it.”
“He’s my son, Ren. I could have been a father to him. A husband to you. We could have been happy.”
Lauren’s head bowed, a tear sliding down her face.
“Tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Did you ever really love me?” Raw and vulnerable, he laid his feelings out for her to crush.
Aunt Lauren brushed a tear away, turning her head to the side, not saying anything.
His Adam’s apple bobbed, agony twisting his features before he nodded. “I see.” He started to head for the exit. Lauren whirled around, staring at his back.
“I did,” she whispered, her declaration stopping him. He kept his back to her, not speaking. “I loved you more than anything. It’s never changed, Will. I chose what was best for everyone. What was right. My duty. My life had already been set out for me, promised to Fredrick. But there hasn’t been one day I haven’t thought about you. About us. What could have been. And there will be a huge part of me that will always regret not following my heart. But I did what I had to.”
A wretched noise came from Lord William, his head dropping forward as if she shattered everything inside him. His shoulders stayed curled for a minute, then he lifted his head, a deep defeated sigh escaping his mouth, and without a word or look back, he strode out.
A sob hiccupped from Aunt Lauren as she watched him leave. Even I could feel him close the final chapter on them. They had finally confessed their true feelings, but sadly it changed nothing, coming too late.
I had no idea if hearing her declaration helped or hurt him more, knowing the what-ifs and possibilities if they had ignored society and just followed their hearts. Lord William and my aunt may have turned out to be completely different people. Happy. Instead, they lived bitter, shallow, and miserable lives.
Tearfully, Aunt Lauren spun around and ran out of the room the opposite way, choking on her sobs, leaving me gutted and heartbroken for them.
I hated Lord William, but watching this slightly altered my view, seeing why he became the man he did. And my aunt had always been superficial and cold, but now I realized it was the only way she learned to survive, putting on her mask to get through each day, focusing on things that deep down she knew meant nothing.
Lennox’s touch turned me around, my arms wrapping around him. I couldn’t speak, but I felt he knew what I was saying.
I had seen my future if I chose Theo. The life that would keep everyone else happy would actually be steeped in lies, ugliness, and misery for the very same people I was trying to protect.
If choosing myself and happiness made me selfish in the eyes of the world, I had to take that on.
I didn’t want to be Aunt Lauren.
I couldn’t live like that.
Chapter 22
Knowing I would be missed, I headed back to the party, Lennox keeping his distance, trailing far behind. The doors opened for me to saunter back in. Like walking through cobwebs, a strange prickle skated down my skin. A sixth sense tapped at the base of my neck, telling me something was wrong. Off.
Strolling slowly, I scanned the room, noticing many staring down at their mobiles, their eyes then glancing up to me. Fiery hot pokers rammed into my body from all corners of the room.
My tongue slipped over my dry lips, my heart picking up speed as more and more people’s notice fell upon me. Shocked, horrified, disgusted, and incited, their expressions jumbled together as adrenaline pierced my veins, hammering at my pulse. Their eyes fastened me to the floor. The music was just a hum in the background as chatter and gasps filled the large room, bouncing off the walls and ceiling and spearing right through me. Activity stopped as guests showed their phones to others.
What was going on? Why was everyone staring at me?
I searched for Theo, finding him near his parents, looking down at his cell phone. As if he could feel my stare, his head jerked up, his lids narrowing, hate flaring his nose.
“Tramp!” A woman’s voice came from deep in the crowd, jolting me around, my breath bursting heavily from my lungs as sounds filled the vast room, cutting through my chest.
Distant and muffled, but clear enough to hear, a man’s voice came from the cell speakers.
Moans and mutterings.
And then…
“Spencer…bloody hell. I’m about to come. Stop now if…” A few beats of mumbled sounds. Then a deep groan mixed with a swear word bellowed from the speakers, dropping realization and terror on me like a brick. The familiarity of the intimate moment, the words spoken, flashed the fresh memory of yesterday in my mind.
The world stopped.
Bile scorched up my throat, drowning me as the blood rushed to my ears, spinning my head. Oh. God. No. This can’t be happening.
We were alone. Private property. Paparazzi weren’t allowed anywhere near it. There should have been no way they could have caught us. And no one knew we were there…
Except.
Fecking hell.
Katy.
Would she do this?
There were unintelligible mutters before you heard a girl’s gradual wails ring through, dripping with passion and release.
“Oh god… Fuck. Lennox.”
I stood frozen, paralyzed to the spot, being burned alive with condemnation. My breath fluttered and heaved from my chest, panic whirling my head, dipping my legs.
I noticed the King whispering something to Dalton, rushing him off. In seconds, the sounds of sex stopped. Guests murmured, tapping madly at their cells, trying to refresh.
