by Holt, Leah
“What about your sister?” I asked, rubbing my body against his dick, feeling how turned on he was.
“I heard her leave out the front door a minute ago. We're alone, no need to worry.” Slipping his hand up my shorts, Jayden brushed my clit with the tip of his finger, flicking my swollen bud.
“Ahh,” I groaned softly as electricity sparked through my veins, making every inch of muscle in my body tingle.
Biting down on the inside of my cheek, he pulled my panties away from my pussy and drove a single finger inside. Fucking me with his hand, I rubbed my clit against his palm as he fucked me dangerously slow.
Butterflying my legs wider, I rode his hand. I could feel the juice from my pussy as it soaked his finger. Rocking a little faster, I pulled out his cock and started to stroke it.
Wrapping my hand around his shaft, I moved from base to tip, up and down, over and over until his crown was shiny and swollen and his body trembled when I ran my thumb over his head.
Jayden let out a throaty growl, closing his eyes and dropping his head back. Thrusting a second finger inside me, he plunged in and out, over and over, thumbing my clit until my thighs were shaking, and sweat was beading up on the back of my neck.
Digging his fingers into my hips, he flipped me over onto my stomach, bending me over the table. Curling my fingers around the edge of the table, he reached around my front and unbuttoned my shorts.
“This is mine,” he said, swiping his fingers up my pussy and circling my asshole. “This has always been mine.” The tip of his cock pressed my entrance, his skin hot and warm as he tempted the opening. “Tell me you've always been mine.”
“I'm yours, I've always been yours.”
Thrusting his hips, his cock slid inside my body, stretching my walls wide. “Again, say it again.”
“I've always been yours.”
Thrust.
“Again.”
“I'm yours, Jayden, I'm yours.”
Thrust.
Harder and harder his hips pistoned, in and out, deeper and deeper. “That's right my Blue bird, you're mine and I'm yours.”
Resting my face on the table, Jayden fucked me from behind, holding my hips in place and slamming his cock in hard and fast. Our breathing was heavy, our words thinning as grunts and moaning became our language.
I felt my lower belly start to clench, causing my fingers to tighten on the table and my moans to grow louder.
Jayden's cock stiffened with each moan that escaped my lips. My pussy milked his length as the orgasm bubbled from below until it swept my body like a wave crashing on the shore.
With one final thrust, Jayden pulled his cock free, aiming his head at my ass. Hot come shot from his length, painting my ass in sticky, white puddles.
Laying his head on my back, he brushed the hair away from my neck and kissed me. Pushing off me, he grabbed a cluster of napkins and wiped his cock. Standing up, I turned to face him. Jay handed me a few napkins to clean myself off, and tucked his dick back into his pants.
Stepping to the counter he grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured himself a cup of coffee. His back was to me, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and tell him I was sorry for everything.
But I didn't, because I didn't know how.
Twisting around, Jay gripped the counter with one hand and sipped the hot liquid. “So, what is it that you want to tell me?”
Sucking in a big gulp of air, I let it out slowly. It was time, no more secrets, no more pretending like the truth was some false statement my father had fed me.
Locking eyes with him, I spit it out, not even trying to find a gentle way to say it.
He had already lost a decade of time, I couldn't take anymore from him.
“Jayden, Bliss is your daughter.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Jayden
What did she just say?
I felt my back bump against the counter as I lost my footing and fell backwards. Her words kept replaying in my head, but I couldn't have heard her right.
I wasn't a father. I couldn't have a child.
There was no way that her daughter was mine. . .
The last time I saw Blue she looked the same as always. I didn't see a bump under her shirt, her chest didn't look engorged, and her face wasn't plumped.
This has to be some type of joke.
“Yeah, okay,” I said, with a slight chuckle.
She's playing a trick on me, trying to see how I'll act.
Blue took a step closer, her fingers plucking and fiddling with her bottom lip. “Bliss, she is your—our daughter.”
“You're serious?” I asked as thick lines crept across my forehead. “Because if you're trying to screw me with or something, it's not funny.”
“It's not a joke, I've wanted to tell you since the beginning, but I couldn't.” Crossing her arms, she kept nibbling her bottom lip with her teeth, staring at me with fear in her eyes.
I didn't know what to say
“Bliss is really my daughter? She's my child?” Nodding, Blue took another step in, her eyes peering up at me under hooded lids. “How is that possible?” I asked, my eyes blazed with confusion.
None of this was making sense. We had sex one time when we were younger, that was it. Bliss had to be the product of Blue's marriage, that made sense, that was the only thing that seemed plausible.
“Do I really need to explain that part?” Blue tried to force a smile, but it was easy to see she was nervous as hell.
Raking my fingers through my hair, I stood with my eyes open wide. “I don't believe this. You were married before, we haven't been together in years, how could she be mine?”
“Jayden,” Blue said, reaching out and gripping my arm. “I was two months pregnant the day you came to my house. Bliss was born May eighth, two thousand and nine, she weighed seven pounds six ounces, and she has your eyes, your nose—and your stubbornness.” Taking her wallet out of her purse, she pulled out a picture of Bliss when she was really little, and passed it to me. “Just look at her.
