by Tara Lee
“Eli, baby you need to wake up, we haven't had long enough yet, we need more time. I can't go on without you, please wake up.” I am begging him.
“I can't lose you. You can't leave me, not like this” I say getting angry at him. I hold his hand and sob.
My head rests near his head. The tears rack though my body. Praying to anyone to in hope that it will help him survive.
Time feels like it slows down on the ride to the hospital, like it had taken forever.
They rush Eli through the doors at the hospital and I’m not allowed to follow; the doctors tell me I had to wait.
I’m alone, standing in a hospital, covered in my fiancés blood, not sure whether he will live or die and now I can’t even be with him, I fall to the floor and sob.
“Miss, is there someone I can call for you?”” a voice says quietly.
I sob harder as arms wrap around me.
“Come on sweetie, he is in good hands. Let me help you up. Let’s get you cleaned up and I can call someone, a friend a family member perhaps?” this sweet voice says.
“M-m-my brother.” I say through sobs.
A set of arms help me up. There is a nurse in front of me but the arms around me, they belonged to one of the officers that was at our house.
He had followed us here.
“You're brother’s number?” The nurse asks.
I tell her Jensen's number, she says she will be right back.
The officer walks me to a chair and sits me down another nurse brings some wet towels to wash me.
I looked at myself I’m covered in blood, Eli's blood!
“Where is Hannah?” I simply ask.
“She is in custody.” The officer replies.
“She will be arrested and charged for attempted murder.”
“She was aiming for me.” I whisper.
“It was supposed to be me.” I say putting my face in my hands.
“Well it looks like your man saved you.” He replies.
“I can't lose him” I tell him.
The nurse rubs my shoulder. “Miss.”
“Charli.” I tell her.
“Well Charli our doctors are doing all they can to save him, they will do everything they can but you have to try and stay strong for him.”
I nod but I can't talk anymore, I just need to see Eli, I need to see him and make sure he is okay.
I look back at the doors, breathing heavily through my tears, I just needed to see him.
I say a little prayer, I’ve never said one before but I need a miracle right now.
Please let him be okay. Please don't let him die I beg you.
I have prayed so much tonight.
The nurse helps wash Eli’s blood off me but I can’t move, I just sit there, staring at the doors. When the nurse finishes wiping the blood off me, she sits with me while I wait. She holds my hand while I cried but she never says a word she just holds me, she knows words aren’t going to help right now. I catch her name tag out of the corner of my eye.
Kate.
Kate doesn’t look much older than me, she squeezes my hand softly letting me know she is here. I sob harder, I can’t control the tears breaking free from my body.
She wraps her arms around my shoulders as we sit there for what seems like hours.
My tears have stopped, I am all cried out and there is nothing left in my body.
“CHARLI.”
I look up and see Jensen running towards me. He pulls me up, wrapping me in his arms.
My tears start again, I sob while Jensen holds me. So much for being cried out.
I hear other voices asking the nurse and officer what happened. I realise it’s the guys, Jensen must have called them.
“I'm going to lose him?” I whisper through tears.
“Don't you dare think like that Mad's, Eli's a tough son of a bitch and he will fight this.” He says as he rubs my back trying to comfort me. My head is buried in his chest as he holds me tight against him.
The officer explains to Jensen what happened.
“Fuck, you serious?” he says.
The officer nods.
“I hope you have locked her crazy ass up.” he barks. “Yes she is in custody.” The officer replies.
“We will need your statement.” He tells me.
“I-I can't not until I k-know Eli is okay.” I stammer, he nods seeming to understand.
Jensen holds me for what seems like a lifetime as images of Eli and my future flash through my mind or are they images of a future we will never have.
The doctor comes out, we all hold our breath
“He is in a stable condition now but it is still early and he is in an induced coma,” The Doctor says
He is alive!
“We lost him twice, but he is a fighter. We are keeping a close eye on him and once we know more,” the doctor continues
They lost him twice, he died twice....
“Can I see him?” I ask the Doctor.
“He needs his rest…” The doctor starts to reply before he looks into my eyes and see’s my desperation.
“Okay, you can see him but the rest of you are going to have to wait”
The doctor takes me through to Eli, he is hooked to tubes his eyes are closed, he looks almost peaceful, and the Doctor sits a chair next to Eli’s bed for me.
“I’ll leave you with him but I’m just outside if you need anything” He says.
The Doctor leaves the room as I lean in to Eli.
“Eli baby, it’s me Charli, you keep fighting baby.” I say through tears.
“There is something that I need to tell you baby and I have been waiting to surprise you with this but I guess now will have to do…” I take a deep breath. “I’m pregnant, you’re going to be a daddy, Eli, so I need you to wake up…no, we need you to wake up,” I tell him, placing my hand on his as tears roll down my cheeks.
E
I SPEND HOURS BY ELI’S bed, but still no sign of improvement. The doctors tell us it will be touch and go for a while and we must be patient.
