“Yeah, she said you wanted her to get an abortion.”
“What?” Jake yelled.
Holly heard the shock in his voice.
“Jake, what happened?”
“For fuck’s sake, Leo, you were there. I spent almost thirty fucking grand trying to find her, and that was for my expenses alone for those two months, not taking into account the fortune Derick made. PIs are not cheap. I’m not lying to you. I wanted the baby. You know me, you know what Holly meant to me. I didn’t get cold feet, I wanted them both. You know that! What did she say?”
Holly turned to Bernie, her eyes as wide as saucers. “Okay, this is getting too weird now.”
Bernie pursed her lips. “I agree. Do you want to see him?”
“He has no idea I’m here, does he?”
“Holly, I think maybe you need to hear him out. The old Jake? He’s been gone a while. But it sounds like he’s just returned. Maybe there is some crazy explanation for this.”
“What explanation, Bern? That Mara is behind this?”
“I always did tell you she was psycho.”
“She can’t be that much of a lunatic.”
Bernie merely raised her eyebrows.
Holly sighed. “This is a mess.” She took out her phone.
“You don’t need your mom. You have me,” Bernie stated. “He doesn’t need to know about Jamie. Tell him about Romalia, get the truth out first, Holly. Fuck, I told you ‘his truth’ already.”
“And it doesn’t make sense.”
“I know. But he was devastated, much as he seems now.”
Jake laughed. “It is what it is? She said that?”
“Oh, fuck.” Bernie closed her eyes. “Damn it, Leo.”
“You need to stop him, Bernie. He is going to tell him everything,” Holly hissed, panic rising in her belly.
“What were the other four words? Please, tell me.”
“I got to go.”
“I got to go?”
The men were silent for a while, and Holly chewed on her bottom lip as she stared at the door. She swallowed and took a steadying breath. “Fuck. Bernie, you need to get Leo back inside.”
Bernie reached the door with long strides and pulled it open. “Enough.”
“Go back inside, babe,” Leo warned. “I’ve got this.”
“You’ve got shit. He’s not even supposed to be here!”
“Seriously, Bernie, just like that? Did you forget how fucking hard that time was for me, knowing that she aborted my child?”
“Stop, right now. She almost fucking died, Jake. But you knew that.”
“Don’t.” His voice broke.
“Just get your asses inside this room, please.”
“Bernie…” Leo sounded resigned.
“It’s okay.”
Holly slipped into the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. She couldn’t see Jake, but she needed to hear what he had to say. The front door closed, but no one said a word.
Please, Leo, don’t ask where I am.
She sent a small prayer of thanks up to the heavens when he didn’t ask Bernie where she was.
“I loved Holly, Bern. I still do.”
“Then what are we doing here with that cow at this resort for the entire weekend, Jake?”
Holly heard Jake sigh.
“Pretending.”
“Are you stupid?” Bernie said derisively.
“What do you want me to say?”
To Holly’s ears, he didn’t even sound like the Jake she’d known anymore.
“My family had to deal with my idiocy for two years, Bernie. I treated them like shit. I saw their concerns every fucking day of my life. I knew I wasn’t going to be the same again and I couldn’t deal with their worries and pity anymore. So, I decided to hide it from them and get my life back on the track they wanted me to be on. That’s what we are doing here.”
“Tell me, then, why you said those words to Holly?” Bernie bit out.
“But I didn’t! I didn’t even speak to her that day as I was in surgery.” He paused for a beat before saying, “But I know who did.”
From where she stood listening, Holly scoffed at that. He did speak to her, and he most certainly said those words.
“Jake, Holly is adamant she spoke to you that day. She wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
“Bernie, I need her number. Please, give it to me. I have to tell her she didn’t speak to me that day.”
Holly heard Bernie groan. “But she did, Jake.”
“No, what she heard was a fucking recording. I did say those words, but not to her. I said them to my mother. I never told Holly I went to see my mother to sort everything out. That’s the only thing I fucked up on. I should have told her. That’s why I need to speak to her. I’ve been wanting to speak to her for four years, Bernie! But she just disappeared off the face of the earth.”
“What are you saying, Jake? That your mother is behind this?”
“You were there that night. Do you really think I have it in me to lie like that? To be that angry, to fuck up my BMW the way I did, to say those things to the two of you? Leo is my best fucking friend, just like Holly is yours. I need to know her version of events.” He sniffed. “Did my mother take her home that day?”
Bernie sighed. “No, she didn’t.”
“Why the fuck was Holly even there?”
“You texted her, telling her to meet you there.”
“I was in the fucking OR. My phone was in the locker. I told Amelia to keep an eye on her, but her phone got stolen at the gym and she had to sort that out. You were there, Bernie. You know all this.”
Holly frowned. Every word Jake uttered increased her heart rate. She hadn’t known he’d asked Amelia to keep an eye on her.
“I was going to propose to Holly. I’d even found a nice house for us, so we could be a family. Would I be here, begging you, if none of it was true? Come on, Bernie, do you really think I would be here if I hadn’t wanted the baby? Hadn’t wanted Holly?”