Holding that picture, it felt like I was peering into my own eyes at her age. All I could see was myself. Her smile, the way her hair curled up around her ears, her high cheekbones and chunky round face.
Cocking my head, I held the picture up to my face, trying to get a closer look. I was hesitant to believe her, even though Bliss really did have so many of the Henry traits. The color of her hair, the little bump at the end of her nose, the same thin lips.
Handing me a second picture, Blue said, “This is her school picture from kindergarten.” Digging around in her wallet, she took out another small picture, but this one was old and tattered, yellow in color. “Here, hold them side by side.”
The picture was of me, same grade as Bliss, wearing a blue and yellow striped shirt that was way to big for my small frame. The collar was all stretched out, so I had pulled it up to my throat, the sleeves were five times thicker than the thin, spaghetti sized arms I had.
I remembered that day, my mother waking me up by brushing my hair with her fingertips, leaning close to my face as she whispered, 'Jay Jay, rise and shine.' She had made me blueberry pancakes and packed me a lunch that consisted of a bologna sandwich and cream filled cookies.
That memory was one of my favorites. It was so vivid, each and every moment of that day I could give you detail for detail.
“You still have this?”
“Yeah,” she said, a shy smile teasing her lips as she nodded. “I have them all still.”
After Blue and I had started dating, we were going through my father's closet while he was out getting drunk one day, and came across a box of old school photos. I only had pictures up to third grade, because that was the year my mother died.
I was ten years old, and it wasn't until she was at the very end of her life that I learned what was happening. She had gotten really skinny, her hair was super thin, her face sunken in around her cheeks and eyes. It all happened so fast, an agg
ressive parasite that was eating her away on the inside.
My mother had breast cancer. It wasn't until I was older that I found out she had been diagnosed while she was pregnant with my sister. The doctors wanted to help her, and there was a chance they could have, but she refused to do anything that might harm the baby growing in her belly.
It was possible that my father's anger came from that, from the fact that my mother would rather save her child than save herself.
She was selfless, and in the end, she gave her life for my sister.
Thumbing the dulled edge of the photo, I slid Bliss up beside my small face, and stared in shock.
Holy shit, she really is my daughter.
Suddenly, feelings of betrayal and anger started to smother me. My chest became tight, like there was a boulder sitting on my ribs, my blood began to boil, percolating under the skin. The nerves behind my eyes began to throb and pulse, causing a tick in my eyelids.
I have a daughter, and I had no clue she existed.
This wasn't just a secret she had kept from me all these years, this was another life, this was something I had helped create, that was half of me. Bliss was as much a part of me as she was Blue.
How could she keep this from me?
Why would she do this?
“Why didn't you tell me?” I tried to keep my voice even and calm. I didn't want to yell at her, I didn't want to let this anger take control. But it was hard as fuck to not demand answers.
“I couldn't.”
“What do you mean you couldn't?” Veering my stare, I titled my head, fighting back the urge to throw something. “If I'm her father, I had every right to know.”
Blue reached her arm up to touch me, but I brushed her hand away and took a step to the side. I couldn't be touched right then, not by her, not by anyone.
“Jayden, please, hear me out.” Her eyes were big and watery, tears blistering over the surface, magnifying her eyes and making her pupils the size of pools. “I didn't have a choice, my father forced me to.”
“He forced you to? He forced you?” Furrowing my brows, I stroked my jaw. “How could he force you to do anything, Blue?”
“I was a kid, Jayden.”
“Yeah, and?” My lip turned into a snarl as I took a strong step towards her, forcing her to take a nervous step back. “We were both kids, Blue, that doesn't excuse the last eight or nine years. You had every chance in the world to let me know after you turned eighteen, so why didn't you?”
Spinning on her heels, she turned to face the back wall, unable to look me in the eyes. “He told me I had two options; keep the baby and pretend like we don't know who the father is, or give the baby up for adoption if I tell anyone it was yours. I couldn't give her up, I just couldn't.”
“And what about me, huh? When did I have the right to know I had a daughter?”
“Jayden, I'm sorry, I—”
Cutting her off, I took a long, determined lunge forward, boxing her in. “You and your father stole the first ten years of her life from me. I missed everything, all of it, and for what? Because he told you to do it?”
“Jay—”
“I'm not done,” I said harshly, causing Blue to begin to crawl inside herself. Her arms folded up like a praying mantis, her eyes were no longer giant orbs, but were pouring pipes like the damn had finally burst. “I'm that girl's father, no one else. You're an adult now, Blue, and you have been for years. Why didn't you ever pick up a damn phone to call and tell me?”
Standing taller, Blue's eyes cut through me. “You were gone, you left and never came back until now. I didn't know where you were, I didn't know how to find you. My father took everything; my phone, the house phone, the internet. All of it was monitored by him to make sure we didn't talk. And after, I just didn't know how to, I couldn't just call you out of nowhere and tell you that you were a father.”
