‘I go to toilet. I back in minute,’ Nadia said, and rushed out of the room before I could retract Charlie’s offer.
‘Jesus, Charlie, have you lost your mind? Inviting a stranger to live in our house without even discussing it with me?’ I was furious.
‘She’s a wonderful lady,’ Charlie said. ‘And she needs our help.’
‘There is no way she’s moving in here.’
Charlie looked to Paul for help. ‘Paul, you’re not going to leave poor Nadia on the streets. You of all people know how dangerous it is out there.’
Paul shuffled from one foot to the other. ‘Well, Charlie, it does seem a bit impulsive. How long have you known her?’
‘Three weeks.’
‘Has she nowhere else she can stay?’
‘No. All her money was stolen and she’s only been in Ireland a few weeks so she hasn’t any friends.’
‘I see,’ Paul said.
‘She could be a psychopath, murderer, con-woman,’ I said, and wanted to add ‘prostitute’ but held back in front of the girls.
‘She’s a beautiful person,’ Charlie said. ‘Not just a cracker to look at, she has a big heart.’
‘She is very good-looking,’ Sarah agreed.
‘Great figure,’ Ali added.
‘I’m sorry, she can’t stay and that’s final.’ I was fed up with Charlie turning the house into a circus.
‘I think I’m in love,’ Charlie announced.
‘What?’
‘You heard me. And she’ll only be here until she gets back on her feet.’
‘Paul, talk sense into him.’
‘Well, now, Charlie, Ava has a point. This woman is a virtual stranger. There are lots of women who come to Ireland looking to prey on vulnerable older men. You need to be careful.’
Charlie’s face got very flushed. ‘Nadia is a good person who’s down on her luck. What happened to the Irish being a welcoming nation? What happened to A Hundred Thousand Welcomes to All who Come to Our Shores?’
‘We’re not the bloody tourist board,’ I hissed. Before I could vent any more of my anger, Nadia rushed back into the room.
‘Oh, Charlie, you are hero for me.’ She kissed him passionately in front of all of us.
I spun around to get Paul to help remove this woman from our house and found him staring at her legs. I thumped him on the shoulder.
‘What?’
‘Do something.’
‘What do you suggest?’
‘Call the police and have her arrested instead of staring at her legs.’
‘On what charges?’
‘I don’t know – breaking and entering.’
‘Your father invited her here.’
‘Coercion.’
‘He doesn’t look intimidated to me,’ Paul said, as he watched Charlie kissing this stranger.
‘Seducing him under false pretences.’
‘That’s not actually against the law.’
I sat down in the chair beside the door and buried my head in my hands.
‘This is cool.’ Sarah giggled. ‘Charlie’s girlfriend is younger than Mum. We’re like those people on Ricki Lake.’
14
Nadia moved in the next day with all her possessions. Three large suitcases were dragged through the house into Charlie’s room. He swore to me that it was only a short-term solution and he’d find her a new place to live as soon as possible. Clearly the suit she’d worn the day before was a disguise because, from the moment she officially moved in, the miniskirts and boob tubes were out in abundance. I caught Paul staring at her cleavage on several occasions.
She was overtly sexy and it made me very uncomfortable.
‘You’d think she’d put a shirt on,’ I huffed, as she strutted about the house in a denim miniskirt and a vest top that left little to the imagination.
Paul shrugged. ‘I dunno, looks fine to me.’
‘She’s like mutton dressed up as lamb.’
‘If the mutton has the body of a lamb she can get away with it.’
‘Shouldn’t something be left to the imagination?’
‘It’s not as if she’s walking around in her underwear.’
I looked down at my black polo neck and black trousers. Was I a frump? Had I let myself go? I was in pretty good shape – sure I had a bit of a flabby stomach and chunky thighs, but what mother didn’t?
‘What do you think of what I’m wearing?’ I asked my husband.
‘Very smart,’ he answered.
‘What exactly does “smart” mean?’
‘It means smart.’
‘But not sexy?’