Eli is allowed more visitors and the guys all take turns visiting Eli’s room with me.
They all tell me to stay positive and that he is strong.
I eventually fall asleep in my chair with my head resting on the edge of Eli’s bed, I’m not moving from his side, they would have to carry me out.
Hours turn to days, I only realise time has passed by the different nurses that come to check on Eli.
The beeping sound coming from the machines hooked up to Eli echo through the room he had tubes and cords coming out of him everywhere.
He looks so fragile in the bed his pale skin is so contrast against his hospital gown.
Jensen, Carter and Tyler have gone to our place to clean up the blood I knew there would have been a lot.
Jensen comes in each day to check on Eli and me. He brings me clothes and some of Eli’s stuff for him for when he woke up.
Jensen had called my boss to explain everything, Harley understood but I don’t care if he didn't, the only thing that matters is Eli.
I’m not leaving until Eli is awake and coming home with me.
Each day I wake to Eli still under, the doctors tell me he is doing better but I can’t see it.
I have lost track of how long I’ve been by at his bedside for.
I try my hardest to stay positive but fear often creeps in, what if he never wakes up and what if he never gets to meet his child.
Chapter 30
ELI
2 weeks later…
WHERE AM I? I CAN’T move I hear voices and sounds but I can't open my eyes I try my hardest but I just can’t do it, they are so heavy. I can hear Charli she is talking to
someone, I will myself to wake up so I can see her but I slip back
into a deep sleep. E
MY HEAD HURTS I NEED to open my eyes but the lights are so bright. I reach my arm up to shield the brightness and I feel someone grab my hand.
“Eli, you’re aw
ake?” Her voice is like an angel’s, music to my ears.
It is Charli, it’s my girl.
“Lights.” I tell her having trouble moving, it feels like I am weighed down.
My throat is so sore and dry it feels like sandpaper.
“Hang on I'll turn them off,” she says. “Is that better?”
She holds my hand so tight. I can feel her shaking.
I nod, I am finally able to open my eyes slowly and see my beautiful girl standing there, she is covered by a white light that shone around her, she really is an angel.
Charli falls in a heap on me and wrapping her arms around me and bursting into tears.
“Hey,” I say as I brush her hair out of her face, so I can see her.
“Why are you crying, baby?” I ask
“You were shot, you died twice, and you have been in a coma for two weeks.”
She says standing up off me trying to hold her tears back but they fall down her cheeks.
I raise my heavy hand and wipe her tears away with my thumb.
Okay I can see why she is crying now, smiling at her I weakly pull her to me and kiss her.
“I'm here baby, I'm not going anywhere.” I say, my throat hurts when I talk but I have to reassure her, she is visibly upset.
“I thought I'd lost you, she is crazy, and she shot you and nearly killed you.”
Who is she talking about?
“Who baby, what are you talking about?”
I ask confused.
She simply says, “Hannah.”
Had Hannah shot me? Why can't I remember?
“I have to get a doctor,” Charli says.
“Don't go back to sleep, alright? I can't lose you,” she says through her tears.
“Baby I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere, I promise.”
Nodding, satisfied that I’m not going to go back to sleep, she leaves to get a doctor.
Hannah shot me, what the fuck?
A few seconds later Charli comes back with a doctor.
“Looks like someone has finally decided to join us,” The doctor beams at me.
“It was touch and go there for a while, but you fought every step,” he says.
“I was shot?” I ask him.
The doctor looks at Charli.
“He doesn't remember,” she says.
“That's normal, you may have some short-term memory loss, but it should come back maybe in snippets but you will remember some things,” he says.
I reach for Charli. She comes willingly.
I smile up at her and she smiles back at me, I had missed this smile, I could have lost this all of it.
I pat the side of the bed and she curls up next to me.
“I will have to check you over.” The doctor says.
“Charlotte, could you step out for a second please,” he asks her.
“What? She isn't going anywhere,” I start to argue.
“It’s okay Eli, I can wait outside the door I know you are awake now, I can go tell the others.”
The others who was she talking about?
“Everyone is out in the waiting room Jensen, the guys and your mother.” She replies. Her face drops saying the last one.
My mother I haven't seen her in years, why the hell was she here?
“Why is my mother here?” I ask.
“Jensen got in touch with her when— when— we thought.” She says looking at the floor. She is twisting her hands in front of her, hating having to say the last part,
“When you thought I would die?” I say as I grabbed her hand.
She started to cry on me again.
“Hey.”
I say, pulling her to me laid next me. I didn’t care what the doctor said he was going to have to wait. I was holding my girl, she must have been through so much while I was laying in this bed, not knowing if I would wake up or not. She thought she had lost me.
Charli cries letting out everything she had. I hold her tightly as I kiss her head, rubbing her shoulder.
“I'm okay baby, I'm not going anywhere I promise,” I say
“I was so scared.”
