by Erin Trejo
“You’re right, brother. I shouldn’t have said that shit. You always put the club first. I get it. We all get to a point that we need a release.”
Stupid fucking fool. Sometimes I wonder why Demon keeps this fuck around. He’s such a waste of air.
“Exactly. I have never once disrespected my goddamn club! You need to watch who it is you’re talkin’ to like that, Bic. I have no fuckin’ problem puttin’ a bullet in your head or havin’ Demon pull your patch,” I warn him as I point at him. He nods his head. He knows I’ll do it. I don’t give one shit about that man. He may be my brother in this club, but that means nothing when I want blood.
I turn on my heel and walk back toward the door when I see this chapter’s president, Gary, walk out. He has a smirk on his face, which makes me smile.
“Sent the best of the best,” he announces before pulling me into a hug.
“Goddamn right. You know how it is,” I reply, slapping a hand on his back.
“You heard what we’re up against, yeah?”
“Got a thief in the mix. Then the fuckin’ rat that squealed on him.” Gary nods, letting a little huff escape him.
“You see how that works. You tell on a brother for some twisted shit, you die, too. That seem right to you?” he asks me with a grin. He knows the answer to that one.
“Welcome to club life, brother.” Gary slaps a hand on my shoulder before leading me inside.
“Let’s get a beer and catch up before we handle business.”
Chapter 5
“This club is held to high standards. We pride ourselves on maintain’ a brotherhood to be proud of. When a brother disrespects his place in this club, he disrespects all of us,” Gary declares as I stand by his side. We’re here for backup. We’re here because we’re the mother chapter. Demon typically handles these kinds of things, but with new gun shipments coming in, he’s needed back home. That puts me in the top spot, something I don’t mind.
“He put us in a position to make decisions that don’t come lightly for us. It’s a hard thing when you have to strip a brother of his patch. It’s another when you have to take his life. As the mother chapter, that falls onto this man,” Gary says, slapping a hand on my shoulder before he continues. “He makes the final call. He pulls the fuckin’ trigger.”
I step up in front of him before I sigh.
“It doesn’t give me a fuckin’ thrill to come here for this shit.” That’s a fucking lie. “It doesn’t bring me joy to have to remove a brother for what he’s done.” Another even bigger lie. “But we’re family and family doesn’t turn their backs on each other. They don’t betray the hand that feeds them. Mark and Boone. Step the fuck up here,” I roar through the crowd. The gasps aren’t missed. They didn’t know who was going down today. They knew something was up though. I watch as the men walk toward the front of the room. My heart hammers in my chest but not from fear.
“You betrayed your family. You fucked them over and now you will pay. Got anything you wanna say?” I ask looking between the two of them. Neither of them says a fucking word.
Cowards.
“You have a rat and thief amongst you. Let’s clean this club up!”
I pull the gun from the back of my jeans.
“On your knees. Bic, get those cuts off them. They don’t deserve to wear that. They aren’t family,” I growl. I watch Bic pull the cuts off the rat bastards before stepping back next to me.
“You picked your own fate.” I fire two shots into the backs of their heads. I watch as the blood sprays out of them and they fall to the floor.
The room is silent when Gary speaks.
“We clean this mess up. We move the fuck forward and we sure as fuck don’t fuck this club over!”
The guys don’t know what to do or say. This has never happened at this chapter. A part of me respects the hell out of that. Gary has run his chapter with an iron fist. He’s a good man who takes pride in his club.
“You good, brother?” Gary turns his attention to me.
I nod once. Am I ok? Killing is easy, but not being able to slide my fingers through that sweet crimson is harder than I thought it would be. I want to touch it. I want to write my name on the fucking walls with it, but this isn’t the time or place.
“Hell yeah, I am. Your club’s clean once again. That was the goal, yeah?” I pull my gaze from the blood using all the strength I have. I meet Gary’s eyes as he nods.
