by Kate Stewart
Rocked to the core by his cruelty, I stilled slightly.
As if sensing my hesitation, Daniello pulled his punishing cock out of me and turned me over to face him. His eyes were soulless, empty, void of any emotion, and I quickly understood.
This was the touch I was used to. The use of my body as a vessel for a greedy offender. This I understood. This I knew.
There was an instant recognition in his eyes, an unspoken agreement of submission on my part. I kept the damp panties in my mouth, tasting my arousal and moaning again as my hands drifted from the bed to clutch at his broad chest. He lifted my legs, anchoring me to him. This time, he entered me harder than the first. Every muscle in his form rippled in effect with his effort. The sparse hair on his chest led down to a perfectly toned stomach and defined abs. My eyes drifted to where we met, and I watched his hardness furiously fuck me while coated with my arousal.
Powerful thrusts encompassed my every limb as I held onto him tightly and crumbled a second time. He ripped the lace from my mouth as the orgasm hit and replaced it with his smooth tongue. I clung to him, desperate for relief in my burning muscles. I got none as he continued my punishment without words, only action.
Exhausted and spent, I watched him tax his anger, my drenched and pulsing pussy gripping him. A low growl erupted as he stiffened and gripped my head, pulled out, and coated my chest with his hot release. I gripped him hard as he spent the rest of himself, covering my bare breasts and neck. I collapsed back as the last of him pulsed onto me.
Thick air clouded the room as he left it, and the sound of the shower echoed through my bedroom.
I stood in front of my mirror and noted the long line of smeared mascara that marred my face. My body was covered in marks from angry fingertips, my backside a deep red. I ran my hand through the glistening on my chest and neck, opting to shower in my guest room.
Freshly showered and eager for sleep, I walked into the kitchen and noted a freshly corked whiskey bottle with a drained glass of ice next to it. I picked up the glass, slipping a piece of flavored ice into my mouth, knowing it was pointless to check my bedroom.
He was gone.
“You ever been kissed, Red?”
“No,” I snapped quickly at Laz, who was skipping stones across our pond.
I looked at him closely. In the last few years, he’d become my very best friend. We took turns mastering our own self-made bike trails and sneaking turnips off of the Jameson farm. We spent our nights fishing and swimming in the pond between our two houses. There hadn’t been one day that we weren’t side-by-side, aside from the time he had to head to Memphis for his aunt’s funeral.
We often went to Laz’s best friend Cedric’s house to practice shooting. Cedric liked to hunt and would fire off round after round with his rifle, while I used my father’s gun and was careful with my only box of bullets. Both boys seemed impressed with my ability to shoot, but Cedric was always quiet when I was around and looked at me as if I were interfering. It took a while for him to grow warm to me, but once he did, he would spend some of his summer with us.
“You can’t miss,” Cedric would note as he studied the target closely then study me. “You’re a marksmen.”
I felt a tremendous sense of pride when both boys agreed and smiled at me.
Cedric and I would lie on the grass, listening to crickets when Laz had to go home early. He would tell me about how he would be a soldier one day. How his father had been one and his grandfather too. I would simply listen to him talk, dreading the inevitable trip home. Cedric would always give me an odd look when we parted with a quick “night.” I would run home and shake from head to tail at the horror of being caught and sigh in relief when I made it to bed, my latest adventure unnoticed.
Amber would start to ask questions when I got home, saying “Where have you been?” and “Promise not to tell.” I felt guilty for leaving her a prisoner in that house but was thankful she now had school as an escape.
I had Laz as mine. Today was the last day of summer before we started at separate schools and Laz had been quiet all day. It was if he knew everything was about to change. He was going to be a freshman, and I was still stuck in middle school. I’d watched his body change and wasn’t immune to the heavy looks he got when we went into town together. Laz had somehow charmed my mother into letting me out of the house. I didn’t ask questions and took my freedom without hesitation. As I stared at Laz now in long cutoff jean shorts and nothing else, I felt a slight twinge of something I’d never felt. When he’d asked me the question, I’d immediately crossed my arms over my budding chest and stood awkwardly in my too small bathing suit.
