“Sounds like a dumb story.” Garret laughed. “If you’re going to make promises, look someone in the eye and shake their hand or something.”
Denae giggled. “People in romance novels do not shake hands, silly. The promises are sealed with swoon-worthy kisses. At least, if the heroine is awake. That part of the story kind of bothered me, because he pretended he hadn’t said anything for like half the book, and she pretended she hadn’t heard for just as long. It didn’t seem realistic to me as a plot device for keeping them apart, but the author disagreed with me.”
“Well, if they’re not ready for the kiss of death — I mean kiss of promise — then they should at least high-five on it. Right, Carmichael?”
James closed his eyes as his head fizzed and his limbs grew weak. No. Stinking. Way. How could Garret go there?
“High five?” Denae giggled. “That’s hilarious, Garret. That never happens in romance novels.”
“Then they’re not like real life, I guess.”
“Yeah, right. Name me one time that would even make sense in real life. Remember, we’re talking about two adults who really care about each other, not two ten-year-olds.”
The sound of an overturning log yanked James’s eyes open as Lauren surged out of the circle. James jolted to his feet.
Denae and Tori both cast confused frowns in his direction, but Garret grinned at him.
“Thanks, buddy,” James ground out. “Thanks a lot.”
Garret winked. “Opportunity, meet golden platter.”
“I don’t think so.”
“What on earth is going on?” asked Denae.
“Back in high—”
“Shut up, Morrison. Just shut up.” James followed Lauren down the trail. Why couldn’t there be a full moon tonight? She’d vanished into the long shadows among the trees. “Lauren?”
Silence.
Oh, man. What was he going to say when he found her? He’d better think of something quickly, because none of the scenarios he’d played out in his imagination had been anything like this one. This was reality. This was here. Now.
“Lauren?”
If his ears hadn’t been super-tuned to the night sounds, he wouldn’t have caught the sniffle or the crack of a twig over to his right. He moved in her direction. “Lauren, I—”
“Go away, James.” Her voice was flat. Completely devoid of emotion.
“No, I think maybe we should talk.”
“What, so Garret can have some fun with it? Nothing I like more than to be laughed at.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“Oh? What other explanation is there?”
“Kade said something the other day about... about it, and Garret clued in. He probably thought he was being helpful.”
“Yay.”
Her voice was not yay. “Lauren, I’ve been thinking about that night. We did make a promise to each other. And look at us, we’re both still single. I never thought that would happen, did you?”
Silence.
“I admit I always hoped it would, but I nearly lost faith when you dated that guy in college. And then—”
“James?”
His heart skipped a beat. “Yes?”
“Shut up.”
“Shut... what?” Since when did a guy start baring his soul to the woman he loved, and she told him to stuff it?
“Forget about it. We were kids. I’m sure we’re well past the statute of limitations for stupid things said in childhood.”
“Childhood? We were sixteen, Lauren. Not exactly infants.”
“Old enough to know better. You’re right... which changes nothing. I let you off the hook, and you do the same for me. Find some nice girl to marry, why don’t you?”
But he didn’t have time to wonder at the tone of her voice. Not when they finally acknowledged memory of that night — compliments of Garret — and she basically told him, “thanks, but no thanks.” He’d dreamed of telling her how he’d waited for her all these years, how he loved her, always had, and she’d step into his arms. He’d kiss the smile right off her face.
Her elbow stabbed his ribs as she strode past him, but he caught her arm. “Lauren, wait. Please.”
“Are you kidding me?” She jerked her arm free and stared up at him, her face in the deep shadows. “I’m not a pity project, James Carmichael. I wasn’t one fourteen years ago, and I’m not now. I happen to like my life the way it is. I keep crazy hours as a vet, and I find my work very fulfilling. I don’t need you or anyone else coming along to rescue me.”
“Res-rescue you?” Why couldn’t his brain catch up? He rocked back on his heels as she brushed past him. “Lauren...”
But she was gone.
