by Kate Stewart
“Get. Your. Fucking. Shit. Amber.”
Amber glanced my way with fear-covered features as the light in her eyes dimmed.
“They aren’t going anywhere.” Laz’s head snapped to me as I made a move to my kitchen drawer, grasping at straws for anything I could find. I managed to find a meat mallet before I felt his fingers grip my neck.
“Laz, don’t!” Amber shrieked, and a startled Joseph jumped in her arms and began to cry.
Laz spun me to face him, the ominous twist in his lips a preview of what he had planned for me. All the scenarios that Cedric and I had prepared for slipped through my open fingers like sand because I’d let my guard down for a moment to live in it. I didn’t know why I hadn’t learned my lesson.
I was never supposed to be happy.
I was never supposed to have a family.
I would never have a second reality. My mother’s words hit me like bricks as dread filled me. I looked over to Amber whose face was twisted in horror. She loved me, despite my failure to save her from a living hell. She still loved me. And her little boy had the possibility of a future without a trace of Dyer in it. Maybe I was never meant to have family or a second reality. But I would make sure Amber did. Even if it cost me my last breath.
Laz’s grip tightened on my neck as he eyed the metal in my hand with a devilish smirk. “What are your plans for that, sweetheart?”
“Bury it in your skull, asshole.” His fingers tightened as Amber screamed out another plea. Joseph wailed as I looked over at a helpless Amber, who clutched her son.
“Go, Amber.” She shook her head, our argument pointless. “Go, get your stuff.”
“Yeah, Amber,” Laz said, his focus solely on me, his nicotine-tinged breath hitting my face, “go get your stuff.”
I faced Laz, who had me tight in his grip, my back folded over the counter top. “Your move, Red.”
Fury raced through me as I did my best to push him back to swing the mallet. Laz laughed, and my stomach rolled as he kept me pinned tightly.
“How will this end, Taylor?” Laz leaned in close, our eyes locked in battle. I pushed my fear down, my need to protect Amber and Joseph outweighing any thought of self-preservation.
“You’re going to have to kill me to get them out of this house.”
His fingers cut the rest of my breath as he spoke. “And you think I won’t?”
I flailed beneath him and brought my knee up between his parted legs. He managed to move before I could land a blow. He gripped my forearm and slammed it against the counter top until I dropped the mallet. “Just so you know, baby, I took the liberty and ended your relationship for you. He’s resting peacefully in your favorite elevator. Bay Street, right?”
No.
Tears sprang up instantly as I looked at him in question. “I can see your tastes have changed. Italian, huh?” He pressed his fingers in as I fought for air. “Oh, sorry, your turn to speak.” He loosened his grip as I gasped and inhaled all my lungs could hold.
“Fuck you. Goddamn you, Lazarus Walker!” I pushed away the agony that threatened to seep in.
“Such a pretty face on such a deceiving bitch. Did you ever even think about the mess you left me in?”
“You made your own mess. You’re still an addict. I made the right decision leaving you.”
His blue eyes lit up with pure fury. “I’m talking about the day you put a fucking bullet in me.” Spittle dripped from his mouth as he leaned in closer and dug his nails into my neck. “You. Just. Fucking. Left!” Laz raged as I tried to think of any way to shift my weight to my advantage. I had only one choice, and I took it. I jerked back and then forward with all my might and nailed him in the nose with my skull. I heard bone crack and was instantly freed. Still gasping, I gripped the mallet on the floor and came back at him with a hard swing. Laz was fast and caught my arm before he landed a hard backhand to the side of my face. I screamed out in rage, the pain a bystander to the anger that fueled me.
“You bastard!”
“I’m calling the police!” I heard Amber scream from behind the door.
“You do that, you join your sister tonight!” Laz shouted right before I reached him. I swung my fists in a futile attempt as he batted them away. His nose was shedding blood as he laughed at my anger and determination to bruise him further.
