by Terry Tyler
Harley clapped his hands. "Hurray! I love Max and Sam! Mummy, ring him up and tell him to hurry up and be here!"
Dave felt worse again, immediately.
He didn't mind Janice thinking of Max as a father figure - at least, he didn't mind too much - but he certainly didn't want Harley to think of him as one, too.
That was a different matter, entirely.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Just when he'd thought things couldn't get any worse, right?
Ariel was going away.
Five minutes before Max Stark and his famous dog were due to arrive at Harley's birthday party, Dave left. He hated leaving so early, but he didn't think he could face seeing Max Stark there, acting as if he owned Janice, no doubt, and probably being welcomed by Janice's mother, with all the protectiveness of one who wanted to see her only daughter 'nicely settled'. He headed off to The Bandstand. Ariel usually worked on Wednesday nights; it was darts night, and Shane's Uncle Vic liked her to do that shift because all the men fancied her; it was good for business, he said.
Dave needed to see her.
But that night, she wasn't there.
"Taken a few days off, Dave, mate," Vic told him. "Gone down to London to see some old friends. I'm surprised she didn't mention it."
So was Dave. He texted her immediately. Hey, stranger! Why didn't you mention you were going to London? When are you coming back? Love you, D x
He stood at the bar and had one pint, the only one he could have, as he was driving. He made it last for a whole half hour, exchanging words he couldn't remember with people he hardly looked at, before Ariel deigned to reply.
Sorry, spur of the moment thing. Back Friday night. Text then x
No explanation. Nothing. However spur of the moment it was, she could have told him, couldn't she? She'd sat on a train for two bloody hours and she couldn't even spare a moment to text him.
She didn't contact him again until Friday evening, at about six; he could meet her off the train, if he liked, she said.
"Let's go for a drink," she said, pulling out of his arms. She seemed pleased to see him, but he knew, he just knew, that trouble was brewing, and he was damn sure it was going to be in the shape of that slippery snake Will Corrigan.
They went to the bar of a hotel opposite the station.
"Okay," he said, putting his pint and her white wine on the table. "Let's have it, then. Where have you really been and what have you got to tell me?" He hoped he sounded more self-assured than he felt.
"I was staying with Emily," she said, "but it wasn't just a social visit."
"No? Did you see that Will bloke when you were down there?"
"I did, yes."
He knew it! His instincts were always right, weren't they? When he had a bad feeling, it was always for a good reason, wasn't it?
He looked at her. "Did you sleep with him?"
She laughed. She actually laughed. "That wasn't the reason I saw him. God, why are you men's minds always in your trousers?"
He believed her; that was something, anyway.
"Go on, then, tell me what this is all about."
She stopped smiling, then, and took a sip of her wine. "I'm going away, Dave."
Dave felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. He hadn't expected that. He hadn't expected anything quite that bad at all. "Going away? Where? When will you be back?"
"Later in the year. Autumn. For a visit. I haven't made any definite plans. I don't know if I'll be coming back here, or staying in London yet, or what."
"So where are you going?"
She took a deep breath. "I'm going to work on a cruise ship. Singing. Playing my guitar, doing my stuff. That's where I went, on Thursday, for my audition. I was there for most of the day. That's why I've been in touch with Will; it's what he does, you see. He told me about this agency who find him work called Oceanwide Entertainment. He said it's a great life; you get paid for doing what you love best, and you're meeting all sorts of people, and travelling all over." She smiled, then, and leaned forward. "The interview-stroke-audition went even better than I'd thought it would - they loved me, and they rang me by the end of the day to tell me I was in. It was great! I don't know why I didn't think of it before! I can do the two things I love more than anything - seeing the world, and playing my music."
"Yes." Dave breathed out long and hard. "Yeah, I can see that. I don't blame you." He looked at her bright, sparkling eyes, and that beautiful smiling mouth that he always needed to kiss, would always need to kiss, and he wanted to hold her to him, tie her to him, so she would never, ever leave him. "I don't think I can bear the thought of you going, that's all," he said.
