Both she and Parker deserved better, but he didn’t have it in him to be worthy of their love. He stepped farther into the room but didn’t sit.
“So what is the latest on Derrick?” He clung to the knowledge Lacey would be safe.
Dean set down his glass and nodded his gratitude to Lacey. “He’s been working at the university in grounds-keeping for a couple of years now. He hasn’t admitted it yet, but we suspect hearing about you having not one, but two successful careers, has eaten away at what little self-respect he had. Anger over that incident years ago, the damage done to his hand, and jealousy over your success has eaten away any decency he might have ever had.”
“I don’t think he had any to begin with. And that incident in college was every bit his fault. He’s the only one to blame for his injury and expulsion from school.” Ryan could see how in a twisted way it might make sense to someone as selfish as Derrick but it disgusted him that Lacey and Parker were the ones who were hurt by it.
“What happened back then?” He’d forgotten Lacey had no idea who Derrick was.
“Parker and Derrick were on the university’s baseball team. Derrick was a spoiled rich-kid pitcher and Parker was the team’s catcher. Parker attended on a full ride scholarship that he had to fight hard for. He earned it. At a frat party Parker stumbled upon Derrick attempting to rape one of the cheerleaders. He broke it up and a fight started. Derrick injured his right hand somewhere in the midst of the fight. Sara, the cheerleader, did the right thing and pressed charges, ending Derrick’s reign as star player. Last I heard he got out on a plea deal after serving little time, but his father kicked him out and cut off all funds.”
“Ryan left out the part where at least three or four of my supposed teammates were beating me to a bloody pulp and he jumped in and saved my ass and Sara’s. If he hadn’t stepped up for a me, a stranger to him at the time, they could have killed me that night and who knows what hell they would have forced on Sara.”
“I don’t care who he knows or what kind of connections he might have had in the past, there’s enough evidence and motive that convicting him should be a cakewalk.” Tall, broad-shouldered and all business, Steve turned to Parker. “We’ll take care of everything, you concentrate on getting better. The department won’t be the same until you’re whole and back at work.”
“I’ve got to be going, too. I’ll be headed out of town for a few days to catch up on some work. Parker, Lacey, I enjoyed our romp at the cabin. Maybe I’ll see you around later.” His mouth dried and blood roared in his ears.
Parker looked at him like he was from another planet. Sweet to the core, Lacey spoke as he dug for his keys. He needed to make his exit fast. “Ryan, Parker’s hurt and I’ll be going back to work. I thought you’d be able to watch over him.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. He’ll be fine.” Those deep, honey eyes stared back at him full of confused suspicion but it was better she think him a selfish low-life than he taint her world with his dark stain.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” God, the pain in her voice sliced him open.
“Look, if you really think he can’t function on his own, I’ll pay another nurse to watch over him.”
When her mouth dropped open, a hole the size of Texas opened in his heart.
“Man, what’s wrong with you?” Parker, hell, now both of them knew him too well. They’d backed him into a corner and their concerned faces shredded him. He was trying to dump Lacey, well, both of them really and they weren’t letting him.
“That whole ménage experiment just wasn’t my kind of thing. It’s not in me to share with anyone. Maybe I’ll see you later.” The only sound in the room was the crack of a bat hitting a foul ball on the TV. He didn’t dare look at any of their faces as he turned to leave. He had no doubt that everyone in the room got his message. He would have preferred to make his exit without an audience but maybe having onlookers witness him acting the part of the biggest asshole on the planet would make the slap more successful.
He’d gutted himself in there and wouldn’t be able to make that kind of sacrifice ever again. This break had to be permanent.
* * * *
What. The. Fuck. Had Ryan really done what he thought? As difficult as it was to believe, it was the only possibility. Stupid man. Did he think outing him in front of his partner and Captain would make the sting hurt more? They didn’t give a shit what he did on his off time as long as came in to work and did his job. And Ryan, dumbfuck that he had proven himself to be again, would probably be surprised to know that he wasn’t the only one in the department with a not-so-traditional relationship.
Whatever. He’d hope like hell his friend would come to his senses but he had more important things to worry about, like Lacey’s broken heart.
* * * *
Well. He’d certainly put her in her place, hadn’t he? He’d dropped her bags in the entryway, stayed just long enough to insure everything was wrapped up safely, insulted her and Parker, and turned his tail and ran.
Asshole. She was so damn tired of dealing with assholes. And they were everywhere she turned.
She’d truly thought better of Ryan. She’d also thought he’d had more respect for her than that. Apparently she’d been wrong.
“You follow your discharge instructions to the letter or I will hunt you down and make sure you regret it. Okay?” She put on her best I-can-get-through-this-disaster smile and picked up her tote bag and her keys. She needed to go home and find peace and quiet in her own space before she had to face the real world.
“Lacey, I don’t want you to reinjure your side. Let me carry your things out to the car, hang on.” Parker made a move to get up.
“Don’t you dare. I can get them on my own, but I’m sure Dean won’t mind helping me so you won’t have to fuss. He’s going to check in on you and make sure you’re following orders, too. Right, Dean?”
