by Ron Foster
“Is this your boy? You two don’t look much alike.” she said to the scruffy greasy looking trader.
“No, his momma traded him to me as an apprentice because she couldn’t take care of him. He is a no account but I needed the help and she sweetened the deal.” The trader had said with a sickly smack of his lips that LowBuck missed because he was thinking adding a rock or two in the noses of them raccoon pelts might be a better way to make a buck off this guy.
“Is he for trade?” Cat questioned calmly.
“Could be, what’s the offer?” The trader asked with a smirk and a wink.
“Could be your head on a plate if my ol, man hears you disrespecting me.” I need some help on the farm, I will give you an ounce of silver for him and you remember your manners,” Cat said looking steely eyed and adamant.
“Couldn’t do that, Boy has upkeep, food and such invested in him you understand. I am an old man and he helps me out a lot. I was thinking more on the lines of 10 ounces of silver. “The trader said stroking his mustache
“How much is your hospital bill worth if you could get care?” Cat said nonchalantly averting her eyes.
“See here now, that boy is valuable. I couldn’t take less than 5 ounces silver for him no matter how big your husband is.” The trader squeaked out looking around for the bodyguards that he forgot were off on another errand.
“Maybe you could take some ammo in exchange with the silver.” Cat said magically producing a PMR 30 Keltec 22 magnum pistol which was laid on the table in his direction but not within his reaching distance.
“Oh I don’t think I need any 22 mag, perhaps 1 more coin could sway me to make a deal?” the trader asked squeakily.
“I think that might work, let me talk to the boy and my old man a moment. Ok?” She said correcting the barrels aim to his head instead of heart.
“Sure! Sure! No problems here.” The trader responded sweating immensely at the crazy girl and large husband who might rock his world if not satisfied completely.
“What is the boy’s given name?” Cat said still playing with the 30 round pistol shooter.
“Billy Charles, but he answers to most everything. Look don’t worry your old man none. I just will give him to you. He is typical red headed step child but he is a good boy that works hard. You take him and your trade goods and leave and we will call it square?” The trader whined.
“Now that seems to be a good understanding amongst me and you, but let’s see what the boy says? I want to pay for him though so we got no misunderstandings down the line. I am paying one of these one ounce divisible silver rounds that divide up in three pieces. Billy Charles,! Come in here a moment please.” LowBuck`s wife called out.
“Is there something the matter?” Billy Charles, said sheepishly cringing like a whipped dog and staying out of smacking distance from the trader.
“Not at all Son, Billy Charles, your boss here says that you might be willing to work for us if I buy your contract out. Would that be something you would be willing to entertain if my husband Lowbuck approves?” Cat said smiling
“Hey I am speechless, boss Trader you agree?” said Billy Charles looking for confirmation from LowBuck and glancing at his former master.
LowBuck agreed, a deal was struck and the boy was brought back with them to the lake.
Closest thing to an orphanage around the lake was a house next to Martha’s that housed a few kids no one had taken into their own homes. Times were tough and taking a kid in when you barely had resources for yourself was quite a decision and one not many people could or would undertake. Martha pretty much rode herd on the kids but someone from the community was with them pretty much every waking moment as school and farm chores filled most of the children’s day. The kids kept up their own place and became ‘little adults” pretty quickly. Billy Charles was moved in there but spent most of his time helping Cat and Lowbuck and for all practical purposes he was sort of their live out of the house son. The whole community looked out for the orphan’s welfare as well and benefited from the kids doing their fair share of the gardening etc.
6
Cold Steel And Iron Butts
What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it. ~Charles Dudley Warner, My Summer in a Garden, 1871
Nobody could really be called or labeled a prepper these days. Goods were scarce and everyone pretty much lived as self sufficient of lifestyle as they could and stored any surplus just like their fore father fathers had in the 1800`s.
“I bet when who ever bought these damn cast iron tractor seat chairs the first time wasn’t planning on sitting on them very long when they got as old as we are now.” Stewart said complaining and half standing while rubbing his butt about its extended contact with one of David’s pride and joy deck pieces of country rustic furniture.
“They can damn sure wake you up on a hot sunny day if you got shorts on, but I don’t have your boney ass dilemma to bitch about.” Dump said laughing
“Hey the only thing I got a problem with is that raised metal crotch piece crowding my style .” David said full of innuendo and smirking.
