Megan dashed into the house, scooping up Britney from the grass as she went. She could hear muffled voices and hurried into Amy’s bedroom, Britney still in her arms. Amy was on the bed, her knees brought up close to her head, her feet planted. She was doing her Lamaze breathing, but she was wincing in pain. Derek was standing by the bed, his eyes filled with panic. He kept twitching his hands, as if he wanted to reach out and do something, but he didn’t know what.
“What’s happening?”
“Contractions,” Amy huffed. “Really strong. It hasn’t been for very long, though. Try to calm everyone down, ok?”
She said this as if Derek wasn’t in the room. Adam and Buckle were hovering in the doorway. Megan needed them out.
“In the living room,” she ordered.
The men obeyed. Megan handed Britney to Adam.
“I need you to be responsible for Britney, ok? That’s going to be your job.”
Adam nodded gravely. Britney scrunched her face up, worried at how serious everyone was being.
“Derek, I need you to stay calm. Breathe. She’s just started having contractions. It may not even be anything. We won’t know for a while. Remember how Adam’s delivery went? It’s not like the baby just pops out without warning.”
Buckle smiled. He put his hand on Derek’s shoulder.
“It’s going to be ok, bud,” he assured him.
Megan hurried back to Amy’s room with her midwife supplies. Amy was still having contractions and trying to breathe the way she was supposed to. She looked scared.
“I’m here,” Megan said, taking Amy’s hand and holding it tightly. “Do you want Derek here?”
“Not yet,” Amy said, shaking her head. “He stresses me out.”
Amy’s contractions continued past the morning and into the early afternoon. Megan did all she could to make Amy comfortable: rubbing her back, sponging her face with a cool washcloth, and putting a pillow behind her back. After hour five, it was pretty clear that the baby was coming. Amy managed to briefly stand while Megan hurriedly arranged the shower curtain on the bed. Seeing the curtain made Amy anxious and forced her to blink back tears.
“It’s early,” she said. “This is really happening.”
Megan counted the seconds between contractions and checked Amy’s dilation.
“Four centimeters.”
The books said that the first stage of labor ends when the cervix is dilated four centimeters. Early labor was also supposed to be the longest stage, but since Amy had already had a baby, it could be shorter than the average eight hours. Megan braced herself. The next stage was the active stage. Amy’s contractions would get more aggressive. She wouldn’t be able to talk or move around very much. And she didn’t have an epidural. Megan talked as calmly and soothingly as possible.
“Breathe in through your nose. And out through your mouth. Find your rhythm. Imagine the ocean coming up unto the beach. In. Out.”
Amy had her eyes closed and focused on the sound of Megan’s voice. In. Out. In. Out. Her contractions strengthened and lasted longer. Not having any pain medication started to show in Amy’s face; she was struggling. Megan couldn’t do much but keep talking, keep holding Amy’s hand. She didn’t know how long this went on, but when she took a brief moment to glance out the window, it had gotten dark.
Something was wrong. Amy hadn’t dilated much more and her contractions were fierce and close on each other’s heels.
“You’re not ready,” Megan said, trying to hide her anxiety. “Don’t push yet.”
Amy was soaked in sweat. The shower curtain was slick with it. Megan dabbed Amy’s face with a washcloth, her wet hair plastering her forehead. She looked a little green.
“I’m gonna be sick,” she whispered.
Megan leapt for the bucket and held it for Amy while she vomited. She cried out in pain.
“Derek!” she moaned.
He appeared by her side, as if he had teleported. He had a stern look on his face and he wasn’t shaking anymore. He took Amy’s hand and knelt down by the bed.
“I’m here, baby,” he said quietly.
Amy groaned, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps.
“Not yet,” Megan said, her heartbeat beginning to match Amy’s breathing. “Not yet.”
13.
Derek felt like ripping out his hair. He could hear Amy’s small cries and Megan’s voice, breaking through like a pleasing echo.
“In. Out. In. Out.”