I cleared my counter, throwing everything I could get my hands on as he easily avoided the debris with hell in his eyes. He was playing with me, and I was fighting for my life. He had me in weight and size, and I was defenseless without my guns. High and out of his mind, it was only when I managed to sting him well with a heavy coffee mug that he came for me. He gripped my T-shirt and nailed me flat on my back to the island. His blood dripped down my neck as he wedged himself between my legs.
“I’ve been waiting thirteen years for this. It’s probably better that you’re alive when I do it.”
Realization dawned as he pulled at my shorts. I fought hard as he ripped at them with steady hands, despite my angry blows to the side of his face.
Annoyed, and only when I hit his tender nose, he slapped me hard enough to daze me while managing to get my shorts down. I fought with every fiber of my being to no avail. His fury won.
“Laz.” I lay exhausted on the counter, breathing heavy, full of fight and not an ounce of energy to execute it. I needed to buy time. “Are you really going to do this to me with your son in the next room?”
Laz worked himself tighter between my thighs.
He ignored my attempt to appeal to anything decent inside him. “You turned into a whore, right? For that guy in Memphis. Ray? Way different story than that scholarship you lied about. A little birdie named Lucy told me. Said you were holed up fucking Ray before you left for Harvard. And I believe there is some unfinished business between us about some money you stole from me. What’s your hourly rate? I’m pretty sure I’m covered.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“You made it that way!” I felt the anger radiate from every part of him. “You think you’re so much fucking better than me, Taylor? You’re a white trash whore faking a high-class life.”
“And you’re a drug addict. That’s all you are.”
Another slap had my face exploding with pain. I felt the copper build in my mouth and spit it out directly in his face.
Laz raged on, his face close—too close. I had no choice but to see my death in his eyes.
“Finally afraid, Taylor? That’s a relief. It makes you seem almost human. It’s deceiving, though. We both know you don’t have a goddamn frail bone in your body. Your sister is your only weakness. And I’m going to take her from you.”
“Fuck you!” I cried as he snapped my panties away from my body.
“I’ll take a piece of you, and then I’ll take the rest.”
I clawed his arms bloody as he hovered above me. My efforts seemed to satisfy him. It was only when I lay limp again that he stopped the workings of his belt.
He stared at me as my jaw trembled, satisfied with my defeat.
“Laz, please, you want this. Fine, I’ll give it to you, okay? Just please don’t let them see.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. “You want this? Take it.”
“Fuck you.” Another slap to the side of my face had me seeing stars.
“Laz.” He paused as he looked down at me. I gathered it was something in my voice that made him do it. He studied me like he saw a ghost.
Stopping his hands on his pants, he screamed in rage. “You were promised to me! I did it all for you! Every goddamn thing!”
“I’m self-made, goddamn you! I did it myself! What the hell did you ever do for me!?”
“I killed your fucking mother!”
I lay there in shock as he raged on.
“I made it safe for you to come back, made it safe for Amber! I saved you and your ungrateful sister! I loved you my whole goddamn life, Taylor Ellison, and you left me in that fucking hotel room to rot!”
; And then his weight on top of me was gone. It took me seconds to recover, and when Laz came into focus, I saw he wasn’t alone. Laz grunted out in pain as Daniello landed blow after blow to his face, alternating his fists and then holding him up by his throat when Laz went too limp for him to continue his brutal beating.
The baby was screaming as I watched Daniello’s wrath unfold.
I found my voice and managed to croak. “Stop, Daniello.”
Daniello did as I expected and continued to punish Laz with bone crushing blows.
“STOP!” I gripped him by the arm. “Please, you can’t.”
In a sudden move, he gripped Laz in a headlock with a Glock to his temple.
“NO! No! The baby!” It was all I could bring myself to say. Daniello scoured my body, his features filled with a rage I’d never seen.
His voice deadly, he leaned in to whisper in Laz’s ear, “She begs for your life, you piece of shit.”
“Daniello, don’t.” I stared on at Laz, who I believed with everything in inside, loathed me as much as he loved me.
“Oh, he’s going to,” Laz said with ironic humor, his face completely broken as he spat the blood pouring from his lips.