“You’re right. Let’s get you some beer and pussy,” he laughs. He throws his arm over my shoulder and leads me out the side door.
I didn’t notice when we pulled in but all the club whores are out here grilling and filling coolers of beer. It would be nice to just bend one of them over and take them the way I want, but in my mind, I know it won’t be enough. It will never be enough.
“Take what you want, brother.” Gary nods toward the girls and the beer. I opt for the latter.
I know control is something I need to gain. For the most part I can control it, but when I kill and I see that blood flow, my control wavers.
I feel like a kid. You know when you’re younger and you cry for your mom to buy you a new toy but she puts it back on the shelf? That’s how I feel. I’m torn. I want it. I know I can get it but when is the wrong time? I pop the cap off my beer and take a long pull before sitting in one of the lawn chairs. I cross my legs at the ankle and take in the party.
“You’re new around here.” I hear a sweet voice over my shoulder. I turn my head and look up at the purple-haired girl as she chews on her lip.
I trail my eyes up and down her body before I reply, “You wouldn’t last ten minutes.” I turn back to take in the party. I don’t miss her huff. I don’t give a shit either. I’d break her in half. I couldn’t touch her if I wanted to. She has the same color eyes as Tara and those eyes haunt me every damn night.
“How’s Demon?” Gary sits next to me.
“He’s good. We have a gun shipment comin’ in this week. Not much in the way of wars,” I tell him.
He nods his head before he says, “That’s always a good thing.”
“Heard that. After the hell, you guys were havin’ I’m glad our shit is runnin’ smoothly. Shit can get outta hand quickly.” Gary nods taking a drink of his own beer.
“We were talkin’ about a ride up north. Thought we could get all the clubs involved. Just a break from life,” he says. I nod my head. That would be fun for the others. Not so much for me.
“Yeah, get with Demon. I’m sure he’d be up for it after we get these shipments handled.” I take down the rest of my beer as we sit in a comfortable silence.
As good as it feels to get out for a while, I want to get back. I want to figure out a plan to get Evie and I want it as soon as fucking possible.
Chapter 6
The ride back home was quiet. Being back isn’t all I had hoped. I’ve been so fucking busy with club shit that I haven’t even seen Evie. I want to, though. More than I should.
“Look at this shit!” Demon snaps. I glance over to see what he’s bitching about.
“Who did that shit?” I ask with a smile on my face. Whoever was cutting that coke up sure as hell did a shit job at it.
“Fuckin’ prospect,” he yells.
I chuckle but it isn’t all that funny. I’m the one who’s going to have to fix that shit. I shake my head and finish cutting what’s in front of me. We used to let the girls do this shit, but then they started snorting more than they cut. It was a fucking waste of time and money.
“You ever get tired of this shit, Drake?” Demon asks running his hand through his hair. I watch him intently wondering where he’s going with this.
“With cuttin’ this shit or everything?” His eyes meet mine and I can see the tiredness in them.
“All of it. You ever think we’re gettin’ too old?” I chuckle, shaking my head.
“Sometimes, brother. Then I look at the younger guys and I know shit would never get done. They are too into the partyin’ a
nd shit to handle things the way we do. We’re the fuckin’ founders of this shit.” I turn back to cut more.
“Yeah, you’re right. I mean, fuck! Look what the goddamn prospects did to this shit,” he laughs.
“They are so used to buyin’ that shit off the street already done for them. We need to have some coke cuttin’ classes for these motherfuckers.” I smile as I continue working.
“Heard that! You see that dumbass Trigger tryin’ to roll a blunt? I swear to fuck, brother, I was fuckin’ nine when I rolled my first one.”
I lean back in my chair and glance over at Demon.
“You really are tired of this shit,” I say. Not as a question because I see the look in his eyes.
“Yeah. It’s not like it used to be. You remember back in the day when shit was easy? We’d fuck. We’d smoke. We’d party. There weren’t so many turf wars. We rolled where we wanted.”