‘It’s a jumper and trousers,’ he retorted.
‘Do you think Nadia looks sexy?’
‘Uhm … no.’ He hesitated. ‘I think she looks available.’
‘What do I look?’
‘Married.’
‘Frumpy.’
‘That’s not what I said.’
‘Yeah, but it’s what you meant.’
‘No, it isn’t. I wouldn’t want you walking around in miniskirts.’
‘Why? Do you think my legs are too chunky?’
‘No. You’re a bit old for them.’
‘I’m forty-two, not seventy.’
‘You’re the one who said Nadia looked cheap.’
‘And you said she had a great body and looked fine. Obviously I’m too fat to wear short skirts.’
‘Ava, you’re not fat.’
‘That’s it. No more desserts for me.’
‘You’re not fat.’
‘I’ve put on a few pounds.’
‘You look good to me.’
‘She’s only four years younger than me and has no lumps and bumps. She’s so toned,’ I complained.
‘You’ve had two children.’
‘Aha, so you do think I’m lumpy.’
‘I never said that!’
‘Do you think she’s a prostitute?’ I asked, deciding to get off the subject of toned bodies as I munched a KitKat.
‘No. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts asking Charlie to “lend” her money.’
‘So you don’t think she’s in love.’
Paul laughed. ‘I give it a month. She’ll try to get as much money as she can out of him and then leave.’
‘Jesus, Paul, this is really serious. What if Charlie starts giving her his savings? He has quite a bit of money left from the sale of the house, but it’s his pension.’
‘We have to make sure that doesn’t happen. The good thing about having Nadia living here is that we can keep an eye on the situation. Don’t worry, I’m watching her.’
‘Is that why you stare at her boobs all the time?’
‘They’re hard to miss.’
‘Try looking up.’
I wasn’t sure how Nadia stayed so slim: she quite literally ate us out of house and home. Every time I walked into the kitchen she was eating. I was complaining about it one day when Ali said she’d like to start cooking.
I was pleased that she wanted to do something other than study and that she was showing an interest in food, so I encouraged her. The next thing I knew, Ali was spending hours going through all my cookbooks looking for recipes to try out. I came home one evening to find she had made creamy chicken korma and chocolate brownies for dinner.
‘Wow, Ali, this is a fantastic spread. Put your feet up and enjoy it,’ I said.
‘Actually I had a bowl of the chicken while the brownies were in the oven. I need to catch up on my homework now – the cooking took longer than I thought. I’ll take a brownie up with me.’
‘Can you not sit with us for even twenty minutes?’ I pleaded. This was the most animated I’d seen her in ages.
‘No, Mum, I have to work.’
‘Well, thank you fery much for this luffly food,’ Nadia said.
‘Yes, pet, it smells wonderful,’ Charlie added.
‘Yum!’ Sarah said, her mouth full of korma.
Ali smiled. ‘Enjoy!’
Maybe things were looking up.
That Saturday I had a big party to organize so I asked Charlie if he’d do the grocery shopping for me. Ali said she wanted to go with him because she had some new recipes she wanted to try out and needed ingredients. Sarah was tagging along too because Bobby was rugby training and she was bored. Paul was working and Nadia was at a job interview.
‘What’s her interview for, Charlie?’ I asked, wondering what kind of job Nadia was aiming for.
‘A nightclub.’
‘Doing what?’
‘Dancing.’
‘They’re going to pay her to dance?’
‘She’s very agile,’ Charlie said, grinning.
‘Oh, my God, Charlie’s girlfriend’s a pole dancer!’ shrieked Sarah. ‘Can this family get any weirder?’
‘Is that true?’ I asked, horrified.
Charlie, looking as proud as he had on my wedding day, nodded. ‘Yes, it is.’
‘But that’s practically prostitution,’ I gasped.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous. The girls nowadays just swing about on the pole and make up to five hundred euros a night. The men aren’t allowed touch them. It’s all very proper.’
‘How do you know this? Please tell me you don’t hang out in pole-dancing clubs.’
