by Liz de Jager
‘Machine or instant?’
‘Instant is fine.’ I pull myself onto the counter and watch Aiden trying to kick Leo off the couch while they play. ‘They act like they’re three.’
‘I think they are. They bring the worst out in one another.’
Dante comes to stand close to me. I lean against him and we stay like that for a few seconds, watching Leo and Aiden. I skim the newspaper he left on the counter. The headline shouts about the unseasonably cold conditions, with meteorologists struggling to make sense of the shifting weather patterns. I follow the article onto page five, where there are quotes by scientists on high-pressure cells, low-pressure cells, climate change and the risk of flooding. There are so many similarities to when Olga manifested in dragon form – over a year ago now – with the power of her shapeshifting disrupting the world’s balance.
‘What are you thinking?’ Dante asks.
‘That the weather is just as up the creek as when Blackhart Manor was attacked by the dragon.’
He sips his tea, watching me over the rim with a steady expression, before guessing my own thoughts. ‘Do you think this is Thorn’s doing?’
‘I really don’t know. But it would make sense if it was down to him.’ And here we are, openly talking about what we saw in the Otherwhere a month ago – for the first time. That day we ran for our lives, leaving Thorn behind to tear our attackers apart after his own change into dragon form. ‘But Thorn shifted in the Otherwhere, so I’m not sure why that would affect us on the human side. And it’s probably been over a month, so why would the weather only start responding now?’ I frown. ‘Do you really think Thorn is behind the weather, then?’ We stare at one another for a few long silent moments. I drink my coffee, barely tasting its black bitter twist on my tongue, before speaking again. ‘It could just be nature, you know. Getting her freak on.’
‘You don’t really think that, do you?’
I think for a bit and hold up a finger. ‘Let’s “what-if” this. The Veil between the Fae realm and our own is permeable. Magic trickles through in places, we know that, and it’s been happening for hundreds of years. And when Thorn shifted into a dragon, he used magic and no doubt tapped into the songlines to fuel the transformation too.’
‘And the songlines criss-cross the earth, carrying magical energies on both sides of the Veil …’ he prompts me.
‘Which means it’s likely that his shift affected not just our world,’ I continue, ‘but the Otherwhere too. When Olga manifested as a dragon here, destroying the Manor, the weather started going weird almost immediately. If Thorn’s shift has done the same, why are we only seeing the weather patterns changing now?’
‘I can only imagine the amount of energy it took to shift shape like that.’ Dante pauses to trace the newspaper headline mentioning the bad weather with a finger. ‘Maybe the type of energy he used is different. Perhaps with him being the guardian of the realms the power shift was more controlled and it took this long to hit us.’
I recall the draw of power I felt as we ran from Thorn into the forest, leaving him behind, at his own insistence. ‘It could be.’
We hear shouting and glance towards the lounge. Aiden’s jumped up and is crowing his excitement about a spectacular knockout in the game, but Leo isn’t taking it so well.
Dante looks away from the fighting boys with a shake of his head. ‘Have you tried contacting Thorn?’
I nod, fingering Thorn’s gift to me – the silver and obsidian pendant. It’s replaced the Blackhart antler for everyday wear, unless I go out on a job. I just couldn’t bear to lose my connection to him.
‘Yes. I’ve not been able to reach him using this at all. I get the sense he’s there, that he’s aware of me peripherally, but it’s as if he’s just not really present or listening to me.’
‘But he’s okay?’
I pull back a bit. ‘Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t he be?’
‘He did a crazy thing, Kit. He turned into a dragon. And then set the forest on fire to protect us. He went up against a small army to keep you safe.’
My expression must have shifted because Dante suddenly has his hands on my shoulders.
‘Oh, hell. I’m sorry. I’m being an idiot. I didn’t think that you’d …’
‘No, no, it’s fine. I’m okay, sorry.’ I take a moment before looking up at him, not liking the genuine concern I’m seeing in his eyes. ‘It’s just … I’d know if he wasn’t okay.’
‘You would?’
