by K. M. Raya
Alex nods curtly, triumph flaring in his light blue eyes. I don’t want to, but for some reason, I believe him, despite the fact that my entire brain, body and heart rebels. I barely know this woman and yet the thought of her disappearing makes me sick. In this world, once a person is gone, there's no guarantee of ever seeing them again. We already learned that the hard way and fuck if I’m letting it happen again. “We need to stop her,” I tell the guys. Wyatt’s already nodding.
Alex huffs, shaking his head. “Of course you’d say that. Go ahead, man, knock yourself out. That girl doesn’t give a shit about any of us, so prepare to be disappointed yet again.”
Abandoning the weapons and my friends, I take off after Helana. I need to talk her out of this before her plans become set in stone. I don’t know why she’s so determined so take off, especially when we found a place this amazing, but I have to find out and convince her to give us a chance. Ever since Jessa, it’s just been the three of us until we met Ret. I see why Alex feels the way he does, but it doesn't mean he just gets to run off anyone we meet like this.
It’s been so long since we’ve found anything that resembles happiness, and for the first time, I’m beginning to feel the faintest trembles of the feeling again. Whenever she looks at me, or when she smiles at Anubis or jokes around with Missy… I feel something that’s been absent for way too long. She makes me feel alive again. And I can’t let that just up and walk away. I won’t. I may not know her well yet, but that’s about to change.
I find her in an aisle, sitting on the floor with different colored arrows spread out around her. Her dagger lays to her side, and her long hair is tossed over one shoulder as she chews on her cheek. “Find anything good?”
Looking up, Hell smiles softly before looking back down at the yellow arrow in her hands. She’s inspecting everything about it, telling me she actually knows what she’s looking for. “I still can’t believe our luck with this place.”
“Mind if I help?” I ask, taking a seat on the floor next to her.
She nods. “You know how to shoot?”
“Guns, yes. Arrows, not so much.”
She laughs, and the sound warms my chest and makes my stomach do a little flip. I want to make her laugh like that some more, just so I can listen to the new music. “Hmm, well, we might have to remedy that, won't we?”
I pick up a green arrow and twirl it in my fingers. “I was actually coming to ask if you wouldn’t mind giving me some pointers.” She looks back up, surprised. “Look... I love guns as much as the red blooded guy, but I think what you said back there was smart. We’ve been shooting our way through the country for the better part of a year and we’ve got our asses into a lot of trouble doing it. I think you're right about stealth, and I’d be willing to learn if you’re willing to teach me.” I pause as she seems to be mulling it over. “That is... if you stick around long enough.”
Helana pulls back and frowns, confusion giving way to realization. “Ah, I see you talked to Alex.” Her golden eyes darken at the mention of Alex. It pisses me off the way he’s been trying his hardest to alienate her. I hate the way he makes her look so unsure.
“Is it true?” I ask, unable to help prying. “You planning on ditching us when your friend is better?”
She’s quiet for a minute before taking a deep breath. My heart thumps hard while I wait for her answer. “I mean, yeah, why wouldn’t we? No offense, Dante, but we don’t even know each other. I’m grateful that you’ve been taking care of Nina, but you're not obligated to babysit us.”
My whole stomach squeezes uncomfortably. “You think that's what this is about?” My eyes widen and she shrugs. Shaking my head, I roll my shoulder and plant my forearms over my bent knees, still fiddling with the arrow to keep my hands busy. “I never thought you needed a babysitter, but you gotta understand, there aren’t many of us left. You’re the first real people we’ve come across in months, and I think that has to mean something.”
She rolls her eyes. “What, like fate? Give me a break.”
“No, not like fate.” I smirk. She’s fucking cute when she gets argumentative. I won’t tell her that, though, I’d like to keep all my teeth intact. “But maybe like… luck? Are you really willing to walk away so easily?”
“Are you not?” she asks. The arrow she was holding clatters to the floor. “You aren’t the first guys who wanted a piece of us, you know. You think I don’t see the way you look at me? Wyatt too... I’m not blind.”