She reached out and held his hand. "I'm sorry, Dave. I knew you'd take it badly. But I can't stay here - that talent show was the last straw." She drank some more wine, and turned to look at him. "I'm fed up with gigs in pubs. Do you remember nutty Glynis Tooke's Creative Workshop thing? That was the penultimate straw, I can tell you; they could hardly even be bothered to clap me. It was the only gig I've done since I've been back here, and they couldn't wait for me to finish. I'm never going to make it, Dave. Hardly anyone does, and I've faced up to it, now; I haven't got that ingredient 'x' to get me plucked from the crowd. I'm not bad, though - well, I'm good enough to entertain people in one of the smaller rooms on a cruise ship, apparently, and that's why Oceanwide Entertainment are taking me on. I'm one of the lucky ones; I can see my own limitations, and I've found a way of doing what I love and getting paid for it, because I don't have any responsibilities. That's all."
No, she had no responsibilities. Not even to him.
"I thought we were going to reach for the stars," said Dave, but even as he said it he knew he sounded foolish.
"You can if you like," she said, a tad harshly, he thought, "but I've got a life to live and a living to earn."
He picked up her hand and kissed it. "I could come with you. I could get a job as a barman, maybe get to play guitar with one of the bands, or something - "
"And leave Harley?" Ariel said.
He sank back into his seat. "No. No, of course not." Not after all he'd promised himself, on the night of Harley's birthday. "So when are you going?"
"Not just yet," she said. "I don't want to let Vic down until he's found someone to take my place, and I want to spend a bit more time with Dad."
"And me?"
She moved closer to him and put her arms around his waist. "Of course you. Mostly you." She tilted her face up to look at him. "I will miss you, you know."
"I thought you loved me," Dave said.
"I do."
"Yeah, but not in the way I love you, or you couldn't leave me."
She put her head on his shoulder. "I feel a lot more for you than you realise, you know."
"Yes. It's okay, I understand." He pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head. "So how long have I got with you, then?"
"Oh, three weeks, a month or so," she said. "My first placing won't be until April, but I'm going to go down and stay in London for a few weeks before that; it's easier, I'll be near all the places I need to be - I've got to have a medical, stuff like that, and rehearse."
"Where will you be staying?"
"With Emily. That was one of the things I wanted to sort out with her. She's getting me some waitressing work in a restaurant owned by a friend of hers, so I'll have the days free to get things sorted."
"And you'll be seeing Will, won't you?"
She pulled away from him. "Yes, obviously, as he's going to be on the same cruise ship as I am! Dave, that isn't what this is about. It's about what I'm doing with my life."
"Yeah."
Dave knew, though, somehow, that Will Corrigan was going to be his successor. Maybe even Ariel didn't realise it yet, but he did. And he was pretty sure Will fucking smart-arse Corrigan did, too.
***
Janice Brown felt as though she'd been plucked from her normal, not particularly interesting life, and been grant
ed three wishes.
She was deliriously happy, happier even than she'd been back with Dave, back in the early years, because this time she didn't have the constant niggling worries in the back of her mind. Even when she and Dave had been newly in love, there had always been that little flutter of panic in her stomach; panic that she wouldn't be able to hold him forever, that one day he would not love her as much as he did right then. That one day he'd find another Alison Swan. She laughed about that, now; she hadn't expected it to be the Alison Swan.
Even when Harley was born and Dave appeared to have rejected his previously rock 'n' roll lifestyle without complaint, that fluttery panicky thing was still forever present; would he tire of cosy domesticity in time? And once the band stuff had started up - during the Critical Mass days, and now with Thor - those flutters got worse; it was horrible never knowing the exact whereabouts of the person you loved, never being sure exactly what it was they were doing, thinking, wanting.