“ Hey Stewart, you been a member of this iron ass deck chair gang for what 10 years now and you still got a complaint you not sitting on cloud 9 or a feather pillow? Just imagine or wish you could have been one of those old farmers that rode those seats across real farm fields day in and day out. You see those seats were made for working and being left out in the field exposed to the elements and weather. Unless you toted around a pillow with you, bare metal is all you had. Its designed for durability and keeping you from being cast off the tractor if you hit a bump so either tote a pillow or be cast out!” David said laughing and then rubbed his own bony ass in agreement and commiseration that they could get a bit tiresome to sit in for any length of time. They’d talk for hours around an old table made of welded together horseshoes and some industrial era gears, an activity that invariably involved a bottle or two of locally produced moonshine and discussed lake business and tried to solve problems while partying a bit.
I might as well die happy, or at least not feel what I am sitting on in the cold or heat so drinking some of LowBucks antifreeze was just what they did to ignore the weather. Their little iron rotunda of tractor chairs had become very symbolic to them over the years. David mused.
“Man you don’t know what riding a hard tail motorcycle over some distance is.” LowBuck began before Boudreaux called nix on the biker tales and steered the problem back to more important things.
“We have been straying and dallying enough now guys! The problem she remains on the table without solution and I think I figured out me one good Boudreaux master plan answer for it. The problems we got are food, trade and the desire for every young or old man or women to find themselves a good squeeze to share life and labor with. It’s really the old goods and services thing that can be fixed with a bit of money. My Pa Pa had him a “Lafitte skiff “I want you to think about this kind of boat as an example. That boat she was a small, flat-bottomed vessel with a pointed bow and flat, square stern used in shallow coastal waters. I know of such a vessel not to far from here we can restore it and make us a humdinger of a net boat!” Boudreaux said with some confidence looking around at the tables assembled guests.
“You see, being able to cast or pull a bigger net is what we been needing all this time. I just haven’t had the platform for it to be workable until now. We fix up that skiff and I will get us plenty of nice fishes to smoke, salt, dry or pickle.” Boudreaux claimed excitedly.
“Well that might solve the food problem around here somewhat, but I am still not following your particular line of thinking. Just exactly where are you planning on fishing a big net at that we are not doing so already with a small one? And the big question is how does this idea of yours keep the kids from leaving?” David asked a bit incredulous that a bigger boat and net could do more than create more work.
“Why it’s as simple as gardening except we do it on
the water or near the water. Boudreaux said to his closely listening crowd.
“Anything simple always interests me.” Dump responded
“Gardening is a matter of your enthusiasm holding up until your back gets used to it. Just how much work are you talking about?” Stewart asked skeptically.
“Yea Boudreaux, gardening requires lots of water - most of it is usually in the form of perspiration” Goat Man said following the conversation closely.
“You ever hear the old saying “The best fertilizer is the gardener's shadow”? Well it is going to sort of work like that but we cast our own shadows by using pine knots for torches and attract the big fish that hang around over by the dam and lock at night. Maybe David can rig us a solar light later so it wont be so smoky or dangerous.” Boudreaux said outlining his plan.
“Well I suppose that will work fine but sounds like lots of extra rowing by me and Dump to just increase our stores by a small margin.” Lowbuck said wondering where this conversation was going.
“I think I am starting to follow Boudreaux line of thinking now, he means we will have a surplus that needs trading am I right buddy?” Stewart said but still wondering who he was going to trade it to if that was Boudreaux’s intent.
“Well yes, but that’s not the whole idea, no not by a long shot by jiggers! I got to thinking about all the different jobs everyone could do around here and was remembering when Melanie played beautician and fixed David’s girlfriend’s hair to look like Marilyn Monroe’s that one Halloween we celebrated. You remember David when Nancy was imitating her voice one and said one of Marilyn’s quotes? What she said always stuck with me. Marilyn Monroe was quoted to say “When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, its sex. When you have both, its health. If everything is simply Jake, then you're frightened of death.” Don’t that sound like the exact trail them kids need to go down? You see the number one ambition or aspiration most of them have is to be a trader. So we make them all traders and the money and sex thing take care of itself.” Boudreaux said beaming at his brilliant idea.
“I got ya! Then they be too worried about their health or death to move on if we make them successful.” David said enthusiastically grasping the simplicity and the wisdom of the old mans plan.
“I always considered that unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden so I am in. Maybe we can convince a few of the kids a person's time would be as well spent raising food as raising money to buy food. They really can’t all be traders you know.” LowBuck offered.
“ Yeah that’s true LowBuck, we also need to consider that in order for a person to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it seems. Those kids who will need to trade for a living got to be living closer to town so we are back in the same quandary about folks moving off.” David said pondering.
“If I may be so bold as to offer a suggestion I got an old store and house on the out skirts of town I might be willing to make an arrangement on seeing that I will be moving off most likely for good.” Mason offered.