‘Nadia told me. She said if she gets the job, she’ll be a millionaire in no time.’
‘Is it legal?’
‘Of course it is.’
‘Pole dancing is cool now, Mum,’ Sarah piped up. ‘All the celebrities do it to keep fit.’
‘Do you burn loads of calories?’ Ali asked.
‘Loads. Maybe we could get a pole in the house,’ Sarah suggested. ‘Nadia could give us lessons.’
‘Has everyone gone mad?’ I shouted. ‘There will be no poles or dancing or any of that carry-on in my house.’
I gave Charlie the shopping list and stormed out the door. For the zillionth time in my life I wished I had a sibling to help me look after him. My mother had begun to haemorrhage shortly after she had given birth to me and had to have a hysterectomy. With Charlie’s only living relative, Daisy, stuck in an old folks’ home suffering from Alzheimer’s, I was all he had. I would have given anything for a sibling to share the madness with. I had been determined when Ali was born that I’d have one for her. I envied the girls sometimes. They had each other to talk to when Paul and I drove them mad.
When I got home later, Sarah was lying on the couch watching TV.
‘Hi,’ I said, flopping down in the armchair beside her.
‘God, Mum, you look wrecked. Tough day at the office?’
‘You could say that,’ I said, smiling. ‘Thirty over-excited seven-year-old girls at a Hannah Montana theme party. I’m badly in need of a glass of wine. Where is everyone else?’
‘Charlie and Nadia have gone for a drink and Ali went off on her bike. She should be back soon. She was a total pain in the supermarket. Even Charlie nearly lost it with her.’
‘Why? What happened?’
Sarah filled me in …
Charlie parked in the disabled drivers’ section and got out of the car with a fake limp. Ali said she didn’t think it was fair to take up a handicapped space, but Charlie pointed out that there were twelve handicapped spaces and only two cars in them. ‘How many cripples can there be, wanting to do their shopping at twelve o’clock on a Saturday? Now, let’s divide this list up so we can get out of here as quickly as possible.’
They each went their separate ways and agreed to meet at the checkout in twenty minutes.
Sarah got the items Charlie had given her from my list and a few of her favourite things – hot chocolate drinks, smoothies, granola bars and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. She then went to meet Charlie.
He was looking around impatiently. ‘I hate supermarkets. They’re full of grumpy old people and screaming kids. Have you seen Ali?’ he asked.
‘No. You wait here, I’ll go and find her.’
Sarah found Ali sitting on the floor surrounded by packets of food. She was reading the labels on them and taking notes on a little pad. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked her sister.
Ali looked annoyed at being found. ‘I’m just checking to see what additives are in all these foods. Some of them are really bad for you.’
‘Why are you writing it in a notebook? Are you doing a project for school?’
‘No, I’m just making sure I don’t eat any crap.’
Sarah looked into her sister’s basket – low-fat cheese, low-fat yogurts, rice cakes, two chicken breasts and a box of Special K. ‘Is that what you got? It’s all gross.’
‘No, it’s healthy.’
‘Rice cakes? Come on, they’re like cardboard,’ Sarah said.
‘I like them.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since I decided to give up bad carbs.’
‘Well, you look like shit – like you have the flu. Maybe you should try eating some of the “bad” carbs.’
‘Go away. I need to concentrate.’
‘Charlie’s doing his nut. He wants to go.’
‘I need more time.’
Charlie came around the corner, furious. ‘What the hell are you two doing? Why are you sitting around writing in a book?’
‘Ali wants to write down the content of everything in the shop.’
‘I just want to read the labels,’ she fumed.
‘Read the labels?’ Charlie was incredulous. ‘In my day we ate pigs’ trotters. Now come on, before I get really annoyed.’
Ali glared at them both and stormed to the checkout.
‘She’s always narky these days, Mum. I’m sick of her snapping at me,’ Sarah said. ‘And what’s with all the sudden interest in cooking and food content? Why does she always have to be so intense about everything? When we got back she spent two hours in the kitchen making chocolate chip muffins and meringues.’