I nod, and I mean it. But it’s not something I’ve given much thought to, this feeling of knowing that Thorn is okay, just not present or accessible. I’ve not had any shared dreams with him either and it’s been over a month. I didn’t realize how much I’d come to rely on the occasional contact, the little chats we’d had, the small touches.
Dante sighs under his breath and reaches up to brush hair from my forehead.
‘You need to talk things out, Kit. I’m worried about you.’
‘I’m fine. I promise.’ I smile at him and know he can hear the lie. I sense the smile isn’t reaching my eyes so I stretch my mouth wider, forcing myself to look happy. It’s always worked in the past, this pretending to be okay. If you pretend hard enough, you start believing you’re okay. I’m good at this.
‘Kit.’ He’s next to me, so close I can feel his magic brush up against mine. ‘You’re lying. You’re not fine. Neither am I. I look like crap and so do you. We –’ he gestures between us – ‘are not okay.’
Dante’s hair’s no longer neat and tidy and his glasses have gone missing somewhere. There are dark circles under his eyes and he looks like the type of boy you’d cross the street to avoid, even in broad daylight. After he’d come back from the Otherwhere, he did a few weeks at HMDSDI, the Spooks’ HQ, helping his fellow agents with an ongoing investigation. He also tidied up the Child Thief paperwork as much as he could, before putting in for a month’s leave. Aiden forced him to move into the massive Garrett mansion and has been keeping an eye on him – reporting to me that Dante has been spending a lot of time in the gym, doing insane amounts of workouts and going over his martial arts katas. He’d disappear for hours, doing Parkour runs around the city, returning just to sleep for a few hours before repeating the behaviour all over again. And now, when Dante’s not working himself to exhaustion in the gym, he’s having long conversations with his adopted parents in Bristol – leaving him miserable. It’s why Aiden asked me to spend the weekend, to see if being around Dante would help him chill out a little. But he’s comforting me. Looking up into the Fae’s shadowed eyes and seeing my own pain mirrored there, I have to hold back tears. We were both trying to forget leaving the kids behind with Brixi, what we’d learned about the goddess, but there were some things you just couldn’t turn your back on.
‘Okay. We’re not fine. What do we do? How do we fix it?’
‘I thought you’d know. You are the expert.’
I snort. ‘Yeah, not so much.’
Our conversation is interrupted by a delivery of a mountain of pizza boxes and ice cream. At the sight of the food, Aiden commits suicide in the game, but he’s not fast enough to beat Leo, who just tosses the controller to the side, flips himself over the couch and into the kitchen.
There’s nothing about Leo that I don’t like. It’s easy to see how he can fit in so seamlessly with the werewolves and be Aiden’s best mate, whilst not really being part of their world at all.
‘Hey,’ he says, passing me a plate, as if he doesn’t know the Garretts never use plates for pizza. ‘We’re going out later. You wanna come along?’
‘Is it the Glow thing?’ I’m reluctant to be involved, mostly because of sheer stubbornness. The fact that Uncle Andrew effectively handed the Glow drug case to the wolves, bypassing me, still smarted. Yes, I was working on the Child Thief case at the time, but I could still easily have looked into who was distributing the drugs that were being given away for free across London clubs and illegal raves. When Glow was my
case, I made some progress – tracking down the Fae, Lady Morika and her small team, as they set up a deal to further distribute Glow in the Frontier using one of the Jericho gang. I sent Morika back to face the Sun King’s judgement for her part in the distribution of drugs in the Frontier, and yet it seems that I’d hardly made a dent. Then I was put on the Child Thief case. But that case is closed, no matter how much I wish it wasn’t, and my hands are tied in this respect too – and I know Shaun and his older brother Connor have been working on more Glow leads, and without Uncle Andrew’s permission I can’t interfere or help as officially it’s no longer my case.
‘No, not a Glow thing. It’s a new club opening and I got us on the guest list.’ He looks at me, eyebrows raised expectantly. ‘The DJ is supposed to be really good.’
‘One of your dad’s?’
‘Not this time: a friend of his, from France. Kit, come out with us. You’ve not danced in ages.’ He watches my expression as he sneaks a slice from my pizza onto his plate. ‘Come on, it will be fun.’