There was only the briefest of pauses before Dean caught on. “Yeah, sure. Not a problem.”
If they moved quickly, she just might make it to her car before the tears escaped and that angered her almost as much as Ryan had. She waved the men off, without giving them more than a glance. Come hell or high water, she’d keep her composure. At least she would until she was out of sight. She and her pride had taken enough abuse to match a month’s worth of shifts in the emergency room.
First, she’d faced down Derrick, been told that Parker had been murdered, been shot at, confronted by her ex in an ugly public scene, then she’d been dumped and insulted by Ryan. With a mere few words he’d reduced the time they’d spent together to nothing but a tawdry fling. And yes, maybe things had begun that way, but she’d thought by the week’s end, he had feelings for her, too.
But as often as he’d pulled her close then pushed her away, who knew what the man had been thinking?
She pulled into her driveway, turned off the car and let the tears fall. She’d earned them and wouldn’t allow herself to feel any shame for shedding them. She grabbed her tote and headed for the house.
She would take a hot bath, wallow in her tears, and go to bed. Ryan and Parker had taken up too much of her thoughts and the time had come to move on. If only the knowledge could somehow lessen the pain.
She unlocked the door and paused when she heard the TV.
Parker must have left it on when he’d stayed the night in his idiotic plan to catch Derrick. Baseball. Really? She couldn’t even escape the memories in her own home.
“Hey, sis. How are you holding up?”
Shocked to her core, she dropped her bag and screamed. When realization hit, the sobs started. When what should have been a big dose of happy piled on everything else, somehow the relief of knowing he was home and safe only added to the mess of emotion in her heart.
“Hey now. Do I look that bad? I showered and shaved.” Strong arms tenderly pulled her into an easy hug. She smashed her head into his chest and let it all out. “Who do I get to murder?”
“Oh, n
o. Don’t even say that word jokingly.” She shook her head, drew away, and pulled herself together. “Sit and give me a minute.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you, but I thought when you heard the TV on, you’d know it was me. What gives?” Any other day and he would have been right. He had a habit of sneaking in whenever he came home. She’d always known that when she came home and found the TV on, he’d be there. Today, the shock had been the final straw.
“Long story. I’ll explain if you promise to keep your cool.”
“No deal. Something or somebody made you cry. I won’t yell at you, but I’m not promising I won’t get mad.”
She headed to bathroom to wash her face and think for a minute. There was no way around it. He would be murderous but it would be best if he heard it from her. He’d pull strings and dig and sniff until he found the whole story and maybe by telling her side of things she could dampen his anger.
Maybe. Hopefully.
Chapter 24
He looked at the screen of his cell phone. His mother. She’d called three times today and he knew he’d have to answer soon or else she’d start calling in favors. There weren’t many people who’d refuse his mother anything.
He threw his empty beer bottle in the trash and contemplated getting another and then his stomach grumbled. He hadn’t eaten in two days. He should probably fix that or switch to something stronger to drink. The beer wasn’t doing its job.
He still felt. And it hurt like a bitch.
Maybe if he knew that Parker and Lacey were happy it would ease the ache. He couldn’t bear to talk to either one, but Parker would probably answer a text.
How’s your head? Are you and Lacey okay?
He set his phone down and went to make a sandwich. He wasn’t sure he could eat more than a few bites, but he needed to get his act together.
His phone chimed, alerting him a new text arrived. He ignored it and layered on a few pieces of turkey. His phone chimed twice more. He finished constructing his sandwich and put everything away.
Dread set like a heavy stone in his gut. Did he want to read his messages? No. But he needed to. What if Parker wasn’t okay? Lacey would make sure he got to the hospital, but stranger things had happened. He should be fine. He had to be okay.
But what if they needed something?
The phone chimed again, a reminder that he was a dumbass who needed to check his messages. He forced himself to take a bite. It tasted like cardboard.
He forced himself to take another bite, then carried the plate in with him to sit and look at his phone.
My head is fine, asshole. The first message from Parker.
I don’t know about Lacey. Went home two days ago and won’t take my calls. Asked Dean to check on her.
He said big guy, looked military, answered her door and said she was fine. Left a message—“Tell the assholes who spent the week with her to stay the fuck away.”
Good going. Dick.
He dialed Parker’s number and waited, impatiently. This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go.
Without the courtesy of a hello, Parker leapt on him. “What the fuck were you thinking, man? You had to have cut her to the bone with that snarky-ass comment. Hell, you cut me to the bone with it. As sensitive as she is, who knows how badly you hurt her?”
“I was giving you Lacey. You were supposed to sweep in and rescue the girl, dumbass. You don’t know anything about how she is?” He couldn’t hide the heartache in his voice.
“Dean stopped by the hospital yesterday on another case and she had already gone back to work. She told him she was fine and just wanted to be left alone. He asked her friend Carrie about the guy at her house and Carrie says it’s probably her brother. So at least she’s not alone.”
Alone. He’d never thought that Lacey would end up alone, but that’s how she would be when her brother left to go on his next clandestine adventure, wherever that might be.
He disconnected the call without another word and set his barely touched food down.