Chapter Thirteen
Lauren slipped into the tent long after the camp had settled, sliding the zipper as quietly as she could.
“Lauren? You okay?” whispered Tori.
Did she have to answer? Why couldn’t her friends be asleep? She stifled a groan.
“Garret told us what happened. He feels super bad about it.”
He should. She’d like to deck him with a two-by-four. Garret... or maybe James. Or both. All men, everywhere.
“Did you and James kiss and make up?” whispered Denae eagerly. “Will you be married before your birthday to keep your pledge?”
Both of them were awake? Great. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Lauren stripped off her jeans and fumbled in her backpack for her sweats.
Tori’s sleeping bag rustled. “My brother bungled things, right?”
Hadn’t Lauren just said she didn’t want to explain? She felt around for her fuzzy socks and tugged them on then slid into her down bag.
“He did, didn’t he? Men can be so obtuse.”
“This is like the black moment in a romance story, when all hope is lost.” Denae’s voice rose a little. “In the morning, everything will look better. He’ll come to his senses, kiss you passionately, and you’ll live happily ever after.”
Lauren couldn’t help the snort that erupted. “Real life isn’t like your stupid books. Sometimes when everything goes wrong, it means that everything went wrong. The end. Besides, I don’t want to get married. Not to James, not to anyone.”
“You don’t?” whispered Tori. “I keep catching you and James watching each other, and I was pretty sure that, one of these days, you’d both realize you were in lo—”
“We’re not in love,” hissed Lauren. “Get this stupidity out of your mind.” Wait. Had she just called both her best friends stupid? She was the moron. Lauren pulled a sigh from the depths of her soul. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you two. But can we just drop the subject? Please?”
There was silence for just long enough that Lauren hoped they agreed. But, no.
“I just have one question,” whispered Denae. “Is it true? That James promised to marry you if you were both single at thirty? That you high-fived on it as teens? Because that’s super awesome and, yes, swoon-worthy.”
“It’s not swoon-worthy. I don’t know how many ways to explain this. There’s nothing romantic about a high-five.”
“I’m not so sure. Like Tori said, James is always watching you.” Denae giggled. “Not in a creepy way. More... protective, I guess. Like he’d come unglued if you began dating someone else.”
Unglued? Ha. Right. “I’m not dating anyone else. Didn’t you hear me? I don’t want to get married. Not to anyone.” Why did she keep lying? Why did they push her to keep lying?
“That’s an idea,” came Tori’s voice. “We’ll set you up with someone else and see what happens. I bet Garret would play along. He really feels bad about blowing off the secret and putting you both on the spot.”
“Garret? Hmm. No, it should be some new guy to town. Tall, dark, handsome, and mysterious. A bit brooding, like Heathcliff or Mr. Darcy.”
If that didn’t fit James Carmichael to a tee, Lauren would eat her boots. He hadn’t always been this moody. There’d been a lot of laughte
r until the last year or two. She hadn’t known what to make of the gradual change in him. At first, she’d chalked it up to shouldering more responsibility as his dad’s situation became clear, that Bill Carmichael would never walk freely again. It was more than the specialists had expected that the man could get around as well as he did. But, as time had gone on, James’s despondence had only grown. It couldn’t all be about his father.
Could it be about her? What had he said, that he’d always hoped she’d still be single, so he could make good his pledge? Where was the love in all that? She’d dreamed of it, but he only felt he needed to keep a promise. No wonder he seemed to be depressed and avoiding her. It was the burden of feeling forced to marry her that weighed so heavily on him.
At least now she knew and had released him from his promise. She should sleep well tonight with that load relinquished. Ha. Right.
If only Garret hadn’t opened his mouth. There really was little James could have said right after that segue. But, if he actually loved her, why didn’t he say it? Would she believe him? Probably not. Thanks for nothing, Garret.
“...maybe Sawyer Delgado?”