“Wise words from a stupid fucking man,” Daniello bit out, his face twisted with restraint.
“You’ll waste her,” Laz grunted out, agony in his fractured face. Two of his teeth were cracked, and his face freely bled as he looked at me with sorrowful eyes.
“And you will never have her,” Daniello hissed.
“I did though,” he coughed out. “Didn’t I?” Twin tears streamed down his cheeks as he looked at me with a mix of need and regret. “Always, right?” He stared at me in the present and the past. I knew exactly what he was referring to—our picnic with the strawberries. It was one of the best days we spent together. Recognition of our past life razored circles over my chest and threatened to cut deeper. Cedric was right. No matter how much I denied it, I loved Laz in memory.
I gripped my chest as Daniello held his life in his hands.
Laz’s eyes implored mine as he looked at me, lost. “Red,” he whispered, “did you ever love me?”
I stared back at the man who was my nemesis and the boy who was at one point, my hero and my first love. “Yes.” Laz’s eyes closed in what looked like relief a second before Daniello cracked his neck. Laz went completely limp as I slid to the floor in unison.
The next few minutes were a blur as Daniello barked orders at Amber’s closed door. I looked into Laz’s cold, lifeless eyes with strangled breaths and glassy eyes. Relief, devastation, and confusion all came into play as Daniello hoisted me up from the floor and slid my shorts back on before he pulled Laz into the dining room, past Joseph’s ice cream-soaked highchair. I blinked again and again, completely torn and unwilling to snap out of it. Daniello was in front of me, washing my face, twisting my neck to survey the damage.
“Phoenix, Jesus Christ, look at me. Look at me.”
“I’m okay.” The words were metal and lead on my tongue. “He told me you were dead.” I couldn’t control the emotions that surfaced, the confusion, the anger as I let my tears flow.
“It was one of my men.” Careful brown eyes scoured me. “Taylor, you saved him from a worse fate. I could not let him live. Tell me you understand.”
Still in a haze, I muttered my reply. “I understand.” Behind him, movement caught my eyes, and my chest seized when Daniello lifted his gun, his eyes still fixed on me, and aimed directly at Cedric’s head.
“No.” I shook my head at Daniello. “He’s a friend.”
“You better make goddamn sure you don’t miss,” Cedric said as he inched toward us and Daniello turned to fix his focus on Cedric. I saw the fire light between them. I clutched Daniello’s arm. “Please don’t.”
“Nice gun,” Cedric complimented, cold as ice. The look in his eyes was deadly. Daniello was stiff in front of me, and I could see his intent as I tried to wedge myself between the two men.
“You do a horrible fucking job of bodyguard.” Daniello’s voice was full of condemnation as he pushed me away from him and faced Cedric head on. “You tried your best, but you failed.”
“Don’t!” I begged. “God, please don’t.”
Cedric didn’t flinch. “I trusted the wrong people, and I think a few of us in this room are guilty of that. And you didn’t do much better,” Cedric noted as he lifted his chin in my direction.
“Stop it, please. I’m begging you both.” I turned to Daniello. “He would have killed him, like you.”
“Like me?” Daniello’s smile was sinister. “I assure you this man is nothing like me.”
“Looks like we have a problem then,” Cedric said as he took a step forward.
Daniello turned to me. “Take her to the penthouse.”
I stood my ground as the air thickly filled between them. “No.”
Cedric spoke next. “Take her, Taylor.”
I swallowed the scream in my throat as I again pleaded with Daniello. “Please. Don’t do this. He doesn’t know who you are. He doesn’t know your name. He doesn’t know anything.”
“Taylor.” It was a warning from Cedric. “I really don’t like your new boyfriend. But you need to listen to him. You need to go.”
“Phoenix.” Daniello jerked me into reality as my eyes finally fixed on his.
“Take her to the penthouse. Go.”
“Amber,” I breathed out, barely audible to my own ears. I walked over to the door and knocked. “Amber, we’re leaving.”
Amber slowly opened the door and looked past me. Daniello stood behind me, his gun still pointed at Cedric, blocking her view of the dining room.