My heart stutters a little at her bluntness. This chick isn’t fucking around. Ok, I just need to roll with it then, I’m not about to deny it. “So, what?” I ask, unashamed. “You’re hot, Helana. I’d be an idiot not to notice.” She shakes her head and makes a move to stand. Reaching out, I take a chance, laying a hand on her arm. Hell pauses and goes back to sitting, waiting expectantly. “But you’re also smart, capable, and a fucking kick ass fighter.” She smiles at that. I can tell she’s a sucker for a compliment that isn’t about her looks. “I saw the way you and your girls handled those zoms the other day. We need people like you if we’re going to beat this.”
“Beat this?” she laughs bitterly. “What are we trying to beat? There’s millions of them against a handful of us. I’m not fighting a war, I’m just trying to get…” She pauses.
“Trying to get where?”
She looks at me, cocking her head like she’s trying to figure out what she should tell me. There aren’t many people you can trust these days, but I want her to know that I’m one of those people. We sit in silence, staring at each other for a tense minute. Her golden eyes are taking me in and I’d give my left nut to know what she’s thinking. I’m usually the one with the charm and the jokes… or at least I used to be before all this mess started. I was an EMT back in real life, fresh out of the program, but I was a cocky mother fucker. I don’t feel so sure all the sudden.
The way Helana studies me makes me feel vulnerable. Like I’ve finally met someone worth knowing for real. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that she’s the first actual female I’ve met in the past three months that’s not a lesbian, but I digress. Her lips part, a response on the tip of her tongue when Wyatt comes around the corner. “Missy’s got food on the camping stove and Ret says Hell found some actual showers?” Wyatt’s eyebrows rise and fall a few times, a goofy smile stretching his lips.
“Showers, where?” I perk up, hopping to my feet. As much as I want to hear what Hell was about to say, the prospect of washing all this filth off sounds like heaven.
She hops up too, gathering a few of her prizes before walking towards the end of the aisle. She’s wearing a cheeky smile that makes her look ten times cuter than before. “I may have found them before I came up here…” She shrugs. “I may have let the girls in on the secret first.” She disappears around the corner, and the both of us watch her go, but our eyes are definitely not on the back of her head.
Chapter ☣ 12
Hell
Dinner isn’t half bad. Missy scrounged up some old camping meals. They come in little metallic bags that remind me of the MRE’s we used to eat out in the jungle during training. Those days out in Japan seem like a lifetime ago, but somehow I’d give almost anything to be back there with my squad instead of fighting the dead every day.
We divided up the meals, and somehow I ended up with rice, beans and cheese, but I’m not complaining. The girls and I have been passing around cans of fruit cocktail for a week now, so some actual food tastes like pure freakin ambrosia right now. One by one, the guys trickle back into the room. We’re sitting in a large circle on the bottom floor of what used to be a camping and fishing section. We’ve erected a tent for Nina to have a little privacy in, and a camping stove sits in the center of our circle.
We couldn’t keep it on long, just enough to boil some water for instant coffee. Had we kept it running, the fumes would have filled the enclosed space and poisoned us all. But we really don't need much right now. The overhea
d lighting is dim, since it's only auxiliary power. We didn’t want to use up all the generator’s power, just in case we end up having to stay here longer than we thought.
Looking around, everyone looks much better than they did this morning. Those showers saved our lives… and our noses. I almost forgot what it felt like to be truly clean and to smell like something other than rubbing alcohol and rusty blood. I keep catching myself running my fingers through my long hair, nostalgic for the days when I could use a straightener, or maybe curl it a little bit and feel like a woman. Those things are impractical now, and I’m sure I’ll never have a reason to use any of them again, but a girl can fantasize.
I’m finishing off the last of my dinner when Dante starts passing around small cups of instant coffee. I can’t help but moan under my breath, “Thank you.” I look up when he gives me mine and smile. His eyes hold mine for a beat longer. He grins softly with a wink. My cheeks feel hot for some reason, so I look down and pretend to stare into the warm black liquid.