Lauren’s thoughts riveted on Tori’s whisper. What? No. “Stop it. Sawyer’s an annoying kid. Besides, he’s married to the rodeo circuit. I have zero interest in him. Less than zero.”
“Yeah. I doubt he’d play along, plus we’d have to explain everything. I guess it has to be Garret. I think he’d do anything to make up for this.”
“Would you two quit meddling?” Lauren allowed her voice to show the irritation welling up in her. “I mean it. I’m not interested in dating.” Only James, who couldn’t do anything right. Only James, now lost to her forever after his dumb words. After Garret’s. After her own.
Everything in her longed to tiptoe over to the hammock way over by the hot pool and tell James she was wrong. She loved him, always had, she just hated being pushed. But the outcome her soul craved — the one with toe-curling kisses and murmured endearments and passionate caresses that would satisfy all her doubts — wouldn’t be there. He’d be all, “sure, yes. Let’s get married then. It’ll be great.”
Promise fulfilled.
She couldn’t bear it. Her soul was already shriveled into a quivering mess, but to be married to a man she desperately loved but who didn’t love her in return would squeeze the remaining life from her. She couldn’t do it.
“I think that’s a great idea. We’ll talk about it more when we get back to town.” Denae’s yawn punctuated her words. “At least, if I survive the return ride.”
And then there was all that physical pain to look forward to. Yay.
* * *
“I’m sorry, man.” Garret held Trudy back at the end of the entourage where James rode, the two packhorses plodding behind him.
On Friday, life had seemed full of promise. Birdsong trilled in the trees around them, the sun shone on their backs, and the fragrance of fir trees’ fresh, new growth filled the air with hope. James would be watching for a chance to tell Lauren how he felt.
Now? He’d rather knock Garret over the nearby cliff for all his interference. He’d been caught off guard and blundered everything. Why hadn’t he just gathered Lauren in his arms out there in the woods and kissed her? Maybe that would have convinced her, but she hadn’t given him a chance. She’d cut him off at every turn, pushed him forcibly away, and freed him from his promise.
He didn’t want to be freed, but he also didn’t want to marry her because of it. He wanted to marry her because he loved her. Why hadn’t he said those words? He’d kicked himself half the night for not laying his emotions on the line. For not making her listen. For not kissing her.
He’d had so much practice holding back it had become his default, and he’d fumbled the opening. The really ignorant, dumb opening offered by his ignorant, dumb friend who rode beside him now looking like someone had killed his puppy.
James heaved a sigh. “What’s done is done.”
“I should never have opened my big mouth.”
“Yup.”
“I’m really, really sorry.”
James closed his eyes for a brief moment as Jigsaw picked her way down the trail. Lauren, Tori, and Denae had disappeared around the next bend a few minutes ago. He did not want to have a heart-to-heart with Garret. He didn’t want to have one with anyone, not even God. “You mentioned that.” If Garret was looking for reassurance like, “it’s okay,” it’d be a long time coming.
“James...”
“Shut up, Morrison.” He said it casually, no recrimination. But the guy needed to catch a clue.
“Okay. So long as you know—”
“I know.”
Half an hour later they dismounted at the waterfall. The three horses were tied to some bushes, and the women were seated on rocks facing the thundering water. If that wasn’t a clear signal, James had never met one. He led the horses downstream to drink in a quiet pool.
When he returned to the clearing, Denae jumped up, opening a bag as she approached. “Lunch?”
He wasn’t really hungry. He might never be hungry again, but he supposed he could eat something. He looked in Denae’s bag then at her. “Pepperoni sticks?”
She nodded with a bright smile. “Low-fat. And cheese sticks, too. Plus, there are lots of broccoli florets and some energy bars.”
“Low-fat pepperoni.” Who knew there was such a thing. “Broccoli.”
Denae peered up at him. “Yes, one of my favorite lunches. Only the broccoli looks a little wimpy after a few days. Sorry about that.”