I rubbed my forehead. I had a splitting headache from the kids’ party. All I wanted to do was put my feet up and drink a glass of wine in peace. But every time I came through the front door there was always something to be done or fixed or dealt with. It was relentless. ‘Ali’s a perfectionist. She can’t do things in half-measures. It’s just her personality.’
‘I wish she’d chill the hell out. She’s so serious about everything, it’s a pain.’
‘I know, but be patient with her. It’s been a difficult few months.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m not going to be her punch-bag any more. The next time she snaps at me I’m going to tell her what a pain in the arse she’s become.’
I let my head sink back into the cushion and stared at the ceiling. When had we all become so stressed out? We always seemed to be fighting or snapping at each other now. I was sick of it. I wanted some peace. I closed my eyes and pictured waves gently lapping on a sandy beach. ‘Maybe we all need a change of scenery. Why don’t we go away for a week?’
‘Yes! Let’s go somewhere really hot.’
‘Hot and sunny it is. I think it would do Ali the world of good and I wouldn’t mind getting Charlie out of Nadia’s clutches for a bit. It might get him to see sense.’
‘He’s happy – what’s the big deal?’
‘She’s obviously after his money and I don’t want to see him get hurt again.’
‘OK, fair enough. Why don’t we go just after Christmas? It’s so boring here between Christmas and New Year. Can we go to Morocco? I’ll get a brilliant tan. Everyone will be so jealous.’
‘That would be the best time to go, but then Dad might not be able to come. It’s a busy time in the pub.’
‘We can’t go without Dad. It wouldn’t be a family holiday. And we can’t wait and go after New Year because Ali and me will be back in school. Just tell him to leave the pub for once – it won’t fall apart if he’s not there for a few days.’
‘I’ll talk to him. In the meantime why don’t I go and check what deals are available?’ I said, and went upstairs to hide out in my be
droom for some peace and quiet.
But as soon as I had sat down on my bed, Sarah barged in. ‘Mum, you forgot your laptop,’ she said, sitting beside me. ‘Come on, chop chop, let’s see what’s on offer.’
15
Nadia got the job at the pole-dancing club and Charlie kept saying how proud he was of her. You’d think she’d won a bloody gold medal at the Olympics, climbed Mount Everest and found a cure for cancer, the way he was going on. I know I was being childish, but he was praising her more than he ever praised me, and it got up my nose. Not only was I housing and feeding his latest girlfriend, but I now had to listen to how incredible she was.
Charlie insisted on following me around the house, going on and on about her. I’d just come in from work and tripped over a box of Nadia’s belongings that had been thrown down haphazardly in the hall. I was feeling claustrophobic anyway and I was also annoyed that Nadia had never thanked me for allowing her to live in my house with my family. She seemed to take it completely for granted.
Eventually I snapped: ‘What is so great about flinging yourself around on a pole? It’s not exactly rocket science.’
‘It requires extreme control and suppleness. She’s like a gymnast.’
‘It’s called stripping, Charlie.’
‘I don’t know why you feel the need to put down Nadia’s chosen career. She doesn’t belittle yours.’
‘There’s nothing to belittle. I run my own company. I don’t take my clothes off. And I certainly hope your girlfriend isn’t saying negative things about me, considering the fact that I’m housing her and funding her insatiable appetite.’
‘I never said she didn’t say anything bad about you.’
‘What exactly do you mean by that?’
‘She thinks you’re quite rude about her clothes.’
‘Because I asked her to put a dressing-gown on at breakfast, instead of having to eat with her boobs in my family’s face?’
‘Among other things, yes.’
‘It’s not healthy for my children and husband to have that woman prancing about in skimpy underwear all day long.’
‘They don’t seem to mind.’
‘I mind! It puts me off my food.’
‘She’s got a beautiful body – why should she cover it up? We’re all too repressed.’
Pieces of My Heart Page 11
