I waited for a few moments, the anticipation taking me to higher levels of lust, till I felt I was about to go insane. My body was quivering like a leaf in a storm and my whole being was now being drenched with sweat. I felt almost feverish. What was happening to me?
Then Ricky’s sweet tongue touched down between my legs right on my throbbing mound. A loud moan escaped me and my body started to convulse with need. Ricky placed his large, strong hand on my stomach and spread his fingers to comfort me. His touch was so calming. He was in charge of this. He would take care of me. It was such a wild mix of emotions that I felt totally out of control, but I knew that he was there and that he would take good care of me. I felt so helpless on my own right then, but with Ricky’s loving and nurturing guidance, I knew that I would be just fine. I was in the best of hands.
His tongue slid between my slit, burying itself inside of me just then. I gasped heavily for air as my chest tightened with the rush of euphoria that consumed me at that moment. I was still so tight that he could not get very far up inside my virgin body, but he was able to entice me to open the floodgates of desire.
And I did. I was getting so wet. I needed him inside of me. I needed this more than I had ever needed anything in my entire life. My body was caving in on itself with the emotions that were rolling through it. I wasn’t sure how much I could handle.
“Relax,” Ricky said. “Just let the feelings come. Allow yourself to let go and the feelings to take over you.”
I closed my eyes and concentrated on the sensations that were ruling through me at that moment. My body was heaving in little spasms of hissing breath as I tried desperately to control myself. Ricky’s tongue pressed into me again, moving up towards the top of my vagina and finding the magic button that would really kick things into hyper drive.
The moment his sweet tongue touched me, I became overwhelmed with pleasure. “Shit!” I yelled as his mouth enveloped me. He was kissing me, making love to me, and sucking the sweet essence from me with his immaculate mouth.
I could not stop my body from shivering all over, from head to toe. It was like my whole body was having an insane orgasm.
“You taste so good,” Ricky said. “I want you to fill my mouth with your gushes.”
I grabbed his head and pressed my mound into his mouth harder, making sure that not one drop of my inner juices would spill out of his aching mouth. He moaned loudly and held me closely, his arms wrapping around my legs.
Yes, that was what I needed to feel whole again. I hadn’t realized it until that moment, but with the pleasure that Ricky was giving to me, he’d tapped into a part of my inner spirit that had been gaping, as if there was a piece of me missing. I wasn’t sure where it had come from, and had been totally unaware that it even existed, but there it was and it was now being filled by joy, bliss, and love. Yes, love. I knew I was falling madly in love with this man. Only someone I loved could give me this much euphoria. No one else could ever expect to come close to eliciting that kind of bliss out of my body and mind.
Ricky pulled back just then. He raised himself up and kissed me hard on the mouth. Tasting that sweet mixture of his breath, his mouth, his warmth, and the remnants of my own bliss was electrifying. I wanted him to know how much he meant to me, how I’d been searching my entire life to find him, and now that I had him, I wasn’t going to let him go. I would always be there for him. If he would be true to me, then I would be true to him.
“Are you ready?” Ricky asked.
“Yes,” I replied. “Yes, please…”
Ricky kissed me softly. His member was pressing gently against my opening. As his lips left mine, he entered my body, pressing past my barrier and opening me up in ways that I never could have imagined. The pain was not there. I’d expected it to hurt. I’d expected it to be frightening. But no, none of that happened. It was as if all of my worries and self-imposed confinements I’d lived with all my life had disappeared. But they were there for a reason; they’d led me to Ricky and saved myself for this moment.
He was fully inside of me now. He waited there, readying my body for his full lovemaking experience. It felt so good. It really was like having myself complete for the first time in my existence. I wasn’t sure quite how to handle this. My mind was racing, my heart was pounding, and the sweetness that was rising up from my loins became like a blanket of warmth that spread out and wrapped itself around me until I felt totally at ease.
I kissed Ricky hard on the mouth, placing my tongue inside his. He stayed there for a few moments and then he slowly pulled out and then pushed his rod back inside of me. Again, and again. With every single thrust it felt better and better. I was opening a little more each time until I finally felt completely there for him, but it was still such a snug, tight fit. Every single movement was registered by my body as possibly orgasm inducing. It felt like I was teetering on the edge of some sort of precipice and I was looking down on a beautiful waterfall that I ached to plunge over the edge and join mid-fall.
“That’s it,” Ricky guided me. “Just let the feelings flow through you… you feel so perfect.” He kissed me and sucked my tongue out of my mouth, his lips wrapped around it as he licked and swirled with his.
Ricky placed my legs around his midsection and I took the cue to cross my ankles to make this as tight as we possibly could with each other. Oh, he felt amazing inside of me. Every single time he entered me, it was bringing me closer to orgasm. I could feel it coming. I wanted to wait because I didn’t want to finish before he did, but I had to give in soon. I wasn’t sure how much…longer…I… could… wait…
“Fuck…” I groaned. “I think I’m going to come!”
“Shhh…” he said. “Don’t fight it…just let it happen… you deserve it.”
He kissed me again and the feeling of falling over the edge passed. I wasn’t coming yet, but I was getting damn close.