Laz laughed at my posture and shook his head slowly. “Uncross your arms, Red. It’s just a kiss.”
“Maybe I don’t want a kiss.”
“Sure you do. I see the way you look at me.” I huffed and rolled my eyes. I’d never wanted to kiss him. I’d never even thought about it until he’d asked me. Well, maybe once. I picked up a few rocks, tossing them beside him. Laz kept his eyes on me for only a second before he dropped the rest of his rocks and wiped his hands on his jeans.
“See you later,” he said, pulling his T-shirt over his head. I stood with my handful of rocks, stunned. The sun was still high in the sky. I was sure I had a whole day of freedom left. I panicked as he began to walk off in the direction of his house.
“Wait!” I shrieked as I followed him.
He turned and gave me a bored look.
“Why are you leaving when we have the whole day?”
“To do what, Red, skip rocks? My friends are down at the river getting high while I’m playing patty cake out here with you.”
I wrinkled my nose at the thought, and he rolled his eyes. I spoke without thinking. “I could go with you. I could get…high.” The only thing that occurred to me was smoking meth, and I knew in that moment there was no way I was doing that. I shrugged as I took the last step to face him. He’d grown a good foot since I’d met him.
“Not that kind of high, Red.” He must have seen the relief in my features as breath rushed out of me.
“Look, I’ll see you later, okay? I’ll come to your window tomorrow.” My heart was sinking as I watched him start to walk away and the words stumbled out. “I want you to kiss me.”
Laz stopped and looked back at me. “No you don’t.”
“Don’t tell me what I want, Lazarus Walker. I said I want you to kiss me.”
I stopped my moving mouth as he approached, pushing my shoulders out, and looked up without flinching when he again stood before me.
“And I never said I wanted to kiss you,” he taunted as he studied my face.
“Well, you brought it up, you ass, so sumthin’s got to be done about it.” I put my hands on my hips and raised a brow in challenge.
“You look like a circus clown. Why would I want to kiss you?” He smiled, his blue eyes shining the way they always did when he knew he was aggravating me.
“You are all talk,” I huffed. “You’ve probably never kissed a girl a day in your life.”
“Sure I have. Kissed Lucy last week.” I felt the burn in my face as I confronted him.
“Well, now I hate you, Laz, so good going,” I mouthed, kicking the dirt up in front of him. He’d beat the snot out of Johnny Reid for announcing the arrival of my period because of Lucy Harden’s big mouth. Lucy had been responsible for the most embarrassing moment of my life, aside from Laz seeing my mother for the first time.
“Don’t go all half-cocked, Red. ’Sides, you ain’t my girlfriend,” he snapped after gripping my wrist.
“Nope, I ain’t and I won’t ever be.” I felt my heart break in that moment and lashed out further. “But one day you’ll wish I was, and you won’t get your way. To hell with you, Lazarus!”
I made my way through my window, bypassing my mother, and sat on the ledge, wiping the wet streaks trailing down my face with annoyance. That night, hearing my mother pace up and down the halls, I imagined
for once her feet would make their way down the hall and out the door, but she wouldn’t stop there. I prayed for the day she would just keep going. I hoped that my daddy would be glad about it and that Amber and I could finally have some peace. I must have drifted off because I woke to a light tap on my window. I thought about ignoring him out of spite, but the truth was that Laz was the only thing I had to look forward to.
He was all I had.
I opened the window part way and poked my head out.
“What do you want?”
He smiled and shrugged. “You still mad at me?”
“Did you really kiss Lucy?”
He nodded in reply.
“Then I’m still mad at you. Get.”
Laz gripped my head as I began to retreat, leaning in to place a hard kiss on my lips. I pulled away slightly, but when he wouldn’t let go, I let his lips linger on mine a beat longer. He pulled away with a grin.
“I’m your first kiss, Red. Nothing will ever change that, and you can’t do a thing about it.”