“All internet services have been shut off, and the use of mobiles will be strictly prohibited from here on out.” Alexander’s voice boomed in the room, snapping every head to him. “Whoever made this fabricated video will be found and dealt with. But the topic and matter of it end now. Everyone in this room is above spreading gossip and lies about such grotesque and blatantly false footage trying to hurt my family.” The King’s eyes drilled into the guests, daring them to contradict him. “Please carry on and enjoy the evening as if this never happened. We are above such vile tricks for headlines.” He swished his hand at the orchestra, which instantly filled the room with jubilant Christmas carols as a dozen ballerinas swirled onto the main floor, performing like dangling shiny objects intended to distract the guests.
From across the room, I felt the King’s attention stick into me like a knife, his glower shredding me apart. Going over my shoulder, he found someone else, the tiniest flick of his head screamed his demand before he exited the room, trailed by a stone-faced Theo. He wouldn’t even glance back at me, a nerve twitching at his temple.
Fuck.
Sweat pooled at the base of my spine and neck, stealing all the moisture from my mouth. My heart thumped, trying to push out of my chest, my limbs shaking as I took a step to follow. I forced my head to stay up as glares and mumblings whirled around me. Humiliation buried me as I walked across the room like I was about to be condemned, their gazes painting me with a scarlet A.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted my family, their expressions contorted with horror and fear. My mother gripped my father as if she already sensed the secure ground, which she had put all her belief on, was cracking and breaking under her feet. Not able to look at them, I rolled my shoulders back, holding my chin up, and strode for the door.
I had survived a real bombing, but the metaphorical one might be the one that destroys me.
Acid foamed up the back of my throat as I stepped into the King’s office. Alexander stood behind his desk, Theo to the side, while Dalton and two guards secured the doors on either side of the room. Lennox hung a few steps back, still following the rules of a bodyguard, though I knew there was no point now.
The King stayed silent, his head bowed, his fingers pinching his nose. Heavy tension dipped the back of my knees, forcing my teeth to grit together to hold myself up. Keeping my face blank and my head up, I hid my fear under my veneer.
“Is the video real?” He finally spoke, his voice low and dangerous, his glare leaping between Lennox and me. To hear it was one thing, but I knew everyone was privy to the most intimate moments between us. The King, my father…they all had seen it.
My throat locked up, not letting sound exit my mouth.
“Yes, Majesty,” Lennox replied unemotionally.
Red dots rose on the King’s cheeks, anger flaring his nose. “You stupid girl,” he snarled at me. “I warned you. Cautioned you about what would happen. And still, you couldn’t keep your legs closed.”
A threatening rumble came from Lennox behind me.
“Wait.” Theo’s entire frame twisted to his father. “You knew about this?”
“I am King. There isn’t anything I don’t know about.”
Theo’s mouth parted. “When?”
“At my birthday.”
“You mean before I proposed to her?” Theo exclaimed. “And you still let me?”
“I tried to stop you. Everyone tried. But you were dead set on her. Wouldn’t listen to any of us. I thought warning her was enough to either end it or set her right.”
“So…it didn’t matter if my fiancée was cheating on me as long as it didn’t cause a scandal?” Theo’s fists rolled into balls, anger coloring his face.
“Of course it matters, but our reputation is everything, Theo. Without it, we lose respect. Respect equals power. We deal with our private matters secretly and with care. Especially affairs,” Alexander shot back. “But don’t suddenly act the fool. You couldn’t be that naive and blind.”
My stomach flipped around like a carnival ride. I half expected Theo to throw me under the bus and deny he had any idea. He could have, and I wouldn’t even have fought it.
“Did you know?”
“Yes, sir.” Theo shuffled his feet.
Alexander dipped his head, spearing his son with his disappointment. “You will be the king someday. How do you think the commoners will look at you, realizing you knew your fiancée was having an affair with her bodyguard, and you allowed it to happen? Will you appear weak or strong?”
Theo bowed his head.
“Answer me!” His voice rose, fury bustling under the seams.
“Weak!” Theo shouted back.
“You also had to be aware the media could discover this at any time, exposing our family to this vulgar scandal!” Anger broke free from the King, his fist smashing on his desk. “I warned you, Theo! I told you what kind of girl she was. You should have gone straight to the PR, let them handle this!”
“We were going to. Right after the holidays.” Theo’s cheeks were rosy with humiliation. “I was trying to protect us since we just got engaged. I wanted to wait before we broke the news.”
“How did that work out for you?” Alexander spat, his glare finding me. “Since they have no regard for anyone but themselves. Fornicating for all the world to see!” Alexander’s fury shot through me like a gunshot.
It wasn’t out for everyone to see. We were on secured private property, surrounded by acres of land. I knew perfectly well who sold us out—a bitter ex-lover who wanted to hurt Lennox and shred me. I never imagined Katy being that type of person but never doubt the level a scorned lover will stoop to.
“You were the worst choice my son could have made. Your family is a disgrace and an embarrassment to have linked to our name. I hoped he’d come to his senses and end it with you before he stupidly proposed. I should have followed my gut. But I believed you at least loved and respected my son enough. You agreed to marry him knowing there wasn’t an exit once you decided, yet you still threatened our reputation and everything this family has built because you are a whore.”