Ricky was now pushing into me harder, but slowly. He plunged inside of me deeply, held himself there and wrapped his arms around me to comfort me while he was inside. It was so loving and nurturing, all at the same time.
He kissed me intermittently which only added to my growing love for him. He was being so gentle. I’d told him before that it was my first time and he’d promised to lead the way and make sure that I was as comfortable as possible. The first time could be difficult, but this was amazing. Ricky was such an attentive lover.
He was so close to me now, his whole body wrapped me up as he humped inside of me. I could feel his package getting bigger as well, and it seemed my own body was growing tighter and holding onto him harder. Every time he pulled out of me and then entered again, there was this sweet little plopping sound. It was cute and a testament to my wetness.
I was so ready for this.
“Come for me,” Ricky said.
“Are you sure?” I replied. I wasn’t sure I even could come right now.
“Yes. You can do it. Just hold nothing back and let it all flow. That’s right… just let yourself go.”
I closed my eyes and did as he told me too. Within seconds I was at the brink, and then I knew I was spilling over the edge and a cascade of total bliss roared through me. It took me through a tunnel of light and happiness that I thought was completely outside the realm of real life and experience.
My toes curled, my teeth chattered, my mind spun around so fast I thought I might pass out, but the pleasure was dominant over all of those feelings as I felt myself orgasming, hard and heavy. My juices were spilling out of me now as his hard dick kept pounding my tightness.
“Fuck!” I yelled. I couldn’t control myself at that moment. All of the passion and the pleasure that I’d dreamt of had finally reached its zenith and it was all coming to fruition right now.
My body shook. I couldn’t breathe. And still somehow, I managed to rock my hips harder as I came, as if I was trying to get more and more sweet bliss out of all this, with every single passing moment.
And then I felt Ricky’s orgasm.
His body tensed up and his face grew stern as he snarled slightly, as if some primordial beast was erupting out of him. A second later, I felt his body propelling himself inside of me. Yes, he was coming hard inside of my begging body. Every drop of his sweet seed was emptying inside of me right at that moment.
It was priceless. It was everything I’d ever hoped for.
And then I was alone.
There was nothing, no one else.
I sat up in bed, searching for Ricky, for my sweet darling, but he wasn’t there. I was still just alone. What…?
A dream. It had all been a vivid dream.
My body was covered in sweat, and the sheets were wet. But, there was no Ricky…
Wow…what a dream. I wanted it to be real so badly that I felt like I was going insane. I leapt out of my bed. I slept in the nude, and my body was cold with the air conditioning rushing against my sweaty form. It had been unseasonably warm recently, and to me it might as well have been the middle of July.
I paced back and forth in my room for several minutes after chugging the bottle of water I always kept by my bed. Shit…that had been so intense. I didn’t smoke, but I wished I did. I had a feeling that a cigarette would have hit the spot.
Ricky was there taking my virginity and it had been spectacular. Was this what I really wanted? Or was it all just some silly dream? Love… the word love had been prominent in my thoughts during this dream. What in the hell did that mean?
I’d only met Ricky once. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I knew it was wrong and that I should keep my nose focused on my work, but if he was going to be around, I was only going to have dirty thoughts about him. There was something about him that had touched me deeply inside. I felt like I was going to explode if I had to constantly hide my growing attraction to him.
And yes, as I thought about it, he was the type of man that I might be able to love one day if things escalated. But would they? That was the real question. I didn’t have any idea. But I knew all of the reasons why it was a bad idea for this to happen.
I sighed heavily as I sat down in the chair in the corner. I was so pent up, so worried about what might happen between Ricky and me. There was a nervous anxiety coursing through my system. I wasn’t sure how to really handle these feelings. I hadn’t really ever felt like this for anyone before. And I’d just met this man. What did that mean? I wasn’t sure if it was just my own overactive imagination, or if this was a sign of some sort of destiny. I’d never really believed in that sort of thing before, but after having a dream of that intensity, I wasn’t sure what to believe. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown as I sat there and tried to regain my composure.
What if this thing with Ricky did by some chance escalate into a romance and then it went beyond that? Would that be bad? No, that actually would have been utterly amazing. But right then there were too many questions up in the air to consider. I didn’t know the man enough to understand how he might handle it. He might decide that he couldn’t stand this and that it was better to let me go. He was still getting over the death of his wife, after all. I could see the pain still very visible in his eyes when he spoke of her. It might have been a few years and on the outside he might have projected to the world that he was doing just fine, but that sort of thing did not fool me at all. I could tell he was still very much heartbroken. A man like that sure wasn’t looking for romance.
And he might just bark at the idea and I’d be out of a great job. The money was perfect, the conditions were great, the hours gave me plenty of time to work on art and other things, and it was only a ten-minute drive from my place. And if it went sour, there was no telling how long I would have to wait to find another halfway decent job. This time of year, it just didn’t seem needed as much.
I had to get a grip on myself. It would be alright.
I would just do everything in my power to make sure that I didn’t let my feelings for Ricky get out of hand.
