Chapter Thirty-five
When I woke at noon, I dressed and hunted around for Liam, wanting to get the tough job out of the way first. I found him pruning a rose bush in the backyard. As I opened the patio door he turned and put down the clippers. We stared at each other for a few moments and then I took the plunge, keeping my tone as respectful as possible.
“Thank you, Liam. I appreciate the risk you took for my safety.” He waited. “You were right. I was arrogant and childish and I didn’t show you the respect you deserve. I can’t swear I’ll never act that way again, because I’m pretty stubborn, but I promise I’ll treat any future advice you share with me as a gift to be taken seriously. I’m sorry.” I’d practiced this speech in front of the mirror and hoped he believed me because I meant every word. I waited quietly for his reaction.
His violet eyes sparkled with what looked a little bit like humor. “Miss Jacqueline.” His tone was formal. “I acknowledge your statement as truth and I hope I may be of service to you in the future. I have never seen Master Garrett so happy. I begin to understand the reason.” His mouth curled up in a gentle smile. “There is food warming in the oven. My sage advice for today is that you eat.”
“But is everything all right between us?”
“Yes.” His eyes narrowed and he took a step toward me, sniffing twice as if testing the air. “Do you know you are using the lines right at this moment? Are you attempting to use magic to heal our earlier disagreement? Or is this done without intention?” He flattened his mouth in irritation.
I must have looked as bewildered as I felt. “I’m not ... I’m not trying to influence you in any way. And I’m not touching you.” I lifted my hands, puzzled. Didn’t Maya say I had to touch someone to heal them or calm them?
He motioned for me to sit on the bench as he sat pretzel-style on the wide wall surrounding the fountain. “I know how difficult it is to learn to control your gift,” he began, “but it’s imperative you attain those skills quickly. As you were able to send Garrett ley line magic from a distance, it’s now apparent you are able to send healing energy without requiring physical contact.
“Most supernatural creatures will dislike your magical intrusion if done without permission. My people in particular find it offensive, even though your motives may be pure. Your spirit’s goal will be to create a balance where you sense there is turmoil. However, it is extremely important you are always aware of when you are using magic. You must never allow the magic to control you, as it just has.”
“Garrett said Maya might want me to use my power to become a fighter.”
“You have the ability. Healers like you and I can reverse the flow of the ley lines and drain the health from a weaker enemy, pulling their life force into our bodies and adding to our strength. Not many can stomach the consequences of such a skill, because if carried far enough, we leave behind an empty husk. Powerful vampires, like Eleanor and Garrett, can pull in a creature’s life force as well.” He sighed sadly and looked away. “To be a strong healer is a wondrous gift and a terrible burden, because we can injure as easily as heal. We are constantly forced to choose between the two paths.”
I imagined over the hundreds of centuries Liam had lived he’d had to make those difficult choices many times. I managed a shallow nod in reply, feeling a little overwhelmed by this information. “Thank you, Liam.” He’d trusted me, opened up to me—a gift I would never take for granted. I rose, dished out some pancakes as ordered and sat down to eat.
His words tumbled around in my head like fall leaves in a brisk wind, my mind taking his information a step further. With magic, control was essential, that was obvious. My nature was to heal, but I must never force my energy on someone, even if I only wanted to help. Going into someone’s mind without permission was a kind of rape, after all, even if the purpose is to heal.
Kyle had accepted it, but Liam hadn’t, and I was fairly sure most powerful supes wouldn’t appreciate it either.
And what about the destructive side of my nature? If I can learn to drain an enemy’s energy, I’d be an enormous asset to the team and the entire shifter community. But could I take away someone’s life force, even a creature like Eleanor? Like dirty water down the sink drain or sipping through a straw to nourish my body, leaving only the dregs at the bottom of the glass.
I decided to call Maya to talk to her about what Liam had told me. No one else might understand. “Maya, could we meet somewhere? I have a few questions about my psychic healing abilities.”