“Now that’s an interesting thought, I got me a old place on the outskirts of the city also if it’s still standing.” Jack said joining in on the conversation. “I haven’t been there for years though and no telling what shape it’s in.” Jack said considering how quick things can deteriorate if they are not tended too.
“I went to my places about a year ago and the house has stood up well over the years, but the store is somewhat trashed other than the few remaining fixtures. I am south of the city where’s yours at Jack?” Mason inquired.
“I am a mile or so north of it. Just one town over but I had the makings for a fine hydroponics operation on my 10 acres I was putting in at one time. That is if it ain`t all looted or burned by now.” Jack said considering if it might be salvageable.
“I wonder how your church folks made out.” David said curious how the Mormon community Jack was part of had made it through after the first year the geomagnetic storm had hit.
“No telling who might have survived, they were mostly in the city but several families and friends lived in the country. I haven’t heard anything about that part of the country after I bugged out with you over 10 years ago with a wildfire heading in that direction.” Jack said looking down.
“The state emergency management command center was about 15 miles from you if I remember right. It wouldn’t have burned, its like a concrete bunker and most likely is operational again now. If you got your land deeds with you it might be a good place for you to declare residency and do a bit of spying for us if you still got a place to live.” David suggested.
“Yea, but it’s so damn far. It is about 70 miles from here as the crow flies and I ain`t up to making 10 miles a day to no where and starving my way back.” Jack said glumly
“That’s the beauty of it. Send a couple of kids to go check it out for you on community business. They get to see the outside world and find out it ain`t no bowl of cherries.” Boudreaux declared.
“Considering everyone is thinking about your new endeavor as a garden project let me throw you all another quote.” Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of the forest and the outlaw.” ~Henry David Thoreau. Mason concluded.
“Damn Mason, I am going to have to watch out for you. Quoting Thoreau, well I will be damned. Half the interest of a garden or literature is the constant exercise of the imagination so refocusing and dispersing them kids interest from the landings influence just might be the key.” David mentioned smiling.
“You just keep in mind a garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, pretty much like life itself. We can’t all of the sudden tell the kids it’s ok to go chasing rainbows without expecting the worst.” Goat said bringing up a harsh reality.
“You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt Goat, as we all have seen from day one of the apocalypse. For most folks my theory is that gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes. This reasoning has kept them sane and contributing. I need a distraction to buy us some time; many things grow in the gardens that were never sown there. A man or women’s mind who has no office to go to - I don't care who he or she is - is a trial of which you can have no conception when you consider yourself single and alone. I say we vote to establish two new trading posts regardless of risk. If madness is the seed of genius, then Boudreaux is its fertile soil.
7
Let’s Go See The Elephant
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. ~Thomas A. Edison
Martha and the ladies cooked up enough supper to feed Pharaoh’s Army and after much to do, consensuses were made to have a community gathering and introduce the kids to the concept that the elders were gently forcing them out on their own for the greater good of the community. The theory was they would be not out so far from the community that we wouldn’t be able to still snatch them back or retrieve them if troubles made their presence known in the new surroundings.
Clyde had mixed feelings about what was proposed by the elders but was proud David had stood up for him at the campfire and in his southern way had said he was in charge of the expeditions regardless of anyone’s dissent. David had said “If I’d ordered a dozen sonzabitches and they sent me only him, I wouldn’t feel shortchanged” he is the man for the job with no if ands or butt’s about it. We invest our treasure and trust in him.” David had told everyone in no uncertain terms.
Clyde was his own man when it came to influencing folks and he had his own style of managerial techniques. Being around a bunch of boisterous old men advising him on everything from drill sergeant mode to biker president style made his leadership skills quite an interesting mix. Mostly he was mild mannered though and the “handling objections” prep talk David had given him on dealing with customers from when he himself had worked as a fine jeweler made him a diplomatic trader to. You got to have a comparison other when you look at any pecking order or administrative duties for a business...
Social comparison theory is centered on the belief that there is a drive within individuals to gain accurate self-evaluations. The theory explains how individuals evaluate their own opinions and abilities by comparing themselves to others in order to reduce uncertainty in these domains, and learn how to define ones own personal self. In other words a boss leads by example and others don’t try to get away with it if the boss has made a work rule for subordinates or maintains decorum.To some this is a do as I say and not do as I do approach, but with a higher rung on the ladder you sometimes get more perks to work towards.
“ So baiscaly you are saying choose a second in command of the youth brigade here, pick someone for a scout to accompany me and do some recon for the community. On the other hand you might be testing my leadership skills and seeing if I choose to stay and send someone in my stead huh?” Clyde said calculating options and opininons.
