by K. M. Raya
Shaking my head, I step forward, slinging my gun to the side. “We agreed to meet in the middle. If we all spread out, we’ll just make it worse. Let's give them a little more time before we freak out.” I try to keep my tone pleasant, but I can tell she’s on edge. Nina is too.
Dante stands, gripping his gun in front of him as he walks over to me, glancing behind him once to make sure Nina is fine. He’s always worrying like that. I guess that’s the doctor in him, always worried about everyone but himself. His goggles are up, so I can see the worry in his hazel eyes. “You good, man?” He looks me over subtly.
“I’m good…” I hesitate, and my best friend catches it. I don’t want to sound like a little bitch, but he knows me too well to let my little slip drop.
“What’s wrong?”
Looking away, I almost involuntarily cast my eyes over to Hell, who’s now kneeling in front of Nina, speaking in hushed whispers. “Don’t be obvious about it, but can you check Hell out? She’s caked in blood, and I gotta know if she’s hurt.”
There’s a pregnant pause as he lets my words sink in. I’m fully cringing now. I do sound like a little bitch. I barely know the woman. By the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, I can tell he’s grinning under that mask. “Worried about our lovely new addition, are we? Damn, Wyatt, didn’t know you had a soft side under all that beard…”
“Fuck off, man...” Punching him in the arm, I shove him away. His laughter catches Hell’s attention. Her eyes narrow on Dante as he approaches, but she doesn’t say anything. My shoulders relax now that I know someone else is watching out for her. For some reason, I’m starting to give a shit about the little blonde. I don’t know what it is about her that’s been making me stupid, but I need to focus.
As if snapping me out of my own head, the store lights flicker on, followed by a loud humming noise that I haven’t heard in a long time. It seems so unusual to me after a year without it, but I guess I never realized how loud electricity can be when the rest of the world is silent. All of us except for Nina are on our feet, weapons drawn and ready for anything, but when I see a bright head of curly red hair come around the corner, we all relax. Missy, Alex and Ret come running over with goofy grins on their faces… well, not Alex. His perpetual scowl is still in place, but I know inside he’s feeling pretty smug right now.
“What happened to meeting in the middle?” Dante asks, knocking knuckles with Ret as they come to a stop, breathing heavily.
Ret has her face mask off, stopping for a second to heave in a few long breaths of stale air. Anything’s better than recycled respirator air, I guess. She grins. “That was the plan, until we found the service entrance around back. The good thing about camping supply stores are their generators.”
“How long do we have?” I ask, feeling excitement well up inside. A building with electricity is a delicacy these days, but I know we can’t exactly spare the fuel it would take to keep the place running.
Alex joins our little group, but not before casting a weird, vaguely hostile look towards Hell. I’m already getting tired of his attitude towards her. “This place has enough fuel to fill up the suv twice and keep the auxiliary generator running for a week, maybe more. We’re good for now as long as we can barricade that front door. There’s a horde moving in from the east, so we need to hunker down here until it passes.”
I blink at my friend. That was probably the most consecutive words I’ve heard him speak since Jessa… My chest squeezes. I shouldn’t think about that train wreck of a woman. And I haven’t… not in a while. I know that’s what’s pissing Alex off too. But he needs to find a way to get past it before he ruins any chance for us to make alliances. This world is too small to burn bridges.
“A week’s all we can spare anyways,” says Helana. All eyes go to her. She’s taken her mask off too, and it’s a fight to keep my attention off of her for longer than a few minutes. This woman’s god damn beautiful, and I’m not sure she even knows it. Such a sight for sore eyes in a world of nothing but ugliness and death. “We need to move on sooner rather than later. We were making good time before the fire.” Her eyes flit briefly to Nina and Missy, who both nod curtly.
“Got a reservation somewhere, blondie?” snaps Alex. “Somewhere you need to be?” My jaw clenches and my hands fist at my sides. He just can’t fucking help himself.
Hell’s stance widens. She crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at Alex with so much venom in her eyes he should drop dead where he stands. “As a matter of fact, I do. Not that you’re entitled to know anything about it. I didn’t ask for this ragtag band of brothers, but I’m making the most of it like a fucking adult. I’m sorry if my game plan annoys you.”