I watch him talk remembering those days. They were a long fucking time ago too.
“Things change, brother. We adapt. We make bigger moves. We make bigger plans. I get it, though. It was easier back then.” He nods his head just as Bic walks into the room.
“Phone call, Demon,” he announces but his eyes linger on mine. That motherfucker is really pushing my buttons. Demon sighs before getting up and walking out of the room. Bic stays, eyeing me.
“Say it, Bic.”
“You like to kill, yeah?”
What the hell?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I stand from my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Means shit. I’m just askin’.” He mimics my stance, his arms over his chest.
“I need your help with somethin’,” he says.
Now that has my interest since when does this motherfucker ask for help?
“What’s that?”
“My sister’s man, he beats her. She was pregnant this last round.” His eyes look haunted but I know that’s not the only reason he’s asking me for help. There’s more.
“And?”
“What the fuck you mean, and? Ain’t that enough?” I shake my head as I walk toward him.
“You been on my ass for a while now, Bic. What the fuck do you know about me?” I push him for answers. He has to know something.
He sighs before he looks me in the eye. “You kill outside the club.” I grin when he says it.
“How do you know that?” I ask him. I want him to say that he saw me. I want him to tell me what he knows because that’s the only way I will make my decision on helping him.
“Fuck, Drake! I don’t care, brother. I really don’t.” He takes a step back but I move closer.
“How the fuck do you know what I do, Bic?” I growl.
“I saw you. I saw you take that girl from Black’s. She never came back but you did. You had blood on you, Drake. Like I said, I don’t give a fuck. I just need a favor.”
He saw me take her? It’s possible. I always have blood on me so why does he just assume I killed her? There’s more to it that I don’t know, but I can see in his eyes he isn’t going to tell me anything more.
“You want help takin’ him out?” I ask.
Bic nods before he answers me, “Yeah. I want that motherfucker wiped from the face of this earth. He deserves it, brother. More than anyone knows.”
I don’t usually get into personal shit like this. It’s not really my thing. I like to run on my own. It’s what I do. It’s what I’ve always done, but something about the look in Bic’s eyes says I need to do this.
“Alright. Tomorrow night.” I walk past him not saying another word.
Chapter 7
I drink. I smoke. I even fucked without killing, but all I can think about is tonight. This shit is getting too close to home.
I sit on the bench much like I always do on Tuesdays and watch her. Evie. That porcelain skin calling out to me. Her long hair hanging down to her ass in waves. The salon is where she goes every Tuesday at noon. Every Tuesday I’m on this bench watching her. Taking her in.
Dreaming of what it’s going to be like to have her beneath me. The thoughts are almost too much but there’s something standing in my way. Bic. He knows something more than what he’s telling me, nevertheless, Evie is all I see.
The time is coming soon. I can feel it in my bones.
This right here is my reprieve. It’s my escape from a world that will never understand my deepest desires. A world that could never truly be mine because I don’t conform to society’s standards. I was never normal, and as time goes on it shows more and more.
I drop my cigarette to the ground and step on it with my boot before pulling my phone out. I need to go meet up with Bic and get this shit handled. The problem is, am I going to be able to control myself in front of him when the time comes? Will he see the monster that stirs inside of me at the first sight of blood? Will he know that deep down I crave it? That I need it? I shake my head and press the call button, waiting on him to answer.
“Hey, you ready?” he says without so much as a hello.
“Yeah. Where am I meetin’ you?” The line is silent for a minute.
“You sure you’re okay with this, Drake?”
I smile and want to laugh. If only he knew how okay I am he would run from me. He would run as far and fast as he could.
“Yeah, brother. He’s hurtin’ her, yeah?” I ask already knowing the answer.
“Yeah.”
“Then we handle it. Under the table. No one will know,” I reassure him. Or am I reassuring myself, because little does Bic know he isn’t going home tonight, either.