“Your healing abilities haven’t manifested themselves quite yet. Wait a few months and then we’ll talk.”
“Liam thinks I’m healing subconsciously. He thinks I’m using the lines without realizing it to calm people. I’ve already used my healing with Kyle and I think I helped him a lot.”
I counted three beats of silence before she said, “I’ll meet you at Bette’s Diner in one hour. Go to the back room.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever I thought about her abrasive personality, at least she was true to her word.
An hour after telling Liam where I was headed, I was drinking a coke at a small round table in the empty back room of the local diner. Maya was sitting across from me nursing a cup of coffee and studying my face. I’d already explained everything, so I stayed quiet while she twisted all the possibilities around in her keen mind.
Her expression grew determined. “Let’s see what you can do. I don’t have anyone for you to heal like you helped Kyle, but there are other forms of healing. We’ll start with a simple, yet practical experiment.” To my surprise, Maya took a Swiss army knife out of her bag and ran it across her palm drawing a thin line of blood. “Focus your energy and heal me.”
“But I don’t think Liam was talking about healing physical injuries.” I was shocked and upset by her pain. This was not what I expected.
“Jackie, now’s the time to get over your ‘I can’t do it’ attitude and just focus the damn energy and heal me. I’m bleeding, in case you haven’t noticed.”
She sounded very calm for someone whose blood was dripping on the table, so I took a breath and did what she suggested. I stared at the wound, drew in the magic and focused. The heat from the lines built up in my stomach and chest, the way it had when I’d struck out at Lily in the woods. I reached across to hold Maya’s injured hand in both of mine, feeling the need for physical contact.
“Send the warmth of your aura out like a bandage to cover the wound, then pull it tightly together to seal it.”
The visual helped, so I concentrated on my breathing, pulled again on the current and pushed a flat wave of emerald energy toward her bleeding palm. I felt it make contact with the surface like a second skin and was amazed when I saw the bleeding start to slow down. I sent another strong pulse to push the edges of the skin together.
I was horrified when I saw her wince. “Ow, shit! It felt like you were healing my cut with a soldering iron. You can definitely use some practice.” I flinched at her harsh words, but she scowled, saying briskly, “Don’t turn away, look!” She held out her hand, palm up. It was perfect.
I gulped down a few sips of soda, the caffeine clearing my head. “Your trust in my abilities is a little—extreme. What if I couldn’t do it?”
She shrugged, appearing as calm as I’d ever seen her. “I know power when I feel it, and you’re buzzing like a hornet’s nest. Worst case, I would’ve needed a few stitches. Or I could always shift to heal.”
I wasn’t sure how I should be feeling about this newly discovered ability. I was embarrassed I’d worked my magic so clumsily, amazed I could actually heal a small wound at all, and scared about what this meant. Garrett, Liam and Maya had mentioned a healer could kill using the same energy. But when would I ever need to kill? And could I kill if I had to? My stomach did a backflip. Living in a supernatural world was getting very complicated.
“I see you’ve put two and two together, so let’s give it a try, shall we?” She laid her hand palm up on the table. �
��Cut me. Cut me the way I cut myself. Try not to make it too deep; I’d like to survive the day, if that’s all right with you.”
“I can’t….” She put her other hand up to silence me.
“We had this discussion three minutes ago. Cheetahs don’t run from what we are. We take our natural gifts and make them stronger. Now do it.” There was no fear in her eyes or in the relaxed way her hand rested on the table in front of me. In fact, she looked eager, and almost hungry. Maya, the scientist and magic user, was aching for another challenge. Looks like I was prime guinea pig material.
I didn’t argue further. Taking in three deep breaths and drawing in power, I shaped and sharpened the magic to a fine point and pushed it out to flick across her palm. Maya winced, but didn’t make a sound. The shock of seeing her skin open up without anything touching it was surreal. Not wanting to wait, I grabbed the edges of her palm with both hands and sealed the skin once more. This time when I finished she was beaming. Of course, I was happy too, just still too shocked to show it.