Lennox lurched forward, the King’s man leaping on him instantly, drawing him back.
“And you…” Alexander sneered, coming from around the desk. “My son vouched for you. He praised you and pleaded with me to hire you—to help your family, your poor wife in a coma…and this is how you repay him? Me?” The King got into his face, his guard grunting with the effort to keep Lennox contained, but I knew Lennox wasn’t even trying to break free. “You’re nothing but a lowly con artist who used the generosity of the royal family and Theo’s kind heart. You are not just done here with no severance package or recommendation, but you will be dishonorably discharged from military service, stripped of all titles, medals, and ranking. You will have nothing but a black stain on your record. Unhireable. No one will touch you.”
“What?” I gaped, my stomach plunging to the ground. Lennox risked his life for country and crown, gave up everything, worked and earned respect from his troops and higher commanders. And now because of me, he was being stripped of all that made him—him. His sacrifice, heartache, grief, loss of friends…all for nothing? “No. You can’t do that.”
Lennox’s jaw locked down, his eyes going past the King, not responding.
“Vile dogs like you don’t have loyalty. They can’t be trusted and should be put down.”
Lennox sucked in sharply, a twitch in his cheek throbbing with effort. Years of training kept him in place, not rising to the bait.
The lack of response made the King’s shoulders pinch back, his head lifting in ire. “Now get out of my palace. You are banned from ever setting foot near here or this family again. I will have you court-martialed if I even get wind of your presence.”
My brain still trying to catch up with everything, I peered over at Theo to plead with him, but found his expression void of emotion, watching his old friend be exiled from his own life. “Theo?”
His gaze snapped to mine. “He got what was coming to him.”
“He saved your life!” Didn’t that count for anything?
“He shouldn’t have gone after my girlfriend.”
“That’s not how it happened.”
“Right, you easily opened your legs for him too.” His anger was turning him bitter and cruel. “You deserve to live without our protection…the media and public will tear you apart, Spencer. It’s what you deserve.”
I gulped back a sob in my throat. I wanted to protest, to scream and yell and fight for Lennox and me. The only wrong we did was fall in love. But there was no combating a king and a prince. They held all the power, and at the end of the day, Theo would always have held that card over my head. How long into our marriage would he have started using it?
The cheeky, happy guy I met at school was now this—the monster I created.
The King swung to me. “You and your family will depart the premises immediately and are never allowed near us or any noble circle. I have a huge mess to clean up, but I think there is no question my son’s proposal has been nullified. We will have a statement going out in the morning about how in light of things, you and my son think it is better to end things now. Our PR team will bury this as much as we can. Not for you, of course, but for our own reputation. Whatever we say, you will agree with. Non-disclosure agreements will be signed, and if you are seen giving any interviews or talking about us to anyone, you will be arrested for se
dition. Now, Dalton, see that they are thrown out and never allowed back in again.”
Shock kept my heels in place as hands came down on my shoulders, shoving me for the door. My gaze ran to Theo again, trying to find some kindness, but none was left. And I almost couldn’t blame him. What he knew in private was enough, but my deceitfulness was out for the world to see.
Dalton grabbed Lennox’s arm.
“I can escort myself.” Lennox thrashed against Dalton’s hold, his expression stretched with tension and fury. “I go willingly. All I want is what I came in with anyway,” he snarled at the King, his gaze sliding quickly to me.
“Dalton, make sure they are seen out.” The King glared back, a slight smirk on his features. “Also, this footage was taken on our private property; find who did it and see to it. We cannot have leaks coming from our own people. This is treason.”
Did Katy, in her jealousy, realize what she did? The contracts she had to sign to be hired on…it was a serious thing. I wanted so badly to spill her name but stayed quiet. Let them find the culprit and deal with her. I was not going to tattle.
“Yes, sir.” Doing his duty, Dalton bowed his head, seizing Lennox’s arms behind his back, shoving him toward the door. Another guard wrapped his fingers around my bicep, clamping down, yanking me roughly to the door.
Theo looked up, his mask all anger, but pain flickered in his eyes as he watched me being dragged out.
“I will always regret the pain and embarrassment I caused you. I wish I could change it. But just know I did love you, Theo.”
“Not enough.” His voice cracked. “Goodbye, Spencer.”
“Goodbye, Theo.” I blinked back my tears, knowing I would probably never see or talk to him again. Our friendship and giggly first love had turned to ash.
By falling in love, I destroyed everything in my path, burning it in my wake.
“Fuckin’ let go of me,” Lennox snapped, trying to wiggle away from Dalton as the guards moved us down the corridor.
“Dammit, Lennox. Calm down. Stop fighting me,” Dalton growled, peering back behind him to the King’s door, guiding us toward the back exit. The moment we were far enough away, his demeanor shifted, his shoulders relaxing, loosening his hold on him. “Let her go,” he instructed the guard holding me.
Royal Command (Royal Watch Book 2) Page 25