His gut roiled. She was supposed to be happy in Parker’s arms, not alone. The thought of anyone he loved alone made him nauseous and yeah, he loved Lacey.
In one stupid ass move he’d thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him and his best friend when what he really needed to do was hold them both closer.
* * * *
Dean slid into the booth across from him in the greasy spoon down the block from the Birch Springs Police Department. Ryan was glad to see some of the strain seemed to have eased from the man’s features since he’d last seen him. The dark circles under his eyes were still present but had at least faded. His hair looked recently cut and today’s tie matched his shirt.
“What’s this about, Ryan?” He hadn’t known Dean long, but in that time, he’d never been one to beat around the bush. They knew each other through Parker, but that was the extent of their relationship. The man had probably been suspicious at the first word he’d spoken to him through the telephone.
“I need to apologize. I fucked up the other day and need to make amends. I’m sorry I lashed out and dragged you into my shitpool.”
Dean’s lips pressed into a hard line. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to.”
“You’re not the only one, but yes, I do need to at least offer one. I behaved like a total ass and everything I said was bullshit. So I guess that makes me an ass and a liar.”
“Did you mean what you said about ménage and unconventional relationships?”
“No. Never. Truthfully, I was scared and I lashed at out the people who mean the most to me. You happened to witness my ugliness.”
“There are a lot more people who live outside what’s considered normal or acceptable than you might expect. I would have thought that someone in your profession would be more open-minded. A good woman should be cherished with love that has no boundaries.” Was there a hidden message beneath the odd tone Dean used?
“You’re right on all accounts. I let my fear cripple me and instead of fighting it or asking for help from the ones I love, I fucked up and hurt them both.”
“Where’s your next stop?”
“Parker’s then Lacey’s. I have more crow to eat.”
“Parker was right. You are a good man beneath it all.”
“How will everyone in the department treat him when word spreads? You know it will eventually.”
“Overall things will be fine. You will have the occasional asshole.” The pointed look Dean gave him would stop a juggernaut in his tracks. “But when it comes down to it, everyone likes Parker and wants him to be happy. And he’s not happy now.”
“I hope to fix that.”
“Good. Do it soon.”
* * * *
“Hi there. You must be Carrie. Come on in. Parker’s in his usual spot on the couch and no less growly today. Maybe the sight of a pretty face will soften his bite.” Huh. Glen was in an awfully chatty mood today. Though he was sharp as a tack with a gut-instinct that was creepy in its accuracy, it wasn’t often the man said much more than three-word sentences. Parker scratched his head as the detective stood at the open door and played host with the most.
What was the world coming to? Derrick, in an angry rant had confessed everything earlier that day and Glen had stopped by to share the news while Dean had stayed on to finish up the details. Parker suspected that the visit had been as good an excuse as any to check up on him. Heaven help him, being a good patient had exhausted him. There were only so much sports TV and good intentioned well-wishers a man could handle before he went mad.
Ryan had gone MIA, probably with his tail tucked behind his legs. Parker’d imagined the idiot hiding in his cabin and sulking. Lacey wouldn’t take his calls and now the typically stone-cold Glen chatted up her friend. And Carrie was pretty enough, though her eyes weren’t as bright as Lacey’s. Then again, a supermodel could have walked through his door and he wouldn’t have given her a second look. He was sunk, totally over the moon
in love with Lacey and this not knowing how she was ate away at his patience.
“Parker, I gotta get back to the station. Carrie, thanks again for stopping by to check on him.” Was Glen a chatterbox because he was smitten with the nurse or because he sensed her mood?
Even without the stern frown on her pretty face, she threw off tension and disapproval in heavy waves as she nodded Glen off and walked the rest of the way inside.
Shit. Somehow, he’d made an enemy of Lacey’s friend. He resisted the urge to shift in his seat like a schoolboy in trouble when she sat beside him.
“Any nausea?” Ah. Straight to business. He could handle that.
“No, really, I feel fine. I hate that you wasted your time to check on me. How is she?” He couldn’t stand the not knowing and there was no sense in pretending Carrie didn’t know what had happened.
“She was quiet, maybe even sad, when I saw her yesterday.” Carrie stared him directly in the eye and it was a moment before he realized she was checking his pupils and not giving him a stare down. She stood and gentle hands held his head while he assumed she checked his wound and staples.
“Carrie, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have hurt her for the world.”
“From what I understand, it wasn’t you who did the damage, but Ryan.”
“That’s true, mostly. I love her. I want her back.”
Her gaze softened a fraction as she looked down at him.
“Give her some time. She has a soft heart and needs some time to breathe. Maybe then you can try again. But if you hurt her, make her cry a single tear, remember that I am very familiar with the human body and know many, many ways to make a man cringe. I don’t care if you are a police officer. You hurt her, you’ll regret it.”
“I already do.”
* * * *
In his car, he came up on Parker’s house as a small white two-door pulled out of the driveway and drove off in the opposite direction. He caught a glimpse of what he thought might have been a female driver, but even in that brief moment, he knew she wasn’t Lacey.
Lacey Temptations [Crave 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 18
