by Ron Foster
‘Yea, he would have been a good person for a job like that. I still don’t know how he manages to survive and finds enough to eat when he is gone on one of his walk abouts. Martha and I think he must have himself a girlfriend stashed in a community or on a farm somewhere not to far from here.” Dump said as he looked at the spot on the lake David was watching intently and concurred with him that the sighting must be Boudreaux and they watched as the boat headed their way.
“Hard to make out who the passengers are. Who is that Boudreaux has with him besides Lowbuck, his wife and Goat Man?” David said studying the sailboat in the distance slowly tacking towards them.
“It looks like he has that rascal of an Englishman Stewart with him, but I can’t make out the other person sitting in the cockpit.” Dump said peering through a pair of binoculars and squinting from the sunlight flickering on the lakes surface.
“I am surprised Stewart managed to have tagged along today, I didn’t really expect him to leave Melanie unattended.” David said pondering his unexpected arrival.
“He best have himself a bunch of good reasons for coming over here and made sure to have left a good person to sit with and do for Melanie while he parties over here.” Dump growled tightening his lips.
“Dump, you leave him alone and give him plenty of time to explain the reason for his visit before you start fussing at him. You know Stewart wouldn’t be leaving her alone if he didn’t think she would be alright without him for a short while.’ David replied sternly.
“I am, I ain`t thinking about bothering him none today damn it David. It’s just that I am worried a lot about her, she been sick a longtime.” Dump said half apologetically, but all the while grumbling and fussing under his breath while not directly looking at David watching him.
Dump and Stewart had in between themselves sort of a strained and unusual relationship. One of those hard to explain love hate relationships you might say with each other because Melanie had set up significant other housekeeping with Stewart instead of with Dump a few years back.
Right now the whole community was worried about her welfare as she was not only our close friend, she was also our only herbalist and was currently in bad health herself and somewhat bed ridden with sciatica that pained her immensely to move around much.
2
The Visitors
“Bonjour! Bonjour! “Boudreaux called out as he steered his boat’s way to the dock with his very happy and cheery appearing passengers waving to the dock and chattering away amongst themselves as they were getting their stuff together to disembark from the boat...
Dump caught the bowline that LowBuck threw to him and secured it securely to the cleat on the dock. David then caught the boats stern line from LowBuck’s wife Cat and tied off his end in a double half hitch. Various coolers and cardboard boxes were quickly handed off the boat and after all the initial greeting pleasantries of the boats passengers were over they headed to shore and walked up the hill to David’s back porch to socialize for awhile.
“Hey LowBuck, this box sounds like it’s full of mason jars. Wouldn’t happen to be some of that special Liberty creek “Stump Blower “would it?” Dump said hopefully checking out the load while speculatively grinning about as to what the tingling glass jars might contain.
David had told LowBuck that particular moonshine recipe of his and Boudreaux’s was the cause of, and solution to all life's problems around here. He still laughed at the way Boudreaux described it. “The way that we test the stuff is we dip a corncob in it, stick it under a stump and light it off. If it don't blow that there stump out, it needs to be cooked up some more Mon Ami! Them that know say that the tadpoles in the river water are what give it the special flavor."
“That batch of hooch was made with the very last of my granulated sugar and if your old heathen self drops it or wastes any of it I am going to keel haul your ass.” Boudreaux said joking with Dumpie.
“Hell it would probably blow up both his ass and ours like nitro glycerin if he did drop ant of it.” David said laughing.
“Hey David I remember the effects that Stump Likker had on you the first time you tried it so don’t be braying like a mule. You had a certain amount of difficulty I recall in finding your way to the door from here to the house if I remember your drunk ass right.” Dump said putting him in his place.
“That ain`t near as bad as what Stewart and Goat did playing jokes on Purvis.” David complained thinking back to that first exposure to high octane moonshine.
“ That shit sure is the epitome of sneak up on you drunkenness . Anything that causes you to have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth, well then there is no telling what you might dream up to do. My head still hurts from the first morning after…arrrrrrggggg! Goat Man said (like a pirate but in more pain) while making faces at Boudreaux for helping to create the high alcohol 151 plus concoction that could alternate as charcoal lighter or be used for curling a horses toes..
The group spied Lois heading their way and gave a collective groan that she had overheard them talking alcohol.
“Well just look at you all plotting and scheming. I told Bubba you all can’t be drinking that shit straight no more. We are short on lamp oil, degreaser and a host of other things more useful then mega proofing you alls booze and especially that means just plain sugar. So your days of pretending to make ethanol fuel are over. No more drinking up all them “mistakes”! Water that shit down some if you is going to consume straight out of the jug and grow the hell up with your rowdiness because we got some problems at hand around here that need tending to.” Lois said rounding the corner of David’s cabin as they came up the side stairs to deck.