My friend’s mouth opens in a retort, but I’ve had enough, and apparently so has everyone else here. “Alright kiddies, give it a rest.” Dante steps in between them, forever the peacemaker. I’m glad it’s him and not me, because I sure as shit wouldn’t have been so nice about it. He looks at Alex and narrows his eyes. “Play nice for once in your life. You don’t have to like each other. You don’t even have to talk to each other, but you have to coexist in the same space for now or else we could actually fuck this up. Can we do that?”
Helana blinks at him, not saying a word.
“Whatever,” Alex mutters, turning away and walking off. I watch him go with a churning feeling in my stomach. He’s withdrawing farther and farther every day and it’s starting to feel like I’m losing him completely. We’re running out of ways to get through that thick skull of his… or should I say thick heart. It’s not entirely his fault. Jessa fucked us over, figuratively and literally. Sometimes I still wake up in a cold sweat, thinking I feel the ghost of her hand brushing my face, only to find a spider skittering over my skin. Jessa’s gone. And she’s never coming back. I made peace with it a long time ago, and it's time for Alex to get with the program.
I look at Ret. “You cleared the second floor, right?”
She nods. “All good. Let’s get that door barricaded.” She and Missy head over to do just that, while I turn back to a fuming Helana.
Her jaw is taut, and her shoulders are hunched. With all the stress we’re under on a day to day basis, the last thing we need is infighting. She looks at me and I try to give her a comforting smile. “He wasn’t always like this, I promise.” My promise falls flat, I can sense it the moment it’s out.
“Shit load of good it does anyone now.” Shaking her head, she casts a look in the direction he stalked off in, narrowing her bright eyes and chewing on her inner cheek. “One of these days his big mouth is going to get him in trouble with the wrong kind of people.”
Fighting a smile, I shake my head, finally ripping my own mask off my face. Cold air hits my cheeks and despite the putrid stench, I welcome it. Life inside these fucking masks is getting old.
“Agreed.”
Chapter ☣ 10
Hell
The group of us spreads out through the store, each of us needing specific items we’d made do without for a while now. The first place I go is the clothing section. I’m down to my last pair of cargo pants and that just means I’ve patched them up a few times, but they’re wearing thin.
I stick to mostly dark colors or shades of beige. I know the zoms don’t see very well, but the trappers do, so I stick with neutrals, better for blending in with my new surroundings of dust and shadows. It’s annoying, really, that we even have to worry about things other than not being eaten. I’ve come to realize a few things since this all began. The first of those things is that perhaps the monsters aren’t the thing we need to fear the most. Perhaps we should be wary of other humans above all else. There’s something to be said about that. Probably something a little more profound than I can put into words, but I like to think of it as realization. Realization that the real monsters were inside of us humans the whole time, just waiting for the excuse to be unleashed. I know. It sounds douchey even in my head, but it’s the god’s honest truth. At leas
t, it’s my truth as I’ve come to realize.
The second realization, however, is one much more tangible. That realization is that we need each other, above all else. When the world crumbles around us, and everything we’ve built fades away… what do we really have left? We have other humans. Humans whose job it is to rebuild this mess, and if we refuse to come together, then is there even anything left worth fighting for? I’m fighting to survive day to day, but if there’s nothing at the other end of the rainbow… what’s the point?
I’m sifting through the endless racks of cargo pants when I feel a cold presence over my shoulder. My knife is in my grip before my brain even realizes what’s happening. My reflexes are sharper these days. Spinning on my heel, I expect to come face to face with a zom we might have overlooked, but pull up short a second later, chest deflating and irritation surfacing. “Dammit, Alex!” He stands there behind me with a scowl on his stupidly chiseled face. “This is the zombie apocalypse, you can't just sneak up on someone like that! I almost chopped your head off!”
He just continues to stand there watching me, arms folded over his admittedly expansive chest. His mouth is in a tight, angry slash, but he says nothing. Taking a step backwards out of his personal space, I cock a single eyebrow at his unnerving silence. “Can I help you with something?”