I wiped my pulsing lips as I lashed out. “Wasn’t nuthun’.”
He ignored me and kept walking as I got into my bed, wide-eyed, my heart beating out of my chest.
I jumped when I felt little hands touch my arm.
“Aylor, I did it.”
I pushed out an impatient breath as my little sister interrupted my moment of reflection.
“Amber, we’re going to get caught one day,” I scolded as I grabbed a clean sheet I hid underneath my mattress.
“Onwe wittle bit,” she promised as I stood to see she had already pulled the urine-stained sheet from the mattress. I studied it, noting it was just a small amount. I grabbed her wet panties and the sheet then crept down the hall to rid them of the smell. I sprayed a little starch on it for good measure and hung it out the bedroom window along with her panties to dry.
“I sorry,” she said as she climbed back into bed and looked at me. She was almost six years old and was afraid of her own shadow. Her speech hadn’t improved since she’d started school, so I did my best to help her. “It’s I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
She was so small, and on a daily basis, I was forced to watch her endure horrible cruelty. Where I had air and sunshine, she was kept a prisoner, covered in bleach that burned and irritated her skin. What my mother did to me never mattered. I could bear it with thoughts of soaking in the pond with my best friend.
My mother seemed to spare me most days in lieu of hurting her, but in the end, I knew she did it because it hurt me more. There were days I would practically beg her to take it out on me, but I gave up when she only punished my little sister harder. Watching Amber sleep that night, I made a promise to myself that I would get us out of there.
And for years, I did nothing but think of a way to do it. Laz and Cedric got caught with drugs their first week of high school and were sent away to juvie in Memphis.
And when they came back, everything had changed, including Laz. Cedric had seemed just as determined as me to get out of Dyer and swore on everything the day he was of age he was signing up for the Army. I secretly and selfishly hoped Laz wouldn’t follow, though he considered it.
It wasn’t until a much later that I realized I should have used my wish more wisely.
Days turned into weeks, and I told myself I was better off without Daniello. And in truth, I was. He’d kept his word and left me without explanation. I’d spent a few days reflecting on our time together and decided it was for the best. A small part of me mourned his absence, the banter, the sex.
God, the sex.
I kept my days full with work and making money. That was what I did. It was oddly comforting. I still hadn’t heard a word from Amber since Cedric had made the call giving her the option of contacting me. I wondered how I would respond if I found out she wanted anything to do with me. How she could possibly fit into my life? I could have called myself. I should’ve called myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was a coward in that sense.
And when it came to her, I felt unimaginable guilt.
Sipping on a tumbler filled with the whiskey Daniello had left me, I sat on my patio overlooking the marsh. I’d been so immersed in my past lately that I’d been remembering more and more.
I thought about the first time I’d met Ray and the night that changed my future. My prince didn’t come along and save me. He was no white knight, but a benefactor with the right amount of money to buy me at the right price. I’d sold my soul to him for privilege. I’d lied to every soul I knew about my departure from Dyer, including Laz. It was my biggest skeleton and my most well-hidden secret.
I’d been someone’s whore in exchange for my education.
In my world, there were no saviors aching to find an under-privileged girl and make her dreams come true. There were no miracle scholarships to Ivy League colleges, regardless of my high school GPA. I’d made strides from the age of eight to keep perfect grades at school. I’d never been encouraged by my parents or even acknowledged for my collection of A’s. I did it for me in hopes of leaving town for college one day, no matter where it may be.
I read each book on the summer reading list twice. I read materials beyond my comprehension level and studied them over and over again until I understood them. I spent the time in Laz’s absence at the public library, which was actually a broken down corner of a vacant shopping center. It seemed no one in Dyer had cared about the future of their youth and the library had a ridiculously limited selection. I’d jumped at every chance to accompany my father on his rare trips to Memphis to get a glimpse of life outside of Dyer. More than once I’d kept my hand on the door handle with the itch to escape, to step out of his truck, put one foot in front of the other and never look back. Thoughts of Amber and her future always kept me planted to the seat and obedient when I returned. I began to resent Amber for my predicament. I knew as soon as I was on my own I would find a way. I’d never doubted my ability to take care of myself. It was always the guilt of my mother’s cruelty that weighed me down. Amber would suffer if I left, more than she ever had.