“I know baby and I'm so sorry, you went through that but I promise you I'm not going anywhere.”
“You’re stuck with me,” I add playfully, kissing her nose.
After she has calmed down and I assure her I’m not going anywhere, Charli leaves to tell everyone I was awake and lets the doctor check me over.
The doctor does his check, checking over every part of me. He tells me everything looks good but I still have a long recovery and I must be careful of infection and opening my wound up but otherwise I should be able to go home in a couple days.
He gives me some water and tells me to take small sips. A nurse comes in and gave me some food.
Charli comes back in to the room she
“Your mother is outside and she wants to talk to you” she says.
Frustrated, I don't want to talk to her, she didn't care about me when I was a kid. Why care now?
My mother was a crack addict and a drunk who had left me when I was sixteen to fend for myself.
Leaving me was the best thing she has ever done for me, before then it was an endless cycle of boyfriends who would give her drugs and beat her and when they were finished with her they would beat me and my mother was too high, too drunk or to selfish to care.
The damage has already been done. I blocked a lot of the shit out of my head, she is the reason I didn’t have relationships, she is the reason I never let people get close and she is the reason I had lost sight of who I was that is until I let Charli into my life and she changed everything.
I let out a frustrated breath knowing I have to face the woman that is my mother after all these years.
“Baby, go get her I'll talk to her, but not for long.”
“Do you want me leave? I can give you—”
I interrupt her before she can finish that sentence.
“Hell no baby, you are not leaving my site again I’m keeping you close.” I tell her as I smile at her.
She smiles back.
Charli goes to get my poor excuse of a mother.
This is one conversation I am not looking forward to.
They both entered my room minutes later, I look at my mother and I wait for her to say something.
“I'd like to speak to you privately Eli.” Are the first words out of her mouth, as she looks at Charli.
I laughed at her.
“Charlotte is my fiancé, she isn't leaving my sight, and so whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of her.”
I snap at her.
“Fine.” she mutters.
She takes a deep breath
“I'm sorry, I haven't seen you since you were sixteen,” she says.
“Seen me… mother, you deserted me… Left me to fend for myself,” I say angrily.
“I’m sorry. I've changed I've been sober for three years now, I even got a job and I—I.” she stutters.
“Just spit it out,” I say.
“I found Harry.” She says almost too quietly.
My face goes pale, Harry my older brother, she found him.
I haven't heard or seen him since I was thirteen he left when he was sixteen.
As soon as he could, he spilt. Leaving me behind. After he left things got a lot worse.
I thought he was dead. I never looked for either of them my mother or Harry, I didn't want to, I was angry at them both, I still am.
Charli pulls my hand into hers and locks her fingers in mine giving me support.
She can tell this is too much for me.
“How did Jensen find you?” I ask her.
“Their grandmother did, before she died and I still had the same number. I guess he thought it was worth a shot.” She replied.
“He said he found the number in her old phone book a week ago.” She added
I nod, “like I gave a shit, I wish Jensen hadn’t called” I tell her
She hangs her head.
>
“Harry wants to see you.” She says with a faint smile.
She doesn't look right, I think she is lying to me about being clean.
Is she still using? Who knows she lies about everything.
“You and Harry don't just get to come back in my life like nothing happened, you both deserted me when I needed you the most and you.” I let out a deep breath.
“Let your boyfriends beat me.”
I snap at her.
“I didn't let them Eli, I was high I—.”
“Stop making excuses. Like that makes it any better. You never told them to leave me alone and you never told them to stop.”
I snap at her, interrupting her, she can’t make excuses and I don’t want her apology it is a little too late for any of that.
She is about to say something else when there was a knock on the door.
The door swings open
I know right away who it is, we always looked alike.
“Harrison.” I say
He looks at me and smiles.
“Hey little brother, it’s been a long time,” he says.
No shit, did he really just say that?
“Who the fuck do you think you are, do you think you can walk in here with a ‘hey little brother’ you lost the right to call me brother when you left me in that hell hole. You where my big brother you were supposed to protect me, instead you left me to get the shit kicked out of me.” I yell at Harrison
“Both you and our mother have been dead to me for years, I don't need either of you, I haven’t needed you to become a man and I don’t need you now I am one,” I say
I hate that I can't just get up and walk out of this room or knock Harrison out but I am stuck in this damn bed.
I hate them both and knowing they were both here in this room with me made me even angrier. I can never forget what happened to me. Neither of them protected me. Neither of them cared.
We stare at each other. Neither of us saying anything. I hate him so much, I used to look up to Harrison and I used to dream he would come back and save me. Take me away from it all but he never did.
The nightmare I had as a child growing up, in that house with my junkie mother and her endless supply of abusive boyfriends.
The first time one of them beat me was because I spilt my drink on the floor, I was eight years old, I was a child. The piece of shit laughed as he beat me, I cried so hard and begged him to stop but he just laughed in my face.