Derek felt helpless. He paced the living room twenty times. He went down into the cellar to count the cans of baby formula. He took the dogs out and then two seconds later, took them out again. They were confused, but they pretended to do their business again, and then sniffed around the garden until Derek pulled them back inside. He sent Adam to Pat and Kara’s with Britney and though Adam protested at first, he left as Britney was becoming upset by Amy’s cries.
What can I do? Derek asked himself.
When Adam was born, they had been in a hospital. There were doctors and nurses everywhere, ready to take charge, to tell him what to do, where to stand. That pregnancy had been easier, too. Everything had gone by the book. Was everything going as planned now? Megan’s voice didn’t give him any clues.
“Shouldn’t I be in there?” Derek asked Buckle, his voice demanding. “This isn’t the 18th century or whatever.”
“If Amy wanted you in there, you would be in there,” Buckle said calmly. “You stress her out, man. I’m sorry.”
Derek didn’t say anything. He knew it was true. He just made Amy feel more anxious, with his twitching and hair-pulling. He wanted to be calm. He wanted to be strong. For her. It always felt like he was fighting the same battle, just with different uniforms.
Be calmer, be stronger, be in control, Derek thought over and over again. Be braver.
As the hours passed, time ceased to exist for Derek. He tried to avoid doing the same thing on repeat, for the sake of his and Buckle’s sanity, but he ended up just doing a routine on repeat. He sat by the fireplace for a little while with the midwife book and then got up and went to the kitchen to look out the window. Still feeling restless, he put on his boots and went outside to look at the garden, just to come back inside shortly after to sit by the fireplace. The waiting was sickening. Buckle was whittling something from a piece of wood and occasionally looked up at Derek, but didn’t say anything to him. Megan’s voice from the other room started sounding like the buzz of a bee to Derek: steady, hypnotizing, tuneless. It was like Derek was caught in that moment between sleep and consciousness, where sounds from reality sound like they’re underwater. Derek tried to break from his repetitive cycle, but when he did, his fears took over.
Is this longer than normal? Is something going wrong? The baby is early. What if the baby isn’t healthy? What do we do if it needs more medical attention? Who do I get? What if Amy isn’t ok? She doesn’t have pain medication. She had it with Adam. I should be there. I should be helping her. But she doesn’t want me there. I would make it worse.
Derek felt ashamed. He sat on the couch and gripped his head in his hands. Buckle paused in his whittling.
“Are you ok?”
“What do you think?” Derek asked impatiently.
“You’re getting yourself all worked up,” Buckle cautioned him.
“Goddamn right, I am! My wife’s in there having a baby without a trained midwife or doctor or anything, and I’m out here freaking out and I’m making everything worse!”
Buckle put down his knife and moved to the couch beside Derek. He put his arm around his shoulder and drew their heads closer together.
“You know what your problem is?”
Derek rolled his eyes. What a stupid question.
“Your problem is you think too much about yourself. Sure, you think you’re worried about Amy, but you’re really just worried about yourself. ‘I’m making everything worse, ‘ ‘I’m freaking out.’ This isn’t about you. Nothing is. Even when it’s about yo
u, it isn’t really about you. We don’t have control, Derek. Stop fixating on it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Derek, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that we can’t really have control over our lives. We can prepare, yeah, and make lists and get organized, but when the nitty-gritty starts, all we can do is hope for the best and move forward. You, sitting here, getting all worked up, isn’t helping anything.”
“I can’t help it,” Derek said. “It just...overwhelms me.”
“Think about how we prepared for this. You’ve read the books. Megan’s read the books. You’ve been through this before! Amy has, too. It’s a little different, sure, but you’ve thought about that ahead of time.”
“Aren’t you at all worried, Buckle? You just sit there, whittling.”
“I’m real worried. I get worried all the time. But I don’t let it paralyze me. I can’t let it. There just isn’t time.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” Derek said hopelessly. “I…”
“Shut up. Stop saying ‘I.’ Your wife needs you.”
