by Susan Hayes
Chapter Fifteen
It was the middle of what passed for night on the station when Tianna slipped out of bed, leaving Owen sleeping. He’d fulfilled his promise, pampering her with massages and orgasms until they had both fallen into a blissful sleep. She felt well-rested and ready to work again, though there wasn’t much chance of Royan letting her stay out of bed for long. If only she could tell them the truth, but no matter how often she made that wish, there was no chance of it ever happening. The consequences were just too great – she had to protect Astek and her father. Her time with them had to end eventually, another dream sacrificed on the altar of her father’s will.
She found her robe, wrapping it around her as she left her room and stepped into the dimly light corridor. Once she was far enough away from the door to be sure Owen wouldn’t hear her, she let Royan know she was up. “Royan? Where are you?”
“Kitchen.”
She might have guessed. Royan was having a love affair with her food dispenser. He’d spent hours researching new recipes and ordering the ingredients for dishes she’d never heard of before. He might not be able to cook well, yet, but he’d learned enough on their trip back to the Drift to discover a passion for food.
“What’s on the menu?” she asked as she headed straight for the food dispenser. Her late-night ritual always included a mug of hot chocolate and a snack.
“Something called a frittata. I have no idea if it’s any good, but with a name like that I couldn’t resist trying it.”
“It’s basically an omelet. I like them.”
“Then that’s breakfast planned.” He finished tapping instructions into the dispenser and stepped aside so she could use it. “What are you doing up? If Owen knew you were awake already he’d take it as a personal challenge. I thought the plan was to wear you out?”
“He did. I slept for hours.” She punched in her order, along with a request for some pain blockers to quiet yet another headache. Once she was done, she walked over and wrapped her arms around him. “But I’m awake now. I don’t really need much sleep.”
“So I’ve noticed.” He wrapped her in his arms and bent his head to kiss her. “I should send you back to bed, but I don’t want to.”
“Bored?”
He kissed her again. “Lonely.”
His honest answer made her want to comfort him, and she burrowed deeper into his arms. “I’m here, now.”
“And a few days ago, that would have been enough.” The dispenser chimed, announcing her drink was ready, but Royan didn’t let her go.
“Right now is all I can give you, Royan. You know that. I’m a temporary addition to you lives.”
“What if we wanted more than that?”
Her next words came out edged in ice. “Then you’re destined for disappointment.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“Because we don’t always get what we want, Royan. Life doesn’t work that way.”
He stared into her eyes and it felt like he was looking straight into her soul. “You want this as much as we do. Don’t you dare deny it.”
“What I want is irrelevant. Veth, do you and your sister have some kind of telepathic link? I had the same damned conversation with her just a few hours ago.”
“Did she call you on that bullshit line about life not working that way, too? Because she fought like hell for everything she wanted, and you know what? She got it.”
Tianna bristled. She wasn’t used to being challenged. “You’re right, she fought like hell for what she has, and I’m happy for her. I’m happy for you, too, you idiot. You have something amazing with Owen, and I hope it lasts the rest of your lives. But that’s not in the cards for me.” She pulled away, angry enough that her control slipped and she used more strength than she should have. She hadn’t screwed up like that since rehab.
Royan didn’t seem to notice. He let her go, but instead of stepping back he moved in close. “I’m still not hearing a reason why.”
She fisted her hands at her sides and tried to curb her frustration. How could she make him understand? “You’re not hearing a reason you like. That’s not the same thing. Try listening to me! I’ve been telling you all the reasons since the day we met. I’m an Astor, and that name comes with responsibilities and expectations. The company comes first, Royan. Always.”
He swept his hair back with a frustrated swipe of his hand and locked eyes with her. “So that’s it? You never get to do anything for yourself ever again? That’s insane.”
“The company comes first.”
“You said that already, and it’s still bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit, it’s the truth. My truth. Making sacrifices is part of what it means to be an Astor.” Even as she said it, part of her wanted to scream in denial. She sounded just like her father. In fact, this entire fight was familiar ground for her, but somehow, she was on the other side of it. It all felt so wrong.
“If that’s the Astor way, then why isn’t your old man making sacrifices? Why is it always you? Hell, the only risk he’s taken lately is to send his daughter into danger. He risked your life, sweetheart. Not his, not some corporate lackey. Yours.”
“He warned me this would be dangerous, but I was the only one he trusted to get this done. You and Owen want me to save this place? I can do that, but only if you stop trying to distract me from what I need to do. You can’t have it all. No one can.”
“All, no, but we’re all entitled to a little happiness in our lives. Why can’t you see that? Why won’t you fight for it?”
“Maybe because you’re yelling at her, asshole.” Owen joined the fray, his voice tight with anger. He was barefoot and shirtless, but for once, his appearance didn’t distract her. She was too angry.
“I’m not yelling.”
“Really? Because your not yelling woke me up.”
“Good, maybe now you can help me talk some sense into Tianna. You walked away from your crazy family, same as I did. Why can’t she?”