I know Dante wants us all to stay together. Most people would want the same, but I just don’t think it’s possible. Not when Alex over there is looking for any reason to get rid of us. And not when we already have somewhere we need to be. I have no reasonable idea of what might be left of dad’s property in Nevada, but I have to hope. If anyone could survive this thing it would be dad and the boys. The property is smack in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mountain ranges, so if I’m going to place my bets on anything, it’ll be the ranch.
Thinking about home brings a smile to my face. I miss it so much it makes my heart hurt. Back in the military, I had moments of homesickness, but this is different. At least when I was gone before, I always knew with absolute certainty that home was waiting for me when I got back. Now, I just don’t know that for sure. I love to think daddy’s still out there, patrolling the property with his long bushy beard and his pipe sticking out of his smiling mouth. I picture his big ole belly and those laughing green eyes. He always smelled like pipe tobacco and gunpowder… a weird combination that was uniquely him.
And then there are the boys. My brothers. My best friends. I miss them like one misses a missing limb. I hope they’re out there keeping the ranch safe, and looking after anyone who fled there seeking out safety and protection. In fact, I just know they are. That’s how my family rolls. Surely my father’s militiamen… what's left of them, anyways, are creating a safe haven for survivors. It’s our duty, after all. It’s what keeps me moving forward every single day of this wretched life.
As I sip my coffee, luxuriating in the rich, smokey flavor, my eyes slide sideways, where Wyatt is pulling something from his pocket. Silver glints in the low lighting, and I raise a single eyebrow at the mountain man. “Holding out on us?”
He looks up, grinning under that lovely beard of his. Unscrewing the cap of his small flask, he adds a dash of its contents to his coffee before passing it around the circle. We all sneak in a little bit of the good stuff, using it to warm our aching bodies if even for one night. The flavor immediately brings me back to long weekends with my squad. The memories bring a smile to my face, content to relax for the first time in a while.
“I’ve got an idea,” Dante announces. All eyes go to him expectantly. Leaning forward, he sets his cup on the floor and drapes his arms over his knees. “Let’s tell some stories.”
Alex snorts. “What, like campfire stories? This isn’t the boy scouts.”
Dante shoves him, shaking his head. “Fuck off, man. Nah, I mean like real stories.” We all blink at him, unsure what he wants us to say. Rolling his hazel eyes, Dante clears his throat. “Alright, how about this. Try to think of the absolute weirdest situation you've been in since all this started.”
“You mean aside from the dead coming back to life and snacking on our friends and family?” I ask in a dry tone before taking a small sip.
He blinks at me, obviously fighting a grin. “Aside from the obvious.”
Setting my drink down too, I lean forward. “Alright, I’m game. But you can go first.”
The group is quiet, but Dante shakes his head. “Sorry, girly, but I’m the one who came up with the game, so I don’t have to go first.” He looks around. “Anyone brave enough?”
“I’ve got a story,” says Ret. She’s been quiet since we sat down, and I admit that I’ve been kind of avoiding her eyes since that shower earlier. I don’t know what passed between the two of us, but now I feel all strange when she’s around. I don’t want to look too much into it because I feel stupid.
Ret sits up straighter, adding another splash of special sauce to her coffee. Looking up, she grins evilly at Dante. “Picture it,” she says dramatically. “Mexico...”
Dante lets out a long, drawn out groan, throwing his head in his hands. “I fucking knew you would pull that one out of your ass. Okay, new plan, lets all sit in silence until we fall asleep.”
Ret shakes her head. “You started it, so we’re gonna finish it.” She shrugs, completely unapologetic.
“Okay now I have to hear it,” says Missy. She looks at me and smiles.
“I’m with Missy and Ret. You wanted to play, so play.” We all look at Ret again and I nod for her to go on, “So, Mexico…”
Her smile is all teeth. “So we’re somewhere near the border, around four months back. Smack in the middle of the desert, and not a zombie for miles.”
“That sounds like heaven,” says Missy dreamily.