Chapter Five
Ricky
I curled the dumbbells higher up until they almost reached my shoulders and then curled them back down for the final rep. My body was about to give up under the weight and I sat them down on the rack with a long sigh of relief. My lungs were gasping for air now and I felt mildly nauseous. I knew that I was pushing myself to the limits, but there was something about the way I felt today that just made me want to explore the extremes.
And I had a pretty good idea what it was exactly that was giving me the extra motivation. Julie.
I hadn’t been able to get that beautiful woman off my mind since I’d met her the day before. And she was coming to the house that day at three to start work. There was a monthly training exercise we had to do, otherwise I would have the day off since it was the weekend. But you had to do what the job entailed, even if I did think this particular training was trash. It did nothing but waste your time and make people feel good about themselves. People had to feel that their tax dollars were going to be utilized for something useful. It was a good thing that there were not actual fires every single day.
“Wow, man. You are hitting those things hard today. I want to get a ticket to that gun show!” Evan Wilder said sitting at the weight bench beside me.
“Yeah, who are you trying to impress?” Doug Vance asked. “Doing sets with fifty pound dumbbells. Are you training for some iron man competition that we don’t know about?” Evan asked.
I laughed it off. “You guys are nuts. No, I just realized that I’ve been slacking with my workouts lately, so I’m just trying to make up for that. That’s all.”
“Yeah, you only have an eight pack,” Doug laughed.
I shook my head. “It isn’t about vanity; it’s about functionality. I want to get stronger and faster. That girl I saved the other day—that was too close of a call. I don’t want that to happen again.”
“What’s the big deal? You did great. You saved her life.”
“Yeah, but I could be better. I know it. I want to be in the best of my ability at all times. I think we could all strive for that, right?”
“Sure man,” Doug replied.
I chugged a big gulp of water from my gallon jug I always took with me and grabbed the dumbbells to do another set of bicep curls. Taking a deep breath, I began to curl the weights. They felt like they weighed a ton. I was almost caving under their onslaught of brutal heaviness. There was no way I was going to hit eight to ten reps this time. I sucked in a deep breath and gave it all I had, grunting and straining to complete the set, but I topped out at five reps. Shit.
But the pump was out of this world.
I stood up and paced a moment trying to catch my breath and clear my head. It was true that I was always trying to improve my fitness for my job, but I had a lot of energy and tension in my body and mind, mostly because I was trying to deal with this super strong attraction to Julie, who I had only met once, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. She was perfect in every way that I could tell. She was smart, sweet, kind, funny, interesting, and beautiful. And there was something extra, something special about the way that she looked at me. I just felt this sweet closeness to her that I couldn’t explain. Work out had always been the best form of therapy for me, so this time it made sense to turn the tide and true, it was helping, to some extent. At least until the guys started to press my buttons. They were good friends, but they knew how to mess with me and get me to talk about things I’d just not want to mention.
“Unless, you have a new girlfriend you don’t want to tell us about,” Evan said with a smile.
I gave him an annoyed look, and his eyes lit up. He was now going to be pulling that thread harder.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Yeah, you seem fine. We’ve worked with you for a long time. We know when you are feeling extra stressed. Now, what is her name?”
“There is nobody,” I said. “You guys know that I’m not dating anyone right now. I…I’m just not ready.”
Evan nodded. “But Susie said
you were passing notes during study hall. What was that about?”
I couldn’t keep a straight face. Evan was a character.
“Wow, that is good,” I said. “You should write for Jimmy Fallon or somebody.”
“I’m in negotiations,” Evan chuckled. “But dude, it’s been two years. You need to stop wallowing in the muck. You know what Amanda would tell you if she could. People aren’t meant to spend their lives alone.”
“I’m not alone; I’ve got Zoe. Nothing more important than her.”
“Of course not, but that’s not what he is saying,” Doug added. “You need a woman in your life. It isn’t ever going to replace what you had with Amanda, but you have room in your heart to love other people, too. And you are deserving of love as well, man.”
I looked at him to scan his face, to see how serious he was. This man was truly speaking from the heart. You’d never know it by just looking at these tough firefighters, but many of them were truly sensitive souls. Sometimes I wished I had a bit more of the sensitive in me. But then again, maybe I was too sensitive and that was my problem after all.
“Thanks, but right now there isn’t anything I can do about it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to move on.”
“You won’t be ready,” Evan said. “If you are waiting for the day where you wake up and it’s all sunshine and rainbows and you’ve got a spring in your step that tells you that it is time to move on, that today is the day—you are going to be disappointed and living your life forever alone. You have to make that decision to burst out of your comfort zone and move forward. There is no other way. It’s not going to be comfortable. It will hurt. You will feel like giving up. But little by little, you will start to cope with it.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll try.”
We finished our workout and then decided to grab some lunch before my training would start. Zoe was with her aunt Katy all day until about two. Then she would drop her off at my place and Julie would show up to relieve her. She had some work to do today as well. I would have just asked Julie to stay with Zoe all day, but Katy adored spending time with Zoe and she loved spending time playing with her cousins. So it was a great situation for everybody that way. I would only have to spend a bit of time with Julie that evening after I came back from the three hour training class.
Burning With Desire Page 4