“You want me to walk away? Really? And then what?” Her head hurt and her stomach was roiling. She didn’t feel right, but she couldn’t stop arguing.
“Then you start over. Here, with us.” Royan said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The disconnect between her heart and her brain worsened, and so did the pain in her head. “This is why being with you was always a bad idea. Fraxx, I was so stupid. I should have never let myself get involved with you two.”
“Don’t say that.” Owen was at her side in seconds, but when he reached for her hand she pulled away.
She knew what had to happen next, and if she touched either of them, it would be that much harder to do what she needed to. “It’s true, though. Getting close to you was a mistake. This is a distraction I don’t need right now, but fortunately, I can fix that.” She pointed to the door. “It’s time for you to go.”
“What? No. You can’t.” Royan looked at her with a broken expression. “Don’t do this.”
“We always knew this had to end. I let it go on too long as it is.” Every word hurt, but she knew how to deal with pain. She closed herself off, retreating behind the walls of ice she’d built around herself.
“Tia, it’s not safe. You’re still in danger. Let us stay and protect you,” Owen said.
“I have Corp-Sec to see to my protection. Two of them are outside that door right now, and you know there’s more downstairs. No one has seen any sign of Owen’s family or their ship, which means they’re not a threat. You did your jobs. I’m safe. Now it’s time you got back to the Sprite.
Royan shook his head. “This was never a job for us, sweetheart. Why are you being so damned stubborn?” He held out a hand to her. “All you have to do is say yes.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “If you don’t leave on your own, I’ll call the guards and have them escort you out.”
“Let us stay until morning, Tia. I’ll stay out here with Royan. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“Our things,” Royan said, clearly looking for any reason to stay.
“I’ll have it all sent to the Sprite in the morning, along with payment for your services.”
Owen flinched. “I don’t want your money. That was never what this was about.”
She weakened, just for a moment. “I know, but it’s all I can give you. Go, now, or I’ll have Tink call the guards.”
“Tianna, sweetheart…” Royan looked utterly lost.
“She’s made up her mind. Come on, Royan. We need to go.” Owen grabbed Royan’s wrist, towing him along as he made for the door.
Royan didn’t take his eyes off her until they passed through the door. Owen only looked back once. Both their expressions were exactly the same, burned into her memory forever as the door sealed behind them, cutting her off from her only friends.
“Fraxx. Fraxx. Fraxx!” She stormed out of the kitchen, not sure where she was going or what she wanted to do. She went to her office, sat, then stood back up again. Who was she kidding? She was in no state to focus on work.
She wandered from room to room, mind racing, fingers itching for something to do. There was no comfort to be found anywhere. This wasn’t her home, and there was nothing of her own here except a handful of clothes she’d brought with her from the Sprite.
She entered the room the guys had used with some half-formed thought about organizing their things so they could go first thing in the morning. Bad idea. She picked up one of their shirts then stood there, holding it tight as regret crashed over her in a wave. Fraxx it. She threw the shirt back onto the bed and retreated.
Nothing made sense. Why was she so upset when this had been her choice? The company came first. It had to. That was how things were. How they’d always been. Only, it hadn’t always been this way. Before the accident, things had been different. And look how that ended. She’d nearly died. Hell, technically she had died, more than once. To save her, her father had risked everything.
Royan wanted to know what sacrifice Cornelius Astor had made. What risks he’d taken. She couldn’t tell him the answer, but she knew. She carried the weight of it every second of every day. And that’s why she’d pushed them away. She owed her father everything, and she intended to repay him by being the woman he wanted her to be, no matter what the cost.
She stalked back to her bedroom, shedding her robe. “Tink, where’d you put the work out gear you ordered? I need to go blow off some steam.”
The AI didn’t answer, but a drawer slid open, revealing several outfits, all brand-new.
“Shoes?”
Another drawer opened.
“Tink, are you giving me the silent treatment?”
“Do you wish for me to speak to you right now? Usually, you prefer me to be quiet when you are in emotional distress.”
She pulled out her shoes kicked the drawer shut. “I am not in emotional distress.”
“Your behavior and bio signs indicate otherwise.”
“My bio signs are none of your business,” she snapped and finished dressing.
“Tink, find my workout playlist and pipe it through the speakers in my gym. And turn the gravity up in that area. I haven’t been able to work out properly for weeks.“
“Of course.”
She headed down a short flight of stairs to the private gymnasium one floor below. She needed to let loose, and for the first time in weeks, she was completely alone. She could push herself without worrying about being seen.
The music came on as she entered the room, a pounding, driving rhythm that matched her mood perfectly. The equipment was all standard, but the altered gravity would make for a challenging workout .
She started to stretch, already bouncing in time to the beat. Exercise would burn away the fog that clouded her mind and let her think clearly again. This was exactly what she needed.
“We should go back,” Royan said, pulling free of Owen’s grip as the mag-lift doors opened.