Remembering that silence is sometimes the best answer David waited a second before answering her.
“What has got you so all fire riled up?’ David tentatively asked.
“I can’t get any of you to help with my chores around here as it is and if you and your drinking buddies are going to start tying one on then nothing at all is going to get done today.” Lois said still miffed about something but calming down a bit as she looked around David’s shoulder while curiously observing the group of visitors for familiar faces.
“Get Purvis to help you with what ever it is that needs doing this minute. We have been planning this meeting for weeks and we have got ourselves some serious talking to do about these communities bigger problems that you’re interrupting.” David began before she cut him off and went back to her tirade.
“That man is so lazy he calls the dog in to see if it’s raining’ besides he is no where to be found.” Lois fumed.
“Tell me what you need and then I’ll tell you how to get along without it. I told you all yesterday we were going to be tied up for the next couple days and not be expecting anything from us. Ain`t their some kids not busy here about that you could maybe task to be doing something?” David said trying to get rid of her for a bit.
“No they are all out of camp doing whatever, except HeDo and he is on guard duty with his father. They are at least working while all of you all are over here pretending to solve the problems of the world, solve the work schedule too while your at.” The sharp tongued Lois said before storming off towards Sherry’s cabin to probably go harass her for a bit.
.
“Sometimes I think that girl is as dumb as a cat tryin’ to look pretty in the middle of a dog festival.” David said still not knowing what had got her dander up but he didn’t really much care and knew just how to forget about her for a bit.
“Give me a drink of that hooch, LowBuck. It takes me a whole lotta liquor to like her when she is in one of her moods.” David said grinning like a Cheshire cat eying a silvery mason jar of shine.
“Will do! Is she on one of her temperance kicks or is something else going on besides her general orneriness? Hey, I didn’t know you were still posting regular guards over here, you seen something that concerned you in the area.” LowBuck said while he was un-boxing a mason jar
of some high octane beaded moonshine.
“There is absolutely no telling with her, she most likely is just worried about her husband Jack that I have over at the Marina keeping an eye on those new comers. As for the guards, they are not really guarding much of anything, just close in hunting and wandering the compound sort of like a sociable security patrol. You see everyone over here alternates days for community service of some sort. You might be on guard duty today, cook duty tomorrow or some kind of construction project. It keeps people out of mischief and focuses them on pulling together as a community. Guard duty these days is usually just pick you a spot you can watch the woods from and see in a few directions and if you can take some game in the process of looking about that’s great. They also do walk abouts or roving guard looking for fires or other security issues.” David concluded and tentatively sniffed the jar of Pop skull LowBuck had handed him before heading in the house for some glasses and some mixer. Maybe Lois was right, that really needed to be watered down considerably.
“I heard about them folks staying on over at the Marina. They are from what I hear supposed to be some kind of Holy Roller FEMA camp preaching types .Why don’t they just up and go to the recovery zones and leave out of here without trying to recruit folks to go with them all the danged time?” LowBuck said evidencing his own suspicions of them also.
“That’s what I am hoping Jack can find out for us on that little mission I sent him on. I also want to know first hand what kind of propaganda they are filling the younger generation with. About half of them community kids around here have been talking pretty seriously with them and getting starry eyed looks about maybe going to try some “city living”, without really realizing what that might mean.” David said adding some MRE instant orange drink mix to the Mason jar to make what he called his recipe for wahoo juice.
“Is Jack coming back here today or is he coming back tomorrow?” Bubba asked as David proceeded to fill glasses with his concoction and a little ice from his solar powered portable icemaker.
“You being rather chinchy with that ice mate.” Stewart said coming into the kitchen with Boudreaux and eying the glasses.
“We don’t have a whole lot made already so I am rationing it. This icemaker don’t work like it used too and I am going to freak and howl at the moon when it goes out all together.” David said handing out the drinks and doing a quick “Salute!” toast and tossing one back before he moved the party back outside to the porch deck.
Goat Man and the stranger could be seen over at the lake shore anchoring down the coolers in the shallows of the lakes cool waters to keep the contents fresh.
“I sure hope that is something more than wild game meat you brought in them coolers, but of course that’s most appreciated too.” “David said watching the pair while trying to get his breath back after downing the first shot of that Panther piss LowBuck had made in his still.
“Well you’re in for a treat then today. That guy with Doug down there (Aka Goat Man) is called Mason and it seems he had the misfortune of having a Nanny goat die in childbirth day before yesterday. He has got half a goat in one of those coolers and the other cooler has salt pork from a wild hog I got off one of the trading post hunters. Goat Man has cheese and goats milk in one of them coolers too.” Bubba (Aka LowBuck) declared and his wife Cat also showed David a pillow case full of fresh Kudzu greens and harvested onions she had brought along to fry up.
