I looked deep into his eyes, and for some reason, I couldn’t explain, I felt comfortable under his stare.
“He was abusive towards me,” I finally said, and it felt like a weight was slowly being lifted from my shoulders. I had refused to say those words out loud for so long, that it felt good to finally get them off my chest. Thorn reached a hand out to stroke my knee. His touch was warm and comforting, and nothing about the way he held my knee was sexual and yet it was the sexiest thing anyone had ever done. I couldn’t explain it, but I was ready to throw myself right into his arms.
“In what way was he abusive? Verbally?” he asked, and I gulped. Thorn seemed like he was growing angrier by the second.
“Yes, he was verbally abusive…and…and,” I tried to get the word out, but it was stuck in my throat. I couldn’t say it, not even to the man I trusted most right now.
“Physically?” he asked, and I couldn’t do more than just nod. I couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. I looked away from him in shame and Thorn stroked my knee again.
I never told anyone about my relationship with Ryan. When my friends or family asked, I would always just say that things ended badly. None of them really needed to know the whole truth.
I gulped and looked back into Thorn’s eyes as I felt tears threaten to fall down my face. I had hidden my bruises and scars from Ryan for years, and this letter was now resurfacing all of that pain that I had carefully hidden away in my mind.
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of it, Ensley. If there is anyone who should be ashamed, it’s that fucking jerk of an ex-boyfriend of yours. No woman has ever done anything, in the history of time, to deserve to be verbally or physically abused by a man. I need you to understand that and stop blaming yourself,” Thorn said. I stared at him as he spoke. I had never imagined those words coming from his mouth. He created such a different persona around him, and yet I was right about him having a strong moral sense.
I nodded my head in agreement. Thorn was right.
It took years, but I had finally started to realize that everything that Ryan had made me feel was wrong. Ryan had a way of manipulating me to believe in what he thought. He would always tell me how stupid I was and that my dreams of acting were a waste of time.
When I finally started to think for myself, it took me six months to get up the courage to leave him. And with me moving to Los Angeles, I thought he was finally out of my life. But now, with this letter, I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me again.
“I know that, which is why I got away but sometimes, all of the pain I felt rushes back, and I get scared,” I said, in a low whisper and Thorn clenched his jaw.
“Of course, you’re scared, you have every right to be. He’s threatening you!” he exclaimed, and with that, he straightened himself up and shook a hand through his hair.
“How did you manage to get away from him? Men like him don’t usually let their victims go so easily,” he continued, and I licked my lips nervously.
I looked down at my lap as the memories I tried to forget came flooding back into my mind.
Ryan and I had gotten angry with me. He was upset that I had gone to another audition. Ryan thought that my dreams of being an actress were stupid and childish and he always liked to remind me that I would amount to nothing. He blamed me for us struggled to pay rent, even though I was working two jobs while still going to auditions. He, on the other hand, was stuck at a dead-end job, that he refused to leave.
That night when I walked back into our apartment, he was drunk. I should have known he would have been, but I was tired after my early morning audition and then late night shift. I didn’t know it when I walked in, but my publicist had left me a voicemail on our answering machine saying that the casting director loved my audition and wanted to see me for callbacks. Ryan heard the voicemail, and he was stewing in anger by the time I got back home.
The second I walked in the door, he started yelling. I tried to yell back but that only made it worse. That is when he started hitting me.
He smacked me across the face, and I will never forget the intense pain his hand left behind. Once he hit me, it was like something snapped in him, and he was only left with drunken rage. He continued to hit me. In my ribs. In my stomach. Then he finally punched me in the face making my eye swell shut.
Once I was a crying mess on the floor, he finally stopped. He said nothing and staggered back to the living room, grabbing another beer on his way. I stayed on that kitchen floor for hours. I was too terrified to move.
Finally, he passed out, and that is when I got enough courage to pick myself up off the floor. Without a second thought, I went to the bedroom, shoved as many clothes as I could in a backpack and then snuck out. I headed straight to the police station and filed a restraining order and then went to stay with my cousins in Long Island.
Thorn’s hand caressed my knee again, and I looked back up at him.
“I took out a restraining order against him. He’d given me a black eye, and I was afraid for my life,” I said, and Thorn nodded his head. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the whole story, not yet anyway.
“Good, that’s very good,” he said, and I could feel the tops of my cheeks turning red.
“But that was in New York, I don’t know if the police can help me here,” I said and Thorn’s brows crossed. Within the span of just a few minutes, I had told this stranger nearly everything important there was to know about me.
“You were in New York?” he asked, and I drew in a deep breath.
“That’s where I lived all my life. I moved to LA five years ago. I don’t have any family here, barely any friends,” I explained and Thorn continued staring at me.
“Did you move to LA to get away from him?” he asked, and I looked away from him. It was time that he knew who I really was. There was no use in hiding it from him anymore.
“In a way, yes, but I always wanted to move to LA. I wanted to pursue a career in acting,” I admitted shyly and Thorn came towards me again. His face had lightened up a little, he looked a little less enraged now.