“And what? Do you think she’s going to let us back inside? Do you want to yell your apologies through the soundproofed door and hope she hears you?”
“She’ll let us back in. She has to.” Royan needed to believe there was something he could do to change things. It couldn’t end like this.
Owen shot him a look of disbelief mixed with frustration. “She doesn’t have to do anything. She’s Tianna fraxxing Astor. There are only two people who can make her do something, and both of them have the same last name.”
“But we’re supposed to be together. You see it too, right?” He couldn’t be the only one feeling this way. He’d felt the same way about Owen, and he’d been right. It had just taken Owen a while to come around. Tianna would be the same way.
“My feelings aren’t the issue here. Tianna’s are, and from what I saw back there you crushed them with all the finesse of a rogue comet smashing into a planet.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
Owen snorted then gestured to his bare chest and feet. “Really? She tossed us out on our asses in the middle of the night, half-dressed, because it wasn’t that bad?” Sarcasm dripped from every word.
“I just want her to give this thing between us a chance. We’re good together. We make her happy. She makes us happy. Why isn’t that enough?”
“For someone who has spent most of his life getting by on his charm, you really don’t have a clue how relationships work, do you?”
The doors opened and neither of them spoke again until they left the building. Royan spent the whole time trying to figure out what Owen meant. He had relationships. Plenty of them. Friends, family, hell, he and Owen were in a relationship and that was going pretty well.
Once they were outside, Royan said as much. “I know how relationships work. Tianna’s the problem here, not me. She wants us, but she won’t admit it.”
“I know she does.” Owen took his hand again, gentler this time. “Do you remember the day you decided to leave home?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” They walked as they talked, and it didn’t take long for Royan to figure out they were headed toward the Nova Club. With the Sun Sprite at the shipyard, it was the only logical place for them to go.
“Just answer the question.”
Royan thought back. It had been more than ten years ago, but the memory hadn’t faded. He’d managed to complete his final year at school, and the next day his parents had called a family meeting. Veth, he’d hated those things. No one ever listened. They just told him how it was going to be. Things had been different though. He was done with school and ready for something new. He knew what he wanted to do with his life, but when he told them, they ignored him and laid out their plans for his future. It hadn’t gone well. They’d fought, he’d gone to his room, packed a few things, and walked out.
Royan had moved onto the Sprite, and once he’d learned what he needed to from his dad and sister, he’d struck out on his own and never looked back.
“I remember.”
“What did you do when you left?”
“I called my dad to come and get me. You know this story, why are you making me repeat it?” Owen was taking a long time getting to the damned point, time they should be spending making a plan to get back to Tianna.
“Because you’re not getting it. When you left home, you already had a plan, and family to help you out. I’m not saying it was easy, but you weren’t alone.”
“True. But when you walked off the She Devil, you were alone. No plan. No family. You still did it. Why can’t she?”
“I walked off because my mother’s greed got my brother killed. Grief is a hell of a catalyst for change. If Connor hadn’t died, I might still be on that ship, hating every second of my life.”
“So, anger and grief are reasons to change, but love isn’t?”
Owen stopped in his tracks. “Love is why she’s staying.”
“That doesn’t make sense. If she loves us, she shou
ld be trying to be with us.”
Owen leaned in and kissed his forehead. “I don’t know if she loves us or not. I was talking about her father. She loves him. Everything she’s done is to get him to acknowledge her, for him to truly see her and tell her she’s good enough. I know what that’s like, and so do you.”
“It sucked engine fumes, which is why I left. We just need to make her see—"
Owen interrupted. “Cool your boosters. You tried that approach already, and look where it got us.”
His frustration boiled over into anger. “That’s because you weren’t backing me up. You took her side.”
Owen rumbled a low warning. “I get that you’re frustrated, but don’t take it out on me. I didn’t take anyone’s side. If this has any chance of working, there can’t be sides.”
He’d seen that much watching his friends work through the challenges of their relationships. Knowing something wasn’t the same as actually doing it, though. “Fraxx. Right. I knew that. I just forgot.”
“I know. You went charging ahead, full throttle, trying to make things happen by force of will and charm alone.” Owen squeezed his hand and they started walking again.
“In my defense, that usually works for me.” The station was as quiet as it ever got, but there were still beings everywhere. It was a testament to what kind of place the Drift was that no one looked twice at two men, one half naked, walking through the station hand in hand in the middle of the night cycle.
Owen was quiet for a second. “I know you think so, but that approach is one of the reasons I kept pushing you away.”
“What? No. I just needed time to convince you this was meant to be.”
“Is that what you think happened?” Owen chuckled and shook his head. “You didn’t convince me of anything, you lunatic. The more you pushed, the more I believed getting involved with you was a bad idea.”
“Yet, here we are. Together.”
“Yeah, because over time I got to know the real you. The slightly less cocky version. The man who cares so deeply about his friends and family he’d risk his life for them. That’s the man I fell in love with.”