There’s a dark twinkle in his eye that doesn’t sit right with me. He’s got a fucking grudge a mile long. “You'd better start following orders.” His eyes are hard on mine, and I can tell he belives every stupid word out of his mouth.
“Excuse me?” I spit “I don't remember electing you president.” My fingers tighten on the hilt of my knife, almost reflexively. It’s like my body somehow knows I’m in danger… although, deep down, I don’t think Alex would seriously hurt me. I know I’m not his favorite person for whatever fucked up reason, but I don’t think he wants me dead. “If this is about what happened back in the basement, it’s time to get over it. You were a dick, and you got what you had coming to you…”
Alex catches me by surprise as my body is tugged to the side and my shoulder blades hit the wall. I wasn’t expecting the contact, and so the wind rushes right out of me and my body locks up. Alex’s powerful forearm is held against my throat, but not too tight. I can breathe perfectly fine, but he’s got me rattled. “I don't know who you think you are, and trust me, I don't care, either.” His angry eyes flit between mine and his arm is almost shaking with rage. Our faces are an inch apart and his breath wafts over my lips. “But I’m not gonna to let you and your walking liabilities get me or my men killed. You follow orders and let the real men handle shit, got it?”
My heart is racing with both adrenaline and excitement, but not fear. Absurd, I know, given my current predicament. I once again feel my anger rise. Forcing myself to calm down, I know Alex can feel my muscles relax and my heart rate decrease. It throws him off, and his arm loosens only slightly, still not enough to let me out of his cage. Cocking my head to the side, I rove my eyes over his angry face, wondering what I ever did to make him lose his shit. To make him get violent. Am I really that scary?
“Why do you hate me so much?” My voice is at a whisper. I have no real anger right now, simply curiosity. I have no clue why, but this man has me feeling all sorts of things. Horny? Yes, definitely. But also irritated and perplexed. It’s a mixture I don’t want to focus too hard on. I feel dumb enough already.
His eyes narrow, and his jaw tics. “I don’t care about you enough to hate you, Helana. You and your friends don’t mean anything to me. You don’t mean anything to the guys either, trust me.” He smiles bitterly, no doubt believing he’s hurt my feelings. Little does he know that I’m not that sort of girl. “How many helpless girls do you think we’ve discovered on the road? How many did Dante nurse back to health? How many do you think made it out of that hellhole out there? You’re no different. I don’t trust you, and I want you to leave.”
“This place is ours as much as it is yours,” I grit, not giving him the satisfaction of a reaction to his words. He’s trying to goad me into having my feelings hurt and storming away like a scorned woman.
His arm presses a little harder into my throat. “Then take what you need and go. Leave before the sun sets tomorrow and we’ll never have to see eachother again. The only thing I care about are the lives of my friends. If you don’t leave, you won’t like what happens next.”
We stare angrily at one another for a minute. I can tell he thinks he’s getting to me. I’d give anything to see inside his head and figure out what makes him such a prick. He needs to know he can’t fuck with me, though. That, no, I’m not like those other women. I’m not here to cry and hide behind their pant legs. I’m not looking for a hero to latch onto and protect me from the bad, scary monsters.
Without a warning or even a twitch of a muscle to tip him off, I reach out and grab the gun from his holster, faster than he can register while simultaneously kneeing him in the groin. Cursing, Alex and all his muscles buckle, giving me time to plant my feet. He quickly recovers, though, and moves to get off the ground, but freezes.
I make a point to click off the safety once I have his attention. A look of pure shock rests on his face, coupled by anger and confusion. The way I grip the weapon should tell him I know how to use it. And that I’ll use it to blow his freakin brain out of his ear holes if he touches me like that again. I’m not kidding this time. He may be a tall drink of water on the outside, but it’s too bad he’s a mug of curdled milk on the inside. Pity. What a waste of male real estate.
I stalk towards him, gun aimed at his face. His hand creeps to the side, no doubt going for his other firearm, but I stop him with a small smile as I shake my head. “I wouldn’t if I were you.” He stops, placing his hand flat on the ground rather begrudgingly. Squatting down so he can see the anger blazing in my eyes, my boot hits his chest as I squat over his body, pressing him into the hard floor. My voice is low and quivering with rage. “If you ever threaten me or my girls again, I'll rip your throat out with my teeth.”