“I don't give a shit!” My voice boomed in the kitchen, loud and serious. “There's no reason for you to not write me a fucking letter, or call me once he wasn't looking over your shoulder. Instead, you chose to keep the secret, you decided to let her live without a father for a decade.”
Blue glared at me, her mouth turning razor thin. “And what about you, huh?”
“What about me?”
“Where were you all these years?” Dropping her hands to her hips, she kicked out her leg. “Why didn't you ever call me? Why didn't you write me? You left, you just walked away and left, never looking back.”
Throwing out my arm in disbelief, my eyes shot open. “You told me to go! You told me to leave!”
“I didn't know what I was saying! I never thought you'd actually give up on us! But you did, you walked away after everything we talked about doing together.” Blue's eyes glowed with her own anger, her jaw clenched tight. “You left me, you said you never would, but you did. Where were you when I turned eighteen?”
“Don't put this on me. You had my child and never told me! Fuck what we talked about as kids, you had my baby and never said a fucking word to me!”
Sadness and regret clouded her face as her expression softened. “Calm down, Jay,” Blue said, bouncing her hands up and down. “I'm sorry, I know it was wrong, I know I don't have an excuse for not telling you. But I was just a kid, and it really screwed with my head. I wasn't ready to be a mother, I didn't know what else to do.”
Tears were streaming down her face, and I could see the remorse in her eyes. But all of that remorse wasn't enough to temper the anger running through my body.
“This is about more than just you, Blue. This is about a little girl who lost ten years of her life with her father. I mean, what the hell did you tell her about me, anything at all? Or did you make up some story?”
Shrugging her shoulder, her eyes darted all around my face. “I told her her father left before she was born. She hasn't really asked a lot about who her father was.”
“Yeah, because she thinks I'm a deadbeat.” Shaking my head, I crooked my jaw. “I don't know what to say to you.”
“Please don't hate me, Jayden, I never meant to hurt you. I was scared, my father threatened to kick me out on the street if I didn't do what he told me to. What was I supposed to do?”
“Your father was afraid to have his name dragged through the mud, that's all that was. You were the pastor's daughter, how would it look to everyone else if his teenage daughter got knocked up by some scumbag Henry? He didn't do any of this for you or for Bliss, he only did it for himself.”
Dropping back into the kitchen seat, Blue covered her face with her hands and cried. Her body was shaking as she rocked slightly in the chair and sobbed uncontrollably. I wanted to cradle her in my arms, I wanted to reassure her that everything would be alright.
I just couldn't.
The anger I felt outweighed any compassion that was hiding inside. She had kept this from me for years, she had hid a child—my child, and all because her father hated me.
“I'm sorry, Jayden, I really am so sorry.” Tears fell like wilting petals from her cheeks. I watched the drops as they splashed on the floor and disappeared through the cracks in the wood.
“I think you should go.”
Lifting her big doe eyes up to meet mine, she had this look of panic on her face. “But—”
“Just go, Blue, I can't do this right now.” Looking away, all I wanted was for her to leave. My anger was turning into rage, it was starting to rise like a flooded river, moving up through my chest like boiling water.
“Jayden, don't do this, let's talk—”
Snapping my face back in her direction, I snarled. “Go home, Blue.” I was trying so damn hard to not scream at her, to not let her see this side of me, but the longer she was there, the harder it was getting to hold it in. I just needed some time to myself to let this all sink in.
I knew it wasn't her choice in the beginning, and I could understand why she never told me at first. But after she turned eighteen, when her father no longer held the leash to tug his daughter a
long behind him, why didn't she come find me?
It was like no one stepped back and thought about me or about the baby.
What about how I felt?
What about Bliss?
Not one person seemed to stop and think about the people this little secret would really hurt. Blue could say she was sorry all she wanted, but that didn't mean I had the space in my heart to forgive her just yet.
Blue got up from the table, her eyes red and swollen as endless tears rolled down her cheeks. Walking to the door, she opened it with one hand, and turned to look at me one last time over her shoulder.
Clenching my jaw, I stood with my arms crossed over my chest and hate flowing through my body. I hated that she didn't tell me she was pregnant that day at her home when we were kids. I hated that she pushed me away instead of letting me help her. I hated that her father was able to keep my child from me for ten years.
I hate that I waited this long to come back.
And as I watched Blue walk out that door, I wondered if it would be the last time I would see her.
No, I'll see her again. And I'll see my daughter too.
I did want to make things right, I did want to go see Bliss and hold my flesh and blood in my arms. I did want a family—my family. . .
I was done staying away, I was back for good.
Because now. . . I'm claiming what's mine.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jayden
Sitting at the table, I held my coffee cup and stared down at the bagel sandwich I had bought earlier. I wasn't even blinking, just staring blankly at a small knot in the wood table.
I'm a father, a fucking father. . . This is crazy.
Just trying to grasp the concept seemed almost impossible. I didn't get nine months to let it all sink in like most new parents, there wasn't a pregnancy test, or even a frantic phone call that she missed her period. I was oblivious, completely kept in the dark. Now, out of nowhere, I'm a dad to a ten year old girl.
Poof—I'm a father.