Odd how I was able to cause hurt from a distance, but preferred to touch someone to heal them. I was too tired to put much thought into that particular puzzle. Maybe Liam could shed some light on it later.
I attempted to stand and stretch my legs, but my knees wobbled so much I had to sit again. I plopped down in the chair rather ungracefully. Maya huffed in annoyance. She’d probably wanted to keep experimenting on me. “You need to eat something before you pass out. I’ll call Ethan to pick you up and take you back to Garrett’s.” She signaled to the server and ordered me a cheeseburger and a side salad, never asking what I wanted. “Rest tonight. No strenuous training. No strenuous anything, understand?” I nodded, common sense telling me that arguing with the alpha female would get me nowhere fast.
Her gaze held some respect. “You’ve accomplished quite a lot today.” Yeah, the ability to heal was an amazing gift, but I couldn’t take pride in the other. She continued with a scowl, “Don’t you dare feel guilty about your power. You’ll be able to save lives and protect the people you love. Think about that before you start whining.”
“But … but how do I stop myself from sending out healing energy when it’s not wanted or appreciated. Liam was pissed.”
“I’m not surprised. The fae find it offensive if you can’t control your magic around them. You need to practice doing it over and over until your body and your mind are keyed in to what it feels like when it’s happening. It’ll take a while. Ask Liam to help you. He will.”
“He said he wasn’t allowed.”
“He’ll help you. Trust me. I’ve already seen it.”
Before I could ask what she meant, Ethan strode in with the rest of the team. Maya greeted them coolly, leaving through the back door, having already paid for my meal. I shook my head watching her leave. Maya had such confidence. I wondered if I’d ever feel that way about my power.
Ethan sat next to me and rubbed my back, probably noticing my rattled composure. “Eat your burger and talk to us.” I told them everything. Even though Maya’s pain had been relatively mild, I was troubled by what I’d done.
“I hated hurting her.”
“The team can use you as a tracker and you can patch us up afterward. No one will force you to fight.” He smiled his beautiful smile. “It’ll always be your choice to make.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“We understand. You grew up with humans. Sinc and I grew up with supernaturals. Kyle’s lived in a supernatural community for ten years. Injuring someone—killing someone—it’s not easy for any of us. We’ve all killed to protect others. It stays with you.”
Sync spoke softly. “I killed a child. Kyle and I were chasing a wolf who’d raped and killed a young girl. The gun was knocked from my hand and went off.” Sinc’s eyes held unshed tears. “He’d pushed her into the line of fire. She was twelve years old. I see her face every day.”
Kyle nodded his head. “Even with Hank, who was torturing Garrett and was probably gonna kill you. I mean, if he’d been in another pack like Aaron’s, he might have turned out an okay guy. I ended any chance he had to change.”
I looked from Ethan to Kyle to Sinc and found myself strangely reassured by their words. They held themselves accountable for those deaths. Stupid, I guess, but I’d worried that living for centuries with the power to destroy so easily would somehow diminish my ability to show mercy, or worse, to feel remorse. I shuddered at the thought and promised myself to follow Maya’s advice and learn to control this gift.
I remembered what Maya had said about seeing Liam helping me with the magic. “Can Maya see the future?”
Ethan nodded. “Yes, sometimes. It’s kinda spooky. I guess cheetahs end up with different powers.”
“I wouldn’t want that gift.” I looked around the table and smiled gratefully at them. “Thanks for the help. I think I want to go home now.” They drove me to my new home, Kyle and Sinc arguing about something they were working on together in the lab. Later it morphed into trading quips about what they were wearing, neither of them appreciating the other’s taste in fashion. I sighed and smiled, happy to be in the back seat leaning against Ethan.
Rebirth - Book 1 Rogues Shifter Series Page 35