Maybe James had only thought he wasn’t hungry. Now that he’d seen the meager offerings, he was starving. If he tried really hard, could he get the previous mindset back? He reached into the bag, pulled out four meat sticks and two of cheese. When Denae’s eyebrows rose, he plucked out a small handful of broccoli. She was right. It had seen better days. He forced a smile. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She beamed at him then scurried back to Lauren and Tori.
Garret stared at the pepperoni in his hand. “Makes a guy wish he’d had more of Lauren’s pancakes at breakfast.” Then his face brightened. “I’ve got a bag of cheese puffs in my saddlebags. Plus, a package of gingersnap cookies.”
Denae glanced over her shoulder at them, and James made a show of popping the entire handful of broccoli in his mouth. He didn’t generally mind it... freshly cut and loaded with ranch dressing. Or roasted in a ton of olive oil. He got it swallowed and gave Denae a thumbs-up. She smiled and turned back to the creek.
“You’re a better man than I am,” muttered Garret as he flung his few florets into the dense brush with the skill of a pro ball player. He rummaged in the leather bag strapped behind his saddle.
James stripped the wrap off a pepperoni stick and chomped the thing down in three bites. He’d had worse. He couldn’t remember when, but it had to be true. Still, he wouldn’t turn down cheese puffs or cookies. Or his mother’s cooking tonight at supper.
* * *
From the evidence her furtive glances revealed, their... discussion... last night hadn’t dampened James’s appetite any. Lauren didn’t miss the bright orange bag passed back and forth between the two guys, but she wasn’t about to point it out to Denae. Then she’d have to explain why she was looking in the first place.
Not going to happen.
James had eaten his allotment of six pancakes and four sausages for breakfast, dousing the works in a thick layer of butter and maple syrup. She’d made the pancakes a little too large and thus managed to short herself, but two was plenty. It wasn’t like she was hungry, or ever would be again. Huh, in a year or two, she might even be as skinny as Denae. Not that she wanted to be, but getting rid of five or ten pounds would be okay.
She hated to admit it — and never would, out loud — but her friends had a point. The only way to banish James’s ghost from her mind and emotions was to prove she didn’t need him. Mom was always after her to give her short, curly
hair a bit more shape, and she could dig out her makeup and wear some occasionally. Buy a few new outfits that weren’t sweats. Go out with friends. Be vivacious. She’d once been the life of the party. She could do that again, right?
Life after James was going to look like everything she’d said was true. Like her life was full and complete and fulfilling. Because, by golly, it would be. She was only going to be thirty, not ninety. She had a lot of years left to go, and she was not going to spend them mourning the might-have-beens.
Any crying that needed to occur she’d do this week in the privacy of her own home. Then, look out world. The new Lauren would emerge like a phoenix from the ashes.
Now who sounded like she’d read too many novels? But no more romances for her.
Chapter Fourteen
The first guests of the summer season would arrive at the Flying Horseshoe tomorrow. Their chef, Ollie, had his camping trailer parked behind the restaurant, the kitchen was stocked for the grand reopening, and the staff hired. Two teens — one of them Pastor Roland’s son Matt — would be starting Saturday in the stables.
James could only be thankful he’d had to jump right into final preparations as soon as they’d returned from the trail ride a few days ago. The added benefit? The workload kept Tori off his back, since she was occupied with airing out the cottages and adding welcoming touches.
The florist van from Florabelle pulled up at Cabin Two just as he turned all the horses out into the nearest pasture, Rosebud dancing at Snowball’s heels. James tipped his hat at the driver, headed back into the stable, and grabbed a rake off the hook on his way by. Come Saturday, mucking out the stables would become the duty of the hired hands. Today it was still his.
Memories of Lauren assaulted him everywhere he turned. Snowball’s box, where they’d labored together to deliver Rosebud. Luna’s stall only reminded him of how strong and confident Lauren looked sitting on the black mare’s back. He started on Luna’s, raking the soiled straw into the alley, then splitting a fresh bale and kicking the flaps loose to form a clean bed.
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