“You’d think.” Ret shakes her head. “But when you’re down to one shared bottle of water and a can of green beans, the city starts to sound pretty nice. Anyways, we stumble on this old building that turns out to be a convent. You know, one of those stone buildings with the arched doorways and churches where nuns and priests used to live.” We all nod. “Well, inside, we came across four nuns still hunkered down, living off their own farming. They had a well out back for water plus goats, chickens and even a cow. Looked like they were doing pretty well for themselves, so we asked if we could stay for a while.”
“Such nice women,” Dante says wistfully, shaking his head with a faraway look.
Alex and Wyatt both snort at the same time, and Wyatt chucks a piece of food at him. Ret shakes her head. “So anyway, we stay there for two full days of well water showers and good food, until Dante decides to ruin it for everyone. Luckily, we had a chance to sleep and fill our canteens before they kicked our asses out.”
“You got kicked out by nuns? That doesn’t sound very godly to me,” Missy says.
Beretta glares over at Dante, who looks like he wants to fall through a hole in the floor. “It was a Sunday, according to the nuns, so they invited us for communion. We accepted out of respect, even though none of us are actually religious. Well, there was this one nun in particular, let's just say she was…”
“Fuckin hot,” Dante interjects, making me almost spit my coffee out. He doesn’t even look ashamed as he grins. “She was hot, and all of you know it.”
Ret laughs. “She was alright, but that’s no excuse, you fucking barbarian. So, picture it, we’re lined up for communion, taking turns sipping wine and letting the nuns place one of those cracker things on our tongues. I was just thankful for the food and boos, but Dante had to ruin it all since he can’t keep his dick in his pants even in a church. It just so happens the one giving us communion was the…” She glances at Dante pointedly, “moderately attractive one.”
Looking at us, Dante shakes his head. “She was hot.”
“So she gets to him and asks him if he’d like to accept and taste the body of Christ, and what does this dense motherfucker tell her?” She looks at Dante.
Suddenly, Wyatt can’t take it anymore. He’s practically bursting at the seams and blurts, “He tells her there’s another body he’d much rather be tasting.” A beat of silence passes before I can’t handle it. Coffee practically shoots from my nose. My shoulders shake as I picture this unfolding. Missy’s losing her mind, barely able to breathe, and
even Alex wears a small half smile. For him, it might as well be the same as rolling on the floor peeing his pants.
Dante puts his hands up, palms facing forward with red cheeks. “It’s not my fault Sister Tabitha had such a dirty mind…”
“You sucked on her fucking finger when she put the cracker in your mouth!” Ret yells and we all fall into another fit of laughter. “They kicked our heathen asses outta that convent so fast we barely had time to gather supplies.”
Dante just smiles. “Worth it.”
It takes a while for our laughter to die down. My chest feels warm and tingly, and it dawns on me that I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that. It feels better than I remember, like flexing a muscle I forgot about. After we all manage to calm down, Dante get’s a suspicious looking sparkle in his eyes as he looks between Missy and I. “Alright, you heard ours, no it’s your turn. What’s the craziest situation you’ve been in so far?”
“Well, I don’t think we can top hitting on nuns, but…” I pretend to think for a minute, even though I already know which story to tell.
“Try us,” Wyatt says. He’s reclined against his pack now, looking content and relaxed. “Don’t hold back.”
I look over at Missy and wink. She rolls her eyes, already knowing which story I’m thinking about. “Okay, so we started out in this college town. It was about two months into the outbreak, and we were running from a horde.” The others start to lean in. “We had to ditch the car we were using because the gas was almost gone and the neighborhood was too quiet. So we took off on foot, and ended up at what used to be a frat house. It was one of those gigantic ivy league schools with the mansions and stuff.” Missy’s already trying not to laugh. “So we clear the house and hunker down, and I go upstairs to change clothes since I was covered in blood. I was in the middle of changing, when the closet door flew open and two zoms stumbled out. I don’t know how we missed them before.”
“Thought you cleared the place,” says Alex. His comment surprises me. It surprises me he’s even listening.