Silence. He blinks at me. He runs his eyes over my face, and I run my eyes over his. Then I make my way down his chest, watching his stomach flex as he breathes deep. Eyes straying lower, I suck in a tiny breath at the obvious hard bulge in his pants. It’s unmistakable. He’s turned on. Despite how angry he is, and how much he obviously hates my guts, his body can’t lie. For some reason, this sends a sick sort of thrill through me all the way to my core. My veins feel like they’re on fire as I meet his eyes again and lick my lips just to see what happens. His eyes blaze with a thousand suns, but I know that he knows that I know. I smile slow.
I let those words sink in for a minute. Let them swirl around in that thick skull and marinate a while. I let him digest the gravity of the situation, and realize I’m not here to fuck around. I mean it. I’ll protect what’s mine with every last breath in my body. He doesn’t say a word, clamping his mouth shut tightly. Good boy. Smart boy. We’re both barely breathing now, but I sure hope he understands that he’s not getting anywhere with his threats. I’ll end his life before he ever puts one of my girls in danger again. I’ll do it with a smile, too.
With those parting words, I place the gun back in his hand, not even bothering to click the safety back on. Flicking my eyes down his body and up again, I smirk. “I'm leaving the second Nina's better, don't you worry. And you might want to take care of that.”
☣
“That’s so fucked up.” Missy cackles. “He’s gonna get you back for that now.” We’re sitting on top of a checkstand conveyor belt, snacking on sunflower seeds that lost most of their flavor while I regale the story of how I made sure Alex will never sire children.
“Not if he wants to keep his nuts intact, he won't.” I snort, leaning against Missy and lowering my voice a tad. “I told him if he ever threatens me or you guys again that I’ll rip his throat out.” Her laughter grows unruly, so I pause with a cheeky grin, then whisper for emphasis, “With my te
eth...”
Missy chokes on a seed as the scene sinks in. Recovering, she squints at me, green eyes sparkling with mischief. “Look at you, making friends everywhere you go.”
Shaking my head, I pop in a few more, using this time to wind down before I seek out a way to get clean. Anubis is sprawled out at my feet, snoring like the devil, probably all tuckered out after sniffing the entire store top to bottom. “Yeah, well, the others don’t seem so bad. If only they could rangle their man child.”
She looks at me with a small grin. “Yeah, I bet the fact that two of them look at you like you’re a hot fudge sundae doesn’t hurt either.”
“You fucking liar!” I push her shoulder, shaking my head at her absurdity.
“Deny it all you want, baby girl, but those boys have it bad.”
“Right…”
“It’s okay to admit it. If you want a little hanky panky in the apocalypse, no one’s gonna shame you.”
“Who says hanky panky?!”
Missy huffs, snatching the bag of seeds from my hands. “Go ahead and live in denial, but don’t get mad when I say I told you so. I’ll put ten buckaroonies on you gettin down and dirty with one of those sexy boys in less than a week.”
I fake gasp at her audacity, clutching my hands to my chest. “You’ve got a dirty mind, little missy. My poor little heart just can’t take it...” She just chuckles, shaking her head while her curls bounce on her shoulders. “But I’ll take that bet.”
Missy’s eyes sparkle. “Thought so.”
“So what's the plan?” she asks finally. “Can we trust these guys?” She fiddles with her hands nervously. I know she’s worried about Nina. Dante’s making sure she gets to sleep right now with whatever medicine he still has left in that stash of his, but I know it worries her, leaving her girlfriend in the care of a stranger.
Shrugging, I give her an honest answer. “I don’t know yet. We should lay low for a bit and feel them out. So far everyone else seems pretty... normal.” Shaking my head, I frown, thinking back on Alex’s weird, hostile attitude. “Something’s wrong with their friend, though. I think something shitty happened to him, and for some reason it makes him suspicious of women. I need to keep my eye on him, but if we’re lucky, we’ll be out of here in a week or so and we’ll never have to deal with him again.”