I wrap some mozzarella around my finger as I consider the offer. Leo’s father owns a number of nightclubs so, with Leo’s help, the wolves have a direct line into what’s going on in the clubbing world to track Glow distribution. And Leo’s been collecting rumours and tips for the boys to run down. But he’s promising tonight isn’t to do with Glow. Four weeks ago I’d have been all over this because I love dancing, but right now? After everything that’s happened? It is the last thing I want to do.
‘I’m sorry, Leo. I’m not in the mood for people or crowds.’
‘Bad excuse, Blackhart,’ Aiden grumbles next to me. ‘Dante’s coming along, right?’ When Dante nods, Aiden turns back to me, draping his arms around Dante and Leo, pulling them in close. ‘Come on, come out with your best bros. We’ll make sure you have fun. F.U.N. Right? No one will mess with you, I promise.’ He winks at me and gives me a pleading look.
‘You play a good game, Garrett, but no. You won’t change my mind.’
‘We promise not to get into any trouble,’ he continues, looking hopeful. ‘There’ll be no fights. None. No bleeding, no flirting, just dancing and having fun.’
‘I like how you put bleeding and flirting in the same sentence, like there’s no separation.’ I laugh at Aiden. ‘But no, come on. You didn’t mention this when you picked me up earlier. I don’t have clothes to wear out. I just want to chill out at home.’
Surprisingly it’s Leo who comes to my rescue. ‘Yeah, that’s fine. But next time? These guys are idiots and only behave when you’re around.’
After we’ve eaten, Leo checks his phone and his dad’s confirmed they’re on the list, but a frown mars his usually smooth forehead.
‘My dad’s not happy about us going to this and would prefer us not to go.’
‘Cos it’s not one of his clubs?’ Aiden asks as he removes the pizza boxes.
‘No, it’s Glow. There’s more of it getting into clubs and it’s spreading. More kids are using and no one will say where it’s coming from. The cops are desperate for leads and no one is talking.’
Shaun grunts in response. ‘Connor and I have been going nuts getting anyone to give us anything but nothing. Nothing is working – not money, not threats. Connor’s in a grump like you cannot believe.’
‘Even worse a grump than when I superglued his hand to the remote when he fell asleep?’
Shaun tosses a used napkin at Aiden before pushing away from the counter and loading the dishwasher with Leo and Dante’s plates. ‘About ten times worse.’
Aiden squints at his older brother. ‘Shaun, you guys said this was under control.’
‘We thought it was, okay? Things aren’t as easy as we thought.’
‘So, maybe tonight’s not just a party. Let’s see what we can find out. Someone must know who’s dealing.’ Aiden stares hard at Shaun, who seems reluctant enough, but he nods. Aiden turns back to me. ‘You sure you don’t want to come along, Kit?’
‘I’m not …’ I sigh and scrub my face. ‘You know I’m off the case, Aide. I can’t do this.’
Leo heads to the lounge to grab his keys. ‘I’m going home, I need to change. I’ll see you guys at the club. I’ll text you the address.’
Shaun pulls a face and I appreciate that he’s trying to play down the sombre tone that’s crept into the evening. ‘As the responsible adult in this venture, let me just say I’m not spending the whole night keeping you guys out of trouble. Aiden! Listen to me. Are we clear? No fights. I will leave your werewolf ass behind for the police to sort out.’
Aiden seems unperturbed by Shaun’s glare. ‘Fine. Just so we’re clear: I’ll keep an eye on Leo. He likes to mack on girls who’ve got boyfriends. I have to keep pulling his ass out of the fire.’
Leo gasps his denial as he heads towards the massive front door.
‘Shut up, Garrett. Or next time three of your exes team up against you, I’m not helping.’
Chapter Two
I’m downstairs scrolling through Netflix when Aiden comes down from changing. He flops down on the couch and pulls me into a tight hug against his lean body. It’s a new thing this, him being hands-on with me, and when I called him on it he just shrugged and said, ‘Why can’t I cuddle against my friend who looks like she needs it? Do you hate it? Do you want me to stop?’ and I had to agree that it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. I can’t shake the feeling that he thinks his proximity to me will help ease that band of anxiety across my chest that makes my heart thump too fast and with too much pain at really odd times.