Tears blurred Holly’s eyes. She didn’t want to believe what he was saying, but she did. His mother had been behind it. That bitch of a woman was the reason she had a permanent ache in her heart.
Her daughter died because of Mara.
Holly tried to keep her tears at bay, but it was a struggle, and so she clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.
“Excuse me,” Bernie said, and the next thing Holly saw was the door opening and there stood Bernie, who threw her arms around Holly and stroked her back as her body shook with her sobbing.
“Is someone here?” Jake asked Leo.
For a moment, there was silence. Holly’s heart pounded—Leo was going to tell him.
“Holly didn’t phone Bernie, Jake. She’s a part of Frank’s instant family.”
Silence ensued.
Holly wasn’t surprised. What Jake was just told must be a huge fucking shock to him.
“It’s going to be okay,” Bernie whispered in her ear.
The door suddenly flung open, and Bernie tightened her grip on Holly.
Holly covered her face with her hand, burrowing into Bernie’s neck. She was not ready to face him just yet.
“Give us time, please,” Bernie pleaded.
The silence in the room was deafening.
“Jake, please, just a few minutes.”
As he didn’t say a word, Holly wasn’t sure if he was still in the room.
“Jake…seriously,” Bern finally said.
“Holly?” Her name was barely perceptible, his voice filled with disbelief.
“A few fucking minutes, please!” Holly snarled.
She heard the door close, and then the light came on overhead.
“Get out, now,” Jake demanded.
Holly heard Bernie sigh. “No. She said a few minutes.”
“Get out, Bernice. I need to speak to her and I need to do it now.”
It was Holly’s turn to sigh.
“Babe, you want me to s
tay?” Bernie asked her.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll be fine.”
Bernie gave her shoulder a squeeze. “We’ll be right outside.”
“Seriously? What do you think I’m going to do to her?” Jake snapped.
“We’ll be right…fucking…outside,” Bernie repeated sternly as she released Holly. “Play nice, Jake.”
The door opened and closed again, but Holly couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
Jake let out a sigh that sounded like it had been holding in all his frustrations.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” he croaked.
“Why?” She finally looked at him and as she did, Jake closed his eyes. But only for a second. When he opened them again, she said, “Because you told me that it is what it is, you got to go, Jake. After your mother told me you didn’t want me or the baby anymore. That you wanted me to get an abortion!”
Jake’s head dropped until his chin hit his chest, and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I never said that.”
“It was your voice on the phone; your phone. And it wasn’t just that. It made sense why you didn’t want us anymore. You were distant that entire month.”
“I was tired.”
She shook her head, her eyes trained on the ground at her feet.
“I tried to find you, Holly, I really did. Where were you?”
“In Seattle. My father lives there.”
“You went to your fucking father? You couldn’t wait to talk to me to confirm all the bullshit?” Every word he spoke rang with controlled anger. “Look at me, Holly.”
She still couldn’t do that.
“What happened after you left?” he asked.
Her head snapped up. “What do you think happened, Jake?” She blinked rapidly to clear her blurred vision. “Without access to your father’s shake, I almost didn’t make it.” Her lower lip trembled so much that she averted looking at him by glancing down at the floor again.
“I couldn’t keep her inside longer. Everything came crashing down at twenty-five weeks.”
“No. No-no-no,” Jake mumbled, his voice breaking.
“What did you think would happen?” She looked up at him, but he wasn’t standing in front of her anymore. He was crouching, clutching his head between his hands.
Was he telling the truth? He sure was acting like someone in pain.
His shoulders shook, and her heart dropped. She’d never seen him cry before and had no idea how to handle it.
“Jake,” she whispered. “We don’t have to talk about this now. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep her in longer.”
He was crying openly now, and she had to swallow down the sobs that threatened to escape from her own mouth. Seeing Jake now, and even when she’d just heard his voice earlier, tore her still injured heart apart all over again.
Leo and Bernie entered the bedroom, and one look at his friend had Leo rushing over to Jake.
Bernie glanced over at Holly and mouthed, Jamie?
Holly shook her head.
“Bud, I’m so sorry,” said Leo.
“I’ll kill her, I swear. I’ll fucking rip her heart out!”
Holly froze, fear coursing through her veins. She’d tried to keep their baby. She knew now that running away had not been the answer, but for him to say those words…
“Calm down. He’s not talking about you, Holly,” Bernie reassured her, hugging her tightly as she looked over at Jake. “I’ll fucking help you do it.”
“Bernie!” Leo snapped.
“You were not there that night, Leo. She lied right to our faces. She didn’t give a shit what she was doing to him.”
Holly looked at Bernie with panic in her eyes. “We’re talking about Mara, sweetie. There’s no need to panic.”
“Didn’t you guys call all the hospitals?” Leo asked.
Holly’s forehead creased in confusion.
“Yeah, but my mother was helping,” Jake said. “And I can tell you that no Seattle hospitals were on my list.”
“Fuck, Jake.”
“She probably never picked up that fucking phone.” He pushed up off the floor and staggered to the bathroom.
“You need to tell him about Jamie, Holly,” Leo stated. “I told you none of it made any fucking sense. You made me doubt him.”