“The big dream, huh?” he said, and I gathered the courage to finally smile.
“Well, it’s not just a dream anymore. I recently landed a big role on a show. It’s called Failing at Love, but something tells me that you’ve never heard of it,” I said, still smiling faintly and Thorn rubbed a hand through his hair again. Almost apologetically.
“No, I haven’t, but it gives me a good idea of why and how this guy found you again,” he said, and I bit down on my lip nervously.
“Yeah, I’d never thought of it like that. I had thankfully not heard from him in five years. I was hoping that he just moved on and forgot about me. Now that I have this role and there is some publicity around me, I guess he noticed,” I said, and Thorn started pacing the room, while I followed him with my eyes.
“Guys like him don’t ever just give up. To him, you were his property, and you slipped through his fingers. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by, he’s going to keep trying to retrieve his property. That’s just the way these guys are wired,” Thorn explained.
I felt another cry rise up in me, and he sensed it too because he came rushing towards me again. He moved up to the couch and placed his arms on shoulders, and I leaned into him.
“I came to LA to get away from him and to pursue my passion. Ryan was always dead against me getting into acting. When I was free from him, I finally felt like I could do what I wanted. That I was finally independent,” I cried and covered my face with my hands.
I didn’t expect Thorn to bend down and wrap his arms tighter around me. He held me close to himself, and I breathed in his natural masculine scent. Our bodies grazed, and even though he was hugging me, he was holding me at a distance. It was clear to me that he wanted me to know he wasn’t making any sort of advances.
I cried on his shoulder for a few minutes, while he gently stroked my back. I couldn’t have imagined that a big muscular man like him could b
e capable of this kind of tenderness.
After a few minutes, I was embarrassed by crying again, and I gently pulled myself away. Thorn straightened himself up and stared down at me, concern filling his eyes.
It was then that the idea struck me. It was probably because I noticed the helmet on the floor and the leather cut he was wearing. I remembered that he belonged to a motorcycle club.
“Can I pay you to protect me?” the words came blurting out of me, and Thorn’s brows crossed again in confusion.
“Say that again,” he said, and I could feel the excitement mounting up in me. Suddenly, all my fears were gone. Like they had never existed in the first place.
“You belong to a biker gang. A club. I’m sure you guys do this sort of thing all the time, don’t you?” I asked him, and Thorn stared at me without any response.
“What if I pay your club money to act as my bodyguards until I start feeling safe again? I don’t think the police would be able to make me feel as safe as having protection twenty-four-seven would,” I said, and Thorn still looked as confused as when I first suggested it.
I jumped off the couch and stepped towards him with excitement. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t thought of this before. It was the perfect plan. I had never felt as safe with anybody else, as I felt in the presence of Thorn. I was sure that his biker friends would make me feel the same. When I was scared an hour ago, the first thing I had done was call him.
“You want to pay me to protect you?” he asked, the realization finally hitting home. I nodded my head excitedly.
“You and your Club. I know it’s not a one-man job. You can quote me a price. You can decide how much you want to charge me and I’ll be willing to pay it,” I said, and a smile was forming on my face.
The only thing was that I wasn’t sure what he thought of the idea.
Chapter 13
Thorn
I have never wanted to protect someone more. Everything that Ensley had said to me about Ryan had made me angry. I didn’t want to think about the things she must have gone through with him. He was physically and verbally abusive to her. He had given her a black eye. She was afraid for her life. I could feel the rage pumping through my veins.
But now, she had suggested paying the club and me to protect her. That wasn’t something I had thought about before. I was willing to offer her protection for free. I had landed up here, in the middle of the night because I wanted her to be safe. The fact that she might be willing to pay for that safety hadn’t occurred to me.
“I’m sorry, Thorn, I didn’t mean to offend you,” I heard her say. Her voice had snapped me out of my thoughts.
Ensley was standing in front of me now, in a pair of pink silk pajamas that hung smoothly from her slender body. She had tied her golden hair up in a messy bun on the top of her head. From the moment I’d walked into her apartment; I’d noticed that she had no makeup on and somehow, she looked even more beautiful now than she had at the bar.
There was something so natural and honestly beautiful about her. It wanted me to keep her safe even more.
“You haven’t offended me. I’m just thinking about your offer,” I told her. She had her expectant blue eyes turned towards me, and I saw them soften a little now. She was worried that I was going to say no.
“That’s okay. I’m sure you all are busy men, and keeping guard over me isn’t exactly on the top of your priority list,” she said, and a small, weak laugh escaped her lips. I watched as she turned away from me and stepped back to the couch. She settled down in one corner of it again, and she looked angelic as she sat there like that.
“That’s not what I’m thinking. I just have to offer the idea to my brothers and see what they think of it. We have never done anything like this before, and I don’t know if they’ll be up for it,” I said, in all honesty.
This was a good idea. Offering bodyguard services to an upcoming actress in LA was exactly the kind of legit gig that we were looking for. It was what the club needed. This wasn’t something that the cops or anybody else could point fingers at us for. However, it was the kind of work that none of my brothers had expected to get involved in. Protecting a damsel in distress? It wasn’t our ideal job.