Aiden presses his nose into my hair and takes a deep breath. ‘Blackhart. I’ve missed you.’
‘You’ve seen me every day, Aiden, since we got back from, you know …’ my hand stirs the air lightly before dropping back to my lap.
‘Being chased out of the Otherwhere by some ogres? Yeah, that’s not what I meant, and you know it. I’m talking about you not being here, Kit. I watch you and I see a girl going through the motions of being present but you, the stuff that makes you you, is gone.’
I don’t speak for a while. ‘It’s just hard for me, this time. Harder than before. Leaving it all behind, coming back here. There’s so much that the last case left unresolved – Brixi, the kids.’
‘Thorn,’ he prompts softly and I nod, not even fighting against the tears forming in my eyes.
‘Thorn. Yes.’
We ignore how small my voice sounds and sit in silence staring at the list of movies on the screen in front of us. There’s more, but I try not to think about it. Nosebleeds have become a regular thing now too and even just acknowledging them to myself is enough to freak me out. So I don’t, employing the age-old if I ignore it, it will go away tactic that I’m pretty sure my family invented.
The silence is marred by music coming from the floor above, where it sounds like a herd of buffalo are dancing. I glance up at the ceiling; the light is swaying dangerously.
‘Shaun,’ Aiden offers, following my gaze. ‘He has the grace of a flailing hippo.’
I laugh because it’s true. I’ve seen Shaun dance. It gets ugly really fast.
Aiden shifts against me and clears his throat. ‘Kit, listen. Can I talk to you about something?’
‘As long as it’s not asking me about borrowing my car, we’re okay.’ I locate the search box on the screen and put the remote down. ‘Okay, ask away.’
‘This thing with Dante.’
‘You like him?’
‘I think so.’
‘Does he like you?’
‘I think so.’
‘You know he’s my friend too. If you break his heart, I’ll have to hurt you loads. And I’ve been trained how to hurt werewolves. You taught me how. Don’t make me use silver on you.’
Aiden’s laughter makes me grin as he replies. ‘That’s it? No dire warnings, no crying because you’re a little bit in love with him?’
‘I was never in love with him, Aide. He’s sweet and he reminds me a little of Thorn. Bu
t other than that, there was never anything more.’
‘Oh, well, that’s okay then.’
‘You wanted me to make more of it?’
I look up at him and what I see in his eyes makes me pause because I’ve become so used to Aiden falling in and out of love with boys and girls, it’s never occurred to me that he would one day actually like someone for real. ‘Okay, so, are you telling me you like him like him?’
‘Yes. I think so.’
I worry at my lower lip and frown at him. There’s so much that can go wrong if things go south with them. And I don’t even want to think about the rule that Fae and humans must not be together, which has kept me and Thorn apart. Does this mean werewolf and Fae relationships and even same-sex relationships fall under the same taboo?
‘Kit.’ Aiden’s voice is very quiet, but it still stops me and I stare at him. ‘I’m not asking him to marry me, okay? I don’t even know him all that well. And, yes, he’s attractive and when he does the whole magic thing I sort of forget how to behave like a sane person. But it’s more than physical, Kit. This is serious. This isn’t me being dumb about someone because of hormones or the thrill of the chase. This is actual deep stuff and I don’t want to screw this up by being stupid around him.’
I feel like the wind’s taken out of my sails and I stare at him.
‘Oh, no,’ I breathe because I get it. ‘We are screwed if you’re going to go soft on me and all emotional.’
He laughs and leans his forehead against mine. ‘I know.’
‘This is a little crazy. Do you know if he’s interested back?’
‘Oh, I know it’s crazy, but I think so. He’s not said or done anything, you know, to say otherwise. I flirt like crazy and he flirts back and it’s really good. Being around him makes me and my wolf feel happy. I would just like the luxury of liking someone where I don’t have to hide who I am – and maybe he likes me back a little. Who knows?’
‘Just be careful, Aiden. I don’t think I can fix you guys if you break one another.’
He rumbles something against me and hugs me closer. ‘I love you, Blackhart.’