As if Buckle had arranged it, they heard Amy’s voice calling for Derek. Hearing the sound of her voice, the pain rippling through it, Derek’s mind snapped out of itself. He stood and hurried to the bedroom. He saw Amy, glistening with sweat, her face twisted, her breath desperate. A twinge of fear radiated through Derek, but he forced himself to ignore it. Kneeling, he took her hand. He pictured Amy after Adam’s birth, exhausted but beaming, cradling the tiny blue bundle in her arms. He saw her in the passenger seat beside him as they drove home and when they laid Adam in his crib for the first time. There she was again, in the kitchen, slowly dancing with Adam, his tiny hand enveloped in hers, his eyes fixated on his mother, totally in love. It was all Amy. Everything that Derek felt was Amy. No fear, no anxiety, no “I.” Just Amy.
“She’s dilating more!” Megan said, relieved. “Almost there, Amy. You can push in just a little while, ok? Hang on.”
Amy gripped Derek’s hand, her fingernails sinking into his skin. She looked at him, her eyes glazed and exhausted. She shivered.
“You can do this,” Derek told her firmly. “You got this.”
“Almost dilated!” Megan wailed.
“I love you so much,” Derek whispered.
The shower curtain was splashed with blood. Megan had her gloves on and was leaning over the bed, focusing between Amy’s thighs.
“You’re ready!” she said. “When you feel like you need to push, go ahead and push!”
Amy’s grip on Derek’s hand tightened. She pushed, gritting her teeth together.
“That’s good! Great job,” Megan encouraged. “Keep breathing.”
Megan puffed, her mouth a circle. Sweat dripped from her hair. She felt another wave of pain from a contraction and cried out. Derek put his other hand over hers.
“A good, strong push now, Amy,” Megan said.
“Can you see it?” Amy asked, gasping.
“Not yet. You’re doing great.”
Amy closed her eyes and listened to Megan’s voice and her own body. Derek fought the urge to twitch, and instead began to mimic Amy’s breathing. They both listened to Megan as she gave a series of instructions.
“Nice gentle push now, not too hard.”
“Good, good. Breathe. Try to not push so hard. Pant like a dog when you feel the urge. Good.”
“I can see the head! Push again!”
“It’s crowning!”
“Almost there! Big push!”
Amy cried out, a primitive, unhinged yell. It sent chills down Derek’s spine. He looked and saw the baby slipping into Megan’s waiting hands. Everything seemed to slow down for a moment.
“It’s a girl!”
Megan looked at Derek, her eyes starry. She held the baby in one hand while she took a towel to wipe away the blood and fluid from the tiny body.
“She’s so beautiful,” Megan breathed.
As if recognizing the compliment, the baby gave its first cry. She almost sounded like a kitten. Amy, who had closed her eyes from exhaustion, tried to sit up. Megan outstretched her arms to offer the new mother her child.
“It’s a girl,” she repeated.
Amy took the girl, her hands shaking a little, and pressed her gently to her chest. The baby mewed again, her tiny face scrunched up. Derek noticed she had a spiral of black hair on her head, like Adam’s had been.
“Do the honors?” Megan said.
She was holding out a pair of scissors. Derek held the umbilical cord like the book had said and snipped it. His heart was pounding. Tears pricked his eyes. Amy looked at him, his insides swelling with love.
“A girl,” she whispered. “A daughter.”
Megan, smiling, quietly began to leave the room.
“Wait!” Amy called after her. “Can you get Adam? And Buckle?”
Megan nodded. Alone for a moment, Derek looked down into his daughter’s face. He kissed Amy’s forehead. He was going to say something, but no words came. For the first time in a long time, he was overwhelmed with joy.
When Buckle and Adam came into the room, Amy could barely keep her eyes open. She smiled as Adam held his baby sister and cried, tears dotting his face. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, sniffing.
“You scared me,” he told the baby. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
While Megan quietly cleaned up the bed and got Amy more comfortable, Buckle stood next to Derek and held the baby.
“A girl, huh?” he remarked. “A little prairie princess.”
He marveled at her tiny fingers and hands, with the tiny fingernails. Clean and cared for, Amy fell into a deep sleep. Buckle smiled down at his sister in-law.