“Joseph’s bag is still in the car, meet me there.”
“Okay.” Amber clutched a sniffling Joseph to her and made a beeline for the garage door. I turned back to Daniello who spoke to me without looking my way.
“Go. I will be behind you.”
Tears multiplied as I stared at Cedric. His eyes softened on me briefly before he barked his order.
“Goddamned it, Taylor! Get Joseph out of here, go!”
“He’s dead, isn’t he?”
I nodded as Amber looked at me with tear-filled eyes and then back at her sleeping son. Laz’s sleeping son.
An avalanche of guilt covered me because of Laz while growing fear budded for Cedric.
Amber looked over to me with salt-filled eyes. “He would never have left us alone, right?”
“No. Even with the police involved we would have never been free of him.”
“Does it hurt?” She lifted soft fingers to the side of my face, and the ache wasn’t nearly enough to break through my torment.
“No.”
“Jesus, Taylor. Who is that guy?”
She was referring to Daniello, but my thoughts were still on Laz, his eyes, his words, his devastation. I felt it. I felt all of it, and I would probably carry it with me for the rest of my life. In the sickest of ways, he’d remained loyal to his love for me long after I left him. I had no compartment for that, no place to shove it away. He loved me with his last breath, though I gave him no reason to, and I was sure as I stared at his lifeless body that I didn’t want him dead. I wanted him gone, I wanted to keep my sister and her son safe, but I never wanted to see him that way. And Daniello would never have let him live.
By the way he handled him, I could tell he would have done so much worse if I hadn’t begged him to stop. And if Cedric were lying on my kitchen floor lifeless, I would never get past it.
Laz’s words echoed through my head. “Laz killed Momma?”
Amber stiffened in her seat and looked at me with wide eyes. “Yes. That’s the one secret I kept from you.” Amber sniffed. “I screwed up. It’s the one thing that could have kept him away from us. But I wanted so much to believe he would do better. God, Taylor, I’m so sorry. He almost killed you. He would have taken us. God, I’m so damned stupid. Please tell me you’ll forgive me. Please, Taylor. I wa
nted Joseph to have a father, but never at this price. And not the way he was. He’d just done so much for me.”
But it wasn’t for her. That’s what he made sure I knew. None of it was for her. The pregnancy might have been accidental, but the rest was part of some sick wish that I would return. He was lost in a world we’d created all those years ago and never got out of it. A world I prayed he’d take me away from. And his life was taken in my world, by a man who was even more dangerous.
It had to stop somewhere.
The chain had to be broken.
I couldn’t afford any more of the same in my life.
“I understand, Amber. I wanted the same. But we can’t change their nature.”
Amber wept silently in her seat as I let the words I just spoke pass over me like a sentence. My sister and her son were my priority. I couldn’t take any chances with their lives.
If Daniello had ended Cedric, his death would be more than I could bear.
And that meant letting go of another man that I loved.
At 4:00 a.m., I stopped texting Cedric. I had to protect Amber, and that meant making sure none of Laz’s crew were waiting in the wings. When I was certain we weren’t being followed, I got us safely to the penthouse and began begging for any word. Amber cried silently with Joseph snuggled next to her on the bed while I sat on the sofa with my anger and grief.
Mountains of tears multiplied as a chest full of despair I could never have imagined threatened to ruin the rest of me.
Minutes or hours later, when the door to the penthouse opened, and I saw Daniello was alone, I bent over in defeat and let my emotions run rampant. I sobbed into my hands, my gun discarded on the couch next to me before I snatched it up and aimed it at Daniello. There was no surprise in his eyes as I walked toward him.
“Where is he?”
Daniello’s eyes were filled with emotion as he spoke softly. “Did he get inside you?”
I jabbed the gun in his direction with every word. “Where. Is. He?”
“Tell me, Phoenix, because if he was inside you, I want that bullet.”
I scrubbed my tears with my free hand, my resolve slightly faltering. “Don’t pretend to care about me!”