Ensley caught me thinking, and she forced a smile on her face.
“I get it. It’s okay if your brothers don’t agree to this,” she said. I looked at her and nodded my head in thought.
“I’m going to put it to the vote first thing tomorrow morning and get back to you,” I said, and she forced that weak smile on her face again.
I turned from her, and picking the helmet off the floor, I walked to her door.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Ensley. I just wanted to come over and check on you,” I said. She remained sitting on the couch. Her face had suddenly turned deathly pale. I got the feeling that she almost didn’t want me to go. But what was there for me to do now?
I’d come over and checked on her. There were no signs of her being watched right now, and I was worried that I had already overstayed my welcome. It was obvious that she thought of me as more of a business prospect than a man in her bed.
“Thank you for doing this, Thorn, you didn’t have to,” she said in a meek voice. As I stared at her, I could see that there were tears welling up in her eyes again. I couldn’t stand the thought of her crying.
I decided to let go of all my pride. It was my pride that had made me walk away from her at the bar earlier, and I didn’t want to do it again.
“I’ll stay if you want me to,” I said, and her eyes lit up.
“Stay,” she said before I had even finished the sentence.
I placed the helmet down on the floor again and walked towards the couch. She tucked her feet underneath her legs as she settled on the couch. Her eyes were still bloodshot, even though she looked happier now that I had suggested staying, she still seemed upset.
I sat down beside her on the couch.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to assume you’re working for me now. I’ll give you a chance to talk to your club first,” she said, in a small quivering voice. The tears were filling up in her eyes. I could see that she was miserable with fear and I wanted to do everything in my power to make her stop feeling so scared.
“I don’t want you to worry either. If they vote against it tomorrow, I’ll do it myself,” I said.
Ensley’s brows furrowed, adding a girlish more innocent look to her face.
“What do you mean?” she asked, and a grin tugged the corners of my mouth.
“I’ll be by your side, protecting you, till you start feeling more confident about your safety again. I’m going to sniff that asshole out and make him stop threatening you,” I said, and without warning, Ensley threw her arms around my neck, pulling herself to me.
It was like the wind had knocked out of me. Holding someone in my arms had never felt like this before. She looked up at me, deep into my eyes, and the tears were gone. Her face was flushed, and her blue eyes were bright again.
“Thank you, Thorn. You have no idea how this makes me feel. How grateful I am to you. I wasn’t sure how I could ever leave the house tomorrow knowing that Ryan was out there, probably watching me from somewhere,” she said, and I kept holding her tightly in my arms.
Having her like that, with our bodies so close together, felt natural somehow. I could feel a movement in my pants again. The touch of her silk pajamas against my skin sent a shock down my spine. No woman had made me feel this weak before.
My gaze traveled down to her lips as she spoke, then back up at her sparkling eyes again.
“You don’t need to keep thanking me, Ensley. I want to do this. That is why I’m here,” I said, and I watched as she tenderly licked her lips.
She was watching me too. Her eyes were roaming over my face, while I drank in the shape of her luscious pink lips, the curve of her slender throat. The front of her pajama blouse stretched over her breasts, and I could see the pebbling of her nipples. She wasn’t wearing a bra
.
It was too much for me. Ever since I first saw this woman, all I wanted was her body, and now she was in my arms. It would be stupid of me to not just take her.
I would make her feel safe.
My hand rose up to the back of her head, and my other hand remained on the small of her back. Ensley knew exactly what I was about to do and she parted her lips in invitation.
I leaned my head forward, covering her lips with mine as my tongue parted her mouth roughly.
A moan escaped her lips as I kissed her hard. I groaned too, tasting her for the first time. She was sweet, just like I’d predicted and she pressed herself against me. I could feel her slim hips jutting into my stomach as we both tried to kiss each other harder.
My hands were in her hair, untangling her loose bun and she held me even tighter. Both our bodies rose together as we faced each other, tumbling back down on the couch together while we kissed. It was like there were explosions going off in the sky. From the moment my lips touched hers, I knew that she was going to be a dangerous part of my life. This woman had some kind of grasp on me that I didn’t know was possible.
My tongue thrust in and out of her mouth and Ensley moaned and writhed in my arms. This was more than just a kiss. It was a trailer for what was to come. Now that I had tasted her, just a kiss wasn’t going to be enough and Ensley was just as ready for the rest as I was.
Chapter 14
Ensley
Thorn’s tongue was inside my mouth, and his hands were in my hair. This was the moment I’d been fantasizing about since I first saw him walk into the bar. His large, strong arms gripping me, his biceps flexing as he held me pinned to himself. His mouth was rough on mine, and I could feel the wetness spreading between my legs.
He pulled his lips away from me, and I was panting. Thorn’s green eyes focused on mine and for a few moments; I felt lost and like I was in a dream.
Baby and the Biker: The Ghost Riders MC Page 40