“She’s a strong gal,” he said admiringly. “This little girl is lucky.”
Derek gently touched the side of Amy’s face with his fingers. He almost couldn’t believe what she had just done, what her body had went through. Buckle sat cross-legged on the floor, the baby still in his arms.
“I told Megan,” he said suddenly.
“Huh?”
“I told Megan how I felt.”
“And?”
Buckle broke into a grin, like he was a kid who had just asked a girl to a dance.
“She feels the same way.”
Derek grinned back, and patted Buckle on the back –because of the baby- more gently than usual.
“That’s awesome!”
“It just felt right and almost like it didn’t really need to be said, because we both knew, but I still wanted to say it. And it somehow felt right to say it now. She came out of the bedroom, and she just had this look. I couldn’t keep it to myself. I just said, ‘I love you.’”
“What did she say?”
“I love you, too. And it wasn’t like an automatic response or anything. She looked right at me, in me, and said it. It was like we’ve been saying it this whole time, but not in words. I can’t imagine her not being here, y’know? And Britney feels like mine. Or that she could be, in time. It just felt good to say it out loud.”
Buckle didn’t stop smiling as he held the baby out for Derek to take back. She was so light, like holding a doll.
“We’re really a family now,” Buckle remarked. “Not like we weren’t before. But now with Megan and Britney and this little one…what are you going to name her? You guys talked about a few names, if it was a girl.”
“Aurora,” Derek replied.
“Pretty! Does it mean anything?”
Derek looked at Amy as she slept. The lines her face had smoothed out and she looked so peaceful. Derek didn’t feel any more of that gnawing, itching fear that had consumed him not that long ago. It had all melted away and he felt hope. There was hope for this little girl, even in the world they lived in. There was hope for Adam, and Britney, and Megan and Buckle. For all of them. Life is Hope.
“It means sunrise,” Derek said. “Aurora means sunrise.”
THE END
&nb
sp; Final Word
Thank you very much for reading my book. I hope you enjoyed it and found what you were looking for.
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If you enjoy Dystopian Fiction as much as me, make sure to check out some of my other novels. You can find links to my other titles, as well as a short excerpt of my newest book below.
My other Novels:
Prepper Central (Click Here)
Presidential Cleaning (Click Here)
Band of Preppers I (Click Here)
Band of Preppers II (Click Here)
Prepping for the Unknown I (Click Here)
No Tomorrow (Click Here)
6:00 Hours (Click Here)
The Unforeseen Enemy (Click Here) (on sale for $0.99 starting February 19th – for a limited time only)
Undone (Click Here)
Here is an excerpt of my new book ‘6:00 Hours: A Dystopian Novel’:
Part I
Rachel
1.
It had been raining for three days straight. Not just drizzling either or raining off and on. Steady, heavy rain with wind. The palm trees had been ripped to shreds, flower beds uprooted and turned inside out, and if someone had been careless enough to leave out their trash, it was scattered to the four corners. Seeing the black skies - black during the day and night now - it was hard to imagine that it hadn’t been that long ago when the sky was cloudless, sapphire blue, and lit by a radiant sun. Rachel had been able to enjoy the beach for one hard-earned afternoon after barely meeting her project deadline and suffering through a seven-hour flight before the storms rolled in. When she saw the dark swirling skies and the warnings of flooding on TV, she regretted taking a vacation alone. At the time, it had seemed like a perfect idea. Rachel was a true introvert and after exerting all her energy on her project for grad school, the idea of fielding questions from scores of friends and family about where she had been and what she had been doing sounded miserable. All she wanted was to get away, where no one knew her, and disappear for a few days. The Emerald Coast was just what she had in mind. She chose a small, expensive resort with a private beach to beat the crowds. That first afternoon went quickly, since she hopped right from the plane to the beach with its blue-and-white striped lawn chairs and servers in white shorts wandering around taking drink orders. Rachel slept most of the afternoon in the shade and had a late dinner. From the resort’s restaurant, she could see the skies darkening.
Band of Preppers (Book 2): Life is Hope Page 12