No, I want him out of my hair. I want him out of my way. Something about him invades my head when all I want to think about is Evie. I don’t know what it means or why it’s him, but it’s there.
And before I can get to Evie, I need to know that Bic isn’t going to be a problem. I need to know that he is taken care of and is out of the way, and what better way to do that than introduce him to my basement?
“Ok. Meet me at the old mill.” The line goes dead but my heart beats faster. This has to be done. It’s not like I give one shit about Bic anyway.
I climb in the truck and drive out to the old mill. I see him sitting on his bike. His eyes meet mine through the windshield. I know he’s probably confused as fuck as to why I’m not on my bike.
He nods up the road, the motion telling me to follow him. I do.
I drive behind him, taking him in. The way his muscles move when he controls the bike. The way his arms tense the closer we get to his sister’s. It’s almost mesmerizing to watch him.
He parks his bike and climbs off as I slide out of the truck, a cigarette hanging between my lips.
“This it?” I ask nodding toward the house.
“Yeah, I told her we were comin’ by but not why.”
I nod, understanding his reasoning. Who really tells someone they are coming to kill them?
Following behind Bic something hits me. Why don’t I just kill them all? Him, his sister, her man. All of them. I could burn this motherfucker to the ground. No. I want that son of a bitch in my basement just like I envisioned him.
“Sis? You here?” Bic yells as we walk in the front door. I take in the small living room that’s full of flowers and family photos.
A small woman rounds the corner with a frown on her face until she sees Bic. Then she’s all smiles. She squeals before throwing herself into his arms.
It’s almost a sweet moment if I still had that kind of emotion. But I don’t; that bastard of a father and the craving to kill long ago replaced it. I watch them hug and wonder what it feels like to have that kind of connection. How it feels to actually care about someone else.
“This is Drake,” he says nodding toward me. As I’m about to say hi when the asshole in question rounds the corner. His lips are kicked up in a smirk.
“Who the fuck are you?” His smirk falls as he takes us in.
“You remember Bic, he’s my brother.”
&
nbsp; “Shut the fuck up, Deb,” the asshole snaps.
No wonder Bic wants the motherfucker dead. I just grin. This shit is like an episode of Jerry Springer with Dexter thrown in the middle. I love every goddamn second of it.
“You’re done, Dan. I warned you the last time that if I had to come out here, you were as good as dead,” Bic tells him. There’s an amusement in Dan’s eyes. I like it. He thinks he may have a way out.
He doesn’t.
“Let’s take a walk,” I tell Dan. His eyes come to meet mine and there’s a challenge there. I love a challenge.
“I got him. You sit with her.”
Oh, hell. He’s leaving me with her? Does he not understand just how hard this is going to be to sit here and not act on my impulses? On the other hand, he won’t be around after tonight to even care.
“Got it,” I say.
Bic pulls his gun and points it at Dan. “Let’s go talk like men,” he growls.
Dan smiles but walks out the door with him thinking he still has a chance. I shake my head and try to control the laughter that wants to bubble out of me.
“Your brother is somethin’ else,” I say catching her attention. Her big blue eyes meet mine and there’s such a yearning in them.
“How longs it been since he fucked you, darlin’?” I ask, seeing the look. I know that look.
“What? That’s none of your business.” She looks away quickly. I reach up and drag her gaze back to mine.
“It’s ok to ask for it. I’m more than willin’ to give it.” Her eyes flicker between mine. Hell, I just met the girl and I can see that need she has. Any smart man would see it.
“I couldn’t.” She shakes her head. I stand up and grab her hand, pulling her toward the hallway.
“Which room’s yours?” I ask her softly. Her hand shakes in mine. She doesn’t know what to do.
“Last one.” I lead her into the room, closing the door behind me.
“Take all your clothes off.” She turns to look at me, torn between doing what she’s told and waiting to see what happens with her man.