“Well we are certainly going to have a feast today! I have decided that I am liking that Mason fella already. Any particular reason he is tagging along today?” David said nonchalantly. Although no one usually came visiting with out carrying along at least enough food for themselves these days, it was also very unusual for someone to bring that much fresh livestock food to the community without wanting a hefty price for it settled in advance.
“I think his intentions are honorable enough mostly. Him and Goat Man were going to come see you anyway today before that Nanny died and the timing just happened to coincide with the meeting you called. Mason wants to sell the remainder of his livestock to you for silver coin and he is going to try to get himself over to some family member in one of the “reclaimed zones”. Bubba said meaning the guy had family that had either had moved back to or had never left the outlying countryside of one of the cities that were undergoing FEMA reestablishment and recovery.
“No shit? I definitely want to talk to him then. Has he been in contact with someone on the outside or is he just guessing that by now its ok to return to a town or travel the roads safely?” David said looking at LowBuck intently.
“He says he got a message from a census taker last time he went to the town where the FEMA transport center is. I didn’t even know that venue existed until I talked to him a bit on the way over. Said he sailed up river over to the capitol and that there were census takers making the rounds with armed escort military vehicles documenting the surviving population and offering transport to the relocation centers to anyone who wanted to go.” Bubba offered while studying Mason as he and Goat Man were making there way up the pebbled bank towards the house.
“Shit! I hope he didn’t give out a bunch of info on the remaining families around here.” David muttered.
“I already asked him about that. He says he was pretty tight lipped about how many of us still remained on the lake. I barely know him myself. He lives about 15 miles from the trading post. Got those goats of his running wild on a place called Goat Island which I had never heard of before until he pointed it out on a map last spring. Said he knew about them wild goats being there as a kid and it seems he remembered an article about them being restocked by somebody before the solar storm hit. The state game commission was having problems keeping the previous goats on the island alive. Basically, due to incidents of dogs chasing goats in the lake (and goats can't swim) as well as some idiot hunters. He used to work on that big trade boat that used to come to our trading post dock and somewhere along the line he jumped ship and set up house keeping over there on that island.” LowBuck concluded before the two men arrived.
Goat Man did the introductions and David offered them a drink before starting to question Mason.
“Nice to meet you Mason. LowBuck said you might possibly have some sort of a business proposition for me.” David said cheerfully regarding the man.
“Well I do, but I hadn’t expected you to want to parlay so quickly.” Mason replied uncomfortably.
“No rush, sit yourself down and take a load off and relax and have a few drinks with me. I was just telling you that I was aware that you wanted to discuss some business and I was open for listening to your proposal. LowBuck also said you saw a census taker and I am dying to hear all about that and any other news you might could share with us..” David said while going to sit on an old cast iron tractor seat stool he reserved for himself as his favorite deck chair to parlay from.
“That I did, third time I seen one of them government census workers this year by the way. If you want to try to find out if a loved one is still alive you can check their books and you can also send them a post card to a last known address or a relocation camp. I got a reply back to mine I sent about 4 months ago to my brother and he said come on out and stay with him..” Mason replied digging in his shirt pocket for a heavy well worn cardboard postcard with the official FEMA emblem in one corner.
David scanned the post card and handed it back to him. The card didn’t say much except something about the president’s family reunification plan and a few lines from Mason’s brother inviting him to come to the relocation camp in his zone for further settlement and live with him.
“Wish he had told you more about the conditions there but there is not much space to write personal messages in.” David said pondering the note.
“Well he sort of did in a way. You see we had us a code system all worked out for emergencies and where he says in the note that he will wear his blue hat to come see me in, he means that its strict federal control and for me to go left
. That going left part has me puzzled though. See growing up we had this thing where brother would always go right if we got separated or I would go left always towards the nearest post office as a rally point if I was the one lost. I am not exactly sure what he meant but if I don’t like the camp I will head left away from it I guess.” Mason concluded
“Humm that is strange, keep pondering on that. How were the FEMA folks acting in town when you saw them? Were they pushy when you said you didn’t want to evacuate the first time you met them?” Dump asked leaning towards Mason.
“No I can’t say that they were all that pushy acting, they seemed more surprised that I didn’t want to go. They wouldn’t talk to me in depth until I finished the census though. Those folks with the clip boards taking down answers were pushy, said I was required by law to fill the thing out completely and would be denied all benefits and subject to arrest if I didn’t.” Mason said distractedly looking back in his memory.
“Damn Government, they still acting like “Fils de putain” (Son of a bitch) ‘Boudreaux said with his thick Cajun accent.