Some people could live like that, and just let the other person get on with it - her friend Carolyn, for instance, was now involved with some young chap who only seemed to call on her when he was broke or needed somewhere to sleep, and Carolyn seemed quite okay with this - but that lifestyle wasn't for Janice. She needed to know that her world was stable, secure, not built on foundations of idealism and forlorn hope.
Maybe Max Stark wouldn't have been right for her when she was younger, but he was now. She knew she was the centre of his life, and she loved being so. Everything he did, all the plans he made, took her into consideration - no, better than that, they made her a priority. He was fun, too, great company, sociable, always thinking of new things for the three of them to do. He'd taken Harley to more places in a just a few weeks than Dave had in a year.
Max suggested taking her mother and Graham out for dinner, and he got on so well with both of them; this made her laugh, too. He was nearer their age than hers! More importantly than anything, it was he who suggested they go to see Evelyn together, at least once a week.
"That's not the same one," Evelyn had said, the first time Janice introduced Max to her.
"No, he's a different one," said Janice, and smiled at Max.
"Is he the one with the little boy?" Evelyn asked.
"No, Gran, that was Dave. Harley's with him, at the moment. He's spending the day with him. Dave will still come and see you, but we're not together anymore. I'm with Max, now."
"Oh," said Evelyn, disinterestedly. She looked out of the window. "Is he going to take me home?"
"You've got a nice home here, Mrs Brown," Max said to her. "There's a lovely view out of the window, isn't there?"
"I've got to go home," Evelyn said, not to anyone in particular. "They'll be wondering where I am."
"It's all right, Gran," Janice said. "We know where you are. Me and mum. Your Linda."
"Oh yes, Linda. She never comes to see me anymore."
Janice raised her eyebrows at Max. "Gran, she came to see you this morning."
"Did she?"
"Yes. And she'll come again tomorrow; she comes to see you every day, doesn't she?"
Evelyn stuck out her bottom lip. "If you say so." Then she looked up at Max and Janice. "Are you married?"
Janice felt herself go pink "We're not, no. We haven't been together very long. I've worked for Max for ages - you know, I've told you about the café where I work. Max owns it. But we've only been, well, a couple, for a little while."
"Oh." She looked down at her hands. "I'm married. My husband never comes to see me."
For a moment, she looked so sad, not belligerent like she usually did. Janice couldn't help it. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. She leant forward and took her grandmother's hands in hers. "Granny, Grandpa died twenty years ago."
"Oh yes. Yes, of course he did." She frowned. "I don't know why I get so confused."
Janice put her arms around her frail shoulders. "I know."
"What was he like, your husband?" Max asked.
Evelyn wrinkled up her nose. "Bit of a moany old git, sometimes."
Janice laughed. "Gran, he was lovely! He did moan a lot, though, I'll give you that! But I loved him when I was a little girl. Come on, shall we get the photos out, and show Max?"
When they got up to leave, half an hour later, Evelyn caught hold of Max's sleeve. "You ought to get married, you know. It's better when people are married."
Max bent over and kissed her on the cheek. "Yes, you're right, it is."
They smiled at each other, and Janice, watching them, saw once again that flicker in her grandmother's eyes; the real her that was still there, somewhere, and not yet lost forever to the dementia.
"You know," said Max, as they walked out to the car park, hand in hand, "she was right about it being better when people are married. What do you think?"
***
Dave couldn't help hoping that Ariel would change her mind, though every day it seemed less likely.
One day, she said to him, out of the blue, "do you think you'll end up back with Janice, when I've gone?"
Dave laughed. "I don't think so! She's seeing that Max, now, isn't she?"
Ariel gave a shrug. "I dunno. You've got a child together. That might take precedence over some new relationship."
He felt annoyed, as if she was trying to alleviate her guilt by suggesting an alternative set-up for him. "Would you mind?"
Another shrug. "I'm hardly in a position to do so, am I?"
Raw Talent aired, at last.
So much had happened since the auditions that it seemed a long time ago, now, Dave thought, though it was only a matter of weeks.