On my seventeenth birthday, someone had heard my prayers because Lucy Hardin had talked her father into taking us to Memphis for dinner. She’d approached me when Laz was sent away and told me she had meant for us to be friends. I had no one at the time, so I went along with every detail of our “friendship.” In a twist of sick fate, I had no idea while she was applying a heavy coat of makeup on me that I would be meeting opportunity that very night that would make me both villain and victor.
It turned out Lucy’s father had only agreed to take us with him in order to meet a business partner. Lucy’s family was the wealthiest in Dyer. All too often, I found myself resentful of it. I spoke with Lucy as I devoured my salad and steak and then chose the biggest dessert available. All the while I caught the man eyeing me with a smile as he spoke to Lucy’s father.
“Who is that man?” I questioned Lucy as I tore through my food, moaning in appreciation.
“Just one of Daddy’s business partners.”
“He’s staring at me.”
Lucy threw a linen napkin in my lap. “Because you have chocolate all over your face.”
In the middle of dessert, I found myself alone at the table with Ray.
“Happy birthday,” he said in a dry tone as I licked the chocolate off my spoon.
“Thanks,” I said, completely immersed in chocolate that was no longer on my cutlery.
Ray leaned forward. “Look at me when I talk to you.” I stiffened at his tone. It was the same tone my mother used when I expected the worst. Setting down my spoon, I turned to face him.
Ray wasn’t as old as Lucy’s father. In fact, he was much younger. He had big blue eyes that reminded me of Laz. He was well dressed and reeked of money, which was easy to spot when you had none.
“You live in Dyer?”
“Yep,” I said, quickly averting my eyes to see if Lucy and her father were on thei
r way back.
“Yes, sir,” he corrected.
“Yes, sir,” I agreed. “And I’m getting out as soon as I can.” I didn’t know where the words came from, but I decided to widen my lie. “I’m going to Harvard.”
His laugh was both cruel and amused.
My cheeks flushed as he reminded me who I was.
“Do you have any idea how much it costs to attend a school like Harvard?” He crossed his arms over his suit jacket and tie as he stared at me expectantly.
“Hundreds of thousands,” I answered with dread, waiting for the inevitable.
“And you’ll need prep school. Good grades aren’t enough, and even with the right breeding there is no guarantee you will get in.” He cleared his throat, demanding my eyes again as I looked at him. He wasn’t a bad looking man. In fact, he had a nicely cut face and full lips. For a flash, I saw him recognize that I was assessing his looks and he smirked. “You are aware of all this?”
“Yes, sir,” I smarted with pure contempt.
“Good, quick learner. You seem sharp. You could manage a state school.” It was a crack. No matter how subtle, it was a gavel decision he’d made about my future that I had no say in. I dug my heels in.
“You graduated from Tennessee and probably had money before you made any. Sorry you couldn’t do better.” I threw my shoulders back and glared at him as his laughter bellowed around the restaurant.
He shook his head as he looked down at his cuff links. “Little girl, you are something else. Tell me, how did you know I went to Tenn—”
“Probably a Vols fan, too. That’s unfortunate,” I added smartly as Lucy and her father began to make their way back to the table.
“You want Harvard?” he asked in challenge, pulling out his wallet. I sat stunned, praying Lucy would walk faster. I was relieved when Ray slid a card in front of me, a small smile on his lips.
“Call me when you’re serious about it.”
“I won’t need to,” I said, pushing the card back his way.
“Taylor…this card will get you out of Dyer.” I could feel the tension leave me slightly with his words as if the truth of them didn’t exist until he uttered them. I looked at him for long moments when Lucy and her father returned, trying to piece together why a man like him would possibly help me. I put the card in the purse Lucy let me borrow to match my dress and taped it to the top of my dresser drawer when I got home, where it remained for a year.