Holly was still in shock. This meant her what if was real, that he had in fact wanted them. And now…
Shit, he knew Frank. Her mom had said that his brother’s son wanted to propose. He’d meant Jake, because Ben was still too little. But then, what Jake had told Bernice when she’d asked him what they all were doing here, didn’t make sense. He’d said he was pretending.
What did that even mean? That he didn’t really want to propose?
Deep, guttural sobs came from the bathroom.
Holly placed her hand on her chest as fresh tears gathered.
Leo let out a deep sigh and made his way over to the bathroom.
Bernie turned to Holly. “Leo is right, Holly. You need to tell him about Jamie.”
“But she knows about him.”
“He clearly wanted you all. Maybe one of the others could verify this. If he spoke to Mara, maybe one of his sisters was there, or his father. Gus was heartbroken when that woman told him the shake wasn’t working for you.”
“How could she do that to her own husband, and then watch his pain over what he must have thought was a failure?” Holly asked, her voice trembling.
“Not all mothers are as sane as us.”
“It’s a lot to take in, Bern.”
“I know. Do you want to sleep on it?”
“You won’t say a thing?”
“I won’t. And neither will Leo.”
Holly squeezed her eyes shut. “Thank you.”
“I think it’s best if you left now. Jake won’t let you leave when he comes out of the bathroom. We’ll handle him. And I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”
Holly nodded as she hurried out of their room. Sobs tore out of her with every step she took back to her cabin.
What ifs did exist.
Five
JAKE
He felt as if he were drowning.
Holly was here, right under his nose. She had been for a long time. So close, and yet, so far away.
Why hadn’t Frank said something? Jake shook his head. Frank probably hadn’t known. How could he have known?
Frank must have met Holly’s mom later, after his baby died, so he couldn’t have known.
A little girl.
“Bud, it’s going to be okay. I’m here if you need anything.”
“If I need anything?” Jake scoffed. “I can’t believe you thought so poorly of me, Leo. That I could do what you’ve believed to be true all along.”
“I’m sorry. Bern can be very persuasive, and listening to Holly’s story, seeing the evidence, it was hard to believe otherwise. I didn’t want to, though. Why do you think I phoned you? Bern didn’t want me to. But I’m glad I did. Now we know. Well, most of it.”
Evidence? Holly must have shown them her C-section scar.
“You need to speak to her, get everything out in the open.”
“She’s never going to forgive me. I doubt she even buys this story that my father’s wife is behind this.”
Leo widened his eyes in shock.
“Bud, she is still—”
“No, don’t you dare say it. She watched me day in and day out, yearning, breaking apart. She could’ve told me the truth at any given time if she’d wanted to. But she didn’t. She kept up with this lie, continued to feed it. Now I know why she was so adamant to get my father to work on the shake again. It was probably the only thing riding her, knowing he’d worked more than a decade on it. All that hard work, and she forced him to throw it all away. I can’t do this.”
“You can, you are strong.”
“I lost my daughter, Leo. You don’t know…” He shook his head and gave in to his tears.
“You’re
right, I don’t know, but I know it must hurt like a bitch. I’m so sorry.” He held Jake tight. “You need to speak to Holly.”
Jake nodded, stumbling to his feet. At the sink, he splashed water onto his face.
Leo left the bathroom after giving him a pat on the back.
Jake could hear their voices as he stared at himself in the mirror. Tears welled in eyes. He’d wanted the baby. Wanted Holly. He still did.
He should never have done what he did. Giving her Amelia’s fertility drugs instead of her birth control had been wrong and deceitful. He should’ve just waited, but he’d wanted her to be his forever and ever, and he’d thought a baby would seal the deal. He’d been so fucking wrong.
His phone rang in his pocket—it had been ringing almost incessantly since he’d left the party—but he ignored it. He knew it was either Kate or that wretched woman, or one of his other nagging relatives.
He didn’t care anymore.
Holly was here. And with her being here, it was clear that he was far from being over her, though he’d known that all along. It was why he’d screwed every strawberry-blond who’d flirted with him.
As soon as he saw her, he’d closed his eyes, as he’d done many a time, only to remind himself he didn’t have to do that anymore. She would still be Holly when he opened them.
She was still as breathtakingly beautiful as she’d always been, even while she was a mess. And as far as he was concerned, she remained high up on the pedestal he’d put her on, where she should have been all this time.
His lungs filled with air. He felt bad he’d called her a bitch. And that he’d been so angry with Leo and Bernie for introducing them to each other.
She was back and he wasn’t going to let her go, not this time.
He’d give her space, and time. He didn’t care if it took years.
He’d gotten his ‘get out of jail free’ card.
Finally.
He could live again, stop the pretense, but it was going to be hard. His second chance had come with a huge price; his daughter was dead.
He swallowed past the lump in his throat. He needed to talk to Holly and get all the facts, before he went to speak to the woman he’d called mother all his life, the woman he’d trusted.
He splashed more cold water on his face and pulled himself together as best as he could. Then, he opened the bathroom door and stepped out. But the bedroom was empty. He heard quarreling coming from the lounge, which quickly died down when he emerged from the bedroom.
Luck Page 5