Shane's Uncle Vic had decided to make something of a night of it, and show the first one on the big screen in The Bandstand, which was usually reserved for the football - but Ariel and the members of Thor agreed that they wanted to watch it in a more private setting. They gathered together at Ariel's father's house, his being the only one that boasted Sky TV.
Shane turned up with Kerry, much to everyone's surprise.
"What's he brought her along for?" Ritchie said, when the couple were out in the kitchen making a cup of coffee.
"Perhaps because she's his girlfriend?" Boz said. "It's not a completely unheard of thing to do, man!"
"It's weird, though; she's not like his normal choice of girlfriend is she?" said Dave. "It's all a bit weird, full stop."
Ariel craned her neck to look at them, through the kitchen door. "She's pregnant," she said.
"What?" said Dave. "How do you know that?"
"Just fat, if you ask me," said Ritchie.
"She is," said Ariel. "Women notice these things. Her tits are bigger than they were when I first saw her, and it's the way her stomach sticks out - she hasn't got fatter all over."
Boz laughed. "And she always drinks soft drinks, have you noticed? Well, bugger me, who'd have thought our Shane would get caught, eh?"
"Stupid bastard," said Ritchie.
"It explains everything," said Ariel. "Shane! Hurry up, the programme's about to start!"
The first edition of the programme was two hours long; the first half showing the auditions at which they'd all been present. During Thor's performance of 'Stampede', Shane's uncle Vic rang him from the pub so that they could hear everyone cheering them.
"We're canny, aren't we?" said Boz. "I hadn't realised how good we are!"
The second performance, the one that got them rejected, was not shown, though there was a camera shot of them all looking tired and fed up, arms folded, in the holding room, then one of Shane chatting to the Bon Jovi girl, all flirtatious smiles, which earned him a slap on the arm from Kerry.
"What was her name, again?" said Boz, winking at Ariel.
"Cecilia, wasn't it?" said Ariel.
"Cecilia, you're breaking my heart," sang Dave.
Kerry glared at him. "You told me her name was Mandy!"
"That's so you won't find her number when you look through his phone when he's asleep," said R
itchie.
Kerry glared at Ritchie, and stormed out of the room.
"Thanks a fucking bunch, all of you," said Shane, and dashed off after her.
"I feel bad, now," said Dave. "I only meant to rag him; I wasn't thinking."
"Aye, he's got his hands full with that one," said Boz.
"It's the child I feel sorry for," said Ariel. "What was she thinking of, getting pregnant by a bloke like Shane?"
"He's made his bed, serves him right," said Ritchie. "Hey - look! Ariel, it's you!"
Ariel watched herself; it felt strange. She liked what she saw, though. Maybe she should have looked at the camera more. She could see why she hadn't been chosen, now.
This was reiterated to all of them once Melodie flashed onto their screens. Her voice came over much better than any of them had expected, but, most of all, she sang the song to Glenn Hunter as if he was the only man in the world, as if she really, truly was crazy for him.
"Yeah, but she still didn't write the song herself," said Ritchie, after they'd all finished saying how good she was. "And she still can't play any instruments or read music."
"She doesn't need to," said Boz, looking at the screen somewhat wistfully, as the camera followed her walking down the corridor.
"And you remember what they said about your voice being your instrument," said Ariel.
"Oh, that's the other one you fancy, isn't it?" said Kerry, walking back into the room, with reddened eyes. She was followed by Shane, who looked drained and tired.
"Put a sock in it, love," said Shane, wearily. He put his arm around her. "I'm with you now, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but for how long?" Dave whispered to Ariel.
Next up was the first live show, and they watched Melodie perform to the studio audience for the first time. The reaction was extremely enthusiastic, as was that of the judges.
"Looks like we all got it wrong," said Ariel, after the show ended. "Perhaps if you put your desire for fame above all else, you're more likely to make it, these days."
"Aye, it shouldn't be like that, but maybe it is, to some extent," said Boz. "It's one of the reasons I see myself as a jobbing drummer, not a rock star."